The Best 27 Conscious Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Conscious jokes. There are some conscious deliberate jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these conscious conscience puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Conscious Jokes and Puns

Reddit is possibly the most environmentally conscious site on the internet.

Nearly 100% of the content is recycled at some point, often several times.

The devil has started to get really self conscious about his receding hairline and is planning to take out his anger on the humans if he cant find a solution.....

There's going to be hell toupee

I love how eco conscious this sub is.

All the top content is recycled.

Conscious joke, I love how eco conscious this sub is.

What do you call a health conscious cannibal?

A humanitarian

Hear the one about the guy who couldn't stop worrying about shelves?

He was shelf conscious.

My girlfriend told me, I get really self conscious when I'm out in public.

I joked, Come on, you aren't that ugly.

She said, No, but you are.

I have a librarian friend and a grocer friend who rarely want to hang out with me

because they're just too shelf conscious.

Conscious joke, I have a librarian friend and a grocer friend who rarely want to hang out with me

I went to the library today and said, "I'd like to check these books out."

The librarian said, "Sorry, that's actually against the rules."


The librarian replied, "You see, checking them out only makes them shelf conscious."

Why are librarians so shy?

Their occupation makes them very shelf conscious.

Healthy German

What did the health conscious german say, when he entered Whole Foods?

Gluten Morgen

PS: First time posting an original.

What do you call an environmentally conscious Mexican?

A green bean.

You can explore conscious aware reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean conscious subconsciously dad jokes. There are also conscious puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

I get self conscious about driving my lowered car at times.

I feel like other motorists are always looking down on me.

Be safety conscious

80% of people are caused by accidents.

A wife found that her husband had hung himself after she came home one day

She found a note on the bedside table which read, "I'm sorry but I can't take your constant critism anymore."
She then quickly cut the rope, brought him down and somehow managed to revive him.
As her husband lay in her arms and slowly became conscious again, she remarked:
"That's NOT how you spell criticism my dear!"

A British tabloid has just run a story about how self conscious I am.

Its really upset me, I hate seeing myself in The Mirror.

What do health conscious zombies eat?


Conscious joke, What do health conscious zombies eat?

The Philandering Duck

This swinging philandering duck suddenly became conscious of the danger of acquiring AIDS through sexual promiscuity.

To put himself at ease he went to his local druggist and asked for a condom. "How much will that be?" asked the duck. "1 dollar and 19 cents" replied the druggist. "Would you like me to put this on your bill"? "What kind of a duck to you think I am"? replied the duck.

What's the difference between Gwyneth Paltrow and Bill Cosby?

One has conscious uncouplings while the other has unconscious couplings.

Why was the haunted mansion self conscious?

Because it got a lot of creepy stairs.


What song do health conscious pirates sing?

*Froyo, froyo, a pilates life for me~*

What to NEVER EVER EVER say to a fat girl (or a girl who is overly conscious of her own weight). (OC)

As part of our team,

you're expected to pull your own weight.

they say we shouldn't assume ones gender in 2018...

When did we become so risk conscious?

I'll take 50/50 odds any day!

I'm very environmentally conscious when it comes to women...

I reduce, reuse, and recycle.

Indian names

A young Indian boy was very self conscious of his name and wanted to know why he was called what he was. He went to the chief and asked "chief, why have you given me my name?". The chief said "well son, we give our children their names based on what we see when they are born. Like your brother, Running Buffalo, we saw buffalo running when he was born. Your sister, Blue Sky, was so ugly that we had to look up at the sky when she was born. So, why do you ask Two Dogs Pooping?"

I'm starting to get a bit self conscious about my weight [oc]

When I went for a physical last week I asked the nurse to weigh me after drawing blood but before giving me the flu shot.

What's the difference between an iPhone XS Max and a condom?

They don't sell condoms to people who are conscious of their dicks for $1k

The First Order from Star Wars VII were very environmentally conscious...

...because their Starkiller base was solar powered.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the conscious consciousness jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working conscious subliminal piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes