computing Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious computing puns

A Linux Joke

In computing, what's the only way to generate a truly random string?

Put a Windows user in front of VI and tell him to quit.

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Message from space

NASA picks up an unexpected signal from space and the whole world is excited about the discovery. After a lot of hard work, an international team of scientists decrypts and translates the transmission.
The revealed message is: "PLEASE TELL US ABOUT YOURSELVES".

Computing resources of the whole Earth are used to translate, encrypt and transmit the response, that starts with "WE ARE HUMANS" and lists major accomplishments of the human race. Some minor wars occur to decide which accomplishments to include.


After some delay a new message comes from space:
"WTF, HUMANS. WE WEREN'T EVEN TALKING TO YOU AND THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ENCRYPTED. WOULD YOU KINDLY FUCK OFF?"

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Computing Pirates

What's a pirate's favorite computer language?

Aye, you'd think it was R, but tis the C

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Why are colleges starting to teach quantum computing?

When professors try to explain binary states, the students tell them to go educate themselves.

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My friend asked me what my Computing Logic class was about..

"Mostly boolshit."

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Computing Sandwich

A relative walks into my kitchen

As I have my sandwich, he stares intently, and asks if he is able to get a bite of my sandwich.

With some annoyance, I set aside 2 nibbles, on a white porcelain plate.

He glares at me, obviously dissatisfied at the portion that was provided.

"Give me another bite," he growls.

And so yet again, I took a huge bite of my sandwich, and set aside 8 bits of whatever remained for the hungry bastard.

He went livid.

"I'll have a word with your father," he scowled.

"Don't bother," I replied, "He isn't into sharing sandwiches."

TLDR: because 4 bits make a nibble, and 8 bits make a byte, and a word is worth a few bytes.

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Why do people in tumblr like quantum computing?

Because it's non binary

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I regret buying that top of the line PC; computing power doubles every 18 months so the computer is now obsolete.

I'm feeling buyers remoore's.

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I study computing and get no attention in my household.

So I just disable my WiFi and all my family come running to me.

This is a funny but is actually the truth in my household, believe it or not :)

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Your mama is so fat that

the recursive function computing her mass causes a stack overflow

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Why are people surprised that when it comes to computing, women choose Mac?

They descended from Eve after all.

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How does DrDisRespect afford his expensive computing equipment?

I mean, it must cost a lot to feed two families.

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The Jews are the first to know computing....

because Moses went into the Cloud and received info in Tablets.

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I'm a Tumblr user and computer scientist,

i'm boycotting binary computing.

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My older brother once told me you could use Final Fantasy VII to solve your math problems...

Turns out it *was* pretty great at Cloud Computing.

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Went to a computing convention the other day and started to talking to this one woman

I asked her for her number ,she said yes and gave me this

168.228.184.112

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Tina Turner has just created her own super computing system

She's figured out a way to run it, using just water and heat. Apparently she's gonna call it Steamy Windows

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What are the most funny Computing jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Computing? Well, here are the best Computing dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Computing pick up lines to share with friends.

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