Conceding Jokes
31 conceding jokes and hilarious conceding puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about conceding that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Conceding Short Jokes
Short conceding jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The conceding humour may include short jokes also.
- Roy Moore refuses to concede the Alabama Senate race. He keeps insisting that the black votes should only count for 3/5ths.
- Roy Moore refuses to concede the Alabama Election It's almost as if he doesn't understand that no means no!
- Kanye West Concedes After Failing to Get 0.5% of Vote in Early Returns Now he is an electoral college drop out
- Roy Moore still hasn't conceded, which actually makes sense. How could anyone banned from mall food courts know anything about concessions?
- News: Hillary Clinton concedes her defeat to Donald Trump in a private phone call. Safe to say she's learned her lesson with emails!
- When men and women argue who's the most stubborn... Then men concede they are are, because they just don't want to argue this anymore.
- Due to the fact that I've been single for a long time, I've decided to concede to the advice of many.. I'm excited to announce that I have officially married Christmas..
- My wife finally conceded in an ongoing argument we were having about clocks It was about time.
- Why do the Asian public defenders clients always get executed? Because he always concedes to the prosecution that his defendant deserves to be rocked up.
- I wish Stacey Abrams would concede and just give up... Like she did on her weight loss program.
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Conceding One Liners
Which conceding one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with conceding? I can suggest the ones about and .
- If a school shoter has heelies on is it concedered a Driveby
- Roy Moore not conceding defeat He doesn't know the meaning of stop
Conceding Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about conceding you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make conceding pranks.
A married couple was on holiday in Pakistan they were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they passed a small sandal shop.
From the inside they head a Pakistani accent say, "you foreigners come in.
Come in my humble shop." so the married couple walked in.
The Pakistani man said to them, "I have some special sandals I think you'd be interested in.
They make you wild at s**... like a great dessert camel"
Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man had claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being a s**... hero he as.
The husband, "how could sandals make you into a s**... freak?"
The Pakistani man replied, why don't you see for yourself?"
Well , the husband after much badgering from his wife, finally conceded to try them on.
As soon as he slipped then onto this feet, he got this wild look in his eyes, something his wife hadn't seen in years-- raw s**... power.
In a blink of an eye the husband rushed of too the Pakistani man threw him on the table and started tearing at the guy's pants.
All the time the Pakistani man was screaming, "YOU HAVE THEM ON THE WRONG FEET YOU HAVE THEM ON THE WRONG FEET"
Two men were boasting to each other about their old army days.
"Why, my outfit was so well drilled," declared one, "that when they presented arms all you could hear was slap, slap, click."
"Very good," conceded the other, "but when my company presented arms you'd just hear slap, slap, jingle."
"What was the jingle?" asked the first.
"Oh," replied the other offhand, "just our medals."
Two men were boasting to each other about their old army days.
“Why, my outfit was so well drilled,” declared one,
“that when they presented arms all you could hear was slap, slap, click.”
“Very good,” conceded the other, “but when my company presented arms you’d just hear slap, slap, jingle.”
“What was the jingle?” asked the first. “Oh,” replied the other offhand, “just our medals.”
Regal Proceedings
If I was royalty, I would have a kid and call him Artist as a publicity stunt, before conceding to the pressure of public outcry, and renaming him something more regal.
So he may forever become known as The Prince Formerly Known As Artist.
Arguing couple
A married couple drove down a country road for several miles, sitting in silence. An earlier discussion led to an argument in which neither would concede their position.
As they passed by a barnyard full of mules, pigs, and goats, the husband sarcastically asks: "Relatives of yours?"
'Yup,' the wife promptly replies. 'In-laws'
I hate how the losers of every election maintain such a high view of themselves...
They're conceded
Army Captains Are Funny
A new Army Captain is assigned to an outfit in a remote post located in the Afghan desert.
During his first inspection he noticed a camel hitch up behind the mess tent. He asked the Sergeant why the camel was there. Nervously, the Sergeant replied, sir, as you know, there are two hundred and fifty men here on the post and no women. Sometimes the men have urges, that's why we have the camel."
"I can't say I condone this, but I understand their urges. The camel can stay", the Captain conceded.
One month passes and the Captain starts having 'urges' of his own. Crazed with desire, he tells the Sergeant to bring the camel over to his tent. Setting a ladder behind the camel, the Captain climbs and has wild, passionate s**... with the camel.
When he finishes, he turns to the Sergeant and asks, "is that how the men do it?"
"No sir, they usually just ride the camel into town. That's where the girls are."
A golfer is about to tee off
when his friend and a huge gorilla turn up . His friend asks if he would like to play 9 holes with his gorilla, intrigued, the guy agrees and he tees off, straight into the rough.The gorilla however hits a superb shot and lands it an inch from the hole, the golfer concedes the hole. Next hole, same thing, slices it into the rough, but the gorilla hits an amazing drive, less than a centimetre from the hole, the golfer once again concedes. This goes on until, intrigued once more, he asks his friend what the gorillas putting is like, "same as his driving" answers his friend.
Lancelot!
Lancelot, the chief knight of King Arthur, wanted to spend some time with Queen Guinevere. He couldn't, however, get her away from Arthur, so he calls Merlin the wizard to help him.
"I want to be with the Queen, help me"
So Merlin pours some itchy powder in her underwear. Soon, the Queen starts to feel the effect. Arthur, desperate, calls Merlin to advise him on what to do.
"Your majesty, this is an enchantment which only the saliva of noble knight Lancelot can cure. He must apply it to the Queen for three hours"
The King concedes, and Lancelot has his wish granted. The next day, Merlin goes to Lancelot:
"I've kept my part. Pay me"
"What? I won't pay you for only three hours!"
This angers Merlin, who leaves, then puts itchy powder on the King's boxers. Arthur, in pain, calls out:
"Lancelot!"
Joke told by my pastor
There was a couple riding in a car together, arguing. Neither wanted to concede the argument, so they didn't stop. Eventually, they both got tired out, and settled into an angry silence.
A few miles down the road, they passed a barn full of the most disgusting pigs and cows imaginable. The angry wife sniped at her husband, "Are those part of your family?"
The husband responded, "Yes, they're my in-laws."
A couple got into an argument...
A couple got into an argument while on a drive through the countryside. It got quite heated and neither of the two wanted to concede, so they sat in silence for several kilometers.
As they passed a farm full of pigs bathing in mud, the wife spoke up and said:
"Relatives of yours?"
The man replied:
"In-laws."
A novice is working in the scriptorium and he gets to wondering . . .
. . . if he is copying copies of copies of copies of copies, might errors have crept in somewhere. So he asks the abbot, who concedes the point, and descends to the manuscript repository to find the earliest copy of the MS in question.
The novice waits patiently, but the abbot is gone an awfully long time. Finally he ventures in to see what is amiss. There, in the distance, is the abbot. He is moaning to himself, beating his head against a pillar and repeating to himself,
"I cant believe it....the word was celebrate, the word was celebrate...."
Carl Lewis goes to a golf club
The doorman stops him and says, sorry mate, no b**....
Carl says, "What?"
The doorman has to concede, "Yeah sorry mate, it's a bit unconventional nowadays but this is an all white golf club. But there is another Golf Club about 10 minutes down the road..."Carl: "But I'm Carl Lewis" Doorman: "Alright, 5 minutes down the road then"
My son is just starting to use words, and he likes to hold the tv remote to his ear like a phone,...
...and say "Hello." So we'll hold up something to our ears and do the same, as though we were answering his call.
Yesterday I happened to be holding his stuffed animal lamb when he was doing this, so I held the lamb to my ear and responded. I looked over to my wife and said something like "look dear, he's calling me on the lamb-line."
She conceded that that was actually a pretty good one, at least for me.
I saw a girl sitting at the bar the other day, so I went over.
"What's your name?" I asked her
"Chantelle," she said. I looked at her puzzled.
"What?" I asked.
"Chantelle," she repeated. This just confused me even more.
"Come on, seriously, what's your name?" I asked.
"I told you, Chantelle!" She exclaimed.
"Fine then!" I conceded. "I Chantelle you mine either."
My buddy told me he got laid off from his job reviewing vendors on eBay, Amazon, etc...
...so I said "Sorry to hear that, man. Let's go grab some m**... and we'll tweak out to forget about it."
"Nah," he said. "I don't really feel like it."
"Come on," I urged. "A little crystal will do you good."
"I don't know..." he mumbled.
"Dude, let's get cranked already!" I implored.
"All right, man-- you fly, I'll buy!" he finally conceded.
Which just goes to show, if you want to pick up speed you've got to press on the ex seller rater.
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically,
"Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."