Concentration Jokes
106 concentration jokes and hilarious concentration puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about concentration that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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- Short Concentration Jokes
- Concentration One Liners
- Concentration Camp Jokes
- More Concentration Jokes
Funniest Concentration Short Jokes
Short concentration jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The concentration humour may include short concentrate jokes also.
- Apparently Bruce Willis is only going to concentrate on action films from now on... because you know what they say about old habits...
- Yo mama so dumb that she spent 5 hours staring at a glass of orange juice because it said 'concentrate' on the package.
- Q: Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice bottle for 2 hours? A: Because it said 'concentrate'
- Don't drink water while studying... Why?
Because chemistry says that concentration decreases while adding water.
Note: My first attempt. Thanks. - [Offensive] What do you get when you cross a bowl of fruit and the holocaust? Orange Jews from concentrate
- Why did the blonde keep staring into the refrigerator? Because the orange juice said concentrate.
- [Offensive] Adolf visits the concentration camp and asks a young boy how old he is "I'll be 6 soon!"
"Nope" - "I need help with this crossword," yelled my girlfriend, almost in tears. "9 letters, another word for 'concentration'. I think she's seeking attention.
- My friend is getting a new car - a "tangerine" ford focus. Dad drops this one... Tangerine focus... Isn't that the same as orange concentrate?
- I started a summer camp for kids with add/adhd to teach them to manage their symptoms. It didn't do so well, people kept telling me Concentration Camp was a bad name.
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Concentration One Liners
Which concentration one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with concentration? I can suggest the ones about focusing and intensity.
- I recently quit my job at the orange juice factory...... I just couldn't concentrate.
- Germany opens a summer school for kids with ADD Its a concentration camp
- Why don't Jewish girls study on their period? Concentration Cramps
- They say there's safety in numbers... Tell that to 6 million Jews
- What do you call gingers in Auschwitz? Concentrated Orange Jews
- I Just got fired from the orange juice factory. They said I could not concentrate
- Where do german parents send their ADD kids? Concentration Camps
- Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory? Lack of concentration.
- Why aren't Jews easily distracted? because they've been to concentration camp.
- What is the worst punishment for someone with ADHD? A concentration camp
- Never drink water while studying It'll dilute your concentration
- I got fired from the juice factory today I just couldn't concentrate
- Where do German parents send their children with ADD for the Summer? Concentration Camp
- My grandpa died in a concentration camp. Poor guy fell out of the guard tower.
- Where do they make Adderall? Concentration Camps
Concentration Camp Jokes
Here is a list of funny concentration camp jokes and even better concentration camp puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I opened up a summer camp for kids with adhd. Although I regret calling it a concentration camp.
- Translating the German joke Germans only tell Germans. I don't like to talk about the Holocaust either. My grandfather died in a concentration camp.
He got drunk and fell off the guard tower. - Where do Jewish kids go when they are diagnosed with ADD? Concentration camps
- I have found a cure for people suffering from Attention Deficit Disorder... ... just send them to concentration camps.
- Where do you send your kid to be cured of ADD? A concentration camp
- Why do Germans have such great focus? I think it's because they used to have concentration camps.
- I wanted to open up a summer camp for kids with learning disabilities apparently people think calling it a concentration camp is wrong
- I don't like jokes about the Holocaust. My grandfather died in a concentration camp. He fell out of a guard tower.
- What kind of vehicle did they use to transport prisoners to concentration camps during the holocaust? Ju-Haul
- How did the jewish boy cure his ADD? He was sent to a concentration camp
Heartwarming Concentration Jokes that Make You Laugh
What funny jokes about concentration you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean congestion jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make concentration pranks.
I'm not having much luck with jobs lately.
I couldn't concentrate in the orange juice factory; wasn't suited to be a tailor; the muffler factory was just exhausting; couldn't cut it as barber; didn't have the patience to be a doctor; didn't fit in the shoe factory; pool maintenance was too draining and I just couldn't see any future as a historian.
Two Jews die and wait outside the pearly gates.
While waiting they realise that they both survived the same concentration camp.
After some chatting, one says to the other: "remember that time when the guard pushed you onto the electric fence and you almost died?" A second of silence passes and suddenly they both start laughing hysterically.
Upon calming down the other Jew asks his new friend: "remember when that dog chased you for so long that you ended up exhausted and almost died of hunger?" Another second of silence passes and again, they both start laughing like crazy.
God, overhearing the conversation, approaches the old Jewish couple and asks them what's so funny about any of these events.
They both look up and say: "Oh you wouldn't understand, you just had to be there".
