Connection Jokes
100 connection jokes and hilarious connection puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about connection that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article brings together funny jokes about our current reliance on internet connection and how losing access can be frustrating. From tales of disconnection disappointment to stories of unprecedented wifi access, this collection of connection jokes has something for everyone. Don't miss out on the fun!
Quick Jump To
- Short Connection Jokes
- Connection One Liners
- Internet Connection Jokes
- Wifi Connection Jokes
- Bad Connection Jokes
- Rainbow Connection Jokes
- More Connection Jokes
Funniest Connection Short Jokes
Short connection jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The connection humour may include short network jokes also.
- What is the difference between USA and USB? One connects to all of your devices and accesses the data, the other is a hardware standard.
- What is the difference between USA and USB? One connects to your computer and accesses all your data. The other is an industry standard.
- I never knew how technologically advanced moses was... But today I learned he had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud.
- I just found my old Nokia and connected it with my power bank. The power bank is now fully charged again.
- Just because someone found out how to connect a keyboard and a portable radio together doesn't make them a nerd That would be stereotyping.
- I've found my old Nokia phone so I connected it to a powerbank. Powerbank is now full. Phone still has 3 bars.
- Met a girl in the park... Met a girl in the park last night and there was an instant spark between us, a definite connection, she fell at my feet.
These taser guns are well worth the money. - My IT friend tried to flirt with a waitress and failed miserably I guess it wasn't the first time he couldn't connect to the server
- I think I really connected with my inner self today… That's the last time I use cheap toilet paper.
- How Can You Tell When The NSA is Monitoring Your Computer? The power is on and you're connected to the internet.
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Connection One Liners
Which connection one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with connection? I can suggest the ones about relations and communication.
- Look, I'm all for coloring books... but connect-the-dots? That's where I draw the line.
- What's the best dating service in India? Connect the dots.
(I'll see my self out.) - What connects The Sixth Sense and Titanic? Icy dead people.
- Why was the Router released early from prison? It had connections.
- Technically it was Moses..... that had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud.
- I've always had a deep connection with mirrors I see a lot of myself in them
- I once dated a girl just for her internet connection She was wifi material.
- What do you call an Indian dating service? Connect the dots.
- What sort of Internet connection can you get in a barn? Stable WiFi.
- What's India's most popular dating service? Connect the Dots.
- I'm in a serious relationship with my WIFI You could say we have a strong connection.
- Why don't horses use the internet? They can't find stable connections.
- I hate connect-the-dot puzzles. That's where I draw the line.
- Whst should a man call a wink from his wife ? Wife eye connection.
- What game should you play if you're bored in a bus full of indians? Connect the dots.
Internet Connection Jokes
Here is a list of funny internet connection jokes and even better internet connection puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The internet connection at my farm is really sketchy, so I moved the modem to the barn. Now I have stable wifi.
- The internet connection at my farm was terribly slow, so I moved my modem to the barn... Now I have stable wifi.
- I was having trouble with my internet connection at the farm, so I moved my modem to the barn. Now I have stable wifi.
- What do you call a Chinese man with a bad internet connection? Hi Ping
- Early to Bed and Early to Rise proves that . The Person has no Internet Connection...;-p
- Internet arguments are like connect four but you only have three pieces
- Today while FaceTiming , my crush stared at me for an hour so I stared back at him . Turns out his internet connection was very slow and asked me if I had the same problem too .
- Why didn't the fisherman care about his wireless internet connection? Because either-net works when he's catfishing.
- Why are alligators' Internet connections so slow? Because their modems are croco-dial up.
- How do Australians connect to the internet? They use the LAN down under.
Wifi Connection Jokes
Here is a list of funny wifi connection jokes and even better wifi connection puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I've got a high tech toilet that's connected to the Wi-Fi and I just received a notification. There was an unexpected log in...
- Why do churches ban Wifi Networks? Because they don't want to compete with an invisible connection that actually works.
- Every date I've ever had has been like my WiFi signal. No Connection.
- My grandma and I were face timing with a bad connection So she says, "hold on, let me open the door to let some WiFi's in."
True stories can be jokes too.. - Hey girl is there wifi here? Cuz i feel a connection
- I named my WIFI after my Ex Girlfriend. I never really connect with it, it's very slow and also because I caught my neighbour using it.
- What's in a name? Boy asks a girl: Is your name WiFi?
Girl: No, why?
Boy: Because I am feeling a connection. - My internet connection on my farm was be terrible until I moved the router in the horse barn. Now I have stable WiFi.
- I went to a sermon because they said they had free wifi. But they didn't, I couldn't connect to the promised LAN.
- My wi-fe and my wi-fi They're both 1 meg, very useful in the kitchen and never want to connect in the bedroom
Bad Connection Jokes
Here is a list of funny bad connection jokes and even better bad connection puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- As you grow up, you will start to see that people morality is not necessarily connected to their relation with the law. While the outlaws are bad, the in-laws can be much worse.
- Why are lumberjacks bad at online video games? Because their connections are so weak they are always logging out.
- What do you call a person from the Middle East with a bad internet connection? Alagin
- Are you bad wifi? Because I see there is no connection here.
- My friend said he found a website that represents my s**... life. I tried to look for it and an error came up saying, "404-Not found".
Strange, I must have a bad connection.
Rainbow Connection Jokes
Here is a list of funny rainbow connection jokes and even better rainbow connection puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did the unicorn cross the road? To make the rainbow connection!
- What do you call a pair of gay muppets? A rainbow connection!
- How did one gay Muppet know the other gay Muppet? The rainbow connection
Silly Connection Jokes for a Good Time with Friends
What funny jokes about connection you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean conversation jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make connection pranks.
Do you know who was the biggest sponser of the movie Human Centipede?
Nokia.
Nokia - Connecting people
Sorry.
Three engineering students.
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body.
One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."
Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."
The last said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
A ship is sinking in the middle of Atlantic...
A ship is going down in the middle of Atlantic. There's no hope, the captain is desperate, and suddenly someone tells him that among the passengers, there's a rabbi who can perform miracles.
The rabbi is immediately brought to the captain, and he implores him:
-- Rabbi, what can be done?!
-- Do you still have the internet connection?
-- Yes!
-- Sell the ship!
Teddy Bears
A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together.
They get back to her place, and as she shows him around her apartment, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears.
Hundreds of small bears on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium sized ones on a shelf a little higher and huge bears on the top shelf along the wall.
The man is kind of surprised that this woman would have a collection of teddy bears, especially one that's so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her.
After a night of passion, as they are lying together in the after glow the man rolls over and asks, smiling, "Well, how was it?"
The woman says, "You can have any prize from the BOTTOM shelf."
I called a s**... prevention line.
It connected me to a call center in Pakistan. I told them I felt suicidal and they asked if I could drive a truck.
Hi, I would like to hear a TCP joke.
Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?
Yes, I'd like to hear a TCP joke.
OK, I'll tell you a TCP joke.
OK, I'll hear a TCP joke.
Are you ready to hear a TCP joke?
Yes, I am ready to hear a TCP joke.
OK, I'm about to send the TCP joke. It will last 10 seconds, it has two characters, it does not have a setting, it ends with a punchline.
OK, I'm ready to hear the TCP joke that will last 10 seconds, has two characters, does not have a setting and will end with a punchline.
I'm sorry, your connection has timed out... ...Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?
I decided to replace my belt with multiple watches connected together.
It was a big waist of time.
girl are u my neighbor's wifi?
cuz u have a s**... name and im having trouble connecting
So I told h**... about 9/11
I told him about the carnage and the aftermath, and how the state of America was changed forever, but he was confused.
So, I told him about the backstory, and how Bin Laden began to plan this in the 90s, but he was still confused.
Then, I told him about the numerous connections and the conspirators who trained to fly the planes.
I saw the look on his face.
"What's the confusion?"
h**...: "But why no eleven?"
Most Confusing Password
I was in a couple's home trying to fix their Internet connection.
The husband called out to his wife
in the other room for the computer password. Start with a capital S, then 123, she shouted back.
We tried S123 several times, but
it didn't work. So we called the wife in. As she input the password, she muttered, I really don't know what's so difficult about typing Start123.
What's a Pirate's least favourite letter?
Dear Customer,
Due to recent i**... activities that have been performed through your connection, your internet service has been permanently disconnected.
-Sincerely, your ISP.
Three engineers were discussing who could have been the architect of the human body.
The first said, "It definitely was a Mechanical Engineer, look at all the joints."
The second said, "Nah dude, it was an Electrical Engineer, look at all the electrical connections from the brain."
The third said, "Nope, only a Civil Engineer will run piping carrying sanitation waste right next to a recreational area."
On the plane
A businessman travels on the plane, first class. He tries to start a conversation with beautiful stewardess:
-What's your name?
-Angela Benz, sir.
-That is a beautiful name! Is there any connection with Mercedes Benz?
-Yes, sir. A very close one.
-How close?
-Same price.
I'm going to start a metal band that writes songs about how important it is to connect with people in your professional network...
...and call it LinkedIn Park.
I'll show myself out now.
Three engineers are discussing what sort of god designed the human body.
The first says "god must be a mechanical engineer. Look at all these joints!"
The second says "nonsense! God must be an electrical engineer. The brain is made of millions of electrical connections!"
The third says "both of you are wrong! God must be a civic engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
An American, Frenchman, Israeli, Spaniard, and a German are on a video call. Their boss logs in and starts the meeting by askng "How's my connection, can everybody see me alright?" They answer:
"yes", "oui", "ken", "si", "ja"
My friend told me that for minimal lag i should use an analogue connection instead of Bluetooth for my speaker system....
Sound advice.
Show Off - A young businessman has just set up his own company.
A young businessman has just set up his own company. He rents an office downtown and buys some trendy furniture for it. Sitting behind his new desk, he suddenly sees a potential client come into the outer office. Wanting to appear busy, he picks up the phone and pretends that he's calling an important client. Offer them no more than $3 million! he shouts
down the phone. And tell them that if it isn't finished by next week, they won't get a penny! After hanging up , the man says to the visitor, "Hello? Can I help you?" And the visitor replies, Yes, I'm from the phone company. I've come to connect your phone line.
I was suspicious or my girlffriend cheating on me with this guy from her gym. So i pick up her phone at night when she's sleeping ..
...and drive to this dude's place on the other side of the town and go to stand on his porch to see if the wifi connects
God gave a wish to a man
God gave a wish to a man.
The man asked, " I want the whole world to be connected by a road".
"Sorry son, it's technically impossible to engineer such a road. Ask something else" , he replied.
"Well then, I want Trump to think before he speaks something", he asked.
"You want that road 8 lanes wide or 10 lanes?
Let's discuss details", god replied.
Poor planning?
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, "it was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints." Another said, "no, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections." The last said, "actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
Three engineers argue about who designed the human body
"Look at all the supports and joints... " said the first engineer, "... it must have been a structural engineer."
"No, no, it was an electrical engineer; just look at the nervous system and all its connections and wiring." said the second engineer.
"Both of you are wrong" exclaimed the third engineer. "It was a civil engineer, because only a civil engineer would run a toxic pipeline through the middle of a recreational area."
Who designed the human body?
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body.
One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints!"
Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."
The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through the recreational area?"
So this guy had found a magic lamp, which had a genie in it. After a while...
**Genie:** So master, you have one wish left, think wisely.
**Guy:** Hmmm, I wish there was a railroad that connect New York City to Moscow.
**Genie:** That... is quite a big wish you got there. Do you have anything more reasonable?
**Guy:** In that case, I wish I was able to understand women.
**Genie:** Did you want your railroad to be single or double track?
I was at a restaurant and a cute waitress was flirting with me. She gave her email and told me to hit her up sometime. I tried to email her the next day but the internet was down.
I couldn't connect to the server
I was once in a pretty serious relationship with a cake
We went on several dates over the course of a few weeks. The chemistry was great and I thought we really had a connection. One special night I leaned in close to my cake and whispered, I love you."
The cake burst into tiers.
My internet connection is a lot like my grandad
It's down most of the time, and even when it's up, it's shaky as h**... and we all know it's gonna go down again soon
What happens when a computer engineer fails flirting with a waitress?
Error in connecting to the server
What's the difference between USA and USB?
One connects to your devices and gathers your personal data, and the other is an industry standard.
I'm starting to not like the Middle East.
The plot's too confusing and I can't connect with any of the characters.
I think my wife and I are telepathically connected
Every time I feel h**... she immediately gets a headache
God must be an engineer.
Three engineering students are discussing what sort of God
must have designed the human body. The first says, 'God must be a mechanical engineer.
Look at all the joints."
The second says,"I think God must be an electrical engineer. The nervous system has thousands of electrical connections." The third says, "Actually, God is a civil engineer.
Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
What is a pirate's LEAST favourite letter?
Dear Sir or Ma'am,
we are cutting your internet connection due to i**... downloading and copyright violations.
Sincerely, Internet Provider
A young businessman had just started his own firm.
A young businessman had just started his own firm. He rented a beautiful office and furnished it with antiques. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wanting to appear busy, he picked up the phone and started to pretend big deal was in the works. He threw a huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally he hung up and asked: Can I help you?
Sure , the man said I've come to connect the phone.
