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Confused Jokes

109 confused jokes and hilarious confused puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about confused that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article explores the comedic element of confusion, taking a look at different types of confusion-based jokes. From the confusion of an ethnic identity to a woman's dazed and confused expression, these jokes are sure to make you chuckle in disbelief. Dive into the comedic side of confusion and have a good laugh!

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Funniest Confused Short Jokes

Short confused jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The confused humour may include short confusion jokes also.

  1. Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight... There would be mass confusion.
  2. As I was driving past a prison yesterday, I saw a dwarf scaling down the wall. Confused , I stared up at him and he sneered back. And I thought to myself, "well that's a little condescending."
  3. I got my covid test results and I'm so confused.. it was just the number 83... On the plus side my IQ test came back positive
  4. I was confused why there are so many stories about vampires in Europe, but not in Africa. Then I remembered that vampires are killed by holy water.
    They bless the rain down in Africa.
  5. When I visited Australia, the immigration officer asked me if I had a criminal record… Confused, I replied, Oh, is that still required?
  6. A little girl asks her grandad... "Would you make a frog noise for me?"
    The grandad, confused asks, "why?"
    The little girl replies, "dad says when you croak we are all going to disneyland".
  7. What are the worst three states to live? State of Despair. / State of Confusion. / State of poverty.
  8. I'm a scientist who's researching b**... between humans and dogs… If you'd like more details, I'll be in my lab…
  9. Dear Humans, You get mad at me when I work....You get mad at me when I don't work.
    Sincerely,
    Confused alarm clock.
  10. How do you confuse a feminist Tell her you won't let her make a sandwich for you because she is female

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Confused One Liners

Which confused one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with confused? I can suggest the ones about puzzled and perplexed.

  1. Iron Man is a very confusing character. I know he's a guy but he could've been Fe Male.
  2. Why do programmers get confused between halloween and Christmas? Because
    OCT 31 = DEC 25
  3. Her: Let's exchange numbers Me: Won't that confuse people who are trying to call us?
  4. Great wine is like great jazz... It confuses me and I'm pretty sure it's all the same.
  5. How do you confuse a gay person? Seven
  6. What do you call a group of confused Spanish speaking racists? The ¿Qué Qué Qué?
  7. Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs? So people don't confuse them with feminists.
  8. Why did Shakespeare write in ink? Pencils were confusing to him. 2B or not 2B?
  9. How do you confuse a feminist? Tell her you refuse to allow her to make you a sandwich.
  10. How do you confuse an Apple user? Give them options.
  11. How do you confuse a gay? 7
  12. I hate when people confuse "you're" and "your" There all idiots
  13. Bigfoot is sometimes confused with Sasquatch... Yeti never complains..
  14. I've just seen the most confusing book... Ventriloquism for Dummies
  15. Which color confuses an idiot? Blue

Confused Woman Jokes

Here is a list of funny confused woman jokes and even better confused woman puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • It says here on your resume that you were a m-misogynist? "Yes, I used to give massages."
    "OHH! I was confused because--"
    "Because you're a woman?"
  • Woman are so confusing nowadays. I thought opening the door would be the nice thing to do for a lady, but she just screamed and flew out the plane.
  • what did the white woman say to the other white woman who confused jay-z for lil wayne? thats ludacris
  • What's the difference between an expression of confusion and an underground German woman? One's a furrowed brow and the other is a burrowed Frau.
  • A woman is having a conversation with a man at her office. Woman: What is your idea of a perfect date?
    Man: MM/DD/YYYY, other formats can be really confusing.
  • I hate restaurants that have quirky and confusing ways of displaying men and woman bathroom signs. I mean, what am I?!? Am I a kitchen or an exit?
  • I dated a dyslexic woman for a while, and it was very confusing. Every time we went back to my place, she started cooking my sock.
  • Did you hear about the woman who confused her Vaseline with her putty? All her windows fell out.
  • If you want to confuse a woman, give her chocolate shoes. Milton Jones
  • A woman on Tinder asked me what my ideal date would be. I said dd/mm/yyyy because other formats are confusing.

Dazed And Confused Jokes

Here is a list of funny dazed and confused jokes and even better dazed and confused puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Freshmen girls... I keep getting older, but they stay the same age.
    Wooderson, *Dazed and Confused*
Confused joke, Freshmen girls...

Confused Meme Jokes

Here is a list of funny confused meme jokes and even better confused meme puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Confuse Why there are so many memes of world trade center?? That happened in November right??
Confused joke, Confuse

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about confused can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of confused puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Amusing Confused Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends

What funny jokes about confused you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean bewildered jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make confused prank.

I want to try translating an Iraqi joke to English and see if it works. A man is sitting in a cafe...

A man is sitting in a cafe when suddenly someone he knows comes running to him in panic shouting "Quick, your wife is cheating on you with your best friend in the forest". The man runs out of the cafe angry and furious to see for himself and returns after a short while and sits back down on his chair. The people in the cafe and the guy that told him are confused and ask what happened. The man says "this son of a b**... was just exaggerating, firstly, it was just a couple of trees he made it out like it was a forest, secondly, best friend he says?! It turns out I don't even know the guy". Thank you

I haven't had s**... since 1956

A woman asked an Army General when the last time he had made love to a woman. The general replied "1956, ma'am." The woman, in disbelief said "1956?! That long? Come with me and let me make your night better." The woman and general went back to her apartment and made passionate love for over an hour. Afterwards, the woman cuddled up to the general and said "Well, you sure haven't forgotten anything since 1956..." The general looked at her, confused, and replied "I sure hope not, it's only 2130 now."

A blonde mom is cooking dinner when her blonde daughter walks in

The daughter asks, "Mom, why do people think we blondes are s**...?"
Her mother replies, "I'll show you", and taps hard on the kitchen counter.
Somewhat confused, the blonde daughter says, "Someone's at the door!".
The blonde mother laughs. "This is why people think we're s**.... Now watch over the stove for me while I answer the door."

A man brings home flowers to his wife

A man brings some flowers home to his wife. She's so surprised by his romantic gesture that she lays back on the dining table, throws her legs in the air and spreads them.
Her husband confused looks down and goes "What's that for?"
His wife replies "For the flowers of course"
He thinks for a moment and asks "Don't we have a vase?"

I was driving with my dad when we passed a cemetery. My dad goes in a low, dark, creepy voice, "I know something about this cemetery that you don't. And I was like what is it? He continued, "The people living in this town can't be buried here. I was really confused so I asked why?

He rasped, "Cuz they're still alive!"

A Guy walks into a bar

A man walks into a bar and says, "Give me a beer before the problems start!" He drinks the beer and then orders another saying, "Give me a beer before the problems start!" The bartender looks confused. This goes on for a while, and after the fifth beer the bartender is totally confused and asks the man "When are you going to pay for these beers?" The man answers, "Now the problems start!"

A man walks into a brain store to buy a new brain

He goes to the clerk and says
"Hello, I'd like to purchase a new brain".
The clerk replies with "Sure, here are some of our brains we have on sale"
"Here's the brain of a physicist, 5 dollars."
"Here's our second deal for today. The brain of an anti-vaxxer, 10,000 dollars".
The man, completely confused, asks "Why is the brain of an anti-vaxxer more expensive than of a physicist?"
"Because it's never been used" The clerk replies.

A man goes to see a s**... therapist

"My problem is that my neighbor says he can do it six times a night, but I can do barely three"
"Please open your mouth," the therapist says.
The man, now confused, opens his mouth, and the doctor inspects it carefully.
"I see nothing wrong here, so you should be able to lie just like your neighbor."

Jesus walks into a restaurant...

And says to the Maitre'd "Table for 26 please"
Confused, the Maitre'd does a quick head count, and says "But there are only 13 of you."
Jesus replies "Yes, but we are all going to sit on the same side"

A man walks into a bar and asks for the bill

The bartender looks confused and tells the man he didn't order anything.
The man says I know, but I own the zoo down the street. I heard about the time a grizzly bear, elephant, monkey, tiger, alligator,... walked into a bar. I'm here to pay for the damages.

My daughter asked me today:"Dad, What is s**...?"

I had feared this moment would come and didn't think it would come this soon but nevertheless I was prepared.
So I sat her down and explained it all. The birds and the bees, the different s**... orientations, all the positions and of course I had to mention all the STD's and the rules of safe s**....
When I finished she looked at me shocked and confused:
"So... which box should I check on this form? Male or Female?"

What do Excel, incels and some people who casually eat figs have in common?

They get confused and incorrectly assume it's a date.


(Edit)
Thank you for the awards.