Today I learned that I can make an ice cube melt just by concentrating on it and thinking ''Melt.''
I have to admit that it takes a lot longer than I expected.
I used to work at an orange juice factory but was fired because I couldn't concentrate.
So I tried my hand at being a lumberjack. I couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
Then i gave being a barber a go. But I didn't cut it.
I was then hired as a tailor and found I wasn't suited for the job.
Tiger Woods playing golf.
Sorry if this is a repost, but I found this one quite funny.
Tiger Woods is practicing golf one day, surrounded by fans and media. While he's practicing, an amateur
golfer confidently walks up to him and challenges him to a match. Tiger knew he'd win, so he agrees thinking that it would be a fun break from serious practice. "OK," the amateur says, "Since I'm an amateur and you're a pro, you'll have to allow me two gotchas". Tiger didn't know what a gotchas is, but he didn't ask because he thought he'd win regardless of what handicap is placed on him. The fans and media leave the two alone so they can play in peace.
A few hours later, the two come out of the golf course and it turns out that Tiger Woods lost. The fans and media surrounded him wanting to know what happened. Tiger says, "I was starting the first hole, concentrating to tee off, you know, deep in thought. Right when I was about to drive the ball, he ran up from behind, grabbed my nuts and squeezed them tight while loudly screaming 'GOTCHA!!' can you imagine me trying to play eighteen holes waiting for the next gotcha?"
WW2 joke. I read this conversation between two Counter-Strike players ingame...
(I came in mid-conversation and for me it started like this)
Player1: I cant believe your nick is Jewhunter, that's so offensive! My grandparents were in a concentration camp during the war.
Player2: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, my grandfather died in a concentration camp.
Player1: My god that's awful...
Player2: Yea, he fell down from the guardtower.
Player1 has left the game
What advice did Tiger Woods' dad have for Tiger during training?
Concentrate on golf—f**... everything else.
What kind of juice does h**... drink?
Concentrated juice.
Bruce Willis was offered a role in the new Star Wars film, but turned it down to concentrate on action films
Because you know what they say about old habits...
Beethoven
Beethoven dies and is buried. A few days after his burial the locals notice strange
music coming from the burial site. Alarmed, the villagers get the local priest and head
down to the graveyard. And sure enough the sound was coming from Beethoven's grave.
The locals watch as the priest places the side of his head onto the ground.
Deep in concentration he mutters: "Fifth symphony......fourth symphony....third...aha! Beethoven is decomposing!"
How did h**... like his orange juice?
Concentrated.
What would Chrysler's version of the Ford Focus be called?
Chrysler Concentrate
I'll never forgive the n**... for how they treated my granddad in that concentration camp during the war.
Five years he was there on that machine gun tower, and never got a single promotion...
why did the orange fail school?
It couldn't concentrate.
75 story hotel
Phil, Jim, and John were at a convention together sharing a large suite at the top of a . After a long day of meetings, they were shocked to hear the elevators were broken, and they now had to climb 75 flights of stairs.
Phil said to Jim and John,"let's break the monotony of this unpleasant task by concentrating on something more interesting. Hmm, I'll tell jokes the first 25 floors, Jim, you can sing songs the next 25 floors and John you can say your collection of sad stories."
The others agreed and they started the climb for their hotel room. At the 26th floor Phil stopped with his jokes and Jim started his songs. At the 51st floor songs stopped and John's sad stories started.
"I guess I'll begin with my saddest story first. I forgot the room key in the car."
(EDIT) FIXED THE GRAMMAR d**...
What was h**...'s favorite drink?
Orange jews, 100% concentrated
What was h**...'s favorite kind of juice?
Concentrated.
Did I ever tell you about how I lost my job at Tropicana?
I couldn't concentrate.
What kind of orange juice do Jews drink?
All kinds, just not concentrated
Q: why did the blond stare at her orange juice for 2 hours?
A: because it said "concentrate"
I lost my job at the orange juice factory
They said I couldn't concentrate
I spent an hour staring at the OJ container yesterday.
It said "concentrate."
A man is riding in the back of a taxi...
and the taxi driver is silent and concentrated on the road. Wanting to ask a question, the man taps the driver on the shoulder and says "Hey, buddy!" The driver screams and loses control of the taxi and crashes into a pole. The man says "Wow I didn't know me tapping you would scare you so much!" The driver replies, "It's not you're fault. This is my first day driving a taxi... last 20 years I drove a hearse!"
Why did the acid perform poorly?
Because it didn't concentrate.
My first job was working in an orange juice factory.
I got canned...I just couldn't concentrate.
Did you hear about the new s**... Fidget spinners?
They really help you concentrate!
I had to quit my job at the Orange Juice factory, it was too distracting there.
I just couldn't concentrate.
My parents and I came to the US from Germany when I was a little girl.
They didn't speak much English, but were experienced educators back home. One winter, they decided to open a tutoring/ study session program to help students stay productive and focus over the break. It wasn't until after a flood of angry phone calls and visitors that we realized that "Concentration Camp" was not an ideal program name.
Hitlers s**...
One jewish man tells a joke to a woman, so he says:
"Why did h**... commit s**...?"
She said: "I don't know."
he replies:".... He saw the gas bill."
Then she said:"That's horrible! How could you say that!"
And he replies: "I'm sorry, I really shouldn't be joking about the holocaust. My great grandfather died in concentration camp."
The girl replies: "I'm so sorry to hear that."
And he says: "Yeah, it's sad, he fell off the guard tower."
My summer camp, which was all about focus and blocking out distractions, did really poorly this year
Apparently no one wants to go to a concentration camp
A blonde joke
A blonde gets an opportunity to fly to a nearby country. She has never been on an airplane anywhere and was very excited and tense. As soon as she boarded the plane, a Boeing-747, she started jumping in excitement, running over seat to seat and starts shouting, "BOEING! BOEING!! BOEING!!! BO....."
She sort of forgets where she is, even the pilot in the c**...-pit hears the noise. Annoyed by the goings on, the Pilot comes out and shouts "BE SILENT!"
There was pin-drop silence everywhere and everybody is looking at the blonde and the angry Pilot. She stared at the pilot in silence for a moment, concentrated really hard, and all of a sudden started shouting,"OEING! OEING! OEING! OE...."
I'm very appalled by holocaust jokes.
They are of poor taste and aren't funny.
My own grandfather died in a concentration camp.
The poor fellow, god bless his soul, went to get some food and accidentally fell down from his watchtower.
At the doctors office
I went to the doctors office due to a strange abdominal pain. My doctor adviced me to stop m**.... "Is it dangerous?" I asked. "No", said the doctor " but it disturbs my concentration".
I bumped into an old school friend the other day.
He seemed to be doing very well for himself, fancy clothes, new car. You could tell he was now very successful and wealthy.
I asked him how he had been doing and he said great, I've got loads of money, fancy cars and a big house.
I asked him how he came to be so rich and he replied I've been using animal carcasses and boiling them down to a concentrate and selling that for a profit. I've made a killing on the stocks market.
A guy says: "My great grandfather died in the concentration camps"
Then he laughs: "He fell from the guard tower"
"Stop telling jokes about this" His friend replies - "My great grandma also died in concentration camps"
"Oh I'm sorry"
"Yeah, some idiot d**... dude fell on top of her from the guard tower"
Why was the man fired from the orange juice factory?
Because he couldn't concentrate.
First I put in two tablespoons of fresh chopped basil. Then six or so grapes. Then half a banana. A little orange juice concentrate. Then some Metaright high protein paste.
Then she says "Letting you play with my a**... was a mistake."
I called my dad from the shop saying I'd forgotten what orange juice he asked for.
Concentrate he said, but I still couldn't remember!
Why was the blond starring so hard at the orange juice?
It said concentrate.
Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice?
It said "Concentrate"
I once got fired from a canned juice company
Apparently, I got canned because I couldn't concentrate.
Guy comes home from work, finds his blonde haired wife sitting at the kitchen table.
Shes looking at the table, and concentrating super hard. She is visibly frustrated.
Husband asks "What's wrong honey?"
She replies, "I've been working on this puzzle all day. Its supposed to be a tiger, I can't get any of these puzzle pieces to match."
Husband sighs, "Honey... Please put the frosted flakes back in the box."
I used to work at an orange juice factory, but I got canned.
They put the squeeze on me because I couldn't concentrate.
A old TV psychic is given a question in an envelope and asked for the answer to said question without opening the envelope. The psychic holds it up to his head, concentrates, and says "The Answer! Is! 'Perpetuate!'"
Then, the old psychic opens the envelope to read the note inside out loud to the studio audience and says, "The Question! Is! How does a Chinese deli charge their customers...?!"
I got fired from the juice factory
I wasn't concentrating on the job
An actual joke that was told by Jews during World War II
An SS man says to a Jew in a concentration camp: "You are to be killed today, but I will give you a chance. One of my eyes is a glass eye. If you can guess which one it is, I will give you your life."
The Jew looks at the SS man and says, "The left one, Herr Corporal."
"That is correct. How did you recognize it?"
"Because it looks so human."
