Conflict Jokes
46 conflict jokes and hilarious conflict puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about conflict that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Conflict jokes – Are you looking for a humorous way to resolve a disagreement or altercation? Check out this article for a light-hearted and fun look at conflict resolution. Read through a collection of jokes related to conflict of interest, battle, scuffle, and more – you’re sure to find a chuckle or two.
Quick Jump To
- Short Conflict Jokes
- Conflict One Liners
- Conflict Of Interest Jokes
- Resolving Conflict Jokes
- More Conflict Jokes
Funniest Conflict Short Jokes
Short conflict jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The conflict humour may include short dispute jokes also.
- I believe a lot of conflict in the Wild West... ...could have been avoided completely if cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone...
- I'm really conflicted about abortion. I support killing babies, but I don't support giving women a choice.
- What did they call the conflict between Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr? The Ham-Burr-Grrr.
I'm not even sorry. - I'm very conflicted by eye tests. I want to get the answers right.
....but I really want to win the glasses. - The Federal Reserve is fighting a war against inflation Journalists are calling it a conflict of interest
- I think a lot of the conflict that happened in the Wild West could've been avoided. had architects in those days just made their towns big enough for everyone.
- I suppose we should have seen the Newton-Leibniz conflict coming. Calculus has always been derivative
- Im conflicted when it comes to abortion On the one hand - I support it because it kills children on the other hand it gives women a choice.
- I'm sick of these people milking the EA conflict for karma! I hope it at least gives them a sense of pride and accomplishment.
- I believe a lot of conflict in the west Could have been avoided completely if cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone
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Conflict One Liners
Which conflict one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with conflict? I can suggest the ones about crisis and trouble.
- I don't like Haikus; But I like ironic twists I am conflicted
- Russia is on the right side of the conflict. Don't believe me, check a map.
- Where is the most conflict in a loaf of bread? The middle yeast
- Why are fat people good at handling conflicts? They are often the bigger man
- What is the ultimate Jewish conflict? Pork chops at half price
- The reason why Marx never finished college There was a class conflict
- What do you call a conflict between composers? A de*bach*le.
- What does the military contractor have for breakfast? Conflicts.
- What did Russia say to Ukraine after the conflict was over? Cry me a peninsula.
- I've considered opening a mixed emotion martial arts center... But I'm conflicted.
- What did Charlie Brown say when he was in a work conflict? Good grievance!
- did u guys hear about the conflict in the middle east? israeli interesting
- I have the perfect solution for the Israel-Palestine conflict: Christianity.
- Some people say i'm conflicted... I'm not so sure.
- Why are sumo wrestlers so effective at conflict resolutions? They're meaty asians.
Conflict Of Interest Jokes
Here is a list of funny conflict of interest jokes and even better conflict of interest puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Donald Trump has a new plan for solving the conflict of interest of him owning his business empire and being President He's going to put America into a blind trust.
- Loving beer and wanting abs is hard So I had to cancel my gym membership due to conflict of interests
Resolving Conflict Jokes
Here is a list of funny resolving conflict jokes and even better resolving conflict puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Learning with Linus. Hi. My name is Linus Torvalds and today I will be teaching you how to manage threads and resolve conflicts*.
^*In ^Linux ^development ^mailing ^lists.
Cheeky Conflict Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle
What funny jokes about conflict you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean wars jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make conflict pranks.
Barbara Walters once did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan, several years before the Afghan conflict. She noted that women customarily walked five paces behind their husbands...
She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walked behind their husbands, despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime and women seemed happy to maintain the old custom.
Ms. Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, "Why do you still abide by an old custom, that you once tried so desperately to change?"
The woman looked Ms. Walters straight in the eyes, and without hesitation said, "Land mines."
A woman must walk 5 paces behind...
Barbara Walters did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan, several years before the Afghan conflict.
She noted that women customarily walked five paces behind their husbands.
She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walked behind their husbands, despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime and women seemed happy to maintain the old custom.
Ms. Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, "Why do you still abide by an old custom, that you once tried so desperately to change?"
The woman looked Ms. Walters straight in the eyes, and without hesitation said, "Land mines."
Imagine a world where nobody is starving
A world where everybody is happy. Everybody is friendly. A world with no conflict. No wars. No weapons.
Now imagine invading that world because they would never see it coming.
My dad told me this one so i thought i might share
In a zen monastery far inside China, a conflicted discipule has his mind shrouded by a doubt that he's sure his master, Zhi, knows the answer.
He finds him, and asks:
– "Master Zhi, why does everybody say that we, chinese people, all look alike?"
He pauses for a second, looks at the pupil's eyes and answers:
– "I'm not Master Zhi"
A German visits Poland.
A German visits Poland, and is stopped at the boarder by a Polish official.
The Polish Official asked "Occupation?"
The German replied "Yes," and thus began the bloodiest conflict in human history.
Kris came from a family where it's a tradition to take out their giant boulder and put it in front of their house every year for a few days
Most of their neighbors were fine with it, but some were bothered by it, including an individual named Smith who had a history of conflict with the family.
This year, he was thinking of hitting the boulder to simply show disrespect to the family, but he was still considering it.
The question remains, will Smith slap Kris' rock?
I walked into a public restroom
and saw a guy staring into a filthy toilet with a quarter at the bottom. He stood there looking conflicted for a minute, then pulled a twenty dollar bill from his wallet and threw it into the toilet. Then he reached into the muck and pulled out the twenty dollar bill and the quarter.
I asked him, "Why on earth would you throw twenty dollars into a filthy toilet?"
He replied, "Well, there's no way I was going to stick my hand in there for a lousy quarter!"
My background is English, Irish, and Scottish.
Ask me again why I have so much inner conflict.
Star Wars is about the eternal conflict between two opposing forces. One headhunts children across the galaxy, puts them into a religious cult, indoctrinates them, even forbids them from having a relationship, then sends them off to die in the nearest war.
The other is the Sith.
The American Military will never win another conflict.
Our enemies can just ask us to quarantine and we'll immediately refuse to hide.
Charles Dickens was at his publisher's office.
CD: "I'm going to be honest with you, Howard. It's almost complete and I have most of the elements of the story figured out. Great characters, a terrific setting, some good conflict and a theme. But something's missing, and I can't figure out what it is"
Howard: "The plot, Dickens?"
I've always felt conflicted about m**...
I mean, on one hand it feels good...
