Conducting Jokes
36 conducting jokes and hilarious conducting puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about conducting that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Conducting Short Jokes
Short conducting jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The conducting humour may include short conducted jokes also.
- My son kept chewing on electrical chords, so I grounded him... He's doing better currently and conducting himself properly.
- My son was chewing on electrical cords so i had to ground him.. He is doing better currently and conducting himself properly
- I caught my daughter chewing on an electrical cable. So I had to ground her and kept her at ohm
She's doing better currently .
And conducting herself properly - We conducted an online survey.... ...and found that out of the world's population, 0% of people are Amish.
- What do you do when your son has started eating electrical cords? You ground him until he conducts himself properly.
- A study conducted by a group of scientists shows that women that have more than 25% body fat live longer than the men who mention it to them
- My son has been eating electrical cords. What do I do? Ground him until he conducts himself properly.
- My son was chewing electrical wires everyday. So I grounded him until he conducts himself properly.
- i caught my son chewing on electrical cords. so i had to ground him. he's doing better currently, and now conducting himself properly.
- My son was chewing on electrical cords. So I had to ground him. Made sure he was conducting himself properly.
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Conducting One Liners
Which conducting one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with conducting? I can suggest the ones about conducts electricity and carrying.
- My son was eating electrical cords So I grounded him till he conducted himself properly
- What was the musician doing when he was struck by lightning? He was conducting.
- Why does lightning shock people? Because it doesn't know how to conduct itself.
- why can't coffee conduct electricity? because it is grounded
- So my kid was eating electric cables So I had to ground him until he conducts better
- How does Ohm conduct an orchestra? Standing on his head!
- Why did the electrician get killed in a debate? He used conductive reasoning.
- Lighting strikes an orchestra who gets hit first? The conducter
.... I'll see myself out - Why did Mozart run to the bathroom? To conduct his next movement.
- Buzzfeed Top 10 least conductive items! Number 6 won't shock you
- Where did fraudulent stone age people conduct business? The concave.
- What do you call it when a cow breaks the law? Dis'udder'ly conduct
- Once, my mom caught me conducting lightning... ...so she grounded me.
- Broke up with my girlfriend because she stopped conducting electricity. She is Ex-Static.
- Did you know that Bob Ross secretly conducted bank heists? He was the Rob Boss.
The Funniest Conducting Jokes for a Bone-Shaking Laugh
What funny jokes about conducting you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean operating jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make conducting pranks.
A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN.
The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge failure. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant. In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant. In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant. In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant. In South America they didn't know what "please" meant. And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
As leader of the USSR, Gorbachev was allowed to conduct weddings
He liked to keep them brief:
Gorbachev: You want to marry her?
Groom: Da
Gorbachev: You want to marry him ?
Bride: Da
Gorbachev: Then so be it.
He was a master of the So-be-it union
A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN.
The only question asked was:
'Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world? The survey was a failure.
In Africa they didn't know what 'food' meant;
in India they didn't know what 'honest' meant;
in Europe they didn't know what 'shortage' meant;
in China they didn't know what 'opinion' meant;
in the Middle East they didn't know what 'solution' meant;
in South America they didn't know what 'please' meant;
in the USA they didn't know what 'the rest of the world' meant.
What did the scientist who was conducting s**... experiments on dogs say to his partner?
"If you need me, I'll be in the lab."
Why I Joined the Air Force
The DOD was conducting an all service briefing and the leader posed this question.
What would you do if you found a scorpion in your tent?
A sailor said, I'd step on it.
A soldier said, I'd squash it with my boot.
A marine said, I'd catch it, break the stinger off, and eat it.
An Airman said. I'd call room service and find out why there's a tent in my room.
UN Food Survey Fails...
UN Phone Survey
Last month, a world-wide telephone survey was conducted by the UN.
The only question asked was:
"Would you please give your honest opinion about possible solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"
The survey was a complete failure because:
In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.
In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.
In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.
In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.
In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.
In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.
In the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
And in Australia , New Zealand and Britain everyone hung up as soon as they heard the Indian accent.
A New Study Conducted on Asians (A joke I came up with,but still not sure if a repost)
A new study conducted on Asians shows that the long held to be true stereotype is partially false. In fact, only 50% of Asians have small p**....
The other 50% are women.
A Pope and a lawyer meet by the Pearly Gates.
A Lawyer and the Pope died at the same time, both went to heaven.
They were met at the Pearly Gate by St. Peter who conducted them to their rooms.
The Pope's room was spartan with bare floor, army cot for a bed, and a single bulb for light.
They came to the Lawyer's room.
It was huge with wall to wall carpeting, king sized water bed, indirect lighting, color TV, stereo, Jacuzzi and fully stocked bar.
The Lawyer said, "There must be a mistake. This must be the Pope's room!"
St Peter said, "There's no mistake. This is your room. We have lots of Pope's, but you're our very first Lawyer!"
A new study has shown that women who get more sleep have better s**....
Unfortunately, the study was conducted by Bill Cosby
Ranchers in Colorado are conducting a crucial experiment on the environmental sustainability of using h**... as a feed source for cattle.
The steaks have never been higher.
