Connecticut Jokes

Following is our collection of sybil puns and york one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Connecticut jokes for adults, dirty georgian jokes and clean preposition dad gags for kids.

The Best Connecticut Puns

It's a miracle!

An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut.

The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"

"Just water," says the priest.

The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"

The priest looks at the bottle and says,
"Good Lord! He's done it again!"

Where y'all from?

Two freshmen girls are moving into their dorm room together.

One of them's from Georgia, one of them's from Connecticut.

The girl from Connecticut's helping her mother put up curtains.

Girl from Georgia turns to them and says, "Hi. Where y'all from?"

Girl from Connecticut says, "We're from a place where we know not to end a sentence with a preposition."

The girl from Georgia says, "Oh, beg my pardon. Where y'all from...cunt?"

A businesswoman from Connecticut has a meeting in Alabama.

Her meeting done, she stops at a local bar for a quick drink.

Her bartender, noting her northern accent, says "Yew shore talk purty. Whar did you go to school?"

She smiles and says, "Yale."

He says, "YEW SHORE TALK PURTY. WHAR DID YOU GO TO SCHOOL?"

Two girls are setting up their new dorm room together.

One is from Georgia and the other is from Connecticut. The one from Connecticut has her mom there helping her put up some blinds. The one from Georgia asks, "Hey! Where y'all from?" The other girl replies, "We're from a place where we know not to end our sentences with prepositions." So the girl from Georgia says,

"Oh, I'm sorry. Where y'all from...cunt?"

The keynote speaker for the medical conference walked up to the stage. "Before I begin," he started, "is there anyone in the audience from Connecticut? "

A couple members of the audience raised their hands. "Ok, thank you. You may put your hands down; I needed to check the accuracy of my CT scans."


This year I vow to be twice the husband and father that I have been

I'm gonna spend equal time with my secret family in Connecticut

So I hear there is a rule about not ending sentences with a preposition.

A snobbish English teacher was sitting in an Atlanta airport coffee shop waiting for her flight back to Connecticut, when a friendly Southern belle sat down next to her.

'Where y'all goin' to?' asked the Southern belle.

Turning her nose in the air, the snob replied 'I don't answer people who end their sentences with prepositions'.

The Southern belle thought a moment, and tried again. 'Where y'all goin' to, bitch?'

For my cakeday, a joke for you Connecticut state residents out there.

What's the difference between Bridgeport, CT, and Gotham City?

One's a post-industrial urban hellhole ridden with violent crime, corruption, and murderous psychopaths, and the other's Gotham City!

In Connecticut it is illegal...

To hang a man with a wooden leg. You have to use a rope just like everywhere else

A buddy of mine was making fun of me for not knowing about the second C in Connecticut.

I told him, "Excuse me for not knowing it wasn't spelled phonectically."

There is an abundance of ohio jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 10 funniest jokes and connecticut puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any residents witze you can hear about connecticut.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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