Confucius Jokes

Funniest Confucius Short Jokes

Short confucius jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The confucius humour may include short skydiver jokes also.

1. Let's hear some Confucius Jokes I'll start
   Confucius says woman that keeps soap on top shelf will jump for joy.
2. Confucius Say Confucius say: Man who run behind bus get exhausted. Man who run in front of bus get tired.
3. Confucius once said... "Buy a man an airplane ticket, and he flies for a day. Throw a man out of a flying plane, and he flies for the rest of his life."
4. What would Confucius say about errors made in elevators? He who makes a mistake in an elevator is wrong on many levels.
5. Muhammed, Confucius, and Buddha walk into a bar The bartender spots them and says "aw, Christ!"
   Muhammed says, "nah, it's Saturday, Jesus don't drink on the Sabbath."
6. Confucius say: Man who hurts another gets charged with battery. Man who kills another gets charged with electricity.
7. I heard this pitiful joke when I was a teen. Confucius say, woman who fly upside down have crack up.
8. Confucius say, Man who pull out too fast, leaves rubber behind.
9. Confucius say... Man who walks everyday barefoot will have a tough sole
10. Confucius say: Man who jump off bridge in Paris is in-Seine.

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Confucius One Liners

Which confucius one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with confucius? I can suggest the ones about philosopher and confucius sayings.

1. Confucius say man who run in front of car... ...get tired.
2. Confucius say: Man who go through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
3. Confucius say..... Confucius say man drunk in cemetery make grave mistakes
4. Confucius said, it's better... to park meat in girl than meet girl in park
5. Confucius say, piano falls down mineshaft... Get tone of A Flat Miner.
6. Confucius says... it takes many nails to build a crib but one screw to fill it.
7. Confucius say to quiet the herd One must shut the flock up
8. Confucius say man who run behind car... ...get exhausted.
9. Confucius says: Woman who sleeps with judge..... receives honorable discharge
10. Confucius say... Confucius say man with beard face rough time!
11. Confucius say, many hand make for light work, But one hand make for quick job.
12. I don't understand chinese philosophy. It Confucius me.
13. Confucius say, man who have no helping hands get defeat!
14. Confucius say... man who jump off cliff, jump to conclusion.
15. Confucius say "Man who stand on toilet..." Forgot his stool

Confucius Say Jokes

Here is a list of funny confucius say jokes and even better confucius say puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• The Confucius saying: Marriage like poker. You start with pair and end with full house.
• Ouch, that smarts Confucius say, man who go through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
• Confucius say 7 days of honeymoon make one whole week.
• Confucius say: Man who tie knot... Soon looking for scissors.
• Confucius say....... ........woman who fly in plane upside down, crack up.
• Confucius say, Athletic finger... Make broad jump.
• Confucius says Man entering airport door sideways bound to Bangkok
• Confucius say, "Happy wife lead to soft hands... Unhappy wife lead to softer hands."
• Confucius say Man is like spider, bound to have sticky hand after being on web.
• Confucius says.... Man who sleep with itchy bottom, wake up with sticky finger

Confucius Sayings Jokes

Here is a list of funny confucius sayings jokes and even better confucius sayings puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Confucius say He who don't like Pumpernickel is Black Toast Intolerant.
• Confucius say Woman with big balloons has high rise accommodation.
• Confucius doctor say to have patient you must be patient
• Confucius says Love one another. If it doesn't work, just interchange the last two words.
• Confucius Say Man who argues with wife beats only meat
• Confucius says: Man who sits on sharp tack... better off.
• Confucius Say.... Confucius Say ... Man entering a turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
• Confucius say... He who laugh last thinks slowest.
  He who laughs first, *has dirtiest mind.*
• Confucius say priest who preach atop mountain often take moral high ground.
• Confucius say... French girl high maintenance. Chinese girl Lo Mein-tenance.

Confucius Day Jokes

Here is a list of funny confucius day jokes and even better confucius day puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Confucius say... Man with hole in pocket feel c**... all day.

Ridiculous Confucius Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter

What funny jokes about confucius you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean confucius say jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make confucius pranks.