Cones Jokes
39 cones jokes and hilarious cones puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cones that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh along to the best Cones Jokes! From traffic cones to ice cream cones to 'flippers in the pine', these jokes about cones are sure to tickle your funny bone. Enjoy these laughs over a cool sundae today!
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Funniest Cones Short Jokes
Short cones jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cones humour may include short ice cream cone jokes also.
- Ugly scenes Ugly scenes in centre of Leicester this evening
An 'anti Trump' protestor threw a traffic cone, narrowly missing US President by 5802 miles - A communist and his friend walk into an antique store His friend said:
Woah,look at this really fancy cone glass thing with the sand!,its mine!
The communist said:
no
Its Hourglass - What rests on the ground between my feet and is covered in ants? My ice cream cone. =(
*Inspired by actual events. - My dog has to wear this cone till he heals from surgery. It helps with the biting, but the barking? He sounds like a sub-whoofer.
- what did the lactose intolerant man say after eating an ice cream cone? please excuse my dairy air
- I went to a museum of modern art the other day and saw a cone statue. I really enjoyed it and would have liked to prolong my visit, but it was truncated.
- What do you get when one person thinks that there are 18 pine nuts in a pine cone and another person thinks there is 17 pine nuts in the same pine cone? A difference of a piñon!
- Two dogs are sitting outside One is wearing the cone of shame and the other is not
The dog wearing the cone says to the other,
"Hey Bob, I'm going to have to ask you do me a favor" - Things that have occurred in history since the Chicago Cubs last won a World Series... I had an ice cream cone. That I dripped all over myself.
- What does M.Night Shyamalan always order when he goes out for ice cream? A large twist cone.
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Cones One Liners
Which cones one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cones? I can suggest the ones about converse and rods.
- On hot summer days, what do cats eat? A mice-cream cone!
- I'm fair-skinned. I have tattoos of ferris wheels, tilt-a-whirls and sno-cones.
- What's fat, orange and that everyone avoids? A traffic cone.
*what did you expect?* - What do you call ice cream you eat in a car? A traffic cone!
- Why did little Timmy drop his ice cream cone? He was run-over by a car.
- How do tree's like their ice cream? In a pine cone.
- I bought a TV from a guy wearing a white outfit and a white cone mask It was a 3k tv
- Where's the best place to store ice cream cones? Conetainers
- What do you call it when two ice creams want to have a child Cone-ception
- Why did the female snowman delete Tinder? She was getting too many snow cone pics.
- How do you call a clown's breast implants that are pointy instead of round? Silly cones.
- The dumbest kid in chemistry class doesn't wear a dunce cap. He wear a silly cone.
- What does the ice-cream van man do to save his parking spot? Puts cones out.
- What happened to the ice cream cone that got ran over by a lawn mower? it was a la mowed
- I was playing tennis and eating an ice cream cone, I'm glad it was soft serve.
Traffic Cones Jokes
Here is a list of funny traffic cones jokes and even better traffic cones puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Snooki is so short and orange that she works part time as a traffic cone.
Ice Cream Cones Jokes
Here is a list of funny ice cream cones jokes and even better ice cream cones puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Michel J Fox walks into an ice cream parlor. He orders a large cone with two scoops what flavors does he choose? It doesn't matter he's just going to drop it anyway
- Why did timmy drop his ice cream cone? Timmy got hit by a train
- Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? Because he never had a father.
- Why did Lucy drop her ice cream cone Because she was hit by a truck
- Boy, you make me like an ice cream cone on a hot day. Dripping.
- Why'd Billy drop his ice cream cone? Because he got hit by a bus.
- Did you hear about the Tourette's ice cream cone? It takes a l**..., and keeps on ticcing.
Uproarious Cones Jokes to Share with Friends
What funny jokes about cones you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean lenses jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make cones pranks.
little Johnny
Was sitting in class doing maths problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question.
"Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun how many would be left?"
"None," replied Johnny, "'Cause the rest would fly away."
"Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "But I like the way you are thinking."
Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you now; If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop: one was l**... her cone, the second was biting the cone, and the third was s**... the cone, which one is married?"
"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one s**... the cone?"
