Concert Jokes
155 concert jokes and hilarious concert puns to laugh out loud. Read places jokes about concert that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for some fun concert jokes? Whether you're a fan of classical, jazz, astroworld, or bermuda music, these hilarious concert jokes are sure to have you and your friends laughing! Get ready for a night of great music, laughter and giggle as we take you through some of the best concert jokes around.
Quick Jump To
- Short Concert Jokes
- Concert One Liners
- Concert Band Jokes
- Classical Concert Jokes
- More Concert Jokes
Funniest Concert Short Jokes
Short concert jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The concert humour may include short conference jokes also.
- i went to an REM concert back in '92. They're my favourite band so I wanted my photo taken with them.
That's me in the corner. - Before chris brown did a concert with them, they were just known as "The Peas". And now they are The ......... Peas
- This is the third time my friends have agreed to attend a Whitesnake concert and haven't turned up Here I go again on my own.
- PSA: IF YOU RECEIVE AN EMAIL SAYING, "You've won two free tickets to a Justin Bieber concert!" DO NOT OPEN IT. It contains two tickets to a justin bieber concert.
- String Fight My ex used to hit me with stringed instruments. If only I had known about her history of violin.
- Why did everyone have Covid-19 at the kpop concert? Because a symptom of Coronavirus is lack of taste.
- At willcall for a concert, I start a conversation with the lady in front of me. It was the first time I had used a pick up line to talk to a woman.
- Few years ago I saw Slim Shady in concert and instead of rapping he just kept pulling his pants down and mooning the crowd. Honestly the whole thing was just Em bare assing.
- (I heard this one a while back, sorry) Why can't you use a the restroom at a Beatles reunion concert? Because there is no John.
- My daughter asked if she could go to a 50 Cent concert... I gave her a dollar, and told her to take her brother, too.
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Concert One Liners
Which concert one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with concert? I can suggest the ones about fest and competition.
- What concert costs just 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback.
- What has 132 legs and 8 teeth? The front row of a Toby Keith concert.
- What concert costs 45 cents? 50 Cent feat. Nickelback
Go ahead, down vote me to oblivion - What has 72 legs and 26 teeth? The first row of a country concert.
- I feel sorry for Justin Bieber. He's had to go to every Justin Bieber concert.
- Why didn't Bach attend Vivaldi's concert? He was baroque.
- Why do balloons hate Ed Sheeran concerts? They are afraid of pop music.
- What concert can you go to for 45 cents? 50 Cent ft. Nickelback
- What concert costs just 45 cents? 50 cent with Nickleback
- What do you call a Concert Hall full of Belle Delphine fans? A Simphony.
- What concert can you see for 45 cents? 50 cent, featuring Nickleback.
- What has 108 legs and 10 teeth? The front row at any country concert.
- What concert is worth 45 cents? 50 cent with nickelback
- What's 80 feet long and has 22 teeth? The front row of a Ted Nugent concert.
- What kind of concert costs 45 cents? A 50 Cent concert featuring Nickelback
Concert Band Jokes
Here is a list of funny concert band jokes and even better concert band puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I repeatedly slapped my girlfriend as hard as I could at the concert last night. I was clapping for the band.
- I like to pick up women at Cover Band concerts. Since I already know they are willing to settle.
- Did you hear about the coniferous Ent who carried the entire E Street Band to a 13 year old Make A Wish kid? It's all over the newspapers – "SPRUCE BRINGS TEEN CONCERT"
- Did you hear that the band U2 gave away a free concert? Apparently, the crowd was very Pro Bono.
- I was dating this girl.. I was dating this girl that I was really into. We went to a concert together to listen to her favorite band.
I said: I love you!
Luckily she said I love U2 - Another band has renamed themselves do to the times we live now, they will now be called No Refunds apparently, if you previously went to their concerts, you couldn't even get a Nickelback.
- I went to a concert in Asia but I didn't enjoy it. The band was good but the singer poor.
- Which rock band always wash their hands before a concert? OCDC
- My band were thinking about doing a concert in space... ...but then we realised there would probably be no atmosphere.
- When my wife and I argue, we're like a band in concert we start with some new stuff, and then we roll out our greatest hits
Classical Concert Jokes
Here is a list of funny classical concert jokes and even better classical concert puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- (Warning:lame music joke. I just came back from a classicical music concert) Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the oboe solo.
- Why do black people not like Classical music? Because they have to sit in the Bach of the concert hall.
- Bonnie Tyler is performing a concert in Greece next month. She'll be singing her classic. I need a Euro.
- Classical music is such a scam... You pay hundreds of dollars to go see Mozart live and in concert, and every time it's just a cover band
- Why wouldn't the mother take her kids to the classical music concert? Too much sax and violins.
- My wife dragged me to a classical concert. Me: I hope this concert has a lot of ado.
Her: Huh?
MC: Ladies and Gentlemen, without further ado....
Me: F*c**.... - Vincent: hey what classical concert are you going to and why are you wearing that fancy cologne? Me: to Bait h**..., Vin.
Silly Concert Jokes for a Good Time with Friends
What funny jokes about concert you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean performance jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make concert pranks.
What concert can you get in with just 45 cents?
50 Cent featuring Nickelback.
I just came from a domestic violence awareness concert...
...headlined by the Black Eyed Peas
What was the weather like at the rap concert?
There was a Lil Wayne.
You guys hear that Bono fell off the stage at the big U2 concert last night?
He got a little too close to the edge.
What do you call a bunch of Jews in a concert?
A Moshe Pit
I saw Stevie Wonder in concert the other night
He didn't see me though
Just some jokes about musicians.
How do you know the stage at a concert is level?
Drool is coming out of both sides of the drummers mouth.
What do you call a drummer with no girlfriend?
Homeless.
What do floutists eat for breakfast?
Flute loops.
How do you tune three oboeists?
Shoot 2 of them.
How many flute players does it take to change a light bulb?
One, they stand on the ladder holding the bulb in the socket and wait for the world to revolve around them.
What has 200 legs and four p**... hair?
The first row at a Justin Bieber concert.
Miley Cyrus
Do you know what happened after Miley Cyrus fell down at a concert?
She got twerkmans comp.
Have you guys heard the secret about butter?
I don't want to tell you because you might spread it around...
BONUS:
What concert is cheaper than 50 cents to attend?
50 Cent feat. Nickelback
*BUHDUMCHHH*
I thought the wife was joking...
...when she said she wanted to go to Switzerland for a Monkees concert.
Then I saw her face...now I'm in Geneva
I once went to an open air Queen concert.
It was good, but there was a terrible electrical storm during the set
Thunderbolts and lightning, very very frightening...
A girl wants to go to the concert...
She asked her dad for his permission, and he said, "no, but you can buy the album, and that's vinyl."
My favorite Robin Williams joke
U2 is playing a concert in Scotland, and as a hush comes over the crowd, Bono starts clapping his hands above his head very slowly.
As he claps, he tells the crowd, "Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies." And a man stands up in the back of the room, and shouts "Then stop clappin' your hands!"
Thanks, Robin.
An orchestra concert is no place for a child.
Sometimes there's intense violins
What concert can you see for 45 cents?
50 Cent ft. Nickelback.
A human f**... can be louder than a t**....
I discovered that at my daughter's school concert.
Son: Dad can I go to a 50 Cent concert? Dad: Here's $1, take your sister too
Son: Dad can I go to a 50 Cent concert?
Dad: Here's $1, take your sister too
:D
What has 100 legs and sixteen teeth?
The front row of a w**... Nelson concert.
I just overheard a co-worker announce she got tickets to a Nickelback concert.
That's all, she was completely serious.
Did you hear the one about Make-A-Wish foundation giving concert tickets to the little deaf boy?
Neither did he.
Did you hear about the Coldplay concert in China last weekend?
It was all yellow.
Beethoven is on the stage at a concert
"You wanna' hear a symphony?"
"Yeaaah"
"I can't hear you!"
Why did Elton John have to go to hospital after the Queen concert?
They found traces of Mercury in him.
What's 20 foot long, screams like a banshee and has no p**...?
The front row of a One Direction concert.
At an AC/DC concert...
