Following is our collection of existence puns and lab one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Confirm jokes for adults, dirty mormonism jokes and clean verify dad gags for kids.
Confirm password: 'snowflake'
Error, your passwords are not alike
A woman doesn't come home one night. The next day she tells her husband that she had slept over at a girlfriend's house.
The husband calls his wife's 10 best friends. None of them know anything about it.
A man doesn't come home one night. The next day he tells his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house. The wife calls her husband's 10 best men friends. Eight of them confirm that he had slept over, and two claim that he was still there.
A man has been found dead in central London this evening, reports confirm the man died due to being stabbed with a triangular knife.
Police are calling it an isoscelated incident.
Reports confirm that the steaks have never been higher.
The next morning, her husband wants to be sure she isn't cheating, so he calls 10 of her friends to ask if she slept there, none of them confirm. A week later, the husband spends the night at a "friend's" house, his wife calls 10 of his friends, 7 of them confirm he slept there and 3 say he's still there sleeping.
Nobody has ever complained about their parachute not opening mid-flight.
The husband asks her where did she spend her night so she says she slept at one of her best friends. The husband calls 10 of her best friends but none of them confirms
Next day, the husband comes home in the morning.Wife asks him where have you been and he says he spend the night at one of his best friends. The wife calls 10 of his best friends, 8 confirm her husband spend the night over and 2 of them swear he is still there sleeping
I'd like to confirm this was completely true, she WAS on the radio, and the dashboard, the steering wheel, the back of the seats and the windscreen.
Pilot - This is Flight 417, we are in the sky, over
I told him to stay positive.
Once
If a girl is washing her face, then its confirm she's not going anywhere
At the end of the day, after his dog had herded the flock into the pen, the shepherd asked his canine friend to confirm how many sheep were in.
"40," the dog barked.
"40? I counted 37."
"Yes," replied the dog, "I rounded them up."
I can confirm there are no Mexicans in China.
Confirm new password: Tomato
Passwords don't match.
Context: in university now. Can confirm. Am failing.
And we even get it first!
So far all tests have come back negative.
... right guys?
She asks her friend Rob: "Do you know anyone I could hire to put this cat down?"
Rob: "Yes, I think one of my gaming buddies is in this business, but I would have to confirm"
Woman: "Oh, so what's his name?"
Rob: "I don't know his real name, but his gaming name is xX__PussyDestroyer__Xx"
But we can confirm that it's not Attuma.
In fact, it'll be a huge 6S.
Create new password: Aluminium
Confirm new password: Aluminium
Passwords don't match.
(I do know it is a take on an older joke)
Apple users, they confirm to have read 968 pages of terms and conditions in usually less than two seconds.
It's a real ball ache.
But that may be wishful thinking.
To confirm that I had her consent for her personal email and phone number and other personal data as per the new European privacy regulations and GDPR guidelines.
I can confirm that the same is true for women.
It's raining in South Carolina.
Bond, James Bond.
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Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.