Condescending Jokes
133 condescending jokes and hilarious condescending puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about condescending that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Condescending Short Jokes
Short condescending jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The condescending humour may include short patronizing jokes also.
- What do you call a snobbish criminal falling down the stairs? A condescending con descending.
- Today I saw a dwarf laughing as he climbed down a prison wall And I thought, "That's a little condescending"
- My co-worker doesn't like me, because he thinks I'm condescending. (That means I talk down to people.)
- My new year's resolution is I'm going to be less condescending. And by the way, condescending means talking down to people.
- I was going to repost this really condescending joke I read, but... you guys didn't get it last time, and probably wont get it this time either.
- What do you call a snobbish prisoner going down the stairs? A condescending con descending.
- I'm sure wherever my dad is he's looking down on us. He's not dead, just very condescending.
- I'm tired of people constantly being so condescending about everything (That means to talk down to someone)
- I hate it when jokes are condescending Condescending is a word that means to talk down to someone.
- After lockdown I'm going to be less condescending. (Condescending means to talk down to people)
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Condescending One Liners
Which condescending one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with condescending? I can suggest the ones about degrading and pretentious.
- Someone told me I'm condescending That means I talk down to people.
- My girlfriend says I'm way too condescending… (That means I speak down to people)
- I saw a dwarf climbing down a prison wall It was a little condescending
- What do you call a scam artist who is walking down the stairs? Condescending
- I saw a midget climbing over a prison wall It was a little condescending
- I've been trying to be less condescending You *do* know what that means right?
- My dad told me to stop been so condescending (That's where you talk down to people)
- Condescending people are the worst!!!! it means they talk down to others
- What do you call a Skydiving criminal Condescending
- I'm never condescending That's when you talk down to people.
- What do you call a rappelling thief? Condescending
- What do you call criminal crawling down a building. A condescending
- What do you call a Greek man abseiling? Condescending
- I just saw a convict on an elevator heading to the ground floor He was condescending.
- What do you call a condescending bootlegger? A smuggler.
Experience Good Cheer with Hilarious Condescending Jokes and Friends
What funny jokes about condescending you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean humble jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make condescending pranks.
Ralph is driving home one evening, when he suddenly realizes that it's his daughter's birthday and he hasn't bought her a present. He drives to the mall, runs to the toy store, and says to the shop assistant, "How much is that Barbie in the window?" In a condescending manner, she says, "Which Barbie?" She continues, "We have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach for $19.95, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.00." Ralph asks, "Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.00 when all the others are only $19.95?" "That's obvious," the saleslady says. "Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, Ken's boat, Ken's furniture..."
A guy takes his talking dog to a talent scout.
This dog can speak English, he claims to the unimpressed agent. Okay, Sport, the guys says to the dog, what's on the top of a house?
Roof! the dog replies.
Oh, come on… the talent agent responds. All dogs go 'roof'.
No, wait, the guy says. He asks the dog, What does sandpaper feel like?
Rough! the dog answers. The talent agent gives a condescending blank stare. He is losing his patience. No, hang on, the guy says. This one will amaze you. He turns and asks the dog, Who, in your opinion, was the greatest baseball player of all time?
Ruth! goes the dog. And the talent scout, having seen enough, boots them out of his office onto the street.
The dog turns to the guy and says, Maybe I shoulda said DiMaggio?
A philosopher and a priest argue about their beliefs
So the priest says to the philosopher condescendingly: "Look friend, what you're doing is, you're looking in a pitch-black room with blinded eyes for a black cat that simply isn't there."
The philosopher thinks for a minute, nodding his head, and answers, "You're right, but I do it almost exactly like you. You too are looking in a pitch-black room with blinded eyes for a black cat that isn't there - but you then go on and try to make everyone believe that you found it."
Ruth! (not sure if repost)
A guy has a talking dog. He brings it to a talent scout. "This dog can speak English," he claims to the unimpressed agent. "Okay, Sport," the guys says to the dog, "what's on the top of a house?" "Roof!" the dog replies. "Oh, come on..." the talent agent responds. "All dogs go 'roof'." "No, wait," the guy says. He asks the dog "what does sandpaper feel like?" "Rough!" the dog answers. The talent agent gives a condescending blank stare. He is losing his patience. "No, hang on," the guy says. "This one will amaze you. " He turns and asks the dog: "Who, in your opinion, was the greatest baseball player of all time?" "Ruth!" goes the dog. And the talent scout, having seen enough, boots them out of his office onto the street. And the dog turns to the guy and says "Maybe I shoulda said DiMaggio?"
What do you call a small prisoner abseiling down a wall?
A little condescending
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So I was driving by a penitentiary this one time back home, and I saw a group of convicts at the perimeter fence trying to climb over.
The rest were hurrying on this one of them, who appeared to be a midget, and was having some difficulty scaling it.
