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Conductive Jokes

99 conductive jokes and hilarious conductive puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about conductive that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Best Short Conductive Jokes

Short conductive jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The conductive humour may include short jokes also.

  1. My son kept chewing on electrical chords, so I grounded him... He's doing better currently and conducting himself properly.
  2. My son was chewing on electrical cords so i had to ground him.. He is doing better currently and conducting himself properly
  3. I caught my daughter chewing on an electrical cable. So I had to ground her and kept her at ohm
    She's doing better currently .
    And conducting herself properly
  4. We conducted an online survey.... ...and found that out of the world's population, 0% of people are Amish.
  5. What do you do when your son has started eating electrical cords? You ground him until he conducts himself properly.
  6. A study conducted by a group of scientists shows that women that have more than 25% body fat live longer than the men who mention it to them
  7. My son has been eating electrical cords. What do I do? Ground him until he conducts himself properly.
  8. My son was chewing electrical wires everyday. So I grounded him until he conducts himself properly.
  9. i caught my son chewing on electrical cords. so i had to ground him. he's doing better currently, and now conducting himself properly.
  10. My son was chewing on electrical cords. So I had to ground him. Made sure he was conducting himself properly.

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Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about conductive can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of conductive puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Conductive One Liners

Which conductive one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with conductive? I can suggest the ones about and .

  1. My son was eating electrical cords So I grounded him till he conducted himself properly
  2. What was the musician doing when he was struck by lightning? He was conducting.
  3. Why does lightning shock people? Because it doesn't know how to conduct itself.
  4. why can't coffee conduct electricity? because it is grounded
  5. So my kid was eating electric cables So I had to ground him until he conducts better
  6. How does Ohm conduct an orchestra? Standing on his head!
  7. Why did the electrician get killed in a debate? He used conductive reasoning.
  8. Lighting strikes an orchestra who gets hit first? The conducter
    .... I'll see myself out
  9. Why did Mozart run to the bathroom? To conduct his next movement.
  10. Buzzfeed Top 10 least conductive items! Number 6 won't shock you
  11. Where did fraudulent stone age people conduct business? The concave.
  12. What do you call it when a cow breaks the law? Dis'udder'ly conduct
  13. Once, my mom caught me conducting lightning... ...so she grounded me.
  14. Broke up with my girlfriend because she stopped conducting electricity. She is Ex-Static.
  15. Did you know that Bob Ross secretly conducted bank heists? He was the Rob Boss.

Conductive Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about conductive you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make conductive prank.

I've been conducting a survey on the general public's thoughts on blenders.

So far it has had mixed reactions.

A New Study Conducted on Asians (A joke I came up with,but still not sure if a repost)

A new study conducted on Asians shows that the long held to be true stereotype is partially false. In fact, only 50% of Asians have small p**....
The other 50% are women.

You may not be aware of it, but NASA conducted an experiment during the Apollo mission days.

They launched a collection of cows into orbit on a prototype rocket.
It was a herd shot round the world.

A new test was conducted to study how fat Americans are getting; the test results are as follows:

60% are deemed overweight
30% are deemed morbidly obese
10% ate the test

A study was just conducted to see what the #1 fear in humans is

The results came back, and it's cats. But something seems a little off. They've only done testing on mice so far

Ninety-sixing is how dyslexic people perform the s**... position where both partners are conducting o**... s**... on each other at the same time.

A recently conducted study reveals...

Birthdays are good for health
people with more birthdays were found to have lived longer

UN Food Survey Fails...

UN Phone Survey

Last month, a world-wide telephone survey was conducted by the UN.

The only question asked was:

"Would you please give your honest opinion about possible solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"

The survey was a complete failure because:

In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.

In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.

In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.

In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.

In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.

In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.

In the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.

And in Australia , New Zealand and Britain everyone hung up as soon as they heard the Indian accent.

What did the physicist say to the two women he was trying to pick up at the bar?

"Do you ladies wanna go back to my place and conduct a double slit experiment?"

When Yoshi gets sick from eating too many goombas, what procedure should Dr. Mario conduct?

A Nintendoscopy!

What did the scientist who was conducting s**... experiments on dogs say to his partner?

"If you need me, I'll be in the lab."

A new study has shown that women who get more sleep have better s**....

Unfortunately, the study was conducted by Bill Cosby

r**... Gamers

A recent survey conducted asked about a thousand 13-year old gamers what they had done last week.
92% said "your mum"

I was thrown out of the hospital for improper conduct with children

Apparently dressing up like the grim reaper and pointing at anti-vaxxer's kids isn't okay.

A blind judge conducted a trial..

And even after no one managed to provide a substantial incriminating evidence he still condemned the defendant.
he couldn't see the truth.

