Concentration Jokes

Following is our collection of Concentration funnies and chistes working better than reddit. They include dirty puns, clean gags suitable for kids, that are actually fun like the best witze.

The Best Concentration jokes

Germany opens a summer school for kids with ADD

Its a concentration camp

Don't drink water while studying...

Why?

Because chemistry says that concentration decreases while adding water.

Note: My first attempt. Thanks.

Why don't Jewish girls study on their period?

Concentration Cramps

I started a camp for kids with ADHD but nobody showed up.

I guess calling it Concentration Camp was a bad idea.

Where do german parents send their ADD kids?

Concentration Camps

I started a camp for kids with ADHD.

It's a Concentration camp.

[Offensive] Adolf visits the concentration camp and asks a young boy how old he is

"I'll be 6 soon!"

"Nope"

Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory?

Lack of concentration.

Why aren't Jews easily distracted?

because they've been to concentration camp.

Hitlers suicide

One jewish man tells a joke to a woman, so he says:
"Why did hitler commit suicide?"
She said: "I don't know."
he replies:".... He saw the gas bill."
Then she said:"That's horrible! How could you say that!"
And he replies: "I'm sorry, I really shouldn't be joking about the holocaust. My great grandfather died in concentration camp."
The girl replies: "I'm so sorry to hear that."
And he says: "Yeah, it's sad, he fell off the guard tower."

Two Jews die and wait outside the pearly gates.

While waiting they realise that they both survived the same concentration camp.

After some chatting, one says to the other: "remember that time when the guard pushed you onto the electric fence and you almost died?" A second of silence passes and suddenly they both start laughing hysterically.

Upon calming down the other Jew asks his new friend: "remember when that dog chased you for so long that you ended up exhausted and almost died of hunger?" Another second of silence passes and again, they both start laughing like crazy.

God, overhearing the conversation, approaches the old Jewish couple and asks them what's so funny about any of these events.

They both look up and say: "Oh you wouldn't understand, you just had to be there".

Never drink water while studying

It'll dilute your concentration

I started a summer camp for kids with add/adhd to teach them to manage their symptoms.

It didn't do so well, people kept telling me Concentration Camp was a bad name.

Where should children with ADHD be sent?

A Concentration Camp!

Where do you send Jewish kids with ADHD?

Concentration Camp

Hitler captures 5 Jews

In a concentration camp Hitler catches 5 Jews and asks the first one :


~ How many meters high can you jump?


~ 1 meter, he answered as he was trembling.
Hitler gives him one loaf of bread and asks the same question to the second Jew.


~ 2 meters...replies the second Jew.
Hitler gives two loaves of bread and asks the same question to the third Jew.


~ 3 meters! responds quickly the third Jew.
Hitler draws his gun and blows his minds in air. Now the Jews concerned ask him:


~ Well, why you killed him?
And Hitler replies:


~ He can jump over the fence!

Where do German parents send their children with ADD for the Summer?

Concentration Camp

My grandpa died in a concentration camp.

Poor guy fell out of the guard tower.

Where do they make Adderall?

Concentration Camps

Where does a Jew with ADHD go?

a Concentration Camp.

(It flared it religion when its suppose to be a pun?)

I'm very appalled by holocaust jokes.

They are of poor taste and aren't funny.
My own grandfather died in a concentration camp.

The poor fellow, god bless his soul, went to get some food and accidentally fell down from his watchtower.

At the doctors office

I went to the doctors office due to a strange abdominal pain. My doctor adviced me to stop masturbating. "Is it dangerous?" I asked. "No", said the doctor " but it disturbs my concentration".

I have found a cure for people suffering from Attention Deficit Disorder...

... just send them to concentration camps.

Where do Jewish kids go when they are diagnosed with ADD?

Concentration camps

I'll never forgive the Nazis for how they treated my granddad in that concentration camp during the war.

Five years he was there on that machine gun tower, and never got a single promotion...

Translating the German joke Germans only tell Germans.

I don't like to talk about the Holocaust either. My grandfather died in a concentration camp.

He got drunk and fell off the guard tower.

WW2 joke. I read this conversation between two Counter-Strike players ingame...

(I came in mid-conversation and for me it started like this)

Player1: I cant believe your nick is Jewhunter, that's so offensive! My grandparents were in a concentration camp during the war.

Player2: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, my grandfather died in a concentration camp.

Player1: My god that's awful...

Player2: Yea, he fell down from the guardtower.

Player1 has left the game

A guy says: "My great grandfather died in the concentration camps"

Then he laughs: "He fell from the guard tower"

"Stop telling jokes about this" His friend replies - "My great grandma also died in concentration camps"

"Oh I'm sorry"

"Yeah, some idiot dumbass dude fell on top of her from the guard tower"

Where do you send your kid to be cured of ADD?

A concentration camp

Why do Germans have such great focus?

I think it's because they used to have concentration camps.

I wanted to open up a summer camp for kids with learning disabilities

apparently people think calling it a concentration camp is wrong

Where do they send the kids with ADHD?

To a concentration camp

Where do you send someone with ADHD for summer?

A concentration camp.

My sister is fat so they sent her to a weight loss camp....

I have ADHD, so they're sending me to a concentration camp

I don't like jokes about the Holocaust. My grandfather died in a concentration camp.

He fell out of a guard tower.

An old Jew

An old Jew who survived the German concentration camps is living in America. Every Monday he goes to his local convenience store and buys a lotto ticket. One day he hits a winner and wins big. The first thing he buys is a life size statue of Adolph Hitler to put in his living room. His family and friends are shocked. They can't understand his decision and think that he's losing his marbles. Finally his grandson asks him "Grandpa, why did you buy a statute of that horrible man and put it in your living room?" The old Jew gets down on one knee, rolls up his sleeve and replies "well son, old Adolph gave me the winning numbers."

Where do parents send their ADHD children during the summer?

Concentration camps

Where do people with ADHD go to die?

Concentration camps.

Beethoven

Beethoven dies and is buried. A few days after his burial the locals notice strange
music coming from the burial site. Alarmed, the villagers get the local priest and head
down to the graveyard. And sure enough the sound was coming from Beethoven's grave.
The locals watch as the priest places the side of his head onto the ground.
Deep in concentration he mutters: "Fifth symphony......fourth symphony....third...aha! Beethoven is decomposing!"

How did the jewish boy cure his ADD?

He was sent to a concentration camp

An old Jewish man is on his deathbed and he calls his wife over to him. "Esther, when we were childhood sweethearts during the war and were captured by the Nazis and put in the concentration camp, you were by my side."

"After the war, when we moved to England, got married and had to work 12 hours a day to pay for a single room, you were by my side."

"Later when my business collapsed and we were again left penniless, you were by my side."

"And now finally, as I prepare to die, you are again by my side."

"I'm beginning to think your a bit of a jinx!"

My mom wanted to send me to a program last summer for people with ADHD...

It was called a Concentration Camp.

What do you call a retreat for Jewish kids with ADHD?

Concentration Camp

What do you get when you cross an orchard with a concentration camp?

apple juice

My son has ADHD and cannot concentrate on anything for more than a couple of seconds.

I'm thinking of sending him to a concentration camp.

My summer camp, which was all about focus and blocking out distractions, did really poorly this year

Apparently no one wants to go to a concentration camp

What do you call a summer resort for helping kids with ADHD?

A concentration camp.

Fat kids go to fat camp, where do kids with ADD go?

Concentration camp.

How come Hitler's Germany had no people who suffered from ADHD?

Because he sent them all to concentration camps.

What board game do they have in Concentration Camps?

Jewmanji

I had ADD as a kid

So my parents enrolled me in a concentration camp

My doctor prescribed me Adderall to help my concentration and frustration. The only problem is that...

now I'm super concentrated on my frustrations.

I can't laugh at jokes about concentration camps, since my grandpa died there too.

The dumbass fell from a watchtower.

Girl, is your H+ concentration 1x10^14?

Because you're basic asf.

The year is 1945...

The Soviet army is pushing closer to Berlin with each day. As they march closer, they start to find the concentration camps. In one of these camps, a Polish man with a limited knowledge of the Russian language is talking to Russian military officers about the camps, with assistance from a translator. As he explains, he reaches a word he doesn't know, and turns to the translator.

"How do you say civilians?"

"Acceptable casualties."

Did you hear about the German summer camp where they gave all the kids adderall?

It turned into a concentration camp

What kind of vehicle did they use to transport prisoners to concentration camps during the holocaust?

Ju-Haul

Buffalo Hunt

Two Native American scouts are hunting buffalo in the Great Planes. One scout hops off of his horse and puts his face to the ground, closing his eyes in concentration.
"Buffalo come!", he exclaims as he lifts his head.
"Did you hear them?", asks the mounted scout.
"No," grunts the man, "face sticky."

How does Hitler organize his juice?

By concentration

Where did Hitler send his Oranges?

The concentration camps.

What did the jew say when he reached the concentration camp?

AU SHWITZ

What's the difference between a rehab center and a concentration camp?

One takes addicts out of people, the other takes people out of attics.

(Works best when said out loud)

A woman visits a monastery

She asks the head monk a few questions about improving her concentration in her daily life, but the monk says the answer is too long. He offers to e-mail her later, which leads her to ask, "Are monks allowed to use e-mail?" to which the monk replies, "Sure, as long as they don't have any attachments."

I can't stand holocaust jokes, they hit too close to home. My grandfather died in a concentration camp.

He fell off one of the watchtowers

If a person with ADHD went to a camp...

... would it be called a concentration camp?

Source: Girlfriend with ADHD

I heard you like jewcy jokes...

Hitler is visiting a concentration camp and he examines the prisoners. They are lined up and they listen all to the Hitlers speech. Suddenly somebody sneezes.

Hitler goes to the first row and asks:"Who did this?"
Nobody responses. First row gets executed.

Hitler goes to the second row and asks:"Who did this?" Still nobody responses. Second row gets executed.

Hitler goes to the third row and asks again:"Who did this?" After some moments of silence one prisoner raises anxiously his arm. Hitler:"Gesundheit!"

Where do you sent diluted Juice?

To the concentration camp.

Today someone at work made a holocaust joke...

Today someone at work made a holocaust joke which I over heard.

I walked over to him and said " you have any idea how offensive it is to tell a holocaust joke?! My grandfather died at a concentration camp over in German, so think before you speak"

He started to apologize and said he was deeply sorry and not to report him to HR.

I said "It is ok, he fell off the guard tower so I am not too offended.

I want to start a summer program for kids with A.D.D.

I call it "Concentration Camp"

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends.

Joko Jokes