All of a sudden, the biggest one just picked him up by an arm and a leg and tossed him right up & over!
And as he fell, I thought to myself,"Well, that's a little condescending."
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At a small London pub,
3 girls are chatting. An Englishman hears them and notices their distinctive accent that he so easily recognizes. He approaches then smoothly and asks: "are you girls from Scotland?"
In a condescending tone, one of them turns around and says: "It's Wales, idiot!"
"Oh I'm sorry, are you whales from Scotland?"
Thought up this one in class today. (OC) "What did the one gravedigger say to the other as they lowered the body of a patronizing embezzler into his grave?"
"It's always nice to see a condescending con descending".
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I saw a dwarf escaping from jail down the side of a wall
As he passed by, he sneered at me, and I thought, "That's a little condescending."
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What do you call a smug criminal going down stairs?
A Condescending Con Descending.
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What do you call it when Condoleezza rice pushes a stuck-up criminal down a flight of stairs?
Conde sending condescending con descending.
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My father's such a condescending man ...
Since he died he's always looked down on me.
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Anyone else here able to spell "condescending narcissist" correctly on the first try?
Yeah, I didn't think so.
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Do you want to hear a really condescending joke?
... Do you even know what that means?
People tell me I'm condescending
It's ok if you don't know what that means
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A man sees a midget in an orange jumpsuit climbing down a jail from a rope...
...he looks at him for a second, and says,"Well, that's a little condescending."
Which Barbie?
Ralph is driving home one evening, when he suddenly realizes that it's his daughter's birthday and he hasn't bought her a present. He drives to the mall, runs to the toy store, and says to the shop assistant, "How much is that Barbie in the window?" In a condescending manner, she says, "Which Barbie?" She continues, "We have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach for $19.95, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.00." Ralph asks, "Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.00 when all the others are only $19.95?" "That's obvious," the saleslady says. "Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, Ken's boat, Ken's furniture..."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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Today I saw a midget escaping from prison with a ladder.
He was a little condescending.
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A midget was escaping prison...
A midget was escaping prison. I watched him as he climbed over the fence. On the way down he smirked at me.
I thought to myself, "well that's a little condescending".
What do you call a peaceful Indian sending a picture in the mail of a snobbish criminal going down stairs?
Ghandi-sending a condescending con descending
Sorry.. I'm tired
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What do you call a criminal dwarf in an escalator?
A little con-descending
What do you call a fugitive, talking down to you while fleeing down the stairs?
a condescending con descending.
What do you call a Greek skydiver?
Condescending
What do you call a prisoner in a plane?
Condescending
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What do you call a sneaky criminal that thinks he's superior to everyone walking down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
When talking to people on the internet, calling someone condescending and pretentious is condescending and pretentious.
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A man is walking by a prison....
...when he sees a midget climbing out one of the cells at the top of the prison. The midget is climbing down a rope when he turns around and sees the man on the street. The midget flips off the men and continues to climb down the rope.
The man says to himself, "Wow, that's a little condescending."
Barbie Dolls
Ralph is driving home one evening, when he suddenly realizes that it's his daughter's birthday and he hasn't bought her a present. He drives to the mall, runs to the toy store, and says to the shop assistant, "How much is that Barbie in the window?"
In a condescending manner, she says, "Which Barbie?" She continues, "We have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach for $19.95, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.00."
Ralph asks, "Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.00 when all the others are only $19.95?"
"That's obvious," the saleslady says. "Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, Ken's boat, Ken's furniture..."
Heard this joke from a friend today!
I was lucky enough to run into Terrence Howard in the street, and I told him that I saw his latest movie once.
Condescendingly, as if I were an idiot, he replied, "Don't you mean... two times?"
What do you call a Greek guy walking down the stairs?
Con-Descending
Somebody accused me of being condescending today...
...by the way, condescending is shown or characterized by a patronizing or superior attitude toward others.
Do you know what the difference is between patronising and condescending?
Condescending is where you talk down to someone. Don't you worry your pretty little head about it though.
When people get condescending about social issues...
"Hey, Flo just called... They want you back at Progressive."
I like to tell the bad joke about condescending
so I can overexplain it in simple terms.
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During a prison break, I saw a midget climb the fence of the prison yard. As he jumped down, he sneered at me...
I thought to myself, "well, that was a little con-descending."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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Did you hear about the s**... inmate who stole an airplane and parachuted out?
He was a condescending con descending.
^^^I'll ^^^be ^^^here ^^^all ^^^week, ^^^try ^^^the ^^^veal.
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What do you call a pretentious criminal going down a flight of stairs?
A condescending condescending
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There was a prison break and I locked eyes with a midget as he climbed up the fence.
As he jumped over he sneered at me and I thought, "Well, that's a little condescending."
Did you hear about the snarky prisoner who smarted off to the guard on the elevator?
