conferences Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious conferences puns

God gathers the leaders of every nation

to tell them that the world is going to end in a week, and that they must inform their countrymen and women. Shocked, the leaders return home wondering how to best break the news. The next day, they all hold press conferences.

Barack Obama: "I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that God exists, but the bad news is that the world will end in less than a week."

Robert Mugabe: "I have only bad news. God exists and the world will end in less than a week."

Kim Jong-Un: "I have great news! I am on a first name basis with God, and He told me I would rule until the end of the world!"

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An easy question to Albert Einstein!

One day, Einstein has to speak at an important science conference.
On the way there, he tells his driver that looks a bit like him:


"I'm sick of all these conferences. I always say the same things over and over!"


The driver agrees: "You're right. As your driver, I attended all of them, and even though I don't know anything about science, I could give the conference in your place."


"That's a great idea!" says Einstein. "Let's switch places then!"


So they switch clothes and as soon as they arrive, the driver dressed as Einstein goes on stage and starts giving the usual speech, while the real Einstein, dressed as the car driver, attends it.


But in the crowd, there is one scientist who wants to impress everyone and thinks of a very difficult question to ask Einstein, hoping he won't be able to respond. So this guy stands up and interrupts the conference by posing his very difficult question. The whole room goes silent, holding their breath, waiting for the response.


The driver looks at him, dead in the eye, and says :


"Sir, your question is so easy to answer that I'm going to let my driver reply to it for me."

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What do fishermen do at a their conferences?

Network.

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No motivation. Why bother if people don't notice my creative work?

It just seems that lately nobody really notices all the work I do. It seems like no matter how much effort i put into my works, no matter how much I invest in improving my skills via education, books, conferences, no matter how much i try to 'get in the spotlight' and display my art, people seem to just... pass it by and go on like they haven't even noticed it, not even giving it a glance or a moments thought.

I'm in a rut right now. Its hard to stay motivated and creative when all the hard work goes unnoticed, despite the pay being good.

For those wondering, i design camouflage.

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Instead of "guys", use "comrades" in your talks at conferences.

It's a good way to get the audience. And maybe automatic recording.

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A&M left the Big 12 for the SEC

And the IQ of both conferences went up.

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The Businessman

A travelling businessman gets in the elevator at his hotel after a long day in conferences.

To his weary dismay, each floor up the elevator gets more and more crowded.

On the 4th floor a large group enters, including a very busty woman.

Exhausted, but trying to accommodate, the man shuffles around and accidentally elbows the poor lady in her chest.

"Please, if your heart is as soft as soft as your bosom you'll forgive my offense." the businessman says in embarrassment.

The woman replies with a wink, "If your dick is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 816."

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I want to go to all the multi-threading conferences this year...

But they're all happening at the same time!

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The Chef

A travelling businessman gets in the elevator at his hotel after a long day in conferences.
To his weary dismay, each floor up the elevator gets more and more crowded.
On the 4th floor a large group enters, including a very busty woman.
Exhausted, but trying to accommodate, the man shuffles around and accidentally elbows the poor lady in her chest.
"Please, if your heart is as soft as soft as your bosom you'll forgive my offense." the businessman says in embarrassment.
The woman replies with a wink, "If your dick is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 816."

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I water to go to all the multi-threading conferences this year.

But they're all happening at the same time.

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Most rides to the voting stations are free today so that means

Rides to most parent teacher conferences are free today too. Show up for your kid if your are going to show up to vote, Todd.

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My history teacher always makes this joke so I just wanted to share it. Government conferences shouldn't be called conferences.

They should be called government man dates.

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What are the most funny Conferences jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Conferences? Well, here are the best Conferences dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Conferences pick up lines to share with friends.

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