Confessed Murdering Jokes

10 confessed murdering jokes and hilarious confessed murdering puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about confessed murdering that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Howlingly Hilarious Confessed Murdering Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening

What is a good confessed murdering joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

I whisper my sins to crows

So my parents can't hear me confess to a m**...

I once knew a Colombian conductor.

He was arrested for the m**... of a passenger and in his confession he said he did it because the passenger was wearing pink shoes. I never would have thought that he was capable of something like this, but I must admit he had a locomotive.

Why did the blanket lie and confess to the m**...?

It was the perfect cover.

My uncle confessed to m**... on his death bed

And then he got better

The CIA, The Mossad and The KGB.

A mummy was found in Egypt, and to determine its age and whatnot, three best forensic teams of the world decided to start a competition.
The CIA went first. They studied the mummy for a year, and then came up with a result: the person lived around 1000 years BC, plus or minus 200 years.
The Mossad goes next. They study the mummy for a month, and conclude: it was a pharaoh who ruled 1000 years BC, give or take 100 years.
The KGB team goes next. They hold the mummy for a week, and then come up with this: it was Pharaoh Ramenhotep the Second, born 1022 BC, became king after murdering his uncle, ruled for five years, on the third year of his reign the Nile flooded Luxor, on the fourth year the hittites attacked.
Everyone is perplexed: "How did you find all this out?"
"He confessed"

I would like to confess to a m**... and apologize to the entire school,

I mixed up the crows' food with the fish food.

A priest had 3 people at confession.

He went to Guy 1 and asked: What sin did you commit?'
Guy 1 responded: I murdered someone.
The priest responded Drink this holy water and your sin is forgiven.
He did so and stood back.
The priest asked Guy 2 and asked: What sin did you commit?'
Guy 2 responded: I cheated on my wife.
The priest responded Drink this holy water and your sin is forgiven.
He did so and stood back as well.
Then it was the 3rd person's turn. The priest asked him: So, what sin did YOU commit?
Nervously, Guy 3 responded: Um…well, you see, Father…I peed in the holy water.

I thought by black friend confessed to m**....

As it turns out, he just asked a g**... a date.

Bad orchestra director

An orchestra conductor walks in on his wife cheating on him with his principal violinist. She confesses, "I haven't loved you for a while now. It's your job - you're a lousy conductor."
In a crime of passion, he shoots them both dead.
At his m**... trial, he's found guilty and sentenced to the electric chair. He's strapped in, the switch is thrown, and... nothing. Confused, the executor flips the switch back and forth a few times and shrugs. Turns out his wife was correct; he's a bad conductor.

An old man has spent 30 years working for the railroad, punching tickets and being mean to everyone who crossed his path.

Finally it's discovered that he's responsible for a string of dozens of murders up and down the railroad line, at almost every stop, going back almost the whole 30 years of his career. He confesses to all of them and is quickly convicted and sentenced to death by electrocution.
The day finally comes, they strap him into the chair and the guard throws the switch. Sparks fly and smoke curls upward from the straps and skullcap, but the old man is unhurt. The switch is thrown again and again, but always with the same result. Finally he is released from the chair, and the next day the governor commutes his sentence to life in prison.
When a reporter asks him about the incident and why he thought he survived, the man replies, "Well, I've always been a poor conductor."

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about confessed murdering can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of confessed murdering puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Share These Confessed Murdering Jokes With Friends

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these confessed murdering jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.