Conference Room Jokes
15 conference room jokes and hilarious conference room puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about conference room that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Conference Room Short Jokes
Short conference room jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The conference room humour may include short meeting room jokes also.
- Doctor's Discussion Two surgeons are conferring in the hospital corridor outside a patient's room...
"We found a large lump in his wallet but I think we got it all." - An Engineer, a Physicist, and a Mathemetician Share a Hotel Room for a Conference... She fainted.
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Conference Room One Liners
Which conference room one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with conference room? I can suggest the ones about office meeting and conference.
- What room was Matt Cutts trying to find when he got lost at the SEO Conference? Room 404
- What were the Mexican crisps doing in the locked conference room? It's nacho business!
Quirky and Hilarious Conference Room Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.
What funny jokes about conference room you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean conference call jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make conference room pranks.
America just sent the Curiosity rover to Mars...
America just sent the Curiosity rover to Mars as the country watched with pride. Iran, wanting to gain a technological/global edge, decided to show up America by announcing a manned mission to the sun the very next day. The Americans, along with other western allies, decided to meet with the Iranian government to express their concern. In a conference room filled with diplomats and astrophysicists, the US delegation protested to the Iranians, Listen. Differences aside, we can't let you send people to the sun. It's s**.... They burn to death even at far distances! Please don't carry out this mission! The Iranians laughed wittily amongst themselves, jabbing each other with elbows and pointing at the westerners as one Iranian says, s**... Americans! They think we're going during the daytime!
George bush was attending a morning press conference...
Donald rumsfeld read the daily briefings aloud
"This morning, 3 Brazilian soilders were killed"
"OH MY GOD THATS TERRIBLE" Screamed the president
The room went silent, everyone was stunned by the presidents emotional outburst.
A moment passed when George asked in a quiet Texas tone "how many is three brazillion?"
Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent, and the last instruction of the Mother Superior is that they must not get even a drop of paint on their habits.
After conferring about this for a while, the two nuns decide to lock the door of the room, s**... off their habits, and paint in the n**....
In the middle of the project, there comes a knock at the door. "Who is it?", calls one of the nuns.
"Blind man," replies a voice from the other side of the door. The two nuns look at each other and shrug, and, deciding that no harm can come from letting a blind man into the room, they open the door.
"Nice b**...," says the man, "where do you want these blinds?"
An american was invited to a conference in France as a speaker.
He was not speaking French at all but being a smart guy and wanting to impress the audience he learns by heart his entire speech in French.
When his moment come, he goes on the stage and realizes he completely forgot the introduction. So he looks around the room and notices the toilets in the back and ... Eureka! That's it: "Ladies and Gentlemen".
After the speech and the applause, follows the cocktail, he meets a French colleague and asks him how was it. The French guy says:
It was fantastic; your French is really good but you know ... in France we never start a speech with "Toilettes et Pissoirs".
Tom Hanks walks into WB studios
Tom Hanks walks into the WB studios and enters one of the many conference rooms.
As he sits down for the read -through, he notices his fellow peers sitting at the table Ben Affleck, Henry Cavill's mustache, Gal Gadot and a couple of other people he was he was only vaguely familiar with. He picks up the script, looks at the first page and throws it back down on the table.
He throws his hands up and says, "I'd like a word with the director please. "
At this point, Zak Snyder steps out with him and asks, "What's the problem,Tom?".
Tom just looks at him and says, " I can't be in a movie with these guys, they're in a league of their own."
Three businessmen go on a business trip,
and they decide to share a hotel room. They go to sleep the night before their conference and after they wake up, they talk about their dreams the night before while getting dressed.
One man, who slept on the left end of the bed, said "I had a dream last night that I was getting the world's best hand-job from the hottest girl."
Another man, who slept on the right end of the bed, said "Funny, I had the exact same dream."
The last man, who slept in the middle of the bed, said "I didn't have that dream. I dreamt I was skiing."
Coyote Problem
The Sierra Club and the U.S. Forest Service were presenting an alternative to Wyoming ranchers for controlling the coyote population.
It seems that after years of the ranchers using the tried and true methods of shooting and/or trapping the predators, the tree-huggers had a "more humane" solution.
What they proposed was for the animals to be captured alive; the males would then be castrated and let loose again. Therefore the population would be controlled.
All of the ranchers thought about this amazing idea for a couple of minutes.
Finally, an old boy in the back of the conference room stood up, tipped his hat back and said, "Son, I don't think you understand our problem. Those coyotes ain't f**...' our sheep - they're eatin' 'em!"
Cynical Meanings
Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool on the other.
Divorce: Future tense of marriage.
Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either."
Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power...
Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.
Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
An easy question to Albert Einstein!
One day, Einstein has to speak at an important science conference.
On the way there, he tells his driver that looks a bit like him:
"I'm sick of all these conferences. I always say the same things over and over!"
The driver agrees: "You're right. As your driver, I attended all of them, and even though I don't know anything about science, I could give the conference in your place."
"That's a great idea!" says Einstein. "Let's switch places then!"
So they switch clothes and as soon as they arrive, the driver dressed as Einstein goes on stage and starts giving the usual speech, while the real Einstein, dressed as the car driver, attends it.
But in the crowd, there is one scientist who wants to impress everyone and thinks of a very difficult question to ask Einstein, hoping he won't be able to respond. So this guy stands up and interrupts the conference by posing his very difficult question. The whole room goes silent, holding their breath, waiting for the response.
The driver looks at him, dead in the eye, and says :
"Sir, your question is so easy to answer that I'm going to let my driver reply to it for me."