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Computer Virus Jokes

60 computer virus jokes and hilarious computer virus puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about computer virus that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Computer Virus Short Jokes

Short computer virus jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The computer virus humour may include short virus jokes also.

  1. Corona must have hit India hard... I´ve not recieved a single phone call this week from
    Microsoft to warn me about a virus on my computer.
  2. My computer has a virus that causes unblockable popups and constantly demands my personal information... ...it's called Norton
  3. So I got a virus on my computer And the thing is, I didn't do anything and it just disappeared.
    Must have ransomware.
  4. Fix a man's computer, and he will be virus-free for a day. Teach a man to fix his computer, and he will be virus-free for a day.
  5. Computer virus are no joke I used to have a girlfriend but she ransomware.
    I WannaCry now... ;(
  6. My girlfriend dissapeared when she got a virus on her computer one day and never came back. I guess she Ransomware..
  7. Did you hear about the virus that only infected children's computers? Yeah I thought it was just a pdf-file.
  8. Son: "Mom! The computer is full of viruses!" Mom: "Screw the computer! I just won 2 free iPads and a free trip to Paris!"
  9. I don't understand why Windex didn't get rid of my computer virus. I was told it's great at disinfecting Windows!
  10. WARNING IF YOU HAVE SEEN A LINK ON THE INTERNET OFFERING FREE DONUTS, DO NOT CLICK ON IT. IT IS A VIRUS THAT FORCES CAPS LOCK TO BE PERMANENTLY ACTIVATED ON YOUR COMPUTER!
    // THE POLICE

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Computer Virus One Liners

Which computer virus one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with computer virus? I can suggest the ones about computer error and computer problem.

  1. I like my women how I like my computer. On my lap.
    Turned on.
    Virus free.
  2. I installed anti virus software on my computer Now my computer has autism
  3. What kind of computer virus attacks kids A PDF file
  4. My computer died after getting a virus. It was a terminal illness.
  5. My computer is infected with the Miley Cyrus virus. It has stopped twerking.
  6. If I freeze, it's not a computer virus. I was just stunned by your beauty.
  7. I caught a computer virus once. My thumbnails fell off...
  8. My computer's got Miley Virus. It has stopped twerking.
  9. I like my girls like I like my computers... Without Viruses.
  10. What do you call a computer virus? An STD-card
  11. Why did the computer get a virus? He wasn't using protection.
  12. What did they say about the computer at the Bunny Ranch? It may contain viruses.
  13. Chuck Norris can infect a mac with pc viruses.
  14. Why did the computer catch a virus? Because they forgot windows open.
  15. How could Steven Hawking die if he is a robot computer? Must've been a virus

Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Computer Virus Jokes with Friends.

What funny jokes about computer virus you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean computer crashing jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make computer virus pranks.

Womens are like computer virus...
they ENTER your life...
SEARCH your pocket...
SHIFT your balance ...
CONTROL your life...
when you become an old version DELET you from the system

Daddy, how was I born?
Ah, very well, one day you need to find out anyway!
Mom and Dad got together in a chat room on MSN.
Dad set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber cafe.
We snuck into a secluded room, and then your mother downloaded from your dad's memory stick.
As soon as dad was ready for an upload, it was discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall.
Since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later the blessed virus appeared. And that's the story.

What illness makes you sneeze on your laptop screen?

A computer virus!

My girlfriends are like computers.

I mistreat them, load them with viruses, and then I break them.

Life Before The Computer

Memory was something you lost with age
An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity
A keyboard was a piano
A web was a spider's home
A virus was the flu
A CD was a bank account
A hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And if you had a 3 inch floppy ..
... you just hoped nobody ever found out!!

How do you know an african has used your computer?

Out of nowhere, it has a virus.

My computer has a virus.

It's called the common cold.
It makes your computer freeze up.

Computers are like women

At first you cherish them with all your love. Then, as time goes on you become more careless. Until one day you realize...
*You have a virus*

What do you get when you cross a Swedish tennis pro, a computer virus, and an insatiable hunger for mort flesh?

Cyborg Bjorn Borg hosting smorgasbords at the morgue.

What is a computer virus's favorite food?

Wingdings,

What's the easiest way to get a virus into ISIS computer systems?

By sending them executables.

Why did the blonde give her computer bacteriostatic?

Her IT friend said her computer had a virus.

A joke for those who are not exactly tech savvy.

Your computer and/or phone is now infected with a dangerous virus. Comment your personal info to receive instructions on how to remove.

What does a computer geek get when bit by a mosquito?

An IEEE Virus

Did you hear about the computer virus that led to the ruin of the first men?

Apparently it was an apple, and all it took was one byte

Screen savers are viruses.

They sit silently waiting for the right time to take over your computer.

When a computer gets a virus, it crashes. When a computerized car gets a virus

It *crashes*

I told my girlfriend that my w**... is like a computer

She said "is it because its like a hard drive and is made of metal"
Wait till she finds out its more like "" microsoft and has a lot of viruses""

My computer has this disgusting virus that has completed slowed everything down.

It's called "Internet Explorer".

The robot stabbing

What's the robot equivalent of a poisoned dagger?

A flash drive with a computer virus.

Day 268 at home And the dog continues looking at me like See?? This is why I chew furniture.

I've eaten 9 meals and taken 4 naps, and it's STILL today. Are you kidding me?
In case you've lost track, today is December 268...
This virus has turned us all into dogs. We roam the house all day grazing for
food. We're told "NO!" if we get too close to strangers. We get really excited about car rides.
My wife said if I don't get off the computer and help with the dishes, she'll slam my head on the keyboard. I think she's jokinoifghcxiegcrwlwefggxm
lkergx eyt3ruhcmergceg ewgucc ce;oeijf !!!

jokes about computer virus