Congestion Jokes

Following is our collection of weekday puns and police one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Congestion jokes for adults, dirty hrs jokes and clean vicks dad gags for kids.

The Best Congestion Puns

LPT: When calling out of work or school, don't fake congestion, etc... instead try using your best Indian accent.

There's a much higher chance they'll believe you're Sikh.

A lorry has just overturned on the M6 loaded with Vicks vapour rub.

Police have said there will be no congestion for eight hours.

A truck loaded with Vicks VapoRub overturns on the motorway...

Police confirms there will be no congestion for eight hours.

It is known that masturbation eases congestion

"I swear officer, I was only trying to help traffic move along!"

According to a recent medical study, masturbation helps to ease congestion.

The traffic cops on my afternoon commute did not agree, however.

Before I get into Spring Break traffic, I cover my car in Mucinex...

It really thins out the congestion.

What did the man who blamed his nasal congestion on the federal reserve do in response?


A lorry carrying 25 tons of Vicks Vapour Rub has overturned on the M6, near Birmingham, spilling it's load onto the carriage way.

The Police have said, there will be no congestion for at least 12hrs.

Where is the flu most common?

In cities with high levels of congestion!!

A large wagon contaning menthol mints has crashed and shed it's load over the highway.

Police say there will be no congestion for at least the next 4 miles.

I had to shut down my company that reduces vehicular congestion in urban cores.

The investors said they wanted to see more traffic.

Lorry crashes and leaves the road full of boxes.

Don't worry though, it was just boxes of Vicks vapour rub....

There was no congestion at all.

There is an abundance of freeway jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 12 funniest jokes and congestion puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any blockage witze you can hear about congestion.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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