Following is our collection of Concentration funnies and chistes working better than reddit. They include dirty puns, clean gags suitable for kids, that are actually fun like the best witze.
Its a concentration camp
Why?
Because chemistry says that concentration decreases while adding water.
Note: My first attempt. Thanks.
Concentration Cramps
I guess calling it Concentration Camp was a bad idea.
Concentration Camps
It's a Concentration camp.
"I'll be 6 soon!"
"Nope"
Lack of concentration.
because they've been to concentration camp.
One jewish man tells a joke to a woman, so he says:
"Why did hitler commit suicide?"
She said: "I don't know."
he replies:".... He saw the gas bill."
Then she said:"That's horrible! How could you say that!"
And he replies: "I'm sorry, I really shouldn't be joking about the holocaust. My great grandfather died in concentration camp."
The girl replies: "I'm so sorry to hear that."
And he says: "Yeah, it's sad, he fell off the guard tower."
While waiting they realise that they both survived the same concentration camp.
After some chatting, one says to the other: "remember that time when the guard pushed you onto the electric fence and you almost died?" A second of silence passes and suddenly they both start laughing hysterically.
Upon calming down the other Jew asks his new friend: "remember when that dog chased you for so long that you ended up exhausted and almost died of hunger?" Another second of silence passes and again, they both start laughing like crazy.
God, overhearing the conversation, approaches the old Jewish couple and asks them what's so funny about any of these events.
They both look up and say: "Oh you wouldn't understand, you just had to be there".
It'll dilute your concentration
It didn't do so well, people kept telling me Concentration Camp was a bad name.
A Concentration Camp!
Concentration Camp
In a concentration camp Hitler catches 5 Jews and asks the first one :
~ How many meters high can you jump?
~ 1 meter, he answered as he was trembling.
Hitler gives him one loaf of bread and asks the same question to the second Jew.
~ 2 meters...replies the second Jew.
Hitler gives two loaves of bread and asks the same question to the third Jew.
~ 3 meters! responds quickly the third Jew.
Hitler draws his gun and blows his minds in air. Now the Jews concerned ask him:
~ Well, why you killed him?
And Hitler replies:
~ He can jump over the fence!
Concentration Camp
Poor guy fell out of the guard tower.
Concentration Camps
a Concentration Camp.
(It flared it religion when its suppose to be a pun?)
They are of poor taste and aren't funny.
My own grandfather died in a concentration camp.
The poor fellow, god bless his soul, went to get some food and accidentally fell down from his watchtower.
I went to the doctors office due to a strange abdominal pain. My doctor adviced me to stop masturbating. "Is it dangerous?" I asked. "No", said the doctor " but it disturbs my concentration".
... just send them to concentration camps.
Concentration camps
Five years he was there on that machine gun tower, and never got a single promotion...
I don't like to talk about the Holocaust either. My grandfather died in a concentration camp.
He got drunk and fell off the guard tower.
(I came in mid-conversation and for me it started like this)
Player1: I cant believe your nick is Jewhunter, that's so offensive! My grandparents were in a concentration camp during the war.
Player2: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, my grandfather died in a concentration camp.
Player1: My god that's awful...
Player2: Yea, he fell down from the guardtower.
Player1 has left the game
Then he laughs: "He fell from the guard tower"
"Stop telling jokes about this" His friend replies - "My great grandma also died in concentration camps"
"Oh I'm sorry"
"Yeah, some idiot dumbass dude fell on top of her from the guard tower"
A concentration camp
I think it's because they used to have concentration camps.
apparently people think calling it a concentration camp is wrong
To a concentration camp
A concentration camp.
I have ADHD, so they're sending me to a concentration camp
He fell out of a guard tower.
An old Jew who survived the German concentration camps is living in America. Every Monday he goes to his local convenience store and buys a lotto ticket. One day he hits a winner and wins big. The first thing he buys is a life size statue of Adolph Hitler to put in his living room. His family and friends are shocked. They can't understand his decision and think that he's losing his marbles. Finally his grandson asks him "Grandpa, why did you buy a statute of that horrible man and put it in your living room?" The old Jew gets down on one knee, rolls up his sleeve and replies "well son, old Adolph gave me the winning numbers."
Concentration camps
Concentration camps.
Beethoven dies and is buried. A few days after his burial the locals notice strange
music coming from the burial site. Alarmed, the villagers get the local priest and head
down to the graveyard. And sure enough the sound was coming from Beethoven's grave.
The locals watch as the priest places the side of his head onto the ground.
Deep in concentration he mutters: "Fifth symphony......fourth symphony....third...aha! Beethoven is decomposing!"
He was sent to a concentration camp
"After the war, when we moved to England, got married and had to work 12 hours a day to pay for a single room, you were by my side."
"Later when my business collapsed and we were again left penniless, you were by my side."
"And now finally, as I prepare to die, you are again by my side."
"I'm beginning to think your a bit of a jinx!"
It was called a Concentration Camp.
Concentration Camp
apple juice
I'm thinking of sending him to a concentration camp.
Apparently no one wants to go to a concentration camp
A concentration camp.
Concentration camp.
Because he sent them all to concentration camps.
Jewmanji
So my parents enrolled me in a concentration camp
now I'm super concentrated on my frustrations.
The dumbass fell from a watchtower.
Because you're basic asf.
The Soviet army is pushing closer to Berlin with each day. As they march closer, they start to find the concentration camps. In one of these camps, a Polish man with a limited knowledge of the Russian language is talking to Russian military officers about the camps, with assistance from a translator. As he explains, he reaches a word he doesn't know, and turns to the translator.
"How do you say civilians?"
"Acceptable casualties."
It turned into a concentration camp
Ju-Haul
Two Native American scouts are hunting buffalo in the Great Planes. One scout hops off of his horse and puts his face to the ground, closing his eyes in concentration.
"Buffalo come!", he exclaims as he lifts his head.
"Did you hear them?", asks the mounted scout.
"No," grunts the man, "face sticky."
By concentration
The concentration camps.
AU SHWITZ
One takes addicts out of people, the other takes people out of attics.
(Works best when said out loud)
She asks the head monk a few questions about improving her concentration in her daily life, but the monk says the answer is too long. He offers to e-mail her later, which leads her to ask, "Are monks allowed to use e-mail?" to which the monk replies, "Sure, as long as they don't have any attachments."
He fell off one of the watchtowers
... would it be called a concentration camp?
Source: Girlfriend with ADHD
Hitler is visiting a concentration camp and he examines the prisoners. They are lined up and they listen all to the Hitlers speech. Suddenly somebody sneezes.
Hitler goes to the first row and asks:"Who did this?"
Nobody responses. First row gets executed.
Hitler goes to the second row and asks:"Who did this?" Still nobody responses. Second row gets executed.
Hitler goes to the third row and asks again:"Who did this?" After some moments of silence one prisoner raises anxiously his arm. Hitler:"Gesundheit!"
To the concentration camp.
Today someone at work made a holocaust joke which I over heard.
I walked over to him and said " you have any idea how offensive it is to tell a holocaust joke?! My grandfather died at a concentration camp over in German, so think before you speak"
He started to apologize and said he was deeply sorry and not to report him to HR.
I said "It is ok, he fell off the guard tower so I am not too offended.
I call it "Concentration Camp"
Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends.