The Best 67 Cong Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Cong jokes. There are some cong prehistoric jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these cong tran puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Cong Jokes and Puns
Why will the congress never impeach Trump?
Because the republicans always insist on carrying a baby to full term.
Congratulations to the winner of last night's presidential debate!
The Voyager probe, flying away from Earth at an estimated 62000 km per hour.
Congratulations to Justin Trudeau on the results of the Canadian Election
He always did want to be a minority.
Congratulations to Amy Winehouse...
...on six months of sobriety.
I'd like to congratulate Whitney Houston...
...on being 24 hours sober!
Congratulations to Amy Winehouse
For being sober one year.
Congratulations to Snooki who gave birth today to a baby boy...
5 NJ High School rings, 2 condoms, and 12 press on nails.
- Congratulations, my boy! - Says the uncle to the nephew who is getting married the next day.
- I'm sure a couple of years from now, you will remind of this day as the happiest day of your life!
- But I'm only getting married tomorrow - responds the nephew.
- Yeah - explains uncle - That is exactly what I meant!
Congratulations on your accomplishments!
Whitney Houston, on being year sober!
How many Congressmen does it take to change a light bulb?
Better buy a flashlight
Why do Congressmen make terrible cashiers?
They're all too afraid of change.
You can explore cong vietnamese reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean cong density dad jokes. There are also cong puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Six U.S congress men die and go to heaven.
Congratulations to Alabama for making same sex marriage legal
Now the men can finally marry their brothers
I would like to congratulate Amy Winehouse
on almost 4 years of sobriety.
I'd like to be the first
to congratulate Amy Winehouse on her 4 years of sobriety.
Congress passes bill.
Congratulations to Tu Youyou on winning the Nobel Prize in Medicine and for being the most confusing person to sing Happy Birthday to.
A congressional aide asks an Alabama congressman how he wants to proceed with the abortion bill
the congressman responds ,"Shhh... I said I would pay it!"
How do you congratulate a fighter after winning a match?
Good jab.
Congratulations! You successfully delivered that bell with no chips or chunks of it breaking off. Please see us to receive your...
No Bell Piece Prize
Congratulations to Ukraine to winning the Eurovision Song Contest.
Can't wait for Russia to host it next year.
Why do Congo gamers refuse to play with Belgians?
They're afraid of getting owned
Congratulations. You're 18.
On a list of 20 people that I want to kill.
Congratulations West Ham
The only club named after two things that ISIS hate.
I went as a congressional bill for Halloween....
I stayed in the House and didn't do anything.
A congressman was walking down the street
A congressman was walking down the street when suddenly a thief jumps in front of him. The thief stuck a pistol in a man's ribs and said, Give me your money. The gentleman, shocked by the sudden attack, said You cannot do this, I'm a United States congressman! The thief said, In that case, give me my money!
Congrats Amy Winehouse
on being 5 years sober
Congratulations USA
We have officially gone black and gone back.
In congested traffic, it's best to stay on the right side of the road.
It'd be a real tragedy if you were on the wrong side.
What do you get when you cross a female driver with the Viet Cong?
100,000 senseless deaths
Congrats to Ohio State, you didn't have the worst performance of the evening...
...Mariah Carey's got your back.
How do you congratulate a Jewish bodybuilder?
Muscle Tov!
Congrats to Whitney Houston
Four Years drug-free
Congratulations to Tom Brady, the first player to be undefeated over 5+ Super Bowls.
He's won all 5/7.
Congrats to Gaston on his award!
The No-Belle Prize.
Congressmen don't have sex
They just mass debate.
Congrats to the National Gallery on receiving a substantial donation of French Impressionist and Eastern European artwork.
Which is to say ... they're getting Monet for nothing and the Czechs for free.
What does Congress do when they lose a game of CSGO?
They blame the Russians.
How do you congratulate a slice of bread on his wedding day?
Toast him
Congratulations to my wife!
who reached a new culinary milestone today by setting off the neighbors' smoke alarm!
Congress has finally made a decision and just announced that if Roy Moore wins the senate...
They will be ending their 'take your daughter to work' program.
Congress is shutting the government down
But have they tried turning it back on?
How many congressmen does it take to change a lightbulb?
Doesn't really matter, they forgot to pass the electricity bill again.
I wish our Congress was made up of vending machines
So they would accept change
Why will Congress never impeach Trump?
Republicans insist on carrying a baby to full term, even if it was a drastic accident.
Congress announced today they would be removing all crime lab budgets from the state of Alabama
Because crimes can't be solved there since everyone has the same DNA and there are no dental records.
On a faraway island lived a solitary genius
On a tribal island, far far away from here, lived a man called Cong Clu. Mr. Clu was a physicist, and had lately taken a liking to particle physics.
His research, however, was disturbed quite a lot, by the strong magnetic flow from the ferrous rocks, that the island was made up of, and in the end he had to give up..
It simply proved too hard to draw Cong Clu's Ions from the experiments.
If you're over 25, congrats!
You have outlived every cat and dog that was alive at the time of your birth.
Congrats! You're on the new game show, Serbia or Suburbia!
Contestant #1, who drinks vodka immediately when they get off work, because their country is falling apart?
Congrats Mac Miller!
1 week sober!
How many congressmen does it take to run a government?
This post is government funded, please check back after the shutdown has ended and funding has resumed.
How is a congressman and a dog similar?
When you ask them to speak they will, but it doesn't mean anything.
I'd like to congratulate the inventor of the wobbly table
He must be successful with them being in every restaurant and cafe
Congratulations Tony Romo.
For finally making it to the Super Bowl.
Congrats to the Patriots on their 7th ring,
Super Bowls XXXVI (2001), XXXVIII (2003), XXXIX (2004), XLIX (2014), LI (2016), LIII (2018), Prostitution Ring (2019)!
Calories are just like the Viet Cong
Even if you burn them, they come back
Congratulations to the class of 2020
You are the first class that will have a 100% participation in the annual senior skip day championship.
Congratulations 2020 graduating class
Reigning senior skip day champions!
Congratulations, your ears hang as low as an Amish person's.
But can you tie a Mennonite?
Congratulations, you made it through 6 month of 2020!
3 more to go!
Congratulations America. 51 years ago you landed on the moon!!!
Now you can't even go to Canada.
Congratulations on winning most secretive person in the office
I can't tell you what this means to me
Congratulations to the obvious winner of last night's debate...
The voyager space probe hurtling away from our solar system at over 35k mph!
Congratulations to Donald J. Trump for winning
the silver medal in the 2020 U.S. Presidential race!
I'd like to congratulate Donald J Trump for winning
The silver medal in the 2020 presidential election.
If we want Congress to agree we should just replace the people with horses
Sure the neighs would carry every vote. But hay, at least the housing market would be stable.
I'll show myself out
Congratulations to me! I just made my last mortgage payment!
I still owe like $262,000, but I'm just not going pay them any more.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the cong clu jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working cong nam piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.