Concussion Jokes

Following is our collection of recovery puns and retina one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Concussion jokes for adults, dirty whiplash jokes and clean hamstring dad gags for kids.

The Best Concussion Puns

John has 20 watermelons and tim has none. John threw one watermelon at tim, what does tim have now?

A concussion.

What do you call a head injury at a drummer's convention in Moscow, Russia?

A concussion at the Russian percussion discussion.

Last year Hillary got a concussion. Obama recently bumped into Clinton and asked "Bill, how is Hillary's head?"

"Not as good as Monica"

Concussions aren't real

It's all in your head

A man worked at construction site...

...and is brought to emergency room with concussion and skull fracture.

His wife, furious, comes to hospital.

"What happened?!"

"Well, I asked John to throw me the hammer..."

"And then what?! You didn't catch it?"

"In matter of fact *I did*. But then I remembered we have 3 guys named John working on our site..."

After a night of drinking, John walks into a metal bar

The music was great and he hooks up with a beautiful blonde.

He awakes at the hospital with a mild concussion.

A homophobic man walks into a gay bar

He gets a concussion. Turns out gay steel is just as hard as straight steel.

A wise man once told me that you should love with your heart and use your head for everything else

He died of a concussion

A very tall and handsome man walks into a bar

and suffers a mild concussion.

A mailman, a boy, and a unicorn walk into a bar.

The woman gets a concussion, some stitches, and a diagnosis of dissociative identity disorder.

A guy walks into a bar

-- and sustains a mild concussion.

A guy runs into a bar...

and gets a concussion.

A man ran into a bar...

And died of concussion.

18th Century Arms Dealer Receives Concussion on First Day at Work

A burgeoning blunderbuss broker braved and bore the brunt of a bludgeoning to the brain.

How do you give a vampire a concussion?

Hit it with a bat

What does autocorrect and women have in common?

They both jump to concussion

a man walks into a bar

He gets a concussion.

Why did the Doctor think the Panda had a concussion?

It kept calling saying its head was fuzzy.

Two Giants walk into a bar

One gets a concussion, and the other breaks right through.

I fell and hit my head on my drum set today...

Me: Dad, I think I have a concussion
Dad: No son, you have a PER-cussion

Doctor! I think I have a concussion!

Doctor: "Dont worry, Its all in your head"

I was training to be a maths teacher until a concussion regressed my ability to when I was 12.

I suppose its back to 1^2.

I thought someone was robbing my house...

So I walked downstairs and that's when it hit me. I woke up two days later with a concussion

I've only ever had one concussion in my life.

I hope.

Two guys walk into a bar

They both had a concussion

I remember my first concussion like it was yesterday...

I don't remember yesterday.

What happens when you dress your dog as a cat for Halloween and show him how he looks in the mirror?

He gets a concussion, Ba Da Taaa.

A guy walks into a bar

Then gets a concussion

Two men walk into a bar...

One of them gets a concussion and the other gets a bruise on his forehead.

A guy walks into a bar...

...and is promptly hospitalized with a concussion.

A guy walked into a bar...

And we're just kind of standing around to see if the paramedics think it's a concussion or not.

There is an abundance of paramedic jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 31 funniest jokes and concussion puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any ankle witze you can hear about concussion.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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