Concert Jokes

Following is our collection of gig puns and album one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Concert jokes for adults, dirty performers jokes and clean singers dad gags for kids.

The Best Concert Puns

What concert costs just 45 cents?

50 Cent featuring Nickelback.

What has 132 legs and 8 teeth?

The front row of a Toby Keith concert.

What concert costs 45 cents?

50 Cent feat. Nickelback


Go ahead, down vote me to oblivion

What has 72 legs and 26 teeth?

The first row of a country concert.

Before Chris Brown did a concert with them, they were just known as "The Peas".

And now they are The ......... Peas


This is the third time my friends have agreed to attend a Whitesnake concert and haven't turned up

Here I go again on my own.

I feel sorry for Justin Bieber.

He's had to go to every Justin Bieber concert.

PSA: IF YOU RECEIVE AN EMAIL SAYING, "You've won two free tickets to a Justin Bieber concert!" DO NOT OPEN IT.

It contains two tickets to a Justin Bieber concert.

A human fart can be louder than a trombone.

I discovered that at my daughter's school concert.

Why didn't Bach attend Vivaldi's concert?

He was baroque.

What did the conductor do when half of the cello section called in sick a week before a major concert?

He was forced to resort to excessive violins.


At willcall for a concert, I start a conversation with the lady in front of me.

It was the first time I had used a pick up line to talk to a woman.

Why did everyone have Covid-19 at the KPop concert?

Because a symptom of Coronavirus is lack of taste.

What concert can you go to for 45 cents?

50 Cent ft. Nickelback

What has 200 legs and four pubic hair?

The first row at a Justin Bieber concert.

(I heard this one a while back, sorry) Why can't you use a the restroom at a Beatles reunion concert?

Because there is no John.

What do you call a Concert Hall full of Belle Delphine fans?

A Simphony.

What concert can you see for 45 cents?

50 cent, featuring Nickleback.

I asked my dad if I could go to a 50 cent concert

He said yeah sure, here's a dollar. Take your sister too.


I want people's opinions to help me decide something...

I've just received an automated phone call saying I've won either £250 cash or 2 tickets for an Elvis Presley tribute concert. Should I press 1 for the money or 2 for the show?

What has 108 legs and 10 teeth?

The front row at any country concert.

Have you guys heard the secret about butter?

I don't want to tell you because you might spread it around...

BONUS:

What concert is cheaper than 50 cents to attend?

50 Cent feat. Nickelback

*BUHDUMCHHH*

What's 80 feet long and has 22 teeth?

The front row of a Ted Nugent concert.

What concert is worth 45 cents?

50 cent with Nickelback

What kind of concert costs 45 cents?

A 50 Cent concert featuring Nickelback

At an AC/DC concert...

Brian Johnson: You guys ready to rock?
Crowd: YESSSSSS
Brian Johnson: I can't hear you!

What was the weather like at the rap concert?

There was a Lil Wayne.

I just overheard a co-worker announce she got tickets to a Nickelback concert.

That's all, she was completely serious.

At a Beethoven concert --

Beethoven: You guys ready for some music?

Crowd: YES!

Beethoven: I can't hear you...

Just some jokes about musicians.

How do you know the stage at a concert is level?
Drool is coming out of both sides of the drummers mouth.

What do you call a drummer with no girlfriend?
Homeless.

What do floutists eat for breakfast?
Flute loops.

How do you tune three oboeists?
Shoot 2 of them.

How many flute players does it take to change a light bulb?
One, they stand on the ladder holding the bulb in the socket and wait for the world to revolve around them.

My wife dragged me to a classical concert.

Me: I hope this concert has a lot of ado.

Her: Huh?

MC: Ladies and Gentlemen, without further ado....

Me: F*ck.

I went to see a concert performance by the Royal Bermuda Philharmonic orchestra...

Half way through the first symphony, the triangle player vanished...

You guys hear that Bono fell off the stage at the big U2 concert last night?

He got a little too close to the edge.

Why did Elton John have to go to hospital after the Queen concert?

They found traces of Mercury in him.

Was nice to see the Rams and Patriots

make it to the Maroon 5 concert last night

Beethoven is on the stage at a concert

"You wanna' hear a symphony?"

"Yeaaah"

"I can't hear you!"

I once went to an open air Queen concert.

It was good, but there was a terrible electrical storm during the set

Thunderbolts and lightning, very very frightening...

I thought the wife was joking...

...when she said she wanted to go to Switzerland for a Monkees concert.

Then I saw her face...now I'm in Geneva

I went to a lame reggae concert once

It was dreadful

Neymar was found at a Celine Dion concert, screaming from pain and rolling around.

He was touched by the music.

To the person who found a pot of marmalade at a Foo Fighters concert last year

That's my jam

What concert can you see for 45 cents?

50 Cent ft. Nickelback.

What has 50 feet and 9 teeth?

Front row at a Kid Rock concert.

Did you hear the one about Make-A-Wish foundation giving concert tickets to the little deaf boy?

Neither did he.

I just saw the rapper Shaggy perform at the Super Bowl pre-game concert. In case you're wondering who invited him...

It wasn't me.

A girl wants to go to the concert...

She asked her dad for his permission, and he said, "no, but you can buy the album, and that's vinyl."

My favorite Robin Williams joke

U2 is playing a concert in Scotland, and as a hush comes over the crowd, Bono starts clapping his hands above his head very slowly.

As he claps, he tells the crowd, "Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies." And a man stands up in the back of the room, and shouts "Then stop clappin' your hands!"

Thanks, Robin.

What does a brewery and a Nickelback concert have in common?

They are both responsible for a lot of boos.

Did you hear about the musicians who murdered a guest at the concert?

It was very cleverly orchestrated.

What concert can you get in with just 45 cents?

50 Cent featuring Nickelback.

I repeatedly slapped my girlfriend as hard as I could at the concert last night.

I was clapping for the band.

My wife is furious I left my son's concert early to go out to the bar...

I'll never hear the end of it

I took a picture of myself at an R.E.M concert.

That's me in the corner.

What has 100 legs and sixteen teeth?

The front row of a Willie Nelson concert.

I went to a Coldplay concert once.

It was paradise.

What has 40 feet and 20 teeth?

The front row at a Garth Brooks concert.

If I were to drop LSD at a dubstep concert....

Would the acid neutralize the bass?

I saw Stevie Wonder in concert the other night

He didn't see me though

I just came from a domestic violence awareness concert...

...headlined by the Black Eyed Peas

What big cat shouldn't you take to a rock concert?

A Def Leppard

Subscribe (Verb) - to obtain or have a subscription to a publication, concert series, service, etc.

Subscribe (Noun) - a very obedient writer

What concert only costs 45cents ?

50 cent, featuring nickel back

Remember when you wanted to watch the video your friend recorded of the concert they went to?

Me neither.

Whats got 100 Legs and no teeth?

The front row at a Barry Manilow concert.

What has 10,000 legs and 3 pubes?

A Justin Bieber concert.

A concert promoter was fired for claiming he had the worlds largest piano player booked when he was only 5' 8"...

Just another case of a man lying about the size of his pianist.

There is an abundance of band jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 66 funniest jokes and concert puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any recital witze you can hear about concert.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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