Conclusion Jokes
100 conclusion jokes and hilarious conclusion puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about conclusion that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
A conclusion joke is a type of joke where the punchline is derived from an erroneous jump into a conclusion. The humor of these jokes often lies in the unexpected twist caused by the false inference. They can range from innocuous jokes involving intervals, to more sophisticated ones involving factorials. Read on to laugh at these jokes and find out why they work!
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Funniest Conclusion Short Jokes
Short conclusion jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The conclusion humour may include short concluded jokes also.
- I'm starting to think Jews really do run this country but don't want to jump to conclusions, this my first time visiting Israel
- I was wondering where you guys get all these funny dad jokes from? Then I came to the conclusion that they're just all kept in a dadabase.....
I'll see myself out
🚪🚶🏾♂️ - I asked my parachute instructor what happens if it doesn't open. He said you're jumping to a conclusion.
- There's this hot girl in my college writing class. Her body is a 10, but her intro and conclusion need some work.
- Top Biblical experts have reached the conclusion that Adam and Eve were Soviet citizens They had no clothes, one apple between the two of them and they thought they were in paradise.
- I asked my girlfriend if she does any other exercises... Other than jumping to conclusions.
- Study reveals 20% of men kiss wife goodbye when they leave the house. 80% of men kiss house goodbye when they leave their wife. Conclusion. Want to keep your house, start kissing your wife.
- Why did the introduction and the conclusion break up? They were just never on the same page...
- People always jump to ridiculous conclusions. Like thinking, for some reason, that my dads are gay.
- After extensive research I've come to the conclusion that 10 is smaller than 5! I finally understand factorials!
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Conclusion One Liners
Which conclusion one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with conclusion? I can suggest the ones about summary and verdict.
- My girlfriend said I'm terrible in bed But it's unfair to make a conclusion in 17 seconds
- When your body is a solid 10 But your intro and conclusion need work
- Yo mama is so fat that she can’t even jump to a conclusion.
- I wonder how many calories women burn by... ... jumping to conclusions.
- I knew my life was over when the fourth assassin shot me… It was a four gun conclusion.
- What do you call Skydiving when the parachute doesn't work?
Jumping to a conclusion.. - There are two kinds of people... ...
Those who need to hear the conclusion...
...
... - Iv come to the conclusion, I'm the white stuff in a Oreo In between two hard black things
- What's a woman's favorite sport? Jumping to conclusions!
- There's nothing sexier than a good finale Many people come to that conclusion
- Confucius say... man who jump off cliff, jump to conclusion.
- Interviewer : This says you tend to jump to conclusions . Me: So I'm hired?
- Yo momma's so fat she can't even jump to a conclusion.
- Joke 5366 Sub-version 8.41 ...........conclusion 1.4b (the not safe for work ending)
- What do you call it when your parachute doesn't open? Jumping to conclusion
Jump Into Conclusion Jokes
Here is a list of funny jump into conclusion jokes and even better jump into conclusion puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I really don't understand how Karen's aren't in better shape... They're always stretching the truth and jumping to conclusions
- Why did the conspiracy theorist have such strong legs? Because he spent so much time jumping to conclusions
- There should be a female only sport in the Olympics called Conclusions. Women jump to them every day.
- What's faster than the speed of light? The speed of *how fast my wife jumps to conclusions*
- I'm pretty sure someone hid the last paragraph of my essay on a shelf that I can't reach, But I don't want to jump to conclusions.
- Man to friend: " The doctor told my wife she should do some exercise." Friend: "And is she doing this?
Man: "Well, she is - if jumping to conclusions and running up bills can be called exercise!" - the say the average redditor doesn't exercise, but they're wrong! I just spent an hour jumping *to conclusions* and running *my mouth*!
- Whenever you hear someone say... ...Bush did 9/11. Simply tell them "Don't JUMP to conclusions."
Thanks /u/Hammi1 - My wife loves sports... Her favorite position is beside herself, and her favorite sport is jumping to conclusions.
- I tell people to hold their horses before jumping to conclusions. I just want them to have stable lives.
Conclusion Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about conclusion you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean consequences jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make conclusion pranks.
I've come to the conclusion that my s**... life s**....
I was m**... the other day, and my hand fell asleep.
Economists...
If all the economists in the world were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion.
The day after Beethoven's f**...
The day after Beethoven's f**..., at midnight, a drunken man, having just left the bar, went into the graveyard, where he heard a strange sound. Looking for the source of the mysterious sound, he discovered it was coming from Beethoven's grave. Alarmed, he called his friends, and found they could hear the sound too (even the sober ones).
Soon, a crowd was forming at the graveyard. The mayor, who was very familiar with classical music, recognized the sound as Beethoven's 9th Symphony played backwards. When it ended, Beethoven's 8th Symphony started playing, also backwards, and then the 7th, and then the 6th, and so forth. At dawn, having reached a conclusion, the mayor said to the gathering crowd:
"There's nothing to fear, gentlemen. He's just decomposing."
Socrates on jokes...
Socrates: Define, for me, a punch line.
Hippias: A punch line is at the end of a joke.
Socrates: Is it a punch line simply by virtue of being at the end of said joke?
Hippias: No, it must be an unexpected statement.
Socrates: Ah, but if you know that the punch line is about to arrive, how can it be unexpected?
Hippias: True. Therefore, there can be no punch line to any joke, for such a punch line is always to be expected.
Socrates: Exactly. Last night the exact same logical conclusion was told to me by your mother, while we had i**....
Farmer tries to breed pigs
A farmer bought some breeding pigs, but after several weeks, not one was pregnant. He called the vet for help. "Why don't you try artificial insemination" said the vet.
The farmer didn't have an inkling of what artificial insemination was, but, not wanting to appear ignorant, he said, "Okay, Doc, but how will I know when the pigs are pregnant?"
"Easy. When they lie down and wallow in the mud." The farmer hung up and came to the conclusion that artificial insemination must mean that he has to impregnate those pigs himself.
So he loaded them onto his truck, drove them out into the woods, had s**... with each of them, brought them back to the farm, and then went to bed. The next morning he woke up and checked the pigs.
Since they were all still standing around, he concluded that his first attempt didn't take, so he loaded them into the truck again, drove them into the woods, had s**... with each of them, brought them back to the farm, and went to bed. The next morning he woke up and checked the pigs. They are still just standing around.
"Once more," he told himself, and loaded them onto the truck, drove them into the woods, had s**... with each of them, brought them back to the farm, and went to bed.
The next morning, he can't even lift himself off the bed. He asked his wife to see if the pigs are wallowing in the mud yet.
"Nope," she said. "They're all in the back of the truck and one of them is honking the horn!"
The difference between a crow and a raven.
A biologist was asked to finally determine whether crows and ravens are really two different birds. This has been a matter of some conjecture for quite some time. Given only a cursory glance, these birds appear to be one and the same. The biologist spent considerable time watching the birds in their habitat and logging hours of observations. Their beaks were the same, their feet and their bodies showed no variable difference. But, at last, a breakthrough. The long feathers at the tip of a birds wings, the pinion feathers, provided the conclusion that ravens and crows differ. A raven has four pinion feathers and a crow has five pinion feathers. So........................... The difference between ravens and crows is a matter of a pinion.
Three Universities ...
Three Universities all done research into why a mans bell end is shaped the way it is.
Oxford Uni spent £100,000 in 6 months and came to the conclusion it is for the pleasure of the woman.
Cambridge Uni spent £250,000 in 18 months and came to the conclusion its for the pleasure of the man.
Dublin Uni spent 50 pence in 5 minutes and came to the conclusion its to stop your hand flying off the end.
I agree
I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold soda.
The day was really quite beautiful,
and the drink facilitated some deep thinking on various topics.
Finally I thought about the age old question:
Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?
Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful
than a guy getting kicked in the nuts.
Well, after another soda, and some heavy deductive thinking,
I have come up with the answer to that question.
Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby;
and here is the reason for my conclusion.
A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say,
"It might be nice to have another child."
On the other hand, you never hear a guy say,
"You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."
I rest my case.
Joke Time 2
To surprise her husband, an executive's wife stopped by his office.
When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap.
Without hesitating, he dictated, "And in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair."
Caveman Diet
My wife put me on the cave man diet. She says that like our ancestors, we can only eat things you would gather or catch. After about six weeks of this, I've come to the conclusion, I can catch a pizza guy.