As people have pointed out, this joke seems to have originated from a venn diagram, but seeing as I heard it a different way and we can't post venn diagrams on this sub, I don't see what's wrong with sharing a good joke for others to enjoy. :/

My 3 year old daughter asked

My 3 year old daughter asked: Where does p**... come from?
I decided it was best to explain it at a level she would understand so I said: You just had breakfast?
Yes , she replied.
Well, the food goes in your mouth down into your tummy. Our body takes all the good stuff it needs out of the food and then what's left goes down to your bottom and when you go to the toilet that comes out as p**....
She looked confused and stared at me in stunned silence for a few seconds. Then asked: And Tigger?

An American, a Brit and a Mexican are sitting in a helicopter.

The Brit throws out a bag of tea, explaining to the confused others: "We have so much tea in England we can just throw it out!"
The Mexican proceeds by throwing a bag of peppers out, explaining "We have so much peppers in Mexico, we can just throw it out!"
The American proceeds to throw the Mexican out of the helicopter.
"Why did you do that?!" exclaimed the Brit.
The American turns around. "He killed my wife."

Little Billy comes home early from school, only to find his Dad m**... in the living room...

As Billy is quite young, he is shocked and confused at what he is seeing. His Dad tries to explain:
"Don't be scared, Billy. I'm not hurting myself, I'm doing something completely normal. In fact, you are going to start doing it pretty soon as well."
"Why is that, Dad?", young Billy asks.
"Because, son, my hand is getting tired and I need someone to take over."

Two Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident.

A woman is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says Two Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident.

The woman starts crying to her husband, sobbing That's horrible!!! So many men dying that way!
Confused, he says, Yes dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving, and there is always that risk involved.

After a few minutes, the woman, still sobbing, asks, How many is a Brazilian?

A guy walks into a bar and sees that there are dozens of cuts of meat hanging from the ceiling.

Confused, he asks the bartender why this is.
Well, it's a promotion we are running. If you can jump up and grab one, you get a free New York s**... dinner, on us! But, if you attempt to do so and miss, you gotta buy one for every person here instead.
The guy takes a moment to scan the bar, counting up the number of patrons in his head, before turning to the bartender and replying
Ah, no thanks. The steaks are too high.
———
Shout out to my dad for telling me this joke dozens of times throughout my life. It never fails to get a laugh outta a new crowd. Thanks Joe, you da best.

Taste the soup

A guy eating in a restaurant calls the waiter.
-Please taste the soup.

The confused waiter asks:
-Is the soup too hot?
-Just taste the soup...
-Is the soup too cold?
-Taste the soup.
-Is there a fly in the soup?
-Taste the soup!
The waiter, tired of guessing, gives up.
-Alright, alright, I'll taste the soup. Where's the spoon?
-Aha!

Wine

A gal walks into a bar and orders a bottle of wine. After she downs most of the bottle she tries to get the bartender's attention. "I used to be grapes!" she announces loudly. "What?" the confused bartender asks. "I'm sorry," she apologizes. "That must have been the wine talking."

So a cowboy parks his horse at the saloon, ties him to the outside, kisses him on the a**..., and walks in to have a stiff drink.

The bar keeper saw this happen, and he just had to ask. "Why'd ya kiss your horse on the a**... before coming in? You got s**... all over your lips!" The cowboy, cool as can be, takes a stiff drink before answering. "It's 'cuz I got chapped lips." The bartender was even more confused; "Horse manure helps with chapped lips?"
"Nah," says the cowboy. "But it keeps me from lickin' 'em"

A man walks into a bakery with a 25lb haddock under his arm.

He asks the baker, "do you make fish cakes?".
The slightly confused baker replies that they don't.
"That's a shame", replies the man. "It's his birthday today".

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.

She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton-b**... and a ball of string on the counter.
The sales girl says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?"
He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's so much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own... so does she."

A blonde woman is speeding down an empty road when she's pulled over by a blonde cop. The cop walks up to her window and asks for her driver's license.

Driver's license? the blonde driver asks, somewhat confused.
You know, the little rectangle with your face on it that you keep in your purse, the blonde cop explains patiently.
Oh, that! the blonde driver exclaims. She digs around in her purse and finally pulls out a small rectangular mirror, which she hands to the blonde cop.
The blonde cop looks at the mirror and exclaims, Oh, I'm sorry, ma'am, you're free to go…I didn't realize you were a cop!

When Noah reached land, he threw open the ark doors and said, "Go forth and multiply".

