Confiscated Jokes
20 confiscated jokes and hilarious confiscated puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about confiscated that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Confiscated Short Jokes
Short confiscated jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The confiscated humour may include short repossessed jokes also.
- I saw my son eating chocolate even after I confiscated all his Halloween candy. I asked him where he got that from. He said, "I always have a few Twix up my sleeve."
- TIFU by trying to be witty at the airport... The TSA confiscated my protein powder asking "Are you planning on building any bombs with this substance?"
I replied "No, only guns." - In the USSR we had this joke But we were keeping it to ourselves so they confiscated it, and threw us in jail.
- Did you know over 1 million wash basins are confiscated at the border every year for no reason? Let that sink in...
- Why do bartenders from Boston confiscate an intoxicated person's Khaki's at the end of the night? So they can't drive home.
- My teacher confiscated my rubiks cube today... He said it was a weapon of maths disruption.
- My mom and dad walked into a bar Then they dragged me out by my ear and confiscated my fake ID.
- The TSA confiscated my grandmother's knitting needles They were afraid she would make an Afghan.
- I went to a concert the other night... ... as I was going through security they confiscated my maracas. Not the end of the world, but no great shakes either!
- A huge load of medications has been confiscated in Africa... ... they all bore the 'Take with food' label
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Confiscated One Liners
Which confiscated one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with confiscated? I can suggest the ones about conquered and detained.
- The finebros confiscated my Epi-Pen I was having an allergic reaction.
- I just flew into Australia and, boy, are my arms... confiscated.
- The teacher confiscated my MP3 today in class So I pulled out my MP5
- Why did the Chinese government confiscate all deer legs? Mistook them for moose limbs.
- My rubberband gun was confiscated in Algebra class It was a weapon of math disruption!
- My friend Sid had his ID confiscated... Now he's just S
- My mom confiscated my phone Now I can't even google how to tie a noose
Silly & Ridiculous Confiscated Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter
What funny jokes about confiscated you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean expelled jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make confiscated pranks.
The police say that they burn all the w**... they confiscate...
That would explain the doughnuts...
A young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the priest beside her, 'Father,may I ask a favor?'
'Of course child. What can I do for you?'
'Well, I bought an expensive woman's electric hair dryer for my Mother's birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through customs for
me? Under your robes perhaps?
'I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie.'
'With your honest face, Father, no one will question you.'
When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her..
The official asked, 'Father, do you have anything to declare?'
'From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare.'
The official thought this answer strange, so he asked, 'And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?'
'I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused.'
Roaring with laughter, the official said, 'Go ahead, Father. Next!
dog keeps chasing people...
I've really had it with my dog, says a guy to his neighbour. He'll chase anyone on a bicycle.
Hmmm, that is a problem, says the neighbour. What are you going to do about it?
Guess the only answer is to confiscate his bike!
Joke my ADHD brain thought of out of nowhere
So the Hogwarts police confiscated a coffee cup suspecting it of dangerous enchantments. Turns out the police that grabbed it drank a bit too much butterbeer. It was just a normal coffee cup that belonged to some arrogant human thief.
It was a smug muggle mugger's mug.