"No," said Little Johnny, "The one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you are thinking."
Little Johnny is in class...
The teacher asks the class, "there are 5 birds on the line, someone shoots one bird, how many are left?"
Johnny says none, because when the gun went off, there birds flew away. The teacher says, no there are 4 but I like the way you're thinking.
Johnny says ok teacher, there are 3 women sitting on a bench eating ice cream cones. The first one is lightly l**... the ice cream, the second is biting the ice cream and the third one gobbles the whole cone down. Johnny asks, which one is married? The teacher says, the one that gobbles the ice cream cone down? Johnny says, no, it's the one with the wedding ring on, but I like the way you're thinking.
Why are pine trees always s**... ?
They have to many cones
Why did the s**... fail his driving test?
He kept hitting cones.
Teacher asks her class, "If there's 14 crows on a fence and you shoot 2 off, how many are left ?"
One little boy says, "None, the shotgun scared them all away." Teacher says, "That's not the answer I was looking for but I like the way you're thinking." Boy says to teacher, "I have a question for you." "There's 3 women eating ice cream cones. 1 is l**..., 1 is s**..., 1 is biting. Which one is married?" Teacher answers (slightly embarrassed), "I imagine it's the one s**...." Boy says, "No, it's the one with the wedding ring, but I like the way your thinking !"
Why did the pine tree fall over?
It had too many cones
I'm not racist, but...
I enjoy eating snow cones on hot days.
By the book
Lady looks out her window and sees a couple of Parks and Recreation guys setting up cones before they start work.
They finish and o**... digs a big hole by the sidewalk.
He finishes, they chat and drink coffee, then he walks about 10 yards away and starts a second hole, meanwhile, the second guy begins filling in the first hole.
They finish, chat and drink coffee, then first guy digs third hole and second guy fills second hole.
She waits until they pause again and walks out to see what's going on.
"What are you guys doing?
"Well, lady, were supposed to be planting trees, but there isn't any budget to buy them, so the Union told us to get to work. So here we are."
Little Johnny is goofing off in math class and Ms. McHeiney calls on him.
"Johnny, three birds are sitting on a fence, you shoot one of them how many are left." Johnny sits up straight and says "none, the bang would make the others fly away." Ms. McHeiney says, "well, the answer is two, but I like the way you're thinking."
Little Johnny says "OK, I have one for you, three women are eating ice cream cones, one is biting it, one is l**... it, one is s**... on it, which one is married?" Stumped Ms. McHeiney says "uhhhh, the one s**... on it?" Johnny puffs out his chest and says "well, the answer is the one with the wedding band, but I like the way you're thinking."
Little Johnny and the math teacher
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?"
"None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away."
"Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking."
Little Johnny then says, "I have a question for you Sir. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was l**... her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was s**... her cone, which one is married?"
"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one s**... the cone."
"No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking."
I like the way you think.
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?" "None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away." "Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking." Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was l**... her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was s**... her cone, which one is married?" "Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one s**... the cone." "No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking."
Little Johnny joke...
A teacher asks her class that if there are 3 birds sitting on a fence and a hunter comes by and shoots 1 of them, how many are left? Little Johnny raises his hand and says, none, because the other 2 birds would have flown away. The teacher thinks for a moment and says well I was looking for 2 birds but I like the way you think. Then little Johnny says, well, I have a question for you teacher. Three women are eating ice cream cones, one is l**... the ice cream, one is biting the ice cream, and one is s**... the ice cream - which one of the women is married? The teacher thinks for a moment and says well I guess the one that is s**... the ice cream. Little Johnny smiles and says no, the one with the wedding ring on but I like the way you think!
A man places $100, a fifth of Jameson and a bible on the table.
A man places $100, a fifth of Jameson and a bible on the table. His son cones in and the man tells him to sit down. He says to his son, "if you take the $100 you will grow to be a gambler. If you take the whiskey, you will die as a drunk in the streets. But if you take the bible, you will be a holy man of God and live a good and righteous life."
The son sits and thinks for a moment, he then reaches out and takes the bible, the whiskey and the money off the table and walks out the door. The man sits stunned for a moment before he jumps out of his seat and proclaims "By God!!! My son is going to be an Irish priest!"