When all the animals cleared out, only a pair of confused looking snakes remained.
"Didn't you hear me? Go forth and multiply!" Said Noah, annoyed.
"We can't" replied one of the snakes. "We're adders".

A man is at a doctor's office about to have his prostate checked.

The doctor says "Okay, Steve, let's not get an e**... again during the procedure." The man looks at the doctor confused, and says "My name isn't Steve, it's Dave." The doctor says "I know. I'm Steve."

I came out as bikesexual today

My parents were really confused so I had to back pedal to explain

So I walked into a s**... shop the other day...

Me: I'm looking for a blow up doll
Manager: Great, we have plenty! What gender?
Me: I'd like a female.
Manager: Awesome, and would you like the doll to be Christian, Protestant, or Muslim?
Me: (confused) Why does the religion matter? What's the difference?
Manager: Well, there really is none between the Christian and Protestant. However, the Muslim will blow itself up.

President Joe Biden announced that he would give a free bottle of Bud Light to anyone who got a vaccine.

Not to be outdone, the next day, the President Obrador of Mexico announced that he would give a bottle of Corona to anyone who got a vaccine.
The day after, the President Higgins of Ireland announced that he'd be giving out free bottles of water.
Biden and Obrador were confused and gave the Irish President a Zoom call. "We kinda expected you to give out free Guiness, being from Ireland and all"
The Irish President replied: "Well, if you guys aren't giving out beer, then neither am I."

My dad's joke was you know, I was named after Abraham Lincoln. (person is confused since his name was Jim.)

He then responds, We'll, I wasn't named before him!

A horse walks into a bar

And orders a beer. The bartender looks confused but pours him a cold one:
- That'll be $25.
The horse opens his wallet, pays and start drinking. The bartender is still in awe and says:
- You see, we don't really have many horses coming in here.
To which the horse replies:
- With prices like these, I'm not surprised.

My dad and i were driving past a cemetery

When suddenly my dad said in a serious toned voice
"I know something you don't know about this place.The people living in this town aren't allowed to be buried in here"
And i was really confused so i asked why and he said
"Because they are still alive."
Original: tumblr user @hello.

Person 1 says: I like Eminem

Person 2 says: Well, I prefer Skittles.
Person 1 says: No- I meant the rapper.
Person 2 says, confused: Why would you eat the wrapper?

Two women are discussing their love lives

Jo says: "I have to be careful not to get pregnant."
Jenny looks confused. "But I thought Tony recently had a vasectomy."
"He did." says Jo. "That's why I need to be extra careful."

A confused chinese student asks his master: "Master s**..., why do all chinese look the same?"

Then the Master replyed: "I am not master s**...."

A little boy goes up to his pregnant mum, points at her fat belly and says, what's that?

She says… (a bit startled…) erm… that's a baby your daddy gave me that…
So the little boy walks off to find his dad with a confused look on his face…
daddy did you give mummy a baby ?
yeh I did son, that's right why do you ask…?
well don't give her another, she ate the last one!

A man walks into a bar and sees h**... and Stalin.

A man walks into a bar and sees h**... and Stalin at a table. He asks them what they were doing and was told that they were planning WW3.
h**... says, "We are going to kill 15 million jews, and a bicycle repairman."
The man, confused asks, "Why the bicycle repairman?"
h**... turns to Stalin and tells him, "See? I told you no one would care about the 15 million Jews!"

Daddy, what's it like being drunk?

A little girl goes up to her dad and asks "Daddy, what does it feel like being drunk?" "Well," the father replies "You see those 2 telephone poles over there in the distance?" he says, pointing in the direction of the poles. "A drunk person would see 4 telephone poles there." The little girl, confused, replies "But daddy, there is only one telephone pole over there"

I always get Halloween and Valentine's Day confused.

They're both about candy and being something you're not.

A man walks into a fish & chip shop to order the evening meal.

He asks for two cod & chips.
Owner: Apologies, we don't have any cod.
Man: Ok… I'll have two cod & chips then.
Owner (slightly irritated): Sorry, we haven't got any cod, like I said.
Man: Sorry, sorry!… I'll just have two cod & chips then.
Owner (now irate): Look mate, we've got no cod! C-O-F-D COD!!
Man (confused): There is no F in cod.
Owner: That's what I've been trying to tell you!!

A koala bear walks into a brothel picks out the best looking girl and heads upstairs with her.

