Cone Jokes
58 cone jokes and hilarious cone puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cone that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Start your day off with a laugh and read some of the best cone jokes around! From the humorous to the quirky, we have something for everyone. These jokes cover classic topics like dog cones, ice cream cones, snow cones, pine cones, construction cones, Alan Partridge cones, and even orange cones. Whether you're looking for a serious joke about pet cones or a lighthearted riff about Baskin-Robbins or Oreos, you'll be sure to find a cone joke that'll hit the spot.
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Funniest Cone Short Jokes
Short cone jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cone humour may include short chin jokes also.
- Ugly scenes Ugly scenes in centre of Leicester this evening
An 'anti Trump' protestor threw a traffic cone, narrowly missing US President by 5802 miles - A communist and his friend walk into an antique store His friend said:
Woah,look at this really fancy cone glass thing with the sand!,its mine!
The communist said:
no
Its Hourglass - What rests on the ground between my feet and is covered in ants? My ice cream cone. =(
*Inspired by actual events. - My dog has to wear this cone till he heals from surgery. It helps with the biting, but the barking? He sounds like a sub-whoofer.
- I went to a museum of modern art the other day and saw a cone statue. I really enjoyed it and would have liked to prolong my visit, but it was truncated.
- What do you get when one person thinks that there are 18 pine nuts in a pine cone and another person thinks there is 17 pine nuts in the same pine cone? A difference of a piñon!
- Two dogs are sitting outside One is wearing the cone of shame and the other is not
The dog wearing the cone says to the other,
"Hey Bob, I'm going to have to ask you do me a favor" - Things that have occurred in history since the Chicago Cubs last won a World Series... I had an ice cream cone. That I dripped all over myself.
- What does M.Night Shyamalan always order when he goes out for ice cream? A large twist cone.
- Michel J Fox walks into an ice cream parlor. He orders a large cone with two scoops what flavors does he choose? It doesn't matter he's just going to drop it anyway
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Cone One Liners
Which cone one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cone? I can suggest the ones about coop and elope.
- I'm fair-skinned. I have tattoos of ferris wheels, tilt-a-whirls and sno-cones.
- What do you call ice cream you eat in a car? A traffic cone!
- How do tree's like their ice cream? In a pine cone.
- I bought a TV from a guy wearing a white outfit and a white cone mask It was a 3k tv
- Where's the best place to store ice cream cones? Conetainers
- What do you call it when two ice creams want to have a child Cone-ception
- Why did the female snowman delete Tinder? She was getting too many snow cone pics.
- What does the ice-cream van man do to save his parking spot? Puts cones out.
- What happened to the ice cream cone that got ran over by a lawn mower? it was a la mowed
- I was playing tennis and eating an ice cream cone, I'm glad it was soft serve.
- What do you call a pin head with dandruff? A snow cone
- Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? Because he never had a father.
- Why did the pine tree fall over? It had too many cones
- I'm not racist, but... I enjoy eating snow cones on hot days.
- What do you call a pine cone that creates exact replicas of itself? A pine clone
Ice Cream Cone Jokes
Here is a list of funny ice cream cone jokes and even better ice cream cone puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Boy, you make me like an ice cream cone on a hot day. Dripping.
Laughable Cone Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles
What funny jokes about cone you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean horn jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make cone pranks.
Penguin Joke (kinda dirty)
One day there was a penguin driving in his car on a hot day. He is driving along when his car breaks down. He has his car towed to a mechanic who tells him that it might be a while to find out what's wrong with his car.
The penguin is getting impatient and it is really hot out. He sees an ice cream shop across the street so he goes over and gets and ice cream cone to cool off. He walks back to the mechanic eating his ice cream which melts and gets all over his face.
He asks the mechanic "did you find out what was wrong with my car." The mechanic looks up at him and says "looks like you blew a seal." The penguin wipes off his face and says "Nope, just ice cream."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A lady walks into an ice cream shop.
"Can I get a chocolate scoop on a cone?" she asks.
"Sorry, ma'am, but we're out of chocolate ice cream," says the man behind the counter.
"Oh, well then can I get a chocolate sundae?" she asks.
"We're out of chocolate," he repeats.
"Well, how about a chocolate milkshake?"
The man is frustrated at this point and decides to teach her a lesson.
"Ma'am, do you see the 'van' in vanilla?"
"Yes," she says.
"Do you also see the 'straw' in strawberry?"
"I do."
"Ma'am, do you see the 'frick' in chocolate?"
"There's no 'frick' in chocolate..."
"THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I Like The Way You Think
One day in school the teacher asks little Johnny,
"If there were five birds on the tree and you shoot two birds with your gun then how many would be left?"
"None because they would all fly away.", replies little Johnny.
