Computing Jokes

74 computing jokes and hilarious computing puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about computing that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Welcome to the world of computing science! If you are a computing teacher or a student, or just someone who loves exploring the wonders of quantum computing, cloud computing, cpus, propulsion, and errors, then this article is for you! Learn about the funniest jokes associated with all of these topics, and laugh along with the computer professionals!

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Funniest Computing Short Jokes

Short computing jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The computing humour may include short computer science jokes also.

  1. What's the difference between a computer and an American? An American doesn't have trouble-shooting.
  2. The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an apple but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
  3. My grandad asked me how to print on his computer... I told him it's Ctrl-P. He says he hasn't been able to do that for ages.
  4. Corona must have hit India hard... I´ve not recieved a single phone call this week from
    Microsoft to warn me about a virus on my computer.
  5. My boss calls me "The computer" Not because of my calculation skills but because I go to sleep when left unattended for 15 minutes.
  6. A computer programmer goes to buy some bread. On his way out, his wife says, "and while you're there, get a carton of eggs".
    He never returned.
  7. What's the difference between a vegan and a computer programmer? One is disgusted by rack of lamb and the other is disgusted by lack of RAM.
  8. How did the computer hacker get away from the scene of the crime? I think they just ransomware.
  9. What is the difference between USA and USB? One connects to your computer and accesses all your data. The other is an industry standard.
  10. I painted my computer black so it would run faster. Now it doesn't work.
    Then I painted my computer white so it would work.
    Now the whole system is corrupt.

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Computing One Liners

Which computing one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with computing? I can suggest the ones about computer programming and computer engineering.

  1. Screw that clown from IT. Always joking around when he should be fixing my computer.
  2. I like my women how I like my computer. On my lap.
    Turned on.
    Virus free.
  3. Painted my computer black hoping it would run faster... Now it just doesn't work.
  4. What does Stephen hawking say when his computer crashes? Nothing.
  5. What do computers eat? Micro chips!
  6. Do not use beef stew as a computer password. It is not stroganoff.
  7. How many Mexicans does it take to run a computer? Dos
  8. What do you call a computer mouse that swears a lot? A cursor!
  9. I burned my finger on my computer processor. It MHz.
  10. What do you call a dying airport computer? A terminal terminal terminal.
  11. Are quantum computers going to change our world? Yes and no.
  12. Why is Voldemort so good with computers? He's fluent in Python
  13. Why were all the computers in the company frozen? Because they let IT go
  14. My computer just said hello to me. I think it's A Dell.
  15. I painted my computer black last night Now it runs much faster

Quantum Computing Jokes

Here is a list of funny quantum computing jokes and even better quantum computing puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A man calls quantum IT support and complains that his quantum computer isn't working. Quantum IT support: "Have you tried turning it off and on at the same time?"
  • What message does a quantum computer have when you view an image? "Do you want to save changes?"
  • Why do quantum computers make terrible community leaders? Because you can never be sure of their true values.
  • I refuse to accept non-binary Quantum computers are expressly forbidden in this house.
    (Everyone I know cringed, so I figured yall may like it.)
  • I work at IBM as a quantum computer developer and last night i hooked up with a gender studies graduate. we had nothing in common,
    but eventually we bonded over our mutual hatred for binary systems.
  • Can a quantum computer run Crysis? yes and no
  • Not looking forward to one day having to buy a Quantum Laptop Computer... I *still* haven't even finished paying the last bill from my Quantum Mechanic!
  • The journalist asked, "Excuse me, is it true that quantum computing could spell the end of civilization as we know it?" The scientist replied:
    "Yes ... and no. It's a bit uncertain."
  • I just lost my quantum computer! I checked to see if it was on, and now I don't know where it is...
  • I'm not happy with my new Quantum Computer Every time I try to solve a problem it collapses

Computing Power Jokes

Here is a list of funny computing power jokes and even better computing power puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • How Can You Tell When The NSA is Monitoring Your Computer? The power is on and you're connected to the internet.
  • You can buy USB-powered taillights... I guess they're for safely backing up your computer.
  • I am rebranding computers' energy saving mode It's a power nap.
  • When my kids play The Sims, I always disconnect the power from the computer just after they've finished making their family It's character building
  • Excorcising an evil computer be like... The power of Christ compiles you!
  • A computer beat up a guy and then promptly ran out of power. He was charged with battery.
  • In 20 years, computers will be over 10,000 times more powerful than they are now In fact, some researchers suggest they may even be able to run Windows 10 without crashing.
  • I regret buying that top of the line PC; computing power doubles every 18 months so the computer is now obsolete. I'm feeling buyers remoore's.
  • One day, scientists will make a very powerful computer They will ask. "Is there a god?"
    And the computer shall respond, after a moment of silence
    "There is one now."
  • Chuck Norris makes Power Point look weak.
Computing joke

Computing Teacher Jokes

Here is a list of funny computing teacher jokes and even better computing teacher puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do you call a computer teacher that hits on his students? A PDF-ile
  • Yesterday, my computer science teacher was teaching us about for-loops... ... he said it was a *for n* concept.
  • What do you call a creepy Computer Science teacher? A PDF file
  • I was taking a test today for school when the teacher told us that the test would close if we opened a new tab. Thank goodness I opened a new computer up instead.
  • A computer science teacher asks the class to turn to page 404. The students search feverishly, to no avail
  • My teacher was impressed with my mediocre computer programming project He gave me a C++!
  • why did the computer go to the cafe?, and who is the king of the classroom? to get a byte, and
    the ruler!!!
    my one sub teacher tells absolutely terrible jokes everytime we have her!
  • PE Teacher: "Why did you kick that ball straight at the school computer?"
    Pupil: "You told me to put it on the Net."
  • Every day at my 4 PM computer science class that the teacher is late to... "4:04 teacher not found"
  • My Math teacher told me 0! = 1 But my computer teacher told me 0 != 1

Cloud Computing Jokes

Here is a list of funny cloud computing jokes and even better cloud computing puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • In Heaven, computers don't need a lot of space. It's all stored on the cloud.
  • Me and my friend were having a nerdy debate over our preferred methods of backing up computer data... I told him cloud storage was overRAIDed.
  • The Jews are the first to know computing.... because Moses went into the Cloud and received info in Tablets.
  • My older brother once told me you could use Final Fantasy VII to solve your math problems... Turns out it *was* pretty great at Cloud Computing.
  • How do you save things on your computer in heaven? In the cloud.

Computing Science Jokes

Here is a list of funny computing science jokes and even better computing science puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A mugger jumps out in front of a university student... ...and shouts "your money or your life!"
    The student keeps walking, and says "Sorry mate, I'm a Computer Science student. I don't have either".
  • My brother wanted to play cowboys and indians So I put on a ten gallon hat and and chaps and he went to MIT and graduated in computer science.
  • There are 2 truly difficult problems in Computer Science 0: Naming things
    1: Cache invalidation
    2: Off by one errors
  • What do you call it when computer science majors make fun of each other? Cyber boolean
  • I majored in Politics, Computer Science, and Dance. Now I'm stuck writing Al Gore Rhythms.
  • The girls in my computer science class are like the matrix All you see is a bunch of ones and zeroes
  • An SQL query walks into a bar. Looking around, he sees a pair of tables. Going up to them, he asks, "Excuse me, but do you mind if I join you?"
  • Why did Steve Irwin fail his computer science class? String Arrays
  • A programming joke There are three hard problems in computer concurrency. science. Cache invalidation, naming things, off-by-one errors, and
  • I would talk about computer science... But it makes my mother board
Computing joke, I would talk about computer science...

Fun-Filled Computing Jokes to Make You and Your Friends Chuckle & Giggle

What funny jokes about computing you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean gaming jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make computing pranks.

A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, "Do you have that book for men with small p**...?"

The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet."
"Yeah, that's the one!"

I thought my son was spending too much time playing computer games, so I stopped him and said, "Son, when Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace."

He considered that for a moment before replying, "Yeah, well, when Abe Lincoln was your age, he was The President of the United States."

Wife texts husband on a cold winter morning: "Windows frozen, won't open."

Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and then gently tap edges with hammer."
Wife texts back 10 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now."

Why is everyone criticising EA?

I've only ever known EA as an excellent video game company and pioneer of the early home computer games industry. EA has always had my enjoyment as their primary concern and their community involvement is phenomenal.
($50 has been deposited into your Paypal account, remember to delete this part of the message before posting it).

A guy walks into a library and asks the librarian, "do you have that book for men with small p**...?"

The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet."
The man replies, "Yeah that's the one."

Computing joke, How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of the crime?