Confiscate Jokes

What are some Confiscate jokes?

The police say that they burn all the weed they confiscate...

That would explain the doughnuts...

A young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the priest beside her, 'Father,may I ask a favor?'

'Of course child. What can I do for you?'

'Well, I bought an expensive woman's electric hair dryer for my Mother's birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through customs for
me? Under your robes perhaps?

'I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie.'

'With your honest face, Father, no one will question you.'

When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her..

The official asked, 'Father, do you have anything to declare?'

'From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare.'

The official thought this answer strange, so he asked, 'And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?'

'I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused.'

Roaring with laughter, the official said, 'Go ahead, Father. Next!

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest beside her, 'Father, may I ask a favour?'

'Of course child. What may I do for you?'

'Well, I bought an expensive woman's electronic hair dryer for my Mother's birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?'

'I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie.'

'With your honest face, Father, no one will question you.'

When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her. The official asked, 'Father, do you have anything to declare?'

'From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare.'

The official thought this answer strange, so asked, 'And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?'

'I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused.'

A Priest helps a young woman at the airport



A young woman on a flight from Mexico asked the priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?"

"Of course, what may I do for you?" the priest replied.

"Well, I bought an expensive hair dryer for my mother's birthday. It's unopened and over my customs limits. I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through for me? Under your robes, perhaps?"

"I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you, I will not lie," said the devout man.

"With your honest face, Father, no one will question you."

When they reached the customs area, she let the priest go ahead of her.

The official asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"

"From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare."

The official thought this answer strange, so asked, "And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?"

"I have a marvelous instrument designed for a woman's use, but which is, to date, unused." The official said, "Go ahead, Father."

Father, do you have anything to declare?

A beautiful young woman, on an international flight, asked the priest beside her, Father, may I ask a favor?

Of course you may. What can I do for you?

Well, I bought this expensive electronic hair dryer that is well over the Customs limits and I'm afraid that they'll confiscate it from me. Is there anyway that you could carry it through Customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?

I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie.

With your honest face, Father, no one will question you.

When they got to Customs, the young lady let the priest go ahead of her. The Customs Officer asked, Father, do you have anything to declare?

From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare.

The Officer thought this answer strange, so he asked, And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?

I have a marvelous little instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused.

Roaring with laughter, the Officer said, God bless you, Father, go ahead.

"Father, may I ask a favor?"

A distinguished young woman on flight from Switzerland asked the priest sitting beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?"

"Of course. What may I do for you?" the priest replied.

"Well, I bought an expensive electronic hair dryer that is well over the customs limits and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there anyway you could carry it through Customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?" the woman asked.

"I would love to help you, but I must warn you: I will not lie!" The priest told her.

"With your honest face, Father, no one will question you," she said.

When they got to Customs, the young woman let the priest go ahead of her.

The Customs official asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"

"From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare," said the priest.

The officials thought this answer a bit strange, so he asked, "And what to you have to declare from your waist to the floor, Father?"

"I have a marvelous little instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused," answered the priest.

Roaring with laughter, the official said, "Go ahead, Father. Next!"

dog keeps chasing people...

I've really had it with my dog, says a guy to his neighbour. He'll chase anyone on a bicycle.

Hmmm, that is a problem, says the neighbour. What are you going to do about it?

Guess the only answer is to confiscate his bike!

Why do bartenders from Boston confiscate an intoxicated person's Khaki's at the end of the night?

So they can't drive home.

"You know, honey, when i'm old and very ill, i don't want to live like a vegetable..

i don't want to depend on any machine or any other fluids that are supposed to keep me alive". As i said that to her, she looked at me dearly, then she went on to confiscate my phone, laptop and flushed down the toilet all the beer i had.

How to make Confiscate jokes?

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