Congressmen Jokes

Following is our collection of pheromone puns and congressman one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Congressmen jokes for adults, dirty mras jokes and clean gop dad gags for kids.

The Best Congressmen Puns

The 13th Amendment makes it illegal to buy people.

Apparently, it doesn't apply to congressmen.

The price of oil has dropped so far that...

Exxon-Mobil had to lay off 25 Congressmen.

How many Congressmen does it take to change a light bulb?

Better buy a flashlight

The economy is so bad

ExxonMobil just laid off 25 Congressmen.

How many congressmen does it take to change a lightbulb?

Doesn't really matter, they forgot to pass the electricity bill again.


Why do Congressmen make terrible cashiers?

They're all too afraid of change.

What do you call a group of forgetful congressmen?

An oversight committee

Congressmen don't have sex

They just mass debate.

What's the difference between ex-cons and congressmen?

Every once in a while ex-cons pass a few good bills.

How many congressmen does it take to run a government?

This post is government funded, please check back after the shutdown has ended and funding has resumed.

How many GOP congressmen does it take to change a light bulb?

Doesn't matter, light wasn't burnt out, they haven't had any bright ideas in decades to turn it on.


I want Trump to win the presidential election

We would be able to see a celebrity apprentice with only congressmen and women. It would be nice to see them work for a change.

Why don't congressmen use bookmarks?

They just bend over the pages.

Terrorists on Capital Hill

I was driving along Pennsylvania Ave earlier today and there was a huge traffic jam. "What's going on?" I asked a guy walking by.

"Terrorists have taken over Capital Hill and they are threatening to burn the entire place down with all of the Congressmen in it if they don't get million dollars. I'm going around collecting donations."

"How much are people giving on average?"

"About a gallon."

What do you call it when homosexual congressmen have lunch together?

A Federal Mandate

Why do horses make terrible congressmen?

Because they can only say "neigh!"

I wish this was a joke made up by my 7 year old cousin, but she's imaginary.

So I decided to become a congressman.

I give a call to the Senate.
: you guys need any congressmen?
: Are you retarted?
: No, but I'm willing to learn.

There is an abundance of dems jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 17 funniest jokes and congressmen puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any biden witze you can hear about congressmen.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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