Concern Jokes

Following is our collection of anxiety puns and stress one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Concern jokes for adults, dirty suggest jokes and clean dismay dad gags for kids.

The Best Concern Puns

Why is everyone criticising EA?

I've only ever known EA as an excellent video game company and pioneer of the early home computer games industry. EA has always had my enjoyment as their primary concern and their community involvement is phenomenal.

($50 has been deposited into your Paypal account, remember to delete this part of the message before posting it).

A teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to meet her parents.

They were appalled by his leather jacket, motorcycle boots, tattoos, and pierced nose. Later, the parents pulled their daughter aside and confessed their concern. "Dear," the mother said, "he doesn't seem very nice."

"Oh please, Mom," the daughter replied. "If he wasn't nice, why would he be doing 200 hours of community service?"

What's a horse's primary concern when voting?

A stable economy.

As she watches the news, an elderly woman calls her husband in concern.

She knows he is driving home, so she calls his cell phone.

"Dear, please be careful on the road today! I just heard on the radio that there is a driver going the wrong way down the highway."

Her husband replies, "Oh, it's not just one. There are hundreds of them!"

My parrot was just diagnosed with an STD.

Vet says he has Chirpees. He said there's no need for concern, because it's a Canarial disease, and it's tweetable.


I'm concerned with the world news at the moment. Apparently, North Korea now has a missile that can hit New York,

and I was thinking.

"If it can make it there, it can make it anywhere".

"Should I be concerned about eating genetically modified tomatoes?"

Tomato: "No"

Husband talks to a rabbi.

A husband goes to talk to a rabbi about how his wife is trying to make him consume poison. The rabbi shows concern and tells the husband, "don't worry I'll talk to her". The next day the husband and the rabbi meet together, and the rabbi informs the husband of the meeting with his wife. "I saw your wife - I talked to her for 3 hours! Take the poison!"

A concerned husband goes to his priest...

"Father, I think my wife is trying to poison me. Every time she makes me something to eat, the rat poison bottle gets lighter and lighter."

Troubled by hearing this, the priest tells the man, "I will go and speak with your wife and see what is going on here."

The priest then heads to their home and sits down with the wife and has a long discussion. He then comes back to talk to the husband.

"I've spoken with your wife for over 45 minutes about this", the priest said.

The husband looks intently at the priest, "Yeah, what should I do?"

The priest calmly says "you should take the poison."

My Son's #1 Concern

When my three-year-old was told 
to pee in a cup at the doctor's office, he unexpectedly got nervous. With 
a shaking voice, he asked, Do I have to drink it?

If you're concerned about your new partner's sexual history, and you don't want to catch genital warts, imagine you're playing chess, not craps.

So don't roll the dice. Check first, and then mate.


The FBI made a big marijuana bust recently.

The took the approximately 2 tons of weed to a landfill and had it incinerated. However, the EPA stepped in and showed concern for the multitude of seagulls flying overhead. You know what their study discovered? That there was no tern left unstoned.

JUST Jokes::MAD COW CONCERN::

A husband and wife go to a restaurant. The waiter approaches the table to take their order.

"I'll have your biggest, juiciest steak," says the husband.

"But sir, what about the mad cow?" asks the waiter.

"Oh," says the husband, "she'll order for herself."

little Sally--funny adult joke

Little Sally came home from school with a smile on her face, and told her mother, "Frankie Brown showed me his weenie today at the playground!" Before the mother could raise a concern, Sally went on to say, "It reminded me of a peanut." Relaxing with a hidden smile, Sally's mom asked, "Really small, was it?" Sally replied, "No, salty." Mom fainted.

Everyone is concerned about Trump's health after he posted an incomprehensible tweet about his covfefe

But don't worry. Dr. Hufghfufu just assured the media that he's agvofofi.

It's strange that we don't hear more concern from the flat earthers about Antarctica melting

You'd think they would be worried about the ice wall springing a leak and draining the ocean.

Two olives are on a counter.

One falls to the ground. The one still on the counter, out of genuine concern, yells down, "ARE YOU ALRIGHT?"

The one on the ground rolls over, quickly checks himself and replies,

"OLIVE"

We are really concerned with what's going on South of the Border with all the drugs gun violence and now this new Dictatorship

I am Canadian

A concerned person is sick of all the corruption and injustice in the world and decides they want to expose it by becoming a journalist.

Only 3 weeks later they were caught trying to reveal corruption by some high ranking officials and were put to death.

You could say, they chose the wrong Korea.


A concerned friend asks a guy why he just endures his marriage with an abusive spouse.

He just shrugged it off and says, "beats me."

To whom do agnostics pray?

To whom it may concern.

As a brown person in the US...

People would yell at me to get out of their country and I would get offended and feel attacked.

After election 2016, I just reply, "thanks for the concern! You should too!"

A concerned wife goes to her husband...

"Honey, I know we said we would wait to give our little girl the birds and the bees talk, but I think it's about time."

He inquiries as to why she thinks this. Their daughter, while almost a teen, is still rather young.

"Well, I caught her masturbating."

"~~Prosperous~~ Preposterous!! She's barely old enough to start her period let alone do that"

"That's the other thing, honey, I caught her red handed..."

What concerns me is that one day I'll wind up an old man

And then he'll attack me

Why didn't the approaching black hole concern the astronaut?

He didn't understand the gravity of the situation.

How does an atheist start their prayers?

To Whom It May Concern

The only thing I enjoy about morning exercise

Is that it doesn't concern me

I get concerned when a bunch of pigeons start gathering together

I worry they're arranging a coo

With the concerns over water quality at the upcoming Rio Olympic games, I think we should ask, what would Jesus do?

Walk on water, he ain't swimming in that filth.

A concerned friend asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine.

I told him "about 30 minutes".

They're talking about doing an intervention, what do I do?

Everyone is always concerned how dirty my kitchenware is

Well my grandma always told me "a washed pot never boils"

These reports of a major snowstorm hitting the Northeast don't concern me.

It's all just flake news.

I'm not too concerned about this whole terminal illness deal...

My doctor said it should be the last thing I worry about.

Are you at all concerned that the heights of vegetables are rapidly increasing due to the amount of chemicals used on them?

No, I don't carrot tall.

What do you call a concern about a specific time you may have booked on Native American property?

A reservation reservation reservation.

Why is everyone criticising Aji Pai?

I've only ever known Aji Pai as an American attorney as the Chairman of United States FCC who makes the best decisions. Aji Pai has always had my enjoyment as their primary concern and their community involvement is phenomenal.


($50 has been deposited into your Paypal account, remember to delete this part of the message before posting it).

My dad said there's too much red, yellow and blue in my house.

That's not my primary concern right now.

"One of my friends has gotten so many DUI's.....

that he had to go to jail for a year. And his only concern was getting raped. So he didn't shower for an entire year...... because he was so busy getting raped."


- Anthony Jeselnik

What do you call a risk or a negative implication related to The Large Hedron Collider?

A concern

A.I. is a key concern of all good world leaders.

Unfortunately, ours thinks it's a steak sauce.

Everybody is concerned with the Zombieapocalypse...

It's a grave matter.

Why shouldn't you be concerned when your dog slobbers on your Neil Degrasse Tyson poster?

Because pet drool can't melt Neil memes.

I was concerned about the FBI spying on me through my webcam..

So I put a piece of scotch tape on it.

Paedophiles

Pedophiles are really only a minor concern

What's sexist and not a concern for feminist?

Misandry

So, I was at the doctor the other day...

And the doctor looked at with me with concern and told me, "Hey, Finez, you really need to stop masturbating."

I looked at him perplexed and said, "But why doc?"

"Well, Its making it hard for me to give you an exam"





need to

I've been concerned about my Grandma, and wondered what would happen if she fell down the stairs and no one was around

Would she make a noise?

(OC) My sister called me crying about not wanting to go into next year

She calls me and says "I want us to stay in 2020."



In my concern I asked, "Why?"


"Because if we go into next year, then 2020 won."







(True story, she did call me with this OC. I was quite impressed)

I'm concerned about my jeans.

They seem so distressed.

Doesn't it concern you that stick bugs are way more complex than stick people?

They're on a whole other dimension

Concerned about the morality of animals raised for food, but don't want to go vegan?

Try road kill. They're dead anyways.

How do vampires start their letters ?

Tomb it may concern you..."

I was concerned about my gambling problem...

...so I came up with a great solution, on the way home from the bookies I threw all my receipts into a bush.

I was hedging my bets.

There is an abundance of equations jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 53 funniest jokes and concern puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any salaries witze you can hear about concern.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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