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That's the last time I use my Sean Connery accent to ask her to sit on my face.
"I have only my shelf to blame"
"Shomething'sh Amish..."
whilst doing a Sean Connery impersonation.
He was sat down reading a book when a large encyclopaedia fell and hit him on the head. "Ouch!" He said. "What was that? Who is responsible for this?" He then looked down at the book and noticed what it was. "Oh well" he said. "I guess I've only got myshelf to blame".
To sit on his face.
Yes, but only partially.
Tennish.
...I can only blame myshelf.
*obviously, this is read in the man's grizzled voice*
What's the difference between your mother and a motorcycle?
When I ride a motorcycle... I wear protection.
In the library of course. They're for shelf-defense.
He said he "couldn't find a shingle person to do it."
One day at primary school, the teacher said to the class of 5-year-olds, "I'll give 50 cents to the child who can tell me who was the most famous man who ever lived."
An Irish lad put his hand up and said, "It's Bono!"
The teacher said, "Sorry, Sean, that's not correct."
Then a Scottish boy put up his hand and said, "It's Sean Connery!"
The teacher replied, "I'm sorry, Harry, that's not right either."
Finally, a little Jewish girl raised her hand and said, "It was Jesus Christ."
The teacher said, "That's absolutely right, Esther. Come up here and I'll give you your 50 cents.
As the teacher was giving Esther her money, she said, "You know Esther, you being Jewish, I was very surprised you said Jesus Christ."
Esther replied, "I know- in my heart it's Moses, but business is business."
(Read in Mr. Connery's voice)
Ash I wash walking through my houshe, a book fell on me.
I had only myshelf to blame.
I only have my shelf to blame.
He had Dish-abilities
He said 'you've only got your shelf to blame'.
"Tennish"
There was nowhere else to shit.
** comedy silence **
Tennish
He'd tell Murph to stop talking to her shelf.
Tennish.
Tenish...
He used to be in everything but now he's basically retired...
Shellfish.
"I'm ashamed of my shelf.
and the reporter breathlessly asks his idol, "Mr. Connery your fans have three questions for you, do you drink martinis shaken or stirred?" In a deep Scottish brogue Sean Connery replies, "Shaken."
"And which do you prefer, Octopussy or Pussy Galore?" to which Sean Connery barely lets him finish the question "Pussy Galore! Man, Pussy Galore!" "Lastly, do you wear boxers or briefs?" Sean Connery arches one bold eyebrow and says, "Depends."
Tennish
They are talking to the director about what roles they want to play.
Sean Connery says "I would shertainly like to play Moshart."
Sylvester Stallone says "Uh, well, I guess I wanna play Beethoven."
And so Arnold pauses a moment, and then says "I'll be Bach."
He kept trying to shave the princess.
Like a Bosch!
Sean Connery walks into a bar. He says "I'd like a single shot." The bartender says "That's a good idea because if you had the chickenpox, the virus is already in you."
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