Confidentiality Jokes
17 confidentiality jokes and hilarious confidentiality puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about confidentiality that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Confidentiality Short Jokes
Short confidentiality jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The confidentiality humour may include short jokes also.
- HR: "This is your revised salary. We recommend you keep it confidential." Employee: "Don't worry, I'm equally ashamed of it."
- A baker recently joined MI5… … he was given confidential information on a knead the dough basis
- Did you hear the one about the doctor treating his patient? Neither did I, Doctor-patient confidentiality.
- In unexpected twist attorney Michael Cohen is suing his Michael Cohen for breach of a confidentiality agreement.
- To make a millennial laugh, just tell them how people used to believe a business or government would actually keep information confidential.
- What do you call a government employee with too much confidence? Sorry, that's confidential
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Confidentiality One Liners
Which confidentiality one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with confidentiality? I can suggest the ones about and .
- My favourite word is "confidential". I can't tell you why.
- What do you call the state of having confidence? I'm sorry, it's confidential.
- Our confidentiality supervisor is... i**... Antellu
Confidentiality Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about confidentiality you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make confidentiality pranks.
A boy asked his father...
"Dad, what's the difference between confidence, and confidential?"
The father thinks for a moment and says, "You are my son, and that I am confident of. Your friend billy is also my son but that's confidential."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do Harvey Weinstein and Kevin Spacey have in common?
The House of Cards they had built in Hollywoodland has now made them The Usual Suspects in Sin City. This was supposed to be LA Confidential but apparently they couldnt find Consenting Adults. The American Beauty of this is that they will now forever be Inglorious b**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The embarrassed s**... active middle aged woman
A s**... active middle aged woman informed her plastic surgeon that she wanted her v**... lips reduced in size because, over the years they have become loose and floppy.
Out of embarrassment, she insisted that the surgery be kept secret and, of course, the surgeon agreed.
Awakening from the anesthesia, she found 3 roses carefully placed beside her on the bed.
Outraged, she immediately called in the surgeon.
"I thought I specifically asked you not to tell anyone about my operation"!
The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality and
that the first rose was from him.
"I felt so sad for you, because you went through this all by yourself."
"The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery and
understood perfectly, as she had the same procedure done some time ago."
"And what about the third rose?" the woman asked.
"That's from a man in the burns unit -
he wanted to thank you for his new ears!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
3rd Rose
A s**... active middle aged woman informed her plastic surgeon that she wanted her v**... lips reduced in size because, over the years they had become loose and floppy.
Out of embarrassment, she insisted that the surgery be kept secret and of course the surgeon agreed.
Awakening from the anesthesia,she found 3 roses carefully placed beside her on the bed.
Outraged, she immediately called in the surgeon.
"I thought I specifically asked you not to tell anyone about my operation"!
The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality and that the first rose was from him. "I felt so sad for you, because you went through this all by yourself."
"The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery and understood perfectly, as she had the same procedure done some time ago."
"And what about the third rose?" she asked.
"That's from a man in the burn unit - he wanted to thank you for his new ears."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Project: Reimagined
There once was a secret government program that tried to create perfect soldiers through genetic modification, cloning, and strenuous conditioning.
What they wanted to achieve was the normal super soldier run down:
- Super strong
- Super fast
- Super smart
- Super obedient
They started out by impregnating 10 women with the altered embryos. For the sake of confidentiality the clones were numbered instead of named, 1-10.
The modifications seemed to work in some of the clones, but it caused some strange side effects in the other ones, not all of them survived childhood.
The first to go was 8. She wasn't told to eat, so she starved.
Then it was 2 and 10. 2 had become dangerously aggressive and attacked 10, who fought back just well enough.
Next went 4 to some disconnect in her nervous system.
Then 1, when she tried to escape after a mental break down.
3 and 5 committed s**....
The project was terminated after an incident where 9 went missing. In the file there was what seemed to be a transcript from an interview of 6, the terrified clone who witnessed it.
"Dr: Where has 9 gone? Has she told you her plan after she escaped.
6: 9 didn't escape.
Dr: What are you talking about? The whole base has been searched! 9 is nowhere to be found! Where is 9?
6: You aren't listening! 9 didn't escape, 7 killed her!
Dr: What? How? How did she kill her and then get rid of the body?
6: Isn't it obvious Doctor? 7 ate 9."