Conquered Jokes
36 conquered jokes and hilarious conquered puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about conquered that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Conquered Short Jokes
Short conquered jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The conquered humour may include short dominated jokes also.
- I asked my dad why did he become a pilot. He said, "to conquer my greatest fear." "The fear of flying?", I asked.
"No," said dad. "The fear of dying alone." - Everyone knows about Darth Vader, but very few people talk about his wife. ella wasn't great at conquering planets but she did make it easier to navigate the Death Star.
- Whats the difference between Caesar and Casanova? Caesar said:"I came, I saw, I conquered."
Casanova said:"I saw, I conquered, I came." - What's the difference between Julius Caesar and Genghis Khan? Caesar: "I came, I saw, I conquered."
Khan: "I conquered, I saw, I came." - I, Ceasar, when I heard of the name... I, Ceasar, when I heard of the name
Of Cleopatra, I straightaway laid claim.
Ahead of my legions, she conquered my regions,
I saw, I conquered, I came. - Sean Connery: A Man Who Conquers All *obviously, this is read in the man's grizzled voice*
What's the difference between your mother and a motorcycle?
When I ride a motorcycle... I wear protection. - It's only a matter of time before Canada conquers the world... ...then we'll all be sorry.
- What would happen if Hungary invaded and conquered Turkey? A new kingdom would be formed known as full.
- I've finally managed to conquer my addiction to swimming. I've been dry for six months now.
- Today I conquered my fear of public speaking and gave a rousing, powerful speech about how nobody likes a quitter. ...aaaand they kicked me out of the 12-step program.
Share These Conquered Jokes With Friends
Conquered One Liners
Which conquered one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with conquered? I can suggest the ones about captured and possessed.
- One day Canada will conquer the world. Everybody will be sorry.
- Can you conquer the largest continent on earth? No, but Genghis Khan!
- Why did Napoleon conquer so much land? Because he didn't have much Toulouse.
- Could you conquer more than half of a continent? No, but Genghis Khan!
- What did Germany say to France after conquering Poland? Europe next.
- What do you call it when an Asian country tries to conquer another one? An invasian.
- Why did Genghis Khan conquer so much? Because he was Genghis Khan, not Genghis Khannot.
- What would Israel be called if it ever gets conquered? Wasrael
- What did the sun say after melting Frosty the Snowman? I came, I thaw, I conquered .
- What do you call a skeleton who conquers Europe? Napoleon Bonyparts.
- What did Shang Tsung say after conquering South Korea? "Your Seoul is mine!"
- What conquers math? A ruler.
- How did Genghis Khan conquer Mongolia? One steppe at a time.
- Hungary conquered Turkey... They had to change their name to Full.
- Did Japan conquer China? Man, sure yeah they did.
Share Hilarious Conquered Jokes and Enjoy Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about conquered you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean invade jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make conquered pranks.
A r**..., a carpenter, and Alexander the Great walk into a bar
They came, they saw, they conquered
Inner Peace
If you can start the day without caffeine,
If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
If you can conquer tension without medical help,
If you can relax without alcohol,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
Then You Are Probably The Family Dog!
And you thought I was going to get all spiritual ...
Caesar: Veni, vidi, vici
meaning I came, I saw, I conquered.
Which is probably useful for explaining why the s**... club down the street now has the motto:
Veni, vidi, veni.
Ancient Rome conquered many lands. The leader of the time decided to tour...
He made it to England where he encountered a type of weather he had never seen before. As the frozen rain fell he asked "what is this?!"
The commander replied "Hail, Cesar".
Cesar replied "Hail! Now, what is this weather?"
...
...
"It's horrible."
"Agree."