While up there he eats her out like a madman doing things she's never even heard of.
After about an hour he gets up heads out the door.
The girl stops him and demands payment.
The bear doesn't understand. She has him look up p**... in the dictionary, a person who trades s**... for money. Still a little confused he asks what does it say about me.
Koala bear, an Australian native animal that eats bushes and leaves.

I got my Covid test results back today.

It said "50"... what does that even mean?!
Also, my IQ test came back positive.
I'm so confused.

Little Johnny goes to his grandfather and asks him to croak like a frog.

"Why, sure Johnny. *Croak*", says grandfather.
"Yaaaaay", exclaimed Johnny. Confused, grandfather asks what's so exciting.
"Papa says we're going to be rich when you croak!", replies johnny.

A businessman is at the office.

He was confused about a bill he had received, so he asked his secretary for some mathematical help. "If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off? " he asked her.
The secretary replied, "Everything but my earrings. "

Eyes

Two men are sitting in a bar, talking to eachother. One asks the other if he ever looks his wife in the eyes while making love. "I did once" the other responds, "But I saw a lot of anger in her eyes". The first, looking confused: "Why was that?"
"Because she was looking from outside through the window!"

Should've been more specific

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really p**....
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Bob has been missing since Friday.

So, a bear walks into a bar.

The barkeep says, "What'll it be, sir?"
The bear replies,"I'll have a .. ... .... ..r**... and Coke."
to which the barkeep asks,"What's with the big pause?"
The bear looks down a bit confused and answers, "I dunno, I guess I was born with them?"

My mother died a few years ago. I recently came across her death certificate and had a brilliant idea!

"I know how we can bring mom back!" I exclaimed. "Get me a Sharpie!"
My sister, looked at me confused, "Why?"
I pointed to the border of the certificate, "It says 'void if altered'!"

(This actually happened and my sister didn't find it very funny. But we each deal with grief our own ways...)

A Vampire walks into a bar...

A vampire walks into a bar and takes a seat at the bar. When the bartender asks what he'll have to drink the vampire replies, "a glass of hot water." The bartender a bit confused asks, "I thought you vampires drank blood?" The vampire proceeds to pull out a used t**... and replies, "I'm having tea."

A man goes to jail.

A man was sentenced to death. By tradition, the man can request one last meal
"So what will it Be?" the executioner asked
"Instead of food, can I request to sing one last song? But you must let me finish the song"
Confused by this, the executioner agreed to let the man sing
The man begins "1,000,000 bottles of beer on the wall..."

A blonde and her boyfriend went to the movies

In the film, the main character is running through the storm so she says, "I bet you £20, that they don't get struck by lightning."
And her boyfriend agrees.

20 seconds later the main character is stuck by lightning and the blonde looks confused and gets £20 to give.


Her boyfriend said "I can't take this, I have seen the movie before."
She replies, "So have I but I didn't think lightning would strike twice in the same place!"

Lemonade

A man stumbles upon a little girl's lemonade stand and asks, "How much for a glass?" "First one's twenty-five cents," she responds. He hands her the money, downs the lemonade, and asks for another. "The second cup is twenty-five dollars", she states. Confused, the man asks, "Why?"
"This one has the antidote."

A man walks into a bank and approaches the counter.

He yells "This is a f**...-up!"
Confused the bank teller asks "Don't you mean stick-up?"
The man scuffs his shoes on the carpet and says "No, I've left my gun at home.

Georgia joke

The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.

He called her into his office and said, "Y'all graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help. If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"

The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everthang but my earrings."

A sheepdog

.... gets all the sheep in the pen, he reports back to the farmer:
*"All 40 accounted for"*
*"But I only have 36 sheep"* says the confused farmer
*"Yeah I know"* says the sheepdog. *"I rounded them up".*

I stopped at a coffee shop in Glasgow

When I approached the barista, I ordered a latte with oat milk.
Stunned and confused, the barista tells me, we cannae make a latte withoat milk

My granma got my granpa a new pair of pants. When I asked him how they fit, he said, "like a cheap castle".

When I looked confused, he explained, "no ballroom"

Businessman

Businessman walks into a motel/brothel. Ask the lady working the front desk...I'd like a room and for an extra $500, I want your oldest, fattest, meanest, boring in bed woman and a bologna sandwich.
The receptionist looks at him confused and says for that price we could get you our youngest, kindest, skinniest, kinkiest girl and a steak dinner with all the trimmings.
The man replys ma'am you don't understand me...I'm homesick.

I was named after Abraham Lincoln.

People get confused because my name is Kyle Blankinship.
But like I said, I was named after Abraham Lincoln; Not before..

A soldier was given the job of hunting for buffalo...

To help him, he hired a Native American scout.
The two of them set off on their journey to find buffalo.
After riding awhile, the scout gets off his horse, puts his ear to the ground and says "Hmmm, buffalo come."
The soldier scans the area with his binoculars, but sees nothing.
He is confused and says to the scout, "I do not see anything, how do you know buffalo come?"
The scout replies, "Ear sticky".

A patient walks into an optometrist's office.

The optometrist starts the eye exam and casually asks her if there's any particular reason she came in for a checkup.
"Doctor, I think am having hallucinations. Every time I open my eyes, I see really dark things. Evil. Malice. Hatred. Plague. I am seeing the worst in everything. Nothing looks like it used to. It's as if everything I see is shrouded in darkness."
The optometrist sits back from the patient, confused.
"That's interesting," he said, "because from what I can tell, you see 20/20."

At first I was confused when my boss told me to go get the Geiger counter…

…but then it clicked.

A woman walks into a tattoo parlor.

Asking the man in charge to put a picture of a turkey saying "Happy Thanksgiving!" on one thigh and a picture of Santa saying "Merry Christmas!" on the other. The man looked confused by her odd request, so he asked her why. She calmly looked at him and replied without even a stutter. "My husband always complains that there's nothing good to eat between Christmas and Thanksgiving."

Last night my son came out as transgender, ftm.

He asked if I was mad and I said absolutely not but I am a little worried. He looked confused and asked why. I said, well, I'm worried everyone will see right through me bc I am now *transparent*

I am a little confused as to why everyone keeps giving me LEGOs for my birthday.

I don't know what to make of it.

I walked into the doctor's office one day.

"It appears that you are severely depressed, so I reccomend you take some medication for this..." the doctor told me, writing something down.
I asked, "How much longer do I have to live?"
Confused, the doctor replied "Sir, besides depression, you're actually very healthy."
I asked again "I know, but how much longer do I *have* to live?"

Bob was in trouble

He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

A dog goes into a telegraph office

A dog goes into a telegraph office, takes a blank form, and writes: Woof Woof. Woof Woof. Woof Woof. Woof Woof, Woof.
The clerk examines the paper and politely tells the dog: There are only nine words here. You could send another 'Woof' for the same price.
The dog looks confused and replies, But that would make no sense at all."

DmX meets Prince Phillip at the pearly gates

DMX meets Prince Phillip at the Pearly Gates after DMX dies at 50 years old.
Prince Phillip scoffs at him. "50?!".
DMX says "Nah man, you got me confused with that other rapper."

A man asks his doctor

"Doctor, Doctor! I ate one of those 'Do not eat' packages! Am I going to die now???"
The doctor, a bit confused, responds: "...well, everyone is going to die eventually."
Man: "EVERYONE? Oh my god, what have I done..."

Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin meet with guests at the White House

One of the guests asks: Mister President, what are you talking about with president Putin? – We are planning World War III.' - 'And what does it look like?' – Trump: We will kill 4 million Muslims and a dentist... The guest looks a bit confused: Why a dentist? - Putin claps Trump on the back and says, What did I tell you, Donald? No one will ask about the Muslims.

Harry Potter woke up in a hospital.

A little confused he asked "where am I?"
Doctor: "why you were in a coma and just awoke in this fine hospital"
"Why am I in a muggle Hospital?" he mumbled to himself
slightly hearing him the doctor spoke " Son, Take it easy, you ran face first into a wall and have been in a coma for 8 years"

Polish, Ukrainian and Russian babies get mixed up in the hospital

Now, parents are trying to figure out which baby belongs to which parent.
Ukrainian decides to go first and yells "Slava Ukraini!"
One baby immediately jumps up and pulls into the attention position.
Ukrainian knows that's their baby and picks it up.
Polish takes the second baby and Russian looks completely confused.
"How did you know the second baby is yours?" asks the Russian.
"The one who smiled when Ukrainian yelled is mine" Polish answered, "but the one who wetted the nursing bed, is yours."

Confused joke, Polish, Ukrainian and Russian babies get mixed up in the hospital

jokes about confused

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these confused jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.