Connecticut Jokes
15 connecticut jokes and hilarious connecticut puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about connecticut that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Connecticut Short Jokes
Short connecticut jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The connecticut humour may include short northern jokes also.
- Surveys show people from Massachusetts go camping more than any other state. Their destination usually includes one of Connecticut's many passing lanes.
- This year I vow to be twice the husband and father that I have been I'm gonna spend equal time with my secret family in Connecticut
- A buddy of mine was making fun of me for not knowing about the second C in Connecticut. I told him, "Excuse me for not knowing it wasn't spelled phonectically."
- In Connecticut it is i**...... To hang a man with a wooden leg. You have to use a rope just like everywhere else
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Connecticut One Liners
Which connecticut one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with connecticut? I can suggest the ones about preposition and residents.
- If Nokia's HQ was in Hartford, what would its slogan be? Connecticut People.
- You think you have a bad job? I'm working at the Return Desk at Toy R' Us in Connecticut
- Autumn Gun Works Inc in Connecticut... had a back to school sale today.
- I just flew in from Connecticut.... ....and boy are my firearms tired.
Cheeky Connecticut Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle
What funny jokes about connecticut you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean dorm jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make connecticut pranks.
It's a miracle!
An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut.
The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"
"Just water," says the priest.
The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"
The priest looks at the bottle and says,
"Good Lord! He's done it again!"
A priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut
The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?""Just water," says the priest. The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again
Where y'all from?
Two freshmen girls are moving into their dorm room together.
One of them's from Georgia, one of them's from Connecticut.
The girl from Connecticut's helping her mother put up curtains.
Girl from Georgia turns to them and says, "Hi. Where y'all from?"
Girl from Connecticut says, "We're from a place where we know not to end a sentence with a preposition."
The girl from Georgia says, "Oh, beg my pardon. Where y'all from...c**...?"
A woman from Connecticut goes on a business trip to Arkansas...
...and, her meeting over and business concluded, she goes to the hotel bar to enjoy a quiet drink.
The bartender, hearing her order, says "Yew shore talk purty. Whar did yew go to school?"
Smiling slightly, the lady says "Yale."
Bartender draws a deep breath and says "YEW SHORE TALK PURTY. WHAR DID YEW GO TO SCHOOL?"
A businesswoman from Connecticut has a meeting in Alabama.
Her meeting done, she stops at a local bar for a quick drink.
Her bartender, noting her northern accent, says "Yew shore talk purty. Whar did you go to school?"
She smiles and says, "Yale."
He says, "YEW SHORE TALK PURTY. WHAR DID YOU GO TO SCHOOL?"
Two girls are setting up their new dorm room together.
One is from Georgia and the other is from Connecticut. The one from Connecticut has her mom there helping her put up some blinds. The one from Georgia asks, "Hey! Where y'all from?" The other girl replies, "We're from a place where we know not to end our sentences with prepositions." So the girl from Georgia says,
"Oh, I'm sorry. Where y'all from...c**...?"
Library of Congress bomber…
Yesterday's attempted bomber said there are 4 more bombs planted in DC. After botching b**... Congress by showing up at the Library of Congress, the FBI has ordered the immediate evacuation of :
-the Richmond Mall's Supreme Food Court
-The Hexagon Building on Connecticut Ave
-International House of Pancakes
-literally anyone with a white house.
The keynote speaker for the medical conference walked up to the stage. "Before I begin," he started, "is there anyone in the audience from Connecticut? "
A couple members of the audience raised their hands. "Ok, thank you. You may put your hands down; I needed to check the accuracy of my CT scans."
So I hear there is a rule about not ending sentences with a preposition.
A snobbish English teacher was sitting in an Atlanta airport coffee shop waiting for her flight back to Connecticut, when a friendly Southern belle sat down next to her.
'Where y'all goin' to?' asked the Southern belle.
Turning her nose in the air, the snob replied 'I don't answer people who end their sentences with prepositions'.
The Southern belle thought a moment, and tried again. 'Where y'all goin' to, b**...?'