Condi Jokes

Following is our collection of rice puns and decipher one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Condi jokes for adults, dirty alive jokes and clean sends dad gags for kids.

The Best Condi Puns

I have two conditions in my will...

1) I want my remains spread around Disney World

2) I do not want to be cremated

I have a condition where I spontaneously tell jokes at random times

I think it's a gag reflex.

Osama Bin Laden sends George W. Bush a coded message

Osama Bin Laden sends George W. Bush a coded message to let him know he is still alive:-
"370H SSV 0773H." Bush is baffled. Condi Rice and her aides and even the FBI and CIA
can't decipher it. So they ask Britain's MI6 for help. Within a minute MI6 replies:-
"Er, tell the President he's holding the message upside down."

I have a condition where I feel the need to steal library books.

I should probably get that checked out.

Did you know there is a condition that causes ones hair to be soft and healthy

The condition is called "er," but most people call it conditioner

I have a condition that makes me eat when I can't sleep

It's called insom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nia

I have a condition; Whenever I look at books of any kind...

I want to touch my shelf...


A man was sitting in a pub when all of a sudden the most beautiful woman ever walked up to the bar and sat down next to him. The man immediately asked her what the conditions would be to make her his wife. 'Three things' she said 'First you would need a huge house with a swimming pool, second an expensive car and third a 9 inch dick'.
'Oh' the man replied 'The house wouldn't be a problem, nor would the car be, but I'm not taking three inches off my dick!'

I have a condition where I always leave off the last word in a-

It's usually okay, but it usually makes everything a cliff-

What condition did the environmentalist wake up with every day after a local forest fire?

Mourning Wood...

There's this condition where twins are connected at the elbow and always laugh together, never separately.

It's called conjoined Humor

Is there a condition called "melanism" ... white people, the opposite of albinoism in black folks?

Because, if not, she's got some explaining to do.

I have this condition, I wake up at ten to nine every day...

Doctor says it is nothing serious just a mild case of ten-to-ninetis.

What condition is it called when someone has chemotherapy and a limited number of days to live?

What you thought there was some punch line. No. It was cancer. My dad has cancer.

What's the best condiment to eat when you are constipated?


My conditioner says it normalizes dry itchy scalp...

My scalp still itches but now so do all my friend's.

What's the only condiment that says hey


Here are another two conditions to my will

1. I wish you to dance on my grave
2. I wish to be buried at sea

What was the condiment stand charged with?

*A salt* with a deadly weapon.

What condition do incels have?

A irrational fear of objects.

My condition is hopeless?? Oh GOD! Level with me doc....What is it??!?!?


There is an abundance of emergency jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 21 funniest jokes and condi puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any bush witze you can hear about condi.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes