Confuse Jokes

Following is our collection of terrify puns and asain one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Confuse jokes for adults, dirty colourblind jokes and clean ethnic confusion dad gags for kids.

The Best Confuse Puns

I was confused why there are so many stories about vampires in Europe, but not in Africa.

Then I remembered that vampires are killed by holy water.

They bless the rains down in Africa.

Her: Let's exchange numbers

Me: Won't that confuse people who are trying to call us?

How do you confuse a gay person?

Seven

How do you confuse a feminist

Tell her you won't let her make a sandwich for you because she is female

Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?

So people don't confuse them with feminists.


Do you know how to confuse a coal miner?

Show him a row of shovels and tell him to take his pick.

A confused chinese student asks his master: "Master Shi, why do all chinese look the same?"

Then the Master replyed: "I am not master Shi."

People who confuse etymology and entomology bug me in a way I can't put into words

thank you for making my day, u/happy_guy23

A lawyer named Strange died.

His friends asked the tombstone inscriber to write "Here lies Strange, an honest man and a lawyer" on the headstone. The inscriber suggested this would confuse people, who would think three men were buried there. He suggested "Here lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer." "Whenever anyone walks by," he explained "they'll be certain to remark, 'That's Strange.'"

How do you confuse a feminist?

Tell her you refuse to allow her to make you a sandwich.

How do you confuse an Apple user?

Give them options.


How do you confuse a gay?

7

I hate when people confuse "you're" and "your"

There all idiots

I am a little confused as to why everyone keeps giving me LEGOs for my birthday.

I don't know what to make of it.

How do you confuse a gay person ?

Five

It confuses me why people feel comfortable with government surveillance as they have nothing to hide, so nothing to fear ....

….but get really scared when I ask them to take their clothes off.

Why do engineers confuse Halloween and Christmas

Because Oct 31 = Dec 25

Why do computer programmers confuse Halloween with Christmas?

Because Oct31 = Dec25

How do you confuse a panda?

You bamboo-zle it.


Never confuse a Kiwi with an Aussie.

One's a soft, hairy fruit and the other's a Kiwi!

What does a confused student at Hogwarts study?

Which craft?

How do you confuse a feminist?

Tell her that she is not allowed to make you a sandwich.

Eurovision must confuse alot of Americans

Because the one with the most votes wins

How do you confuse a Jew?

Put the bacon on sale for half-off.

I was confused when I saw that my friend's flower bed was alive and blooming.

"Didn't your poppies die last week?" I asked. "They're not poppies" he said, "They're rein-carnations".

Why do computer scientists confuse halloween with christmas?

Because

Oct 31 = Dec 25

I'm confused. My professor told me Nietzsche was 'an atheist who worshiped at the altar of nihilism'.

Is nothing sacred?

How do you confuse a drummer?

Give him sheet music

I used to confuse penises and testicles...

But then I realized there is a vas deferens between them.

How do you confuse an idiot?

With 6 potatoes!

How do you confuse a gay?

Seven

How do you confuse a gay person?

Raccoon.

Why do chickens lay eggs?

To confuse philosophers.

As a politician...

You need to shake hands & kiss babies...

...and take good care not to confuse the two.

How do you confuse a Daily Mail reader?

Tell him that asylum seekers kill pedophiles.

My English teacher constantly makes fun of me because I confuse my prepositions.

He's always rubbing it out.

Really stupid math joke

What do mathematicians confuse Halloween and Christmas?

Because Dec 25 = Oct 31

How do you confuse a paleontologist?

Give him a used tampon and ask him what period it came from.

Don't get confused between the testes and the urethra.

There's a vas deferens between them.

Don't confuse your Google search with my computer scienc--

-- actually, never mind. It amounts to the same thing.

Why did the confused coke-head join the klan?

He thought they were saying "White Powder"

How do you confuse Helen Keller?

You tell her to read a basketball.

Why did the flower with no smell confuse people?

Because it didn't make any scents!!


.


.

.

.

Get it..scents sounds like sense...sort of..so it's funny because the.. okay I'm sorry I'll just see myself out.

I hate it when people confuse reality with metaphors...

It makes my head literally explode!

I'm confused on what you need to enter a store or restaurant nowadays....

... is it a face mask or a brick?

Why do programmers confuse Halloween and Christmas?

Because Oct 31 = Dec 25

I'm confused.

Do I need a mask or a brick to enter a store?

Could anyone explain the joke that was told to me?

How do you confuse an alcoholic?



32.

How do you confuse a blonde?

Paint yourself green and throw forks at her while reciting the alphabet backwards

I was confused about how to use a Geiger counter

But then one day it just clicked

I don't want to die a virgin...

... it would really confuse my kids.

What confuses an idiot?

Seven

Little Mikey

A five-year-old Mikey asks his Grandpa, Grandpa, what do you call it when there are two people on top of each other in bed?
-
The Grandpa feels very uncomfortable but decides not to confuse the child and bravely says, That's intercourse, my boy.
-
OK, nods Mikey and off he goes.
-
He comes back after five minutes and says, Grandpa, that's not right. I've just spoken to mom and she said that it's not called intercourse but a bunk bed!

I confused a tube of super glue with a tube of lube

It was horrible. My model airplane kept slipping apart.

How do you confuse a Polish labourer?

Lay down an axe and a shovel and tell him to take his pick.

What's the diffrence between a...

What's the difference between a hockey player and a feminist?
After three periods the hockey player takes a shower.

How do you confuse a feminist?
Tell her that you refuse to allow her to make you a sandwich.

Have you seen the videos in which people confuse their pets by disappearing unexpectedly?

I'm sick of that sheet.

New Yorkers confuse me...

Half of them keep saying "fuhgeddaboudit" but the rest of them keep saying "Never forget".

Anheuser Busch is using a Georgia brewery to can water for flood victims in Oklahoma and Texas

They're labeling very clearly so people don't confuse it with Bud Light

Why was everyone confused when a crab walked straight into the bar?

Because crabs only walk sideways.

I'm really confused by the fact people judge me for refusing to pay for Netflix...

I mean, I've seen Stranger Things.

Rhetorical questions confuse me

If someone asks you something, you're supposed to answer them, right?

Math joke: Why do so many math majors confuse Halloween and Christmas?

Because Oct 31 is Dec 25

The amount of people who confuse to and to..

Is amazing two me.

How to confuse a waitperson.

I'm not having what she's not having.

I think the people who confuse defiantly and definitely...

...are defiantly doing it on purpose.

What question would confuse a transsexual who used to be a woman?

"Have you ever been abroad?"

How do you confuse Hellen Keller?

step on her books with golf shoes

How do you confuse a girl?

Buy her a pair of chocolate shoes

How do you confuse a blind person?

Toss them a basketball and ask them to read it.

How do you REALLY confuse a gay person?

Eight.

How do you confuse a complete idiot ?

32

I'm Asian, and we confuse our l's and r's.

That's just how we lorr.

There is an abundance of keller jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 73 funniest jokes and confuse puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any ehh witze you can hear about confuse.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes