The Best 15 Confidently Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Confidently jokes. There are some confidently hesitantly jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these confidently safely puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Confidently Jokes and Puns

A man walks into a tailor to buy a tuxedo. He confidently tells the tailor he doesn't need any assistance. The tailor says…

... "Fine. Suit yourself."

Trump visits an elementary school

Trump visits an elementary school to greet the students and teachers. He asks the students, what do you all want to be when you grow up?

A farmer, shouts one.

An astronaut, shouts another.

The President of the United States, confidently says a little girl.

Who said that, shouts Trump. The little girl raises her hand and he darts eyes at her. He begins to fume, are you joking? Are you brainless? Are you a complete moron? Are you stupid? Are you an idiot?

The little girl, taken aback, says, on second thought, nevermind! That sounds like too many requirements!

"The person who answers this last question gets to leave early" said the teacher

"Now what is the sum of three and two, multiplied by the square root of 6 " the teacher asked.

The class began scribbling furiously. All except for Bobby. Bobby raised his hand and the teacher called on him.

"5" answered Bobby confidently. He began to pack up his things and walk to the door.

"Not quite correct Bobby" the teacher said "so you don't get to leave early"

"You didn't say it had to be correct...Just that someone had to answer"

Confidently joke, "The person who answers this last question gets to leave early" said the teacher

Tiger Woods playing golf.

Sorry if this is a repost, but I found this one quite funny.

Tiger Woods is practicing golf one day, surrounded by fans and media. While he's practicing, an amateur
golfer confidently walks up to him and challenges him to a match. Tiger knew he'd win, so he agrees thinking that it would be a fun break from serious practice. "OK," the amateur says, "Since I'm an amateur and you're a pro, you'll have to allow me two gotchas". Tiger didn't know what a gotchas is, but he didn't ask because he thought he'd win regardless of what handicap is placed on him. The fans and media leave the two alone so they can play in peace.

A few hours later, the two come out of the golf course and it turns out that Tiger Woods lost. The fans and media surrounded him wanting to know what happened. Tiger says, "I was starting the first hole, concentrating to tee off, you know, deep in thought. Right when I was about to drive the ball, he ran up from behind, grabbed my nuts and squeezed them tight while loudly screaming 'GOTCHA!!' can you imagine me trying to play eighteen holes waiting for the next gotcha?"

A man sits down at a children's park

A man is sitting down at a bench enjoying some lunch during his lunch break. Overhead he watches children frolick and play. But then he sees a group of women quietly discussing (obviously) him.

Then all of the sudden one of the women confidently approaches the man. With an ounce of cockyness, in a bid to lure away the man, the women asks "So, which one is yours?"

The man replies "I haven't decided yet."


I can confidently run up 6 flights of stairs.

But 7 Flights? That's another story.

An Englishman, an American and an Irishman are lined up against the wall to be executed by the Nazis.

The Englishman is first, they put him against the wall, ready, aim …. The Englishman yells out earthquake earthquake!!! The Germans panic and he manages to run away.

The american is next and having seen what happened, as the Germans go ready, aim …. He yells out flood, flood. Again the Germans panic and he manages to run away.

The Irishman is next the Germans line him up and go ready, aim…. The Irishman confidently yells out Fire fire ….....

Apologies to any Irish offended. And Germans too.

Confidently joke, An Englishman, an American and an Irishman are lined up against the wall to be executed by the Nazis

A lumberjack was being cross-examined during a murder trial.

The defense lawyer, trying to discredit the lumberjack as a witness, asked him:

"Is it true you were working at night?  How can you be sure that it was a pine tree that fell on the victim?"

The lumberjack replied confidently: "I know what I saw."

When I was about 5

On holiday with my parents, after a loooong day we finally go for dinner. We all ask for steaks. The waiter asks how we want them. Everyone else says for medium. With a surprising look I confidently ask the waiter for an extra large one! Idiots!!

A woman came into the police station sobbing. "A ghost has taken control of my husband" she cried.

The officer took her statement and conferred with his partner. He turned back to the woman and said confidently, "Dont worry about it, we deal with this kind of thing all the time, possession is 9/10ths of the law."

Polish joke

A nurse is checking up on the patients in a mental asylum. She asks the first patient, "What is 2+2?"
"3,942,304" He answers, disappointing the nurse.
"What is 2+2?" She asks the next patient.
"Thursday." He answers confidently
She sighs and moves on to the next person.
"What is 2+2?"
"4"
"Wow!" she exclaims. "How'd you find that out?"
"I divided 3,942,304 by Thursday."

You can explore confidently boldly reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean confidently cheerfully dad jokes. There are also confidently puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Jesus and Mohammad are debating religion.

Jesus, with a smug smile, says: "My faith can move the tallest of mountains."

Mohammad confidently replies: "How well does it do with skyscrapers, brotha?"

Im a confident driver

Me: Im a confident driver

Friend: But you almost just run someone over

Me: Confidently tho

Met a girl from Tinder tonight. She asked me if I have any problems with alcohol.

Confidently, I replied "Nah, whiskey and I are like best friends!"

Dunno why she left in such a hurry...

My friend asked how smart he was...

I told him he was like the Sun.
Really bright? He responded confidently.
No, you can't do basic math or pretty much anything.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the confidently arrogantly jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working confidently triumphantly piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes