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Confucius Sayings Jokes

83 confucius sayings jokes and hilarious confucius sayings puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about confucius sayings that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Confucius Sayings Short Jokes

Short confucius sayings jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The confucius sayings humour may include short confucius say jokes also.

  1. Let's hear some Confucius Jokes I'll start
    Confucius says woman that keeps soap on top shelf will jump for joy.
  2. Confucius Say Confucius say: Man who run behind bus get exhausted. Man who run in front of bus get tired.
  3. What would Confucius say about errors made in elevators? He who makes a mistake in an elevator is wrong on many levels.
  4. Muhammed, Confucius, and Buddha walk into a bar The bartender spots them and says "aw, Christ!"
    Muhammed says, "nah, it's Saturday, Jesus don't drink on the Sabbath."
  5. Confucius say: Man who hurts another gets charged with battery. Man who kills another gets charged with electricity.
  6. I heard this pitiful joke when I was a teen. Confucius say, woman who fly upside down have crack up.
  7. Confucius say: Man who jump off bridge in Paris is in-Seine.
  8. The Confucius saying: Marriage like poker. You start with pair and end with full house.
  9. Ouch, that smarts Confucius say, man who go through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
  10. Confucius say 7 days of honeymoon make one whole week.

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Confucius Sayings One Liners

Which confucius sayings one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with confucius sayings? I can suggest the ones about wise man once said and a wise man once said.

  1. Confucius say man who run in front of car... ...get tired.
  2. Confucius say: Man who go through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
  3. Confucius say..... Confucius say man drunk in cemetery make grave mistakes
  4. Confucius say, piano falls down mineshaft... Get tone of A Flat Miner.
  5. Confucius says... it takes many nails to build a crib but one screw to fill it.
  6. Confucius say to quiet the herd One must shut the flock up
  7. Confucius say man who run behind car... ...get exhausted.
  8. Confucius says: Woman who sleeps with judge..... receives honorable discharge
  9. Confucius say... Confucius say man with beard face rough time!
  10. Confucius say, many hand make for light work, But one hand make for quick job.
  11. Confucius say, man who have no helping hands get defeat!
  12. Confucius say... man who jump off cliff, jump to conclusion.
  13. Confucius say "Man who stand on toilet..." Forgot his stool
  14. Confucius say, Man who pull out too fast, leaves rubber behind.
  15. Confucius say... Man who walks everyday barefoot will have a tough sole

Confucius Sayings Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter

What funny jokes about confucius sayings you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean wisdom jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make confucius sayings pranks.

Confucius says Love one another. If it doesn't work, just interchange the last two words.

Let's hear best "Confucius Say" jokes you got

My first Confucius Say joke was this:
>Confucius Says...Crowded Elevator Smell Different to Midget
Today while shaving in the shower I came up with this one
>Confucius Says...Man who shave n**... with straight razor will not have a ball

Confucius say, man who sits on top of toilet,

is high on p**...

Confucius say, man who f**... in church.

Sit in own pew.

confucius say when you take old h**... to all you can eat seafood

you walk away with a big bag of c**...

Confucius say..

Man who stand on toilet bowl, high on p**....

Confucius say, "woman with dress up run faster than man with pants down."

It's true. Do the math.

Confucius say...

Man who go to bed with s**... in mind, wake up with solution in hand.

Confucius say: Man who is outstanding in rain dance will be out standing in rain.

Confucius say...

Man with hole in pocket feel c**... all day.

Confucius say.......

........woman who fly in plane upside down, crack up.

Confucius Say

It is only when a mosquito lands on your t**... that you realize there is always a way to solve a problem without violence.

Confucius say

man who at night have scratchy bottom have at morning smelly fingers

Confucius say

Man is like spider, bound to have sticky hand after being on web.

Confucius doctor say

to have patient you must be patient

Confucius say... Walking barefoot toughens the soul

Confucius says: "Woman who fly upside in airplane have open cockpit."

Confucius say, "Man who can put bait on hook well...

...is a master baiter."

Confucius say, "Happy wife lead to soft hands...

Unhappy wife lead to softer hands."

Confucius say

Woman with big balloons has high rise accommodation.

Confucius say

Man high on s**... use cherry picker

Confucius says

Man entering airport door sideways bound to Bangkok

On s**..., Confucius say:

"Couple who have s**... on side of hill, not level"

Confucius say... French girl high maintenance.

Chinese girl Lo Mein-tenance.

Confucius say...

...s**... on beach is like American beer, very near water.

Confucius say priest who preach atop mountain

often take moral high ground.

Confucius say

He who don't like Pumpernickel is Black Toast Intolerant.

Confucius Say....

Confucius Say ... Man entering a turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.

Confucius says....

Man who sleep with itchy bottom, wake up with sticky finger

Confucius say: Man who tie knot...

Soon looking for scissors.

Confucius say: "Women who do not wear underwear . . .

. . . never get their p**... in a bunch."

Confucius say, Athletic finger...

Make broad jump.

Confucius say: p**... not best thing in world...

...but next to it.

Confucius says: Man who sits on sharp tack...

better off.

Confucius say, "Man with hand in right pocket feel c**...."

Confucius Say

Man who argues with wife beats only meat

Confucius Says:

Woman who flies airplane upside down has n**... crack up.

Confucius say, he who wear mask alone in car

also wear c**... alone in bed.

Man asks Confucius: If a man washes his a**..., is he gay?

Confucius say: A man who cleans his house clearly expects a visitor.

Confucius say...

...n**... man running through revolving door at airport very likely going to Bangkok.

A summary of the world's religions

Catholicism: s**... happens.
Protestantism: Let this s**... happen to someone else.
Judaism: Why does this s**... always happen to us?
Hinduism: This s**... has happened before.
Confucianism: Confucius says "s**... happens"
Rastafarianism: Let's roll up this s**... and smoke it.

Please add your own.

Confucius say: Man who f**... in church...

Confucius say:
Man who f**... in church, sit in his own pew.

Confucius say: There is no half-empty beer bottle...

...only half-full p**... bottle

jokes about confucius sayings