The Best 52 Connection Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Connection jokes. There are some connection icloud jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these connection scamming puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Connection Jokes and Puns

A ship is sinking in the middle of Atlantic...

A ship is going down in the middle of Atlantic. There's no hope, the captain is desperate, and suddenly someone tells him that among the passengers, there's a rabbi who can perform miracles.

The rabbi is immediately brought to the captain, and he implores him:

-- Rabbi, what can be done?!

-- Do you still have the internet connection?

-- Yes!

-- Sell the ship!

Why do churches ban Wifi Networks?

Because they don't want to compete with an invisible connection that actually works.

So on the morning of 9/11 then Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf rang up Bush

Musharraf - "Mr President, I would like to express my condolences to you. It is a real tragedy. So many people, such great buildings... I would like to assure that we had nothing in connection with that..

Bush - "What buildings? What people?"

Musharraf - "Oh, what time is it in America now?"

Bush - "It's eight in the morning."

Musharraf - "Oops... Will call back in an hour."

Connection joke, So on the morning of 9/11 then Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf rang up Bush

The tightrope walker fell off the rope when his phone lost the internet connection.

He couldn't get back online.

*sorry*

What's the difference between my ex girlfriend and Ebola?

Ebola needs a connection to spread.


Met a girl in the park...

Met a girl in the park last night and there was an instant spark between us, a definite connection, she fell at my feet.

These taser guns are well worth the money.

I've always had a deep connection with mirrors

I see a lot of myself in them

Connection joke, I've always had a deep connection with mirrors

My internet connection on my farm was be terrible until I moved the router in the horse barn.

Now I have stable WiFi.

My internet connection.

I blame the telephone company for my absent father.

Me and him never had a good connection.

What's in a name?

Boy asks a girl: Is your name WiFi?
Girl: No, why?
Boy: Because I am feeling a connection.

You can explore connection unprecedented reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean connection communication dad jokes. There are also connection puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What's the connection between the Star Trek Enterprise and toilet paper?

They both travel around Uranus looking for Klingons.

The first time I had sex I cried

I don't know whether it was the physical contact, emotional connection, or pepper spray but any way I teared up.

My friend said he found a website that represents my sex life.

I tried to look for it and an error came up saying, "404-Not found".

Strange, I must have a bad connection.

Hi, I would like to hear a TCP joke.

Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?

Yes, I'd like to hear a TCP joke.

OK, I'll tell you a TCP joke.

OK, I'll hear a TCP joke.

Are you ready to hear a TCP joke?

Yes, I am ready to hear a TCP joke.

OK, I'm about to send the TCP joke. It will last 10 seconds, it has two characters, it does not have a setting, it ends with a punchline.

OK, I'm ready to hear the TCP joke that will last 10 seconds, has two characters, does not have a setting and will end with a punchline.

I'm sorry, your connection has timed out... ...Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?

My ex-girlfriends all did me dirty like the first 25% of a Netflix loading screen.

I was repeatedly tricked into thinking there was a connection

Connection joke, My ex-girlfriends all did me dirty like the first 25% of a Netflix loading screen.

Why you cannot think of landing a job or business without internet?

No connection

What do you call a Chinese man with a bad internet connection?

Hi Ping

I think my cat is using me for my money

I mean the sex is great, but I just don't feel an emotional connection.


Hey girl is there wifi here?

Cuz i feel a connection

After the initial energy surrounding lithium's arrest...

Charges were dropped, due to lack of connection.

My internet connection is just like my Ex-Girlfriend

Unstable

Why was the mushroom invited to the party?

He had a connection to a guy who could get cheap beer when buying in bulk, and he had connections to a family member of the host.

Oh and he was a fungi.

The common connection between Hillary Clinton and Acid

Trying to fall asleep on acid is like Hillary's presidential career. No matter how much you force it, its never going to happen.

I had to fire my receptionist today.

There was just no connection.

My grandma and I were face timing with a bad connection

So she says, "hold on, let me open the door to let some WiFi's in."

True stories can be jokes too..

United inflight movie suggestions?

So far I've got:

The Chinese Connection
Necessary Roughness

Most Confusing Password

I was in a couple's home trying to fix their Internet connection. 
The husband called out to his wife 
in the other room for the computer password. Start with a capital S, then 123, she shouted back.

We tried S123 several times, but 
it didn't work. So we called the wife in. As she input the password, she muttered, I really don't know what's so difficult about typing Start123.

I'm in a serious relationship with my WIFI

You could say we have a strong connection.

What's a Pirate's least favourite letter?

Dear Customer,

Due to recent illegal activities that have been performed through your connection, your internet service has been permanently disconnected.

-Sincerely, your ISP.

Which Hollywood director always gets problems with his internet connection?

Christopher NoLAN

Dr Eggman plays Counterstrike, and checks his connection...

"Low ping as usual, I see."

On the plane

A businessman travels on the plane, first class. He tries to start a conversation with beautiful stewardess:

-What's your name?

-Angela Benz, sir.

-That is a beautiful name! Is there any connection with Mercedes Benz?

-Yes, sir. A very close one.

-How close?

-Same price.

An American, Frenchman, Israeli, Spaniard, and a German are on a video call. Their boss logs in and starts the meeting by askng "How's my connection, can everybody see me alright?" They answer:

"yes", "oui", "ken", "si", "ja"

What sort of Internet connection can you get in a barn?

Stable WiFi.

I have an unpredictable connection with my tap.

It's a hot and cold relationship.

My internet connection and my diet are missing one thing in common...

Fiber

Why didn't the fisherman care about his wireless internet connection?

Because either-net works when he's catfishing.

My friend told me that for minimal lag i should use an analogue connection instead of Bluetooth for my speaker system....

Sound advice.

Why did the unicorn cross the road?

To make the rainbow connection!

What do you call a connection between two points in space-time through which only dragons can pass?

A wyrmhole.

Attention Nerds!

It would be so much easier if humans came with an error message just like computers do.
Imagine sitting in a restaurant and failing miserably at flirting with the waitress.
"Warning! Error establishing connection with the Server"

I don't think the relationship with my phone is working out

We have no connection outside the house

A robot tried to start a conversation with an attractive waitress

But he wasn't so successful in doing so. The error message read:

`Error: failed to establish connection with server. `

Today while FaceTiming , my crush stared at me for an hour so I stared back at him .

Turns out his internet connection was very slow and asked me if I had the same problem too .

What do you call a modem in a safe?

A secure connection.

Every date I've ever had has been like my WiFi signal.

No Connection.

The internet connection at my farm was terribly slow, so I moved my modem to the barn...

Now I have stable wifi.

Me and my brother have quite the connection together

We're siamese twins



Note: I am actually not a siamese twin

The internet connection at my farm is really sketchy, so I moved the modem to the barn.

Now I have stable wifi.

I was once in a pretty serious relationship with a cake

We went on several dates over the course of a few weeks. The chemistry was great and I thought we really had a connection. One special night I leaned in close to my cake and whispered, I love you."



The cake burst into tiers.

My internet connection is a lot like my grandad

It's down most of the time, and even when it's up, it's shaky as hell and we all know it's gonna go down again soon

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the connection void jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working connection signal piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes