Concentrate Jokes
80 concentrate jokes and hilarious concentrate puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about concentrate that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Concentrate Short Jokes
Short concentrate jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The concentrate humour may include short concentration jokes also.
- Apparently Bruce Willis is only going to concentrate on action films from now on... because you know what they say about old habits...
- Q: Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice bottle for 2 hours? A: Because it said 'concentrate'
- Don't drink water while studying... Why?
Because chemistry says that concentration decreases while adding water.
Note: My first attempt. Thanks. - [Offensive] Adolf visits the concentration camp and asks a young boy how old he is "I'll be 6 soon!"
"Nope" - "I need help with this crossword," yelled my girlfriend, almost in tears. "9 letters, another word for 'concentration'. I think she's seeking attention.
- My friend is getting a new car - a "tangerine" ford focus. Dad drops this one... Tangerine focus... Isn't that the same as orange concentrate?
- I started a summer camp for kids with add/adhd to teach them to manage their symptoms. It didn't do so well, people kept telling me Concentration Camp was a bad name.
- Bruce Willis was offered a role in the new Star Wars film, but turned it down to concentrate on action films Because you know what they say about old habits...
- Translating the German joke Germans only tell Germans. I don't like to talk about the holocaust either. My grandfather died in a concentration camp.
He got drunk and fell off the guard tower. - I called my dad from the shop saying I'd forgotten what orange juice he asked for. Concentrate he said, but I still couldn't remember!
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Concentrate One Liners
Which concentrate one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with concentrate? I can suggest the ones about focus and intensive.
- I recently quit my job at the orange juice factory...... I just couldn't concentrate.
- Why don't Jewish girls study on their period? Concentration Cramps
- Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory? Lack of concentration.
- What is the worst punishment for someone with ADHD? A concentration camp
- Never drink water while studying It'll dilute your concentration
- I got fired from the juice factory today I just couldn't concentrate
- Where do they make Adderall? Concentration Camps
- Did I ever tell you about how I lost my job at Tropicana? I couldn't concentrate.
- why did the orange fail school? It couldn't concentrate.
- What would Chrysler's version of the Ford Focus be called? Chrysler Concentrate
- Why did the acid perform poorly? Because it didn't concentrate.
- How did the jewish boy cure his ADD? He was sent to a concentration camp
- I spent an hour staring at the OJ container yesterday. It said "concentrate."
- What do you get when you cross an orchard with a concentration camp? apple juice
- What do you call milk that comes from cows with their eyes closed? Concentrated milk
Uplifting Concentrate Jokes to have Hilarious Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about concentrate you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean compound jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make concentrate pranks.
I'm not having much luck with jobs lately.
I couldn't concentrate in the orange juice factory; wasn't suited to be a tailor; the muffler factory was just exhausting; couldn't cut it as barber; didn't have the patience to be a doctor; didn't fit in the shoe factory; pool maintenance was too draining and I just couldn't see any future as a historian.
Tiger Woods playing golf.
Sorry if this is a repost, but I found this one quite funny.
Tiger Woods is practicing golf one day, surrounded by fans and media. While he's practicing, an amateur
golfer confidently walks up to him and challenges him to a match. Tiger knew he'd win, so he agrees thinking that it would be a fun break from serious practice. "OK," the amateur says, "Since I'm an amateur and you're a pro, you'll have to allow me two gotchas". Tiger didn't know what a gotchas is, but he didn't ask because he thought he'd win regardless of what handicap is placed on him. The fans and media leave the two alone so they can play in peace.
A few hours later, the two come out of the golf course and it turns out that Tiger Woods lost. The fans and media surrounded him wanting to know what happened. Tiger says, "I was starting the first hole, concentrating to tee off, you know, deep in thought. Right when I was about to drive the ball, he ran up from behind, grabbed my nuts and squeezed them tight while loudly screaming 'GOTCHA!!' can you imagine me trying to play eighteen holes waiting for the next gotcha?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
WW2 joke. I read this conversation between two Counter-Strike players ingame...
(I came in mid-conversation and for me it started like this)
Player1: I cant believe your nick is Jewhunter, that's so offensive! My grandparents were in a concentration camp during the war.
Player2: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, my grandfather died in a concentration camp.
Player1: My god that's awful...
Player2: Yea, he fell down from the guardtower.
Player1 has left the game
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What advice did tiger Woods' dad have for Tiger during training?
Concentrate on golf—f**... everything else.
What kind of vehicle did they use to transport prisoners to concentration camps during the holocaust?
Ju-Haul
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Beethoven
Beethoven dies and is buried. A few days after his burial the locals notice strange
music coming from the burial site. Alarmed, the villagers get the local priest and head
down to the graveyard. And sure enough the sound was coming from Beethoven's grave.
The locals watch as the priest places the side of his head onto the ground.
Deep in concentration he mutters: "Fifth symphony......fourth symphony....third...aha! Beethoven is decomposing!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How did h**... like his orange juice?
Concentrated.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
They say there's safety in numbers...
Tell that to 6 million Jews
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Where do Jewish kids go when they are diagnosed with ADD?
Concentration camps
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'll never forgive the n**... for how they treated my granddad in that concentration camp during the war.
Five years he was there on that machine gun tower, and never got a single promotion...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
75 story hotel
Phil, Jim, and John were at a convention together sharing a large suite at the top of a . After a long day of meetings, they were shocked to hear the elevators were broken, and they now had to climb 75 flights of stairs.
Phil said to Jim and John,"let's break the monotony of this unpleasant task by concentrating on something more interesting. Hmm, I'll tell jokes the first 25 floors, Jim, you can sing songs the next 25 floors and John you can say your collection of sad stories."
The others agreed and they started the climb for their hotel room. At the 26th floor Phil stopped with his jokes and Jim started his songs. At the 51st floor songs stopped and John's sad stories started.
"I guess I'll begin with my saddest story first. I forgot the room key in the car."
(EDIT) FIXED THE GRAMMAR d**...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What was h**...'s favorite drink?
Orange jews, 100% concentrated
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
German scientists have discovered a new drug, derived from the bacteria *Adolfus hitlerii*, which will be applied to people with ADD.
Its ad campaign will carry the slogan "It helps Jew concentrate"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do Germans have such great focus?
I think it's because they used to have concentration camps.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What kind of orange juice do Jews drink?
All kinds, just not concentrated
My doctor prescribed me Adderall to help my concentration and frustration. The only problem is that...
now I'm super concentrated on my frustrations.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Where do german parents send their ADD kids?
Concentration Camps
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the new s**... Fidget spinners?
They really help you concentrate!
What did the quiet orange say to the noisy orange?
"Be quiet! I'm concentrating!"
My parents and I came to the US from Germany when I was a little girl.
They didn't speak much English, but were experienced educators back home. One winter, they decided to open a tutoring/ study session program to help students stay productive and focus over the break. It wasn't until after a flood of angry phone calls and visitors that we realized that "Concentration Camp" was not an ideal program name.
The year is 1945...
The Soviet army is pushing closer to Berlin with each day. As they march closer, they start to find the concentration camps. In one of these camps, a Polish man with a limited knowledge of the Russian language is talking to Russian military officers about the camps, with assistance from a translator. As he explains, he reaches a word he doesn't know, and turns to the translator.
"How do you say civilians?"
"Acceptable casualties."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Hitlers s**...
One jewish man tells a joke to a woman, so he says:
"Why did h**... commit s**...?"
She said: "I don't know."
he replies:".... He saw the gas bill."
Then she said:"That's horrible! How could you say that!"
And he replies: "I'm sorry, I really shouldn't be joking about the holocaust. My great grandfather died in concentration camp."
The girl replies: "I'm so sorry to hear that."
And he says: "Yeah, it's sad, he fell off the guard tower."
I had ADD as a kid
So my parents enrolled me in a concentration camp
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Where do German parents send their children with ADD for the Summer?
Concentration Camp
What board game do they have in Concentration Camps?
Jewmanji
My summer camp, which was all about focus and blocking out distractions, did really poorly this year
Apparently no one wants to go to a concentration camp
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blonde joke
A blonde gets an opportunity to fly to a nearby country. She has never been on an airplane anywhere and was very excited and tense. As soon as she boarded the plane, a Boeing-747, she started jumping in excitement, running over seat to seat and starts shouting, "BOEING! BOEING!! BOEING!!! BO....."
She sort of forgets where she is, even the pilot in the c**...-pit hears the noise. Annoyed by the goings on, the Pilot comes out and shouts "BE SILENT!"
There was pin-drop silence everywhere and everybody is looking at the blonde and the angry Pilot. She stared at the pilot in silence for a moment, concentrated really hard, and all of a sudden started shouting,"OEING! OEING! OEING! OE...."
I'm very appalled by holocaust jokes.
They are of poor taste and aren't funny.
My own grandfather died in a concentration camp.
The poor fellow, god bless his soul, went to get some food and accidentally fell down from his watchtower.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
At the doctors office
I went to the doctors office due to a strange abdominal pain. My doctor adviced me to stop m**.... "Is it dangerous?" I asked. "No", said the doctor " but it disturbs my concentration".
I bumped into an old school friend the other day.
He seemed to be doing very well for himself, fancy clothes, new car. You could tell he was now very successful and wealthy.
I asked him how he had been doing and he said great, I've got loads of money, fancy cars and a big house.
I asked him how he came to be so rich and he replied I've been using animal carcasses and boiling them down to a concentrate and selling that for a profit. I've made a killing on the stocks market.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy says: "My great grandfather died in the concentration camps"
Then he laughs: "He fell from the guard tower"
"Stop telling jokes about this" His friend replies - "My great grandma also died in concentration camps"
"Oh I'm sorry"
"Yeah, some idiot d**... dude fell on top of her from the guard tower"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
First I put in two tablespoons of fresh chopped basil. Then six or so grapes. Then half a banana. A little orange juice concentrate. Then some Metaright high protein paste.
Then she says "Letting you play with my a**... was a mistake."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Stop the concentration camp Jokes!
I find them incredibly offensive. My Grandpa died in one of those concentration camps!
Well, thinking about it...maybe he shouldn't have drank so much while standing on the watchtower...
Joke that has recently become popular in Russia in light of recent protests
- Dad, which concentration camp are we going to?
- Dunno, son, I'm not interested in politics.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
p**... is often frowned upon,
but that's only because I'm concentrating.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Chess Champion
The reporter asked the reigning chess grandmaster "What do you do before your games ?"
"Well", said the champ, "I never have s**... on the night before a big match"
"Does that help you concentrate? "
"I'm not sure" he sighed "I don't have s**... any other night either".
Did you hear about the guy who worked at the canned juice company?
He got fired because he couldn't concentrate.
A old TV psychic is given a question in an envelope and asked for the answer to said question without opening the envelope. The psychic holds it up to his head, concentrates, and says "The Answer! Is! 'Perpetuate!'"
Then, the old psychic opens the envelope to read the note inside out loud to the studio audience and says, "The Question! Is! How does a Chinese deli charge their customers...?!"
The other day, I ran out of apple juice
But I had a big box full of apples at home, so I thought I would try to make some myself.
I stared at that box for over an hour and nothing happened. Then I looked at the empty juice bottle again, and on the label it said "not from concentrate."
Boy did I feel foolish
An actual joke that was told by Jews during World War II
An SS man says to a Jew in a concentration camp: "You are to be killed today, but I will give you a chance. One of my eyes is a glass eye. If you can guess which one it is, I will give you your life."
The Jew looks at the SS man and says, "The left one, Herr Corporal."
"That is correct. How did you recognize it?"
"Because it looks so human."
