Confirm Jokes

Following is our collection of existence puns and lab one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Confirm jokes for adults, dirty mormonism jokes and clean verify dad gags for kids.

The Best Confirm Puns

Enter password: 'snowflake'

Confirm password: 'snowflake'

Error, your passwords are not alike

Bros v. Hoes

A woman doesn't come home one night. The next day she tells her husband that she had slept over at a girlfriend's house.
The husband calls his wife's 10 best friends. None of them know anything about it.

A man doesn't come home one night. The next day he tells his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house. The wife calls her husband's 10 best men friends. Eight of them confirm that he had slept over, and two claim that he was still there.

Probably already been said, but it made me chuckle when I thought of it.

A man has been found dead in central London this evening, reports confirm the man died due to being stabbed with a triangular knife.

Police are calling it an isoscelated incident.

Rescue attempts are being made to save a bull stranded on Mt. Everest

Reports confirm that the steaks have never been higher.

A Wife spends the night at a "friend's" house

The next morning, her husband wants to be sure she isn't cheating, so he calls 10 of her friends to ask if she slept there, none of them confirm. A week later, the husband spends the night at a "friend's" house, his wife calls 10 of his friends, 7 of them confirm he slept there and 3 say he's still there sleeping.


As a supplier for paramilitary troops, i can confirm...

Nobody has ever complained about their parachute not opening mid-flight.

Wife comes home in the morning

The husband asks her where did she spend her night so she says she slept at one of her best friends. The husband calls 10 of her best friends but none of them confirms
Next day, the husband comes home in the morning.Wife asks him where have you been and he says he spend the night at one of his best friends. The wife calls 10 of his best friends, 8 confirm her husband spend the night over and 2 of them swear he is still there sleeping

There is a conspiracy theory that claims Princess Diana was on the radio after her reported death.

I'd like to confirm this was completely true, she WAS on the radio, and the dashboard, the steering wheel, the back of the seats and the windscreen.

Air traffic control - Flight 417, please confirm your location, over

Pilot - This is Flight 417, we are in the sky, over

My friend told he's been diagnosed with HIV, and has to go for a retest to confirm the results.

I told him to stay positive.

Science confirm that humans can ingest deadly poison or even molten lava.

Once


If a boy is washing his face, then he is ready to go somewhere

If a girl is washing her face, then its confirm she's not going anywhere

A shepherd owned a remarkable dog, deft at sheep herding and able to speak.

At the end of the day, after his dog had herded the flock into the pen, the shepherd asked his canine friend to confirm how many sheep were in.

"40," the dog barked.

"40? I counted 37."

"Yes," replied the dog, "I rounded them up."

Coming from a Chinese person, Trump's wall totally works.

I can confirm there are no Mexicans in China.

Create new password: Tomato

Confirm new password: Tomato

Passwords don't match.

I WAS at my y' = 0 of performance in calc

Context: in university now. Can confirm. Am failing.

Can confirm: England Does have a 4th of July

And we even get it first!

Now that there are confirmed infections in The White House, Donald Trump is getting a COVID-19 and an IQ test every day...

So far all tests have come back negative.

I don't need confirmation for what I do...

... right guys?


A woman wanted to hire a hitman to kill one particular cat that had been messing with her pet squirrel

She asks her friend Rob: "Do you know anyone I could hire to put this cat down?"

Rob: "Yes, I think one of my gaming buddies is in this business, but I would have to confirm"

Woman: "Oh, so what's his name?"

Rob: "I don't know his real name, but his gaming name is xX__PussyDestroyer__Xx"

Rumours are spreading that Arnold Schwarzenegger is being cast in a Namor the Sub-Mariner film. It's not known who he will be playing...

But we can confirm that it's not Attuma.

After watching today's Apple event, I can confirm the new iPhone will not be a failure.

In fact, it'll be a huge 6S.

I hate passwords

Create new password: Aluminium

Confirm new password: Aluminium

Passwords don't match.



(I do know it is a take on an older joke)

Who are the fastest readers?

Apple users, they confirm to have read 968 pages of terms and conditions in usually less than two seconds.

I had a Vasectomy yesterday, and I can confirm...

It's a real ball ache.

I'm sure everyone here knows what confirmation bias is

But that may be wishful thinking.

I had to contact by ex in Poland.

To confirm that I had her consent for her personal email and phone number and other personal data as per the new European privacy regulations and GDPR guidelines.

It is said that in geometry, the more dimensions you add, the more complicated it gets

I can confirm that the same is true for women.

Can Confirm.

It's raining in South Carolina.

Chemists Confirm the Existence of New Type of Bond

Bond, James Bond.

There is an abundance of verification jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 30 funniest jokes and confirm puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any supernova witze you can hear about confirm.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes