The Best 68 Condo Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Condo jokes. There are some condo miami jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these condo dealership puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Condo Jokes and Puns
Two condoms are walking past a gay bar..
One says to the other, "Want to get shitfaced?"
So two condoms walk into a bar..
.. They quickly realize that it is a gay bar. One condom turns to the other and says, "Dude. We are gonna get shitfaced tonight!"
What did one condom say to the other at
a gay bar?
Let's get shitfaced!
Two condoms walked up to a gay bar
One said to the other, "Wanna get shitfaced?"
Two condoms drive by a gay bar...
One turns to the other and says "let's get shit-faced!"
What do condoms and taxes have in common?
Republicans are against them and democrats want more for schools.
Condoms
A man walks into a shop to buy some condoms. The cashier asks 'would you like a bag with that?' To which the man replies 'No thanks, she's not that ugly'.
Do you know that condoms have serial numbers on them?
No? I guess you haven't rolled them down all the way.
Two condoms walk into a gay bar
Two condoms walk into a gay bar. One condom says to the other "hey man, let's get shitfaced."
Another sad news on an international celebrity...
Justin Bieber was found alive in her condo earlier today.
Condoms
are really counterproductive.
You can explore condo loft reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean condo jewelry dad jokes. There are also condo puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I go through condoms like a fat man goes through ice cream!
I probably shouldn't have bought the ice cream flavored ones.
Use condoms: because if she'd sleep with you, she'd sleep with anyone.
I just got condoms installed on my floor today
it protects the hardwood.
I didn't have a condom last night, so I used a sock...
She wouldn't stop complaining about cotton mouth.
Two condoms are walking down the street...
They pass a gay bar and one condom says to the other "hey, do you wanna get shit-faced?"
What do a condom and a fighter jet have in common?
A cockpit.
GRANDPA'S CONDOMS
An old man finds a condom in his grandson's apartment and asks what it is.
"It's a condom," replies the grandson, sheepishly.
"What do you use it for?" asks Grandpa.
The grandson is embarrassed, so he says, "I use it to keep my cigarettes dry when I smoke in the rain."
Grandpa says, "That's a great idea." He goes to the drug store and asks the pharmacist for a condom.
"What size would you like?" asks the pharmacist.
"Big enough to fit a Camel."
Condoms
1272AD - Arab Muslims invent the first condoms using the lower intestine of goats.
1856AD - English farmers improve on the idea by first removing the intestine from the goat.
Condom origins
Did you know the condom was invented in a small village in wales in the 12th century. They thought it would be a good idea to use the lower intestine of a sheep to stop their wives becoming pregnant.
Of course, in the 1350's, the English improved on the idea. They took the lower intestine out of the sheep before they used it.
Did you know condoms have serial numbers?
Oh, I guess you've never rolled one down far enough.
What do condoms and coffins have in common?
They both hold stiffs
Did you know that each condom has a serial number printed on it?
I guess you have never had to roll it back that far.
What is a condom with a hole?
Kinder Surprise
Two condoms walk past a gay bar...
one turns to the other and says "Hey, do you wanna get.....
shitfaced?"
(sorry if you saw this already)
Two condoms are walking down the street and stop outside of a gay bar.
The first condom turns to the second and says, Do you want to go in and get sh*t-faced?
A condom is like a plunger
You never know when you will need it but it's great to have just in case.
What are condoms?
Something your worthless fuckup of a father couldn't afford.
So two condoms walk into a bar...
One looks at the other and says "did you know this is a gay bar?"
"Well yeah" said the first condom, "I plan on getting shitfaced tonight."
A condom isn't completely safe.
A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus.
Why are condoms and bungee-jumping similar?
You're screwed if the rubber breaks.
"Condoms, please."
"Condoms, please."
"Do you need a bag for that?"
"No, she's not that ugly."
Condoms were invented by Arabic-Muslims sometime in the 1400s using lower goat intestine
They were later improved by the British in 1873 by taking the intestine out of the goat first
How are condoms like cameras?
They capture your special moments.
Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore....
My friend was wearing one and got shot by the woman's husband.
I don't use condoms.
They irritate my sores.
Did you know condoms have a serial number at the very bottom of the ring?
I guess you never had to roll it down that far.
Condom
Many years ago
Just before leaving to meet my first real girlfriend,
My Dad pulled me into his bedroom,
He opened his bedside drawer and handed me a condom.
With a wink he said, 'Take care, Son, I'm proud of you'
To this day I'm not sure what was worse:
My Dad's knowledge and pride in what I was about to do,
or
Having used a condom that was intended for my Mother.
The condom was first invented by a Welshman by using a sheep's intestine
The English later improved it by removing the intestine from the sheep first
What condom packs do rednecks buy?
Family-Size.
I don't think condoms are 100% safe
My friend was wearing one and he got hit by a bus!
Because of condoms, sex is the most expensive hobby ever
at like $1 for 10 seconds top
Two condoms walk into a gay bar...
One looks to the other and says, "Welp, looks like we're getting shit-faced"
A condom store should be called...
Dicks Sporting Hoods.
Two condoms are walking down the street, and stop in front of a gay bar...
...one condom turns to the other and asks, wanna get shitfaced?
Have you heard about the new condo complex for lesbians?
It's all tongue in groove construction. Not a stud in the whole place.
Condoms are like injured bones...
If they are broken you are screwed.
Two condoms walk past a gay bar
One asks the other, Hey, wanna go inside and get shit-faced?
Condoms are available in three sizes:
Small, medium, and liar.
Condoms do not guarantee safe sex
A friend of mine was wearing one when he was stabbed by the woman's husband
Condoms do not guarantee safe sex
I've been wearing one for months and still haven't gotten any sex
Did you know the first condoms were invented by the Welsh out of sheep's intestines?
The English improved on the invention by taking the intestines out of the sheep before using them.
Two condoms walk past a gay-bar.
One of them says to the other, Hey, whaddya say we go in there & get shit-faced?
Two condoms are walking down a street one night
Two condoms are waking down a street one night when they pass a gay bar. One turns to the other and says Hey, wanna get shit-faced?
What do condoms and turn signals have in common?
If people used them, there would be less accidents
99¢ condom
A young guy walks into a drugstore to buy a condom. He sees they are on sale for 99¢ each and luckily he has $1 on him. He gives the condom to the clerk.
Clerk: That'll be $1.04
Guy: I thought they were on sale for 99¢. What's the extra 5¢ for?
Clerk: Tax
Guy: Tacks!? I thought you rolled them on!!
Condom expiration dates are a little misleading
because I get sick no matter when I eat them.
Two condoms walk past a gay bar....
.... one turns to the other and says, "why dont we go in and get shitfaced?"
Condom holes
I'm starting to suspect my blonde girlfriend wants to become pregnant. She keeps poking holes in my condoms before we have sex. I just wish she would do it before I put it on.
Condoms cannot be considered safe
A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a car.
Why should you always use a condom when having sex with fruit?
Lemonaids
What do you call a house that organizes your stuff?
Marie Condo.
Condoms don't guarantee safe sex any more.
A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot dead by the woman's husband.
A condom and a mask are sitting together on a park bench.
A condom and a mask are sitting together on a park bench. The condom looks at the mask, and says they won't wear you either, huh?
2 condoms are walking past a gay bar.
One of them says to the other "Let's go in there and get absolutely shit-faced!"
John was excited to move into his new condo which was exactly below Dwayne Johnson's apartment. But soon he became ignorant & oblivious to things happening around him. Why?
Because John was living under The Rock.
Did you know that the very first condoms were invented by the Welsh, using sheep intestines?
But it wasn't until the 19th century that the English perfected it by removing it from the sheep first
Condom expiration dates are so misleading
I get sick regardless of when I eat them.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the condo bracelet jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working condo floridian piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.