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Confronts Jokes

31 confronts jokes and hilarious confronts puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about confronts that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Best Short Confronts Jokes

Short confronts jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The confronts humour may include short confronted jokes also.

  1. I gave a homeless guy $5 today I gave this homeless guy $5 and an old lady behind me told me he's just going to use it for drugs, so I confronted him and asked where I could also get drugs for $5
  2. A cop is confronted by a white guy with a gun and a black guy with a nerf bat. Who does he shoot first? The bystander with the camera.
  3. I saw my girlfriend with another guy at the mall. I was about to confront them but I managed to calm myself down. That wouldn't be a good example to set in front of my wife and kids.
  4. Protip: If you're looking for a needle in a haystack... ...you should probably be more concerned about confronting your horse concerning his drug problem
  5. So I came home today to find a homeless guy munching biscuits over my PC cabinet. When I confronted him he said he'd clear the cookies later.
  6. What's the first thing you should do when confronted by an evil spirit? Try to neghostiate.
  7. My next door neighbour just stole my gate and I want to confront him about it But I'm worried he might take a fence
  8. I don't know how to help my friend.... I don't know how to help my friend.... he's addicted to drinking brake fluid.


    When I confront him he just tells me he "can stop any time he wants."
  9. When Princess Meghan confronted Prince Harry about spending their wedding evening polishing his plate mail... Harry said, "What!? You told me, all you ever wanted was a night in, shining armour!"
  10. I caught a friend betting on a hospitalized children's limbo contest... When I confronted him, I asked, "HOW LOW CAN YOU GO?"

Quick Jump To


Confronts joke, I caught a friend betting on a hospitalized children's limbo contest...


Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about confronts can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of confronts puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Confronts One Liners

Which confronts one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with confronts? I can suggest the ones about faced and facing.

  1. I confronted a mime today. He did unspeakable things.
  2. Why did the vegan avoid the confrontation? He didn't want any beef.
  3. Why is the number 4 considered a pushover? Because 4 is two squared of confrontation.
  4. "I've never been good at dealing with confrontation." "Pardon?"
    "Nothing."
  5. Hugh Laurie was confronted by a police officer at his door. It was a House arrest.
  6. Whenever I confront the messy baker I'm always walking on eggshells.
  7. My roomate confronted me today suspicious that I had been stealing from her laundry.
  8. How do you laugh when escaping a confrontation with a redhead? ZEHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
  9. What does the Chinese Homer Simpson say when confronted by math? Tau!
  10. What do you call a confrontational mushroom? A s**...-talky mushroom.

Confronts joke, What do you call a confrontational mushroom?

Amusing Confronts Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends

What funny jokes about confronts you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean encounter jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make confronts prank.

Mom got a s**... change operation

After being unhappy for many years my mother came to me and said she was going to get a s**... change operation. I didn't fully understand but I was very supportive throughout the whole operation, then he came home.
That's when it all started, all the time all day long horrible dad jokes, terrible puns and all around just awful humor. After a few weeks and being fed up, I realized something and I confronted them.
"Did you seriously just have a s**... change operation just for the dad jokes?!" I asked.
He replied, "Oh you could see right through me, I must be so trans-parent."

After being elected President, Bernie Sanders confronted...

...General Keith B. Alexander (the head of the NSA) and asked him on what grounds he wanted to continue observing the American people's cell phone/internet communications.
The General sighed and shook his head. "Some men just want to watch the world, Bern."

Three burglars break into a building and are confronted by a soldier, a cop, and a politician.

The politician tells the soldier to kill Burglar #1, and the two stab each other to death.
The politician then tells the cop to arrest Burglar #2, and the two beat each other unconscious.
The politician then walks up to Burglar #3 and says "I just saved your life, your freedom, and tripled your share of the loot. I think 20% is a fair cut."

A woman walking down the city sidewalk with an adult lion is confronted by a police officer

He: "Lady, you must take that animal directly to the zoo!"
She: "I will do that right away, officer."
The next day, the officer is exasperated to see her and the lion walking down the sidewalk again.
He: "I told you to get that animal to the zoo!"
She: "That was yesterday. Today we are going to the beach."

A priest was confronted by a p**....

"Do want a q**... for ten bucks?"
Not knowing what it was, he said no. When he got back to the monastery, his curiosity got the better of him. So he asked a nun, "what's a q**...?"
The nun replied "Ten bucks same as in town."

A joke I was told by an old man I golfed with.

A man was at the bar with a couple of his neighbors. One of his friends says "Have you seen that new pool boy the Johnsons hired? I heard he's had his way with all the women in the neighborhood except one."
Worried, the man goes home and confronts his wife. "Honey I heard the new pool boy has had with every woman in the neighborhood except one, do you know anything about that?" She replies "hmm, I bet it's Betty, she's a real p**...."

A man walks into a bar and sees a large jar full of £20 notes and a large piece of meat hanging from the ceiling

He confronts the bartender about it, and he explains.
'You put your £20 note in the jar, and then you get 3 jumps where you can try and grab that beef on the ceiling. If you get it, you can keep it and all the money in the jar.'
The man thought about for the moment, shook his head regretfully, and said,
'Nah, the steaks are too high.'

Vladimir Putin confronts his speechwriter after giving a speech.

You said my speech would be 15 minutes long, but I had to speak for 45 minutes! Putin exclaims.
His speechwriter replies: Mr President, I gave you three copies.

A robber enters an old couple's home in the middle of the night...

As he is grabbing things, the couple wake up and confront him. The robber has a gun and says he would have left quietly but now he is gonna have to kill them.
"But before I do that," says the robber, "I want to know your names. What's your name, woman?"
"Linda," the wife replies meekly.
"Well, that's my mother's name. I can't kill you." Then he turns to the husband and says, "And what's your name?"
"Frank, but everybody in town calls me Linda."

A Mother found out her daughter is pregnant

A Mother found out her daughter is pregnant, she confronted her.


"How did this happen? I told you to take measures"


"I did took measures and went with the longest one."

After discovering her young daughter playing doctor with the neighbor's boy,

the angry mother grabbed the boy by the ear and dragged him to his house and confronted his mother. It's only natural for young boys and girls to explore their sexuality by playing doctor at their age, the neighbor said. Sexuality?! the mother yelled. He took out her appendix!

Paybacktime


A man left for work one Friday afternoon. But, being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire paycheck.
When he finally appeared at home, Sunday night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions. Finally his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him.
"How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?"
To which he replied. "That would be fine with me."
Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results. But on Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye

A man comes to the entrance of Heaven

A man comes to the entrance of Heaven and is told, "You haven't done anything good, but you haven't done anything bad either. If you can tell me of something amazing you have done, I will let you in."
The man replies, "Well, one time I was driving down the road and I saw some gang members threatening a young lady in an alleyway. I stopped and confronted them. I walked up to the biggest looking dude and slapped him and said, 'You need to leave this young lady alone, or I'm going to kick your a**...!'"
The man at the entrance to heaven asked him, "When did this happen?"
The guy replies, "About five minutes ago."

I tried to confront my friend about his s**... attraction to plants

But he kept on beating behind the bush

I was eating a cheeseburger when I was confronted by a vegan.

The vegan said I should give up killing and eating cows, he said I should start eating vegan. If prepared right, you will get more vitamins and enjoy it more.
At the end of the day, he was right, cooked properly, he was delicious.

A mechanic was secretly drinking brake fluid at the garage where he worked. On some days he would even drink a whole pint of the stuff. One day his boss found out and confronted him about it.

The mechanic said It won't become a problem, boss, I swear I can stop whenever I want!

Confronts joke, A mechanic was secretly drinking brake fluid at the garage where he worked. On some days he would ev

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these confronts jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.