Today, I was thinking about the expression 'revenge is a dish best served cold'.
Then I considered 'revenge is sweet'. I've come to the conclusion that revenge is ice cream.
My wife has a logic f**......
She's always coming to conclusions.
Just gonna say...
Number of times Leonard Cohen died before Trump was elected - 0
Number of times after - 1
Draw your own conclusions...
I saw a mosquito flying over my head and i caught it
Then, I took off its wings and I shouted to it "Go Fly!"
but it didnt fly.
Conclusion: Mosquitoes go deaf when you remove their wings
A physicist, a biologist, and a chemist go to the beach...
The physicist looks out over the ocean and says "I want to go into the water and study the fluid dynamics." The physicist then walks into the ocean and drowns. Then the biologist looks out over the ocean and says "I want to go into the water and study the local marine life." The biologist then walks into the ocean and drowns. Lastly, the chemist looks out over the ocean and says "I have come to a conclusion, physicists and biologists are soluble in water!"
I'm pretty sure someone stole the last paragraph of my essay, and hid it on a really high shelf...
But I don't want to jump to conclusions.
Not original, and not sure if it's been posted before, but it made me chuckle and thought I'd share.
The police have just released my mother-in-law after questioning her about the m**... of her husband.
They only spoke to her for 2 minutes before coming to the conclusion he committed s**....
There are two types of people in the world
Those who can draw a conclusion from a single piece of information
Today I realized I have a bit of a logic f**.......
I can't stop coming to conclusions.
My friend said he liked the ending of his book so much, he'd j**... to it.
I just don't know how he came to that conclusion.
After the assassination of Tsar Alexander II of Russia, a government official in Ukraine menacingly addressed the local rabbi,
"I suppose you know in full detail who was behind it."
"Ach," the rabbi replied, "I have no idea, but the government's conclusion will be the same as always: they will blame the Jews and the chimneysweeps."
"Why the chimneysweeps?" asked the befuddled official.
"Why the Jews?" responded the rabbi.
I think I have a logic f**......
I keep coming to conclusions.
A scientist performed an expirement on a spider...
He put the spider on a table and told it to jump, and it did. Then, he plucked off one of its legs and told it to jump, and it jumped again, but not as high as the first time. The scientist did this again and again, taking off another leg each time until all of its legs were gone. When the spider had no legs, he told it to jump. It just laid there, not jumping.
The scientist's conclusion: Spiders without legs are deaf.
Why is it so easy to write a eulogy?
You only need the introduction and the conclusion.
The body is already there.
My roommates a thief. I left a 6 pack of beer in my fridge last night and this morning there's only a couple left.
It's a 4 gone conclusion.
Two German soccer players go to a s**... bank..
The nurse there tells them that she can only take samples from one of them. Since they are both very strong men, she comes to a conclusion and tells them "I'll take a sample from the fastest runner"
This is alarming to the two German's, both of them being completely exhausted from the previous days game. After discussing it for a while, they decide to inform the nurse
"I don't think we're ready to compete for the cup...
So I found out I have a f**... for finding things out.
I really came to that conclusion.
A wife decides to surprise her husband at work.
She walks into his office to find him sitting at his desk, on the phone, with his extremely attractive secretary perched on his lap.
Upon catching sight of his wife the husband says into the phone, "And in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with only one chair."
After recently getting into dating apps I came to the conclusion that Tinder is a lot like Little Caesars...
if you want it hot and ready, you're gonna have to take a hit on quality
I've just discovered that I have a logic f**....
I can't stop coming to conclusions.
A woman decides to surprise her husband at work, and walks into his office to find him talking on the phone and his very attractive secretary perched on his lap.
As soon as he sees his wife, the husband speak into the phone, "And in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue running this office with only one chair."
My older brother always tore the last pages of my comic books, and never told me why.
I had to draw my own conclusions.
I think I have a f**... for the ending part of a paragraph.
Why?
I don't know but just came to that conclusion
I'm sapiosexual, I find intelligence attractive.
I guess you could say I come to a lot of conclusions.
I think I have a f**... for the last paragraph in an essay
I just came to that conclusion
The Presidential Election will never bring a satisfactory conclusion, there's no flow it's just one candidate that changes the subject constantly,while the other can't perform for too long
we truly have Electile Dysfunction
Reddit Karma is like women
At first, everyone seems to have it except you.
No one knows how they work but everyone want them.
It would look really hard to get it untill you finally get it unexpectedly, somehow.
A difference of opinion and you lose them.
But they give you a sense of value even after being repeatedly told they are pointless.
Conclusion: Karma's a b**....
Allegedly John Adams
In my many years, I have come to the conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress
All the comic books I got from my older brother had the last page missing.
I had to draw my own conclusions.
An englishman, frenchmen, and spaniard were racing their cats on a paper boat in the water
They each name their cat the same in each language. The Englishman names his cat "One Two Three". The Frenchman names his "Un deux t**...". The Spaniard names his "Uno dos tres". The race begins, and Uno dos tres wins, with one two three at second place. The Frenchman's cat is nowhere to be found. After searching, the Frenchman comes to a conclusion. He goes to the other men, and says, "The Un deux t**... cat sank"
I hear that Bambi has been in mourning since the conclusion of last hunting season.
He lost a deer friend.
All the comic books I inherited from my older brother had their last pages missing.
I had to draw my own conclusions.
Company Picnic Softball Tournament
At our annual company picnic, the advertising department always played a game of softball with the editorial department. This year the ad dept. won ,9-4. But on the company bulletin board the next morning was the following notice. The Editorial Dept. is proud to announce that upon the conclusion of this year's softball tournament, we finished in second place overall, having lost only one game the entire season. We would also like to take this opportunity to offer our condolences to the Ad Dept.'s team for finishing next to last, having won only one game during the entire year.
The Corporate Ladder
A recent study in USA have found an interesting relationship between a man social status and the sport he watches
1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL
2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employee is BOWLING
3. The sport of choice for front line workers is American FOOTBALL
4. The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL
5. The sport of Choice for middle management is TENNIS
6. the sport of Choice for corporate Officers is GOLF
CONCLUSION: The Higher you are in the corporate structure, the smaller your b**... become
TIL about the Downing-Keurig Effect in which poor performers greatly overestimate their abilities. It shows that underperforming individuals reach erroneous conclusions and make unfortunate choices, but their incompetence robs them of the ability to realize."
I feel so smart knowing about this.
Marriage Invitation!
I received a marriage invitation. In the end was printed. " Your presence itself is a gift. We don't want any gifts at the marriage."
I read it again and again. Was getting confused...
Finally I came to the conclusion, that I am not invited. And therefore decided not to attend
I heard WW 3 might be starting...
I don't know... I think people might be Russian to conclusions.
Three lawyers go on a hunting trip…
Two were from Germany, the third was Czechoslovakian. They were about two days into their hunting trip, having a good ol' time when two bears come out of nowhere and devoured the three hunters.
Crime scene investigation was called in after a couple of hikers stumbled across the b**... campsite, and the detective came to the conclusion that the two Germans were eaten up by the female bear.
When asked how he knew, he pointed behind a tent where the second bear was sprawled out dead, with a foot sticking out, and he said, 'well, if you do a dna test, you'll find that the Czech is in the male.'
Thank you. I'm here all night.
DYK that if you lined up all the world's economists end to end...
...they still wouldn't reach a conclusion?
I have been to a lot of places, but I've never been in Cahoots.
Apparently you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.
I've also never been in Cognito, either. I hear no one recognizes you there.
I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips, thanks to my friends and family.
I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump and I'm not much on physical activity.
To surprise her hubby, an executive's wife stopped by his office.
When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap.
Without hesitating, he dictated, "And in conclusion, gents, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair.
Socrates: Define, for me, a punch line.
Hippias: A punch line is at the end of a joke.
Socrates: Is it a punch line simply by virtue of being at the end of the said joke?
Hippias: No, it must be an unexpected statement.
Socrates: Ah, but if you know that the punch line is about to arrive, how can it be unexpected?
Hippias: True. Therefore, there can be no punch line to any joke, for such a punch line is always to be expected.
Socrates: Exactly. Last night the exact same logical conclusion was told to me by your mother, while we had i**....