"That is incorrect.", says the teacher, "there would be three left, but I like the way you think."
Then little Johnny asks the teacher,
"If there were three women on the bench with an ice cream cone, one bitting on the cone, the other s**... the cone, and the last one l**... her cone, which one is married?"
"The one s**... on the cone," guessed the teacher.
"That is incorrect," replies little Johnny," The one with the wedding ring on her finger is married, but I like the way you think."
A penguin was driving along...
A penguin was driving along when he smelled something burning. He took his car to a mechanic to get it checked out. The mechanic said "It'll be about an hour" so the penguin went walking around town. He stopped at an ice cream parlor and ordered a cone. The penguin tried eating the ice cream, but made a mess because of his flippers. He went back to the mechanic who had just got under his car. The mechanic rolled out from underneath and said "looks like you blew a seal". The penguin replied "no, it's ice cream".
A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down...
He gets towed to a garage in the nearest town. When he gets there, the mechanic says it will take a while to check it out, so the penguin goes across the street to an ice cream parlor. He goes in and orders a large vanilla cone, then sits on the patio and eats it.
Just as he's finishing, he sees the mechanic gesture to him. He jumps up and runs across the street to get the verdict.
"Well" said the mechanic. "It looks like you blew a seal."
"No, no" replied the penguin. "That's just ice cream. What about my car?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I like the way you think.
Teacher: "Four crows are on the fence. The farmer shoots one. How many are left?"
Little Johnny: "None."
Teacher: "Listen carefully; four crows are on the fence. The farmer shoots one. How many are left?"
Little Johnny: "None."
Teacher: "Can you explain that answer?"
Little Johnny: "One is shot. The others fly away. There are none left."
Teacher: "Well, that isn't the right answer. But I like the way you think."
Little Johnny: "Teacher, can I ask you a question?"
Teacher: "Sure."
Little Johnny: "There are three women in the ice cream shop. One is l**..., one is biting, and one is s**... her ice cream cone. Which one is married?"
Teacher: "The one s**... the cone."
Little Johnny: "No. The one with the wedding ring. But I like the way you think."
Little Johnny is in math class
And the teacher asks, "If five birds are in a tree and you shoot two, how many are left?"
Ecstatic, Johnny replies, "None, the rest fly away!"
The teacher replies, "No, there are 3. But I like your thinking."
So johnny asks, "There are three women each with an ice cream cone. Thr first just licks the tip, the second licks around the base, and the third licks all over and really gets into it. Which one is married?"
"Why, the third of course."
"No, the one with the ring on her finger, but I like your thinking."
So this penguin goes for a drive ...
So this penguin goes for a drive into town. Once there, his car breaks down, but fortunately right in front of the walrus' repair shop.
The walrus is working on another car but tells the penguin he'll take a look in a minute. The penguin decides to walk across the street to get something he's never tried before: an ice cream cone. He gets vanilla.
Of course, having no hands, he gets it all over himself, smearing the ice cream on his beak and face on his way back over to the walrus' repair shop.
The walrus, seeing the penguin, closes the hood and says "well, looks like you blew a seal."
The penguin says "ha, no, it's just ice cream."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So Jimmy, say I have 5 birds sitting on a porch...
Teacher says to Jimmy:
"So Jimmy, say I have 5 birds sitting on a porch and I knock one down with a stone, how many birds will be left on the porch?"
"None, Ms. Anderson. Once I knock the first one, all the others will be flying away"
"No Jimmy, the correct answer was 4, but I do like the way you think"
After a while Jimmy Raises his hand.
"Yes Jimmy?"
"Miss Anderson, say you are looking at three women eating an ice cream cone, one is l**... it, one is biting it and one is s**... it. How do you tell which one's the married one?"
"Well, the one s**... it I suppose"
"No Miss Anderson, It's the one that's wearing a ring, but I do like the way you think!"
A penguin's car breaks down..
So he goes to the nearest mechanic. The mechanic told the penguin that it'll be a little while until he figures out the problem. The penguin notices one of his favorite ice cream places down the road and decides to go grab a vanilla cone.
The penguin finishes his ice cream and heads back to the mechanic.
The penguin asks the mechanic if he has found the problem. The mechanic replies with "Well, it looks like you blew a seal."
The penguin then replies "No no no! I was just eating ice cream down the street I swear!"
My coworker was eating an ice cream cone on her lunch break when she caught me staring at her
"Hey what's up?" she said
"Oh nothing.. It's just that I want to ask for something but I'm afraid you'll misunderstand me." I replied
"Haha don't worry, I won't." She said reassuringly
"I wanna lick it." I said
She quickly extends the ice cream cone to me, to which I said:
"I knew you'd misunderstand."
A penguin is driving alone through the desert...
Along the highway he spots an ice-cream stand and pulls over for a cone. He tries to eat it while driving, but being a penguin and not having any thumbs, he gets most of it all over his face. A few miles down the road there is a loud *BANG*, and his car starts smoking and sputtering. He pulls over and calls a tow truck. The truck driver spends a few minutes looking under the hood and says, "Looks like you blew a seal."
"No no! Its just ice-cream!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So a father and son are sitting outside an icecream shop.
And three women walk out, one l**..., one s**... and one biting the icecream cone. The father asks the son, "which one of those girls is married?" The son replies "obviously the one s**... the cone"
"No son, the one with the wedding ring, but I like the way you think."
Sorry for grammar. I smart
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Little Johnny is in class...
The teacher asks the class, "there are 5 birds on the line, someone shoots one bird, how many are left?"
Johnny says none, because when the gun went off, there birds flew away. The teacher says, no there are 4 but I like the way you're thinking.
Johnny says ok teacher, there are 3 women sitting on a bench eating ice cream cones. The first one is lightly l**... the ice cream, the second is biting the ice cream and the third one gobbles the whole cone down. Johnny asks, which one is married? The teacher says, the one that gobbles the ice cream cone down? Johnny says, no, it's the one with the wedding ring on, but I like the way you're thinking.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I like the way you think ;)
A teacher is with her class and notices one student isn't paying attention. The teacher calls out the student, asking: There are seven birds on a wire and one gets shot. How many are left? The student replies, there would be no birds left because the noise of the one getting shot would scare the other birds off.
The teacher replied "Well the answer was 6 but I like the way you think. the student says, Now I have a question for you: There are three women on a park bench and they all have ice cream. One women is l**... the cone, the other one is shoving the whole thing in her mouth, and one is biting the cone. How do you know which one is married?
The teacher, blushing, replies, I guess the one shoving the whole cone in her mouth.
The student replies, No, its the one with the wedding ring but i like the way you think.
A penguin is driving down a desert road...
when his car begins to sputter. He pulls over into a service station and leaves his car with the mechanic. The penguin goes into a nearby ice cream shop and buys a vanilla ice cream cone to try and beat the heat. It's so hot outside that the ice cream begins to melt all over his hands and face as he eats it, leaving a mess. When he's finished his ice cream, he goes back to the service station to check on his car. The mechanic tells him "All fixed. Looks like you just blew a seal". The penguin replies, "No, it's just ice cream".
Why doesn't anyone go to Coney Island anymore?
It's too busy.
A penguin has car trouble and calls a mechanic
The mechanic arrives and says, "Not exactly sure what the problem is, I'll probably need 30 minutes before I can give an accurate diagnostic"
So the penguin walks down the street and buys an ice cream cone, sits on a bench outside and while he's eating the ice cream cone he falls asleep, getting ice cream all over his stomach. He wakes up an hour later and sprints off to his car and mechanic.
"Sorry I'm late!", says the penguin.
"Well, looks like you blew a seal", the mechanic says
"What? No I was just eating ice cream" replies the penguin.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the Tourette's ice cream cone?
It takes a l**..., and keeps on ticcing.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
White robe with a cone top was really popular among the members of k**....
It was a cult classic.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm so pale...
I'm so pale that when I went outside last winter, the neighborhood kids said, "Hey, look! Frosty's on a diet!"
I'm so pale that when I worked in the ice cream parlor and was giving a kid his vanilla cone, he started l**... my hand.
I'm so pale that my house is listed as haunted. It was built last year!
I'm so pale that when I went to confession, the priest told me to eat a clove of garlic.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man went to the ice cream shop and ordered a chocolate cone...
I'm sorry, Sir, we're out of chocolate.
Oh, that's too bad. I'll have a chocolate cone with sprinkles then.
I'm sorry, Sir, but like I told you, we're out of chocolate.
How about a chocolate/vanilla twist, then?
Let me ask you something. How do you spell the 'van' in 'vanilla'?
V-a-n.
OK! We're on the same page! And how do you spell the 'straw' in 'strawberry'?
S-t-r-a-w.
Right, and lastly, how do you spell the f**...' in 'chocolate'?
There is no f**...' in 'chocolate'.
THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU!
A man walked into the doctor's surgery
He had half a bun on his head, a sausage behind his ear, several pickles in his shirt and an ice cream cone on his foot.
The doctor took one look and said
"Im afraid you're not eating properly."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The cast of The Wizard of Oz go out for ice cream.
The Lion stops l**... his cone, yelling, "Ouch!" and gripping his temples.
The Tinman stops l**... his cone, yelling, "Ouch!" and gripping his temples.
Dorothy stops l**... her cone, yelling, "Ouch!" and gripping her temples.
The Scarecrow says, "What's the matter with you guys?"