Brian Johnson: You guys ready to rock?
Crowd: YESSSSSS
Brian Johnson: I can't hear you!
What does a high school dance have in common with the parking lot at a Keith Urban concert?
Lots of bad pickup lines.
My dog loves chasing cars
He was ecstatic when I told him I was taking him to see Snow Patrol in concert
Justin Beiber fell off stage last night at a concert in Canada.
He suffered only minor injuries according to his gynecologist.
The Canadian Opera Company has announced that it will play a special concert series at the Vancouver Art Gallery.
They say that this will be the first time the COC has played in the v**....
I went to a lame reggae concert once
It was dreadful
Did you hear about the musicians who murdered a guest at the concert?
It was very cleverly orchestrated.
A concert promoter was fired for claiming he had the worlds largest piano player booked when he was only 5' 8"...
Just another case of a man lying about the size of his pianist.
If I were to drop l**... at a dubstep concert....
Would the acid neutralize the bass?
I asked my dad if I could go to a 50 cent concert
He said yeah sure, here's a dollar. Take your sister too.
I took a picture of myself at an R.E.M concert.
That's me in the corner.
Beware of a new scam message going around
I just got a text message saying "Congratulations you are the winner of the Elvis tribute competition.
You have a choice of two prizes you can take,
Option 1 is £50.00
Option 2 is for 2 tickets to an Elvis tribute concert
To make your choice
text
1 for the money or 2 for the show
(disclaimer: stolen from my Facebook feed. Never seen this joke before and wanted to share)
What has 10,000 legs and 3 p**...?
A Justin Bieber concert.
My wife is furious I left my son's concert early to go out to the bar...
I'll never hear the end of it
What has 50 feet and 9 teeth?
Front row at a Kid Rock concert.
A lead singer gets blown by a big fan backstage at the end of a concert and all the band members find him n**....
Group: Ewww! Get a room!
Singer: I would if you could fit three blades the size of a jet engine into my living room!
Why aren't concerts suitable for children?
Too much sax and violins.
What happens when you make your SO leave the concert early with you?
You'll never hear the end of it.
I just saw the rapper Shaggy perform at the Super Bowl pre-game concert. In case you're wondering who invited him...
It wasn't me.
A musician was late to his concert...
He drove over something sharp and got a flat tire.
Subscribe (Verb) - to obtain or have a subscription to a publication, concert series, service, etc.
Subscribe (Noun) - a very obedient writer
I used to be a beekeeper
I remained so until the Monkees came to my town. Rather than take care of my apiary, my girlfriend wanted me to take her to the concert. I didn't think she was serious, but then I saw her face. Now I'm a bee-leaver.
To the person who found a p**... of marmalade at a Foo Fighters concert last year
That's my jam
What concert only costs 45cents ?
50 cent, featuring nickel back
Remember when you wanted to watch the video your friend recorded of the concert they went to?
Me neither.
I really wanna go to the Flock of Seagulls concert in the middle east...
But Iran so far away.
Neymar was found at a Celine Dion concert, screaming from pain and rolling around.
He was touched by the music.
What big cat shouldn't you take to a rock concert?
A Def Leppard
What has 40 feet and 20 teeth?
The front row at a Garth Brooks concert.
What did the octopus say to his girlfriend at the Beatles concert?
I wanna hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand...
Courtesy of my dad when I was 5.
I went to see a concert performance by the Royal Bermuda Philharmonic orchestra...
Half way through the first symphony, the triangle player vanished...
Imagine Dragons is doing a concert in Washington DC
They start singing Believer... "First things first I'ma say all the words inside my head"
Donald Trump stands up and says, "Challenge accepted"
What does a brewery and a Nickelback concert have in common?
They are both responsible for a lot of boos.
A pianist was trying to be unique by lying down on the floor and playing the piano simultaneously during a concert.
Needless to say, he was flat.
Was nice to see the Rams and Patriots
make it to the Maroon 5 concert last night
Whats got 100 Legs and no teeth?
The front row at a Barry Manilow concert.
Patient: I keep having flashbacks to that one K-Pop concert.
Therapist: I see, I diagnose you with BTSD.
