Confiscate Jokes

Following is our collection of coaster puns and lies one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Confiscate jokes for adults, dirty hide jokes and clean ownership dad gags for kids.

The Best Confiscate Puns

The police say that they burn all the weed they confiscate...

That would explain the doughnuts...

A young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the priest beside her, 'Father,may I ask a favor?'

'Of course child. What can I do for you?'

'Well, I bought an expensive woman's electric hair dryer for my Mother's birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through customs for
me? Under your robes perhaps?

'I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie.'

'With your honest face, Father, no one will question you.'

When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her..

The official asked, 'Father, do you have anything to declare?'

'From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare.'

The official thought this answer strange, so he asked, 'And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?'

'I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused.'

Roaring with laughter, the official said, 'Go ahead, Father. Next!

dog keeps chasing people...

I've really had it with my dog, says a guy to his neighbour. He'll chase anyone on a bicycle.

Hmmm, that is a problem, says the neighbour. What are you going to do about it?

Guess the only answer is to confiscate his bike!

Why do bartenders from Boston confiscate an intoxicated person's Khaki's at the end of the night?

So they can't drive home.

Why did the Chinese government confiscate all deer legs?

Mistook them for moose limbs.


"You know, honey, when i'm old and very ill, i don't want to live like a vegetable..

i don't want to depend on any machine or any other fluids that are supposed to keep me alive". As i said that to her, she looked at me dearly, then she went on to confiscate my phone, laptop and flushed down the toilet all the beer i had.

There is an abundance of declaration jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 6 funniest jokes and confiscate puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any ivy witze you can hear about confiscate.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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