I went to the doctor today...

I went to the doctor today and after speaking to me for a few minutes he told me I would have to stop m**.... I asked him why and he said "because I'm trying to conduct an examination and it's distracting"

A recent study conducted in Germany by Professor Bernd Ottovordemgentschenfelde proves that 99.9% of people

skip his name

I just conducted a survey.

I asked 68 men and 2 women what their views were on equality.

Donald Trump has his daily intelligence briefing.

"We're almost done, Mr. President-Elect," says the man conducting the briefing, "just one more small piece of information."
"Bring it on."
"5 Brazilian soldiers were killed last night"
"That certainly isn't a good thing," replies Trump, "but if you don't mind, could you refresh my memory on one thing?"
"Of course, Mr. Trump, what do you need?"
"How many is a Brazilian?"

Why I Joined the Air Force

The DOD was conducting an all service briefing and the leader posed this question.
What would you do if you found a scorpion in your tent?
A sailor said, I'd step on it.
A soldier said, I'd squash it with my boot.
A marine said, I'd catch it, break the stinger off, and eat it.
An Airman said. I'd call room service and find out why there's a tent in my room.

A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman -

"Which book has helped you most in your life?"
The woman replied - "My husband's cheque book !!

According to a recent national poll, American's least favourite colour is...

Brown.
(Poll conducted by the Federal Elections Commission)

A Pope and a lawyer meet by the Pearly Gates.

A Lawyer and the Pope died at the same time, both went to heaven.
They were met at the Pearly Gate by St. Peter who conducted them to their rooms.
The Pope's room was spartan with bare floor, army cot for a bed, and a single bulb for light.
They came to the Lawyer's room.
It was huge with wall to wall carpeting, king sized water bed, indirect lighting, color TV, stereo, Jacuzzi and fully stocked bar.
The Lawyer said, "There must be a mistake. This must be the Pope's room!"
St Peter said, "There's no mistake. This is your room. We have lots of Pope's, but you're our very first Lawyer!"

Ranchers in Colorado are conducting a crucial experiment on the environmental sustainability of using h**... as a feed source for cattle.

The steaks have never been higher.

Did you hear that Snow White got arrested?

She was charged with unlawful s**... conduct with a miner.

A group of scientists conducted experiments on earthquakes

The results were ground breaking

Did you hear about the military drum major who was dishonorably discharged?

It was for conduct unbecoming.

Between the Stone Age and the Bronze Age, there was The Copper Age...

Back then, people really knew how to conduct themselves...

A scientist conducted a research on smartphone protection gear.

It was an interesting case study.

In a survey conducted in a land far far away it was found that....

6 our of 7 Dwarves are not happy

A man takes his goldfish to the vet

A man takes his pet goldfish to the vet and says "I think my goldfish has Epilepsy".
The vet conducts a thorough examination of the goldfish. Then he says to the man "I can't find anything wrong with this goldfish. I don't think it has Epilepsy."
To which the man replies "well you haven't even taken him out of the bowl yet."

My dad got fired recently for being such an irritated electrician

He never conducted himself positively at work

The US postal service releases a stamp of Donald Trump

After sometime, reports start to come in that the stamp was not sticking. Infuriated that his own stamps were not working, Trump conducted a $1,300,000 investigation to find out what happened. After eliminating all of the possibilities, they observe the post office to see if the fault was on the consumers end. They soon found out that people were spitting on the wrong side.

A group of scientists conducted an interesting experiment on frogs.

They wanted to see how cutting off the legs of frogs would affect them.
In one of the experiments, a scientist told the frog to jump. It didn't.
The scientists concluded that cutting off the legs of frogs would make them deaf.

My friend told me that he was sent to a therapy group for procrastinators.

They haven't conducted the first session yet.

Contradicting Coronavirus advice!

First, we hear alcohol may prevent the virus... now research suggests the opposite. Then we're told heat and humidity has no effect, but wait... direct sunlight might quickly kill the virus. So, if you come across some elderly bloke, standing in the yard, intoxicated and n**..., leave me alone... I'm conducting important medical research.

They have a lot in common

Both were loved by n**...
Both feared Americans
Both conducted regular bunker inspections

I conducted a COVID-19 survey by checking in on all the tinder matches I accumulated over the years.

Although my sample size may be insufficient, the results of the survey are devastating and tragic.
May they all rest in peace.

The results of a 3-year trial for a drug that prevents diabetes are in.

A scientist walks into his boss's office to brief him on the results.
"How did you conduct this study?" asked the boss,
"We gave a group of 300 participants our drug, at 3 doses a day, and another 300 a placebo. We then found the number of people in each group who had diabetes." replied the scientist.
"What did you find?"
"If you give a control group sugar pills 3 times a day for 3 years, they'll all get diabetes."

There was a kingdom at the sky conducted by the random caste system.

At the age of 18 everyone gets a random cloud between 1 and 10. 1 is the best. Two friends join to the draw and result arrives. The first one gets the cloud number 5 and rejoices for it. He sees his friend extremely happy and asks "What happened? Did you get the cloud 1?"
"No" he says. "I'm on cloud 9."

A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN.

The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge failure. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant. In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant. In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant. In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant. In South America they didn't know what "please" meant. And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.

I had a job interview yesterday...

The chap conducting the interview had a copy of my CV in front of him. He said to me
"It says here you're a man of mystery"
"That's correct" I replied
"Would you care to elaborate?"
"No"

A scientist is looking to conduct an experiment using dolphins

He goes to the pet store and asks the clerk if they have any dolphins
The clerk responds We don't have any dolphins, but would a whale work?
The scientist responds No thank you, that defeats the porpoise

I caught my son biting the electrical cord

I was shocked and grounded him. He resisted but I told him to stay positive. It's been a week, he's currently doing better and conducting himself properly.

A Lady was conducting her Anti-Drinking campaign outside a bar......

A man came out of the Bar exuding alcohol fumes.
The Lady asked him :"Tell me. If you arrive at the Gates of Heaven with your breath smelling of liquor, do you think the Lord will let you in?"
"My good woman" passionately holding her hand, said the man, "When I go to Heaven I expect to leave my breath behind."

A Lady was conducting her anti drinking campaign outside a bar.....

A heavily drunk man came out of the Bar exuding alcohol fumes. The Lady stopped him and said - "Tell me!!! If you arrive at the Gates of Heaven with your breath smelling of liquor... Do you think the Lord will let you in ???"
"My good woman" passionately holding her hand, said the man, "When I go to Heaven I expect to leave my breath behind."

Electrical Joke- I caught my son...

"I caught my son chewing on electrical cords. So I had to ground him. He's doing better currently and now conducting himself properly."

Why can't you take electricity to social events?

Because it doesn't know how to conduct itself.

A concerned parent calls their child's pediatrician and says, Recently my child has started eating power cords. What should I do?

Without missing a beat the doctor responds, depending on the current situation at home you need to ground him until he can conduct himself appropriately!

My son kept chewing on electrical cables so I finally had to ground him

Of course he denied the charge first, but later I found him coiled up in his room.
He's conducting himself better now, so I think that worked out.
Well that's the current situation anyways, but there's definitely potential for greater resistance.
Some days I just feel like I don't have the capacity for raising kids.
He can be a real live wire sometimes.

I caught my daughter chewing on our neighbour's electrical cable...

Thankfully, they didn't press charges
But, I had to ground her and keep her at ohm
She's doing better currently
And conducting herself properly
But she's still on a short fuse, as there seems to be some confission as to what she did wrong.

Switch Operator

This guy was applying for a job as a switch operator on the railroad. The engineer was conducting the interview. "What would you do if the Northern Express was heading north on Track 1 and the Southern Central was heading south on Track 1?" The guy thought. "Well, I'd call my brother." The engineer just sat there for a second. "Why on Earth would you call your brother?" "He's never seen a train wreck before."

It's easier to conduct undercover crime investigations on Reddit or Twitter.

You don't get followed easily.

You child is playing with wires and is getting electrocuted, what can you do?

Ground him until he can conduct himself properly.

First word in title should be "your"

My son has been eating electrical cords but I found a solution

I grounded him until he conducts himself properly.

As leader of the USSR, Gorbachev was allowed to conduct weddings

He liked to keep them brief:
Gorbachev: You want to marry her?
Groom: Da
Gorbachev: You want to marry him ?
Bride: Da
Gorbachev: Then so be it.
He was a master of the So-be-it union

Scientists have conducted blood tests on a frog to extract DNA and confirm its identity.

They have discovered that the frog was:-
30% Russian
30% French
20% Italian
10% Spanish
5% British
4% Dutch
And a tad Pole...!

Some historians were convinced that Jesus's birth place didn't exist

After extensive research they conducted that it Israel

A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN.

The only question asked was:
'Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world? The survey was a failure.
In Africa they didn't know what 'food' meant;
in India they didn't know what 'honest' meant;
in Europe they didn't know what 'shortage' meant;
in China they didn't know what 'opinion' meant;
in the Middle East they didn't know what 'solution' meant;
in South America they didn't know what 'please' meant;
in the USA they didn't know what 'the rest of the world' meant.

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these conductive jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.