Conception Jokes

Following is our collection of notion puns and birth one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Conception jokes for adults, dirty puberty jokes and clean fertilization dad gags for kids.

The Best Conception Puns

When life starts

A Priest, a Muslim and a Rabbi are having a discussion. They are trying to determine the exact point when life starts. The Muslim argues that life starts at conception. The Priest disagrees and says that life starts at birth. The Rabbi turns to the two men and says, you are both wrong. When the dog dies and the kids move out, that is when life begins.

What do you call the winner of the beauty pageant for teenagers who've had an abortion?

Little miss conception

What happens when you put a condom inside another condom?


At an ecumenical round-table discussion, various religious leaders tried to answer the question "When does life start?"

"At conception," said the Catholic priest.

"No, no," said the Presbyterian minister. "It begins at birth."

"It's in between," said the Baptist. "Life begins at 12 weeks when the fetus develops a functional heartbeat."

"I disagree with all of you," said the rabbi. "Life begins when your last child leaves home and takes the dog with him."

When is a fetus viable?

To a Christian, it's the moment of conception. To a Jew, it's when he graduates from medical school.

-my mom heard this on the radio

Three men are arguing 'when does life begin'

The first man goes, "At the time of conception."

The second man argues, "No, it is when the baby is born."

The the man tells them all, "No, no, no, no -- You have it all wrong. Life begins when the wife takes the children and they all leave for vacation."

It's been discovered that Mary was not infact a virgin when Jesus was born.

It was an inaccurate conception.

A priest, scientist and rabbi are discussing when life begins.

The priest says the answer is obvious, it begins at conception as decreed by God.

The scientist says no it begins at birth as at that point it can live outside of it's mother.

The rabbi says you are both wrong. It starts when the dog dies and the kids move out.

Catholic, Protestant and Jew debate

The Catholic argues that life begins at conception; the protestant claims that life begins at birth. The Jew states that life begins when the kids move out and the dog dies.

joke 4 joke

Wives want to videotape the birth of their child, while husbands want to videotape the conception.

If a virgin conceiving is called an immaculate conception...

Is a virgin catching venereal disease called an immaculate infection???

Many people think you can't get pregnant when using the pull-out method...

But that's a missed conception

Leo's First Oscar

Leonardo DiCaprio in the delivery room.
Leo: "What is it doc?!"

Doctor: "It's a bo-"


*Doctor sighs, handing the baby boy to Leo*

Doctor: "And the "Oscar" goes to Leonardo DiCaprio for the role of Father in Conception.

What do you call it when two people make a baby in fog?

A mist conception.

Three men are arguing about when exactly life begins?

The first man says "at the time of conception",

The second man argues that it is "actually at the time of birth".

Finally the third man joins in and says "oh no. Life actually begins when the wife takes the children and they all leave for vacation"

A Domme recently got pregnant by her sub...

It was Emasculate Conception.

"You know what happens when you assume?"

"Your mom tells the story of your conception"

There's a painting of Picasso's parents having sex

It's an artist's conception

The #1 cause of death worldwide is sexually transmitted and carries a 100% fatality rate.

Its called conception

Did you know the first dad joke in history was made during the conception of Adam and Eve's first child.

Adam said to Eve

"Hi coming, I'm dad!"

Layman's guide to the ages...

BC: Before conception

AD: After death

*short span in the middle can be ignored...

The condom broke last night, but the pharmacist said the morning after pill would prevent conception.

They must not work, though. I took one as soon as I woke up and she still got pregnant.

Some conceptions amongst Florida's Indians must have been widely anticipated.

Seminal Seminole seminal moments if you will.

There is an abundance of preg jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 23 funniest jokes and conception puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any baby witze you can hear about conception.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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