He was a condescending con, descending.
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Can you people please stop being so condescending and passive-aggressive?
Thanks!
5 Tips To Improve Your Writing
1. Contractions aren't necessary.
2. Do not overuse exclamation points!!!!!!
3. Don't be redundant, because it can be boring to read the same things over and over again, just restated.
4. Do not appear condescending to your readers. "Condescending" means to look down upon someone.
5. Do not leave hanging prepositions around.
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Why are p**... heads always so condescending?
They always think they're higher then others
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I saw a Dwarf who had escaped from prison climbing over a chain link fence. As he was climbing down the other side he scowled and stuck his tongue out at me and ran away...
I said to myself "That was a little condescending"
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I'm not condescending!
Try and count how many times I've been condescending! Exactly; you can't cause you're a d**....
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I made a joke about a midget criminal running down the stairs. The punchline is a little condescending.
Ba dum *tss*
What do you call an snobbish Mongolian ruler going down the stairs?
A condescending Khan descending.
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I was getting off an airplane, when I passed a little boy who was waving and saying "Bye, plane!"...
"No, this isn't a biplane." I said, as the kid's dad immediately gave me a condescending look.
I went on, "You can't tell its s**... preference based just on how it looks."
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I saw a convict climbing down a ladder from prison.
As he was coming down he started to curse at me, and then It hit me, I just saw a condescending condescending.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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While I was watching the prison wall, a little midget starting climbing over it and smirked at me
And I thought to myself, "That's a little condescending".
Today my friend accused me of being condescending.
It's ridiculous, I don't even think he knows what that word means.
At the spelling bee
"Your word is 'condescending'."
"Can you use it in a sentence?"
"Of course I can. Can YOU?"
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Condescending
A midget convict was escaping out of a window, and as he lowered himself down I was walking past, and we made eye contact and he sneered at me and I thought "that's a little condescending". (Say it out loud)
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I take the bus to school
So every morning I take the bus to campus. On the way, it stops by the local prison.
This morning, while we were stopped by the prison, I heard a loud c**.... I look to my right and I see what used to be a window, now shattered.
I'm looking at the window, and I see some rope fly out. Following the rope, I see an inmate. A rather small inmate. As a matter of fact, the man was a dwarf.
I stared at him in awe. As he made his way down the rope towards freedom, he notice me observing him. He gave me the stink eye. I thought to myself:
Wow, that's a little condescending.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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I saw a dwarf escaping prison yesterday, and as he was climbing down the outer fence he turned and sneered at me.
I thought to myself, that's a little condescending.
My girlfriend often accuses me of telling sexist, condescending jokes that target women.
I've explained to her those jokes are actually ironic jabs at the current state of post-modern feminism, designed to highlight societal double standards across genders.
So she needn't worry her pretty little head about it.
What did the condescending chef say to its cooperative dish?
"Hey, thanks for being such a dal."
What do you call a snarky thief going down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
Sorry if this is a repost. Heard it yesterday and thought you all would enjoy.
What did the burglar say as he escaped down the stairs?
I didn't quite catch it, but I'll bet it was condescending.
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So a prison break was happening...
And I happened to be walking around when it happened. It had a huge wall, and I saw someone climbing down from it. Turns out I knew the guy, he's a famous midget con artist that I ratted out. As he climbed down, he gave me this wretched look.
It was a little condescending.
What do you call a Greek guy falling off a cliff?
Condescending .............
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What do you call a pretentious criminal who is going down an escalator?
A condescending con descending.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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What do you call a rude convict going downstairs?
A condescending con descending.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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A criminal talked down to me on an escalator today.
He was a condescending con descending.
Jeff - I found this great new way to be condescending to people
Jill - What is it?
Jeff - It's when you talk down to people.
Little Nancy, 8, was filling a hole in her garden when
the nosey neighbor peered over the fence, and asked "What are you doing?"
Nancy replied, "Well my goldfish dies so I just buried him"
The obnoxious neighbor laughed and said in a condescending tone, "That is an awful big hole for a tiny gold fish"
As Nancy used her shovel to pat down the last heap of earth she replied, "Well he's in your cat"
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I just saw a midget escaping from prison by climbing down the wall! Half way down, he turned his head and grimaced at me.
I thought: That's a little condescending.
So i just saw a bank robber jump down some stairs while yelling about how terrible the cops were
guess you could say he was condescending
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Some people accuse me of being condescending
Oh sorry, that's when you talk to people like they're s**....
How did the prison guard react when the inmate arrived on the elevator?
Very condescending.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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I was walking past the prison last night
When I saw this short man, no more than 5 feet tall, dressed in an orange jumpsuit climbing over the fence, escaping from the prison yard. As he was climbing down, he saw me and stuck out his tongue at me. I remember thinking, That's a little condescending.
