Computer Scientist Jokes
48 computer scientist jokes and hilarious computer scientist puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about computer scientist that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Computer Scientist Short Jokes
Short computer scientist jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The computer scientist humour may include short computer engineer jokes also.
- I'm a scientist who's researching b**... between humans and dogs… If you'd like more details, I'll be in my lab…
- How can you tell the difference between an influencer and a computer scientist? By checking how they pronounce the word bios
- How do you tell the difference between a computer scientist and an aspiring music artist? Ask them what 'unsigned' means.
- Why did the computer scientist die in the shower? The shampoo bottle put him in an infinite loop.
- Why are so many computer scientists atheists? Because praying for a bug fix is guaranteed to fail.
- Why do computer scientists make such lousy lovers? 'Cause they always want to do the job faster than before. And when they do, they say the performance has improved.
- Why did the computer scientist die in the shower? The bottle of shampoo said, "Lather, Rinse, Repeat."
- How do you tell the difference between a Computer Scientist, a Computer Engineer, and a Chemical Engineer? Ask them what PCB means.
- A computer scientist was once offered the opportunity to feed a shark. He turned it down, because he did not want to RISC losing his ARM.
- French computer scientists have come up with a better way of sharing electronic files. It's a Pierre to Pierre network.
Share These Computer Scientist Jokes With Friends
Computer Scientist One Liners
Which computer scientist one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with computer scientist? I can suggest the ones about computer programmer and computer science.
- Why do computer scientists confuse halloween with christmas? Because
Oct 31 = Dec 25 - Why do computer scientists get Halloween and Christmas mixed up? Because Oct 31 = Dec 25.
- Why do scientists dislike computer science? Because it's a sudo-science.
- I'm a Tumblr user and computer scientist, i'm boycotting binary computing.
- What's a Computer Scientist's favorite gum? XORbit
- How did the computer scientist cure his mental disease? He trained his neural network.
- Why are all computer scientists such pessimists? They always worry about the worst case!
- Where do computer scientists go to have a drink? To the f**....
Cheerful Fun Computer Scientist Jokes to Brighten Your Day with Humor and Joy
What funny jokes about computer scientist you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean computer nerd jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make computer scientist pranks.
How do you tell an introverted computer scientist from an extroverted computer scientist?
An extroverted computer scientist looks at your shoes when he talks to you.
Conjecture: All odd numbers are prime.
Mathematician's Proof:
3 is prime. 5 is prime. 7 is prime. By induction, all odd numbers are prime.
Physicist's Proof:
3 is prime. 5 is prime. 7 is prime. 9 is experimental error. 11 is prime. 13 is prime ...
Engineer's Proof:
3 is prime. 5 is prime. 7 is prime. 9 is prime. 11 is prime. 13 is prime ...
Computer Scientists's Proof:
3 is prime. 3 is prime. 3 is prime. 3 is prime...
A chemical engineer, a mechanical engineer, and a computer scientist are on a road trip...
A chemical engineer, a mechanical engineer, and a computer scientist are on a road trip when all of a sudden their car breaks down. They pull over to the side of the road and start hypothesizing what is wrong. The chemical engineer says "It's probably something wrong with the catalytic converter." The mechanical engineer says "It's probably something wrong with the engine." The computer scientist says "Let's get out, get back in, and see if it starts!"
A team of computer scientists just announced their discovery of the new largest prime number.
Apparently it's 5x larger than the last one!
Did you hear about the Bangladeshi computer scientist?
Apparently, he is really good at hacking!
Did you hear that computer scientists have designed and built the perfect tennis player?
He's a big server.
One day, scientists will make a very powerful computer
They will ask. "Is there a god?"
And the computer shall respond, after a moment of silence
"There is one now."
In the future, a group of scientists invent a very powerful computer
The scientists ask, "Is there a god?"
...
And the computer responds, "There is one now."
A physicist, a biologist, a mathematician, and a computer scientist get coffee at a street café.
A physicist, a biologist, a mathematician, and a computer scientist are sitting in a street café watching people entering and leaving the house on the other side of the street. First they see two people entering the house. Time passes. After a while they notice three people leaving the house.
The physicist says, "The measurement wasn't accurate."
The biologist says, "They must have reproduced."
The mathematician says, "If one more person enters the house then it will be empty."
The computer scientist says, "They must have used a b**...."
Four students are having a problem with their car...
Four students are having a problem with their car and are forced to stop on the side of the road.
"The ignition is damaged" says the electrical engineer.
"The fuel pipe is clogged" says the chemist.
"Engines is damaged" says the engineer.
"Lets just get out of the car and get in again" says the computer scientist.
Wife or Girlfriend
A physicist, a mathematician and a computer scientist discuss what is better: a wife or a girlfriend. The physicist: "A girlfriend. You still have freedom to experiment." The mathematician: "A wife. You have security." The computer scientist: "Both. When I'm not with my wife, she thinks I'm with my girlfriend. With my girlfriend it's vice versa. And I can be with my computer without anyone disturbing me..."
Joke for computer scientist
How many kinds of people do exist?
10 - those who understand computers and those who don't.
A car with 3 engineers and 1 computer scientist stalls on the freeway...
The mechanical engineer says: "lets check the carborator, it's probably the carborator"
The chemical engineer says: "its most likely the gas line, lets check that"
The electrical engineer says: "no, it has to be the car's circuts"
The computer scientist thinks for a minute and says: "lets all get out of the car and get back in"
A scientist was being interviewed by the press
The press asked him "Can you explain to us about quantum computers?"
He replied "Yes and No at the same time"
The computer scientist failed when trying to hit on his waitress
ERROR: Connection to server not found
How can you tell apart a computer scientist and an aspiring musician?
Ask them what 'unsigned' means.
A biologist, a statistician, a mathematician and a computer scientist are on a photo-safari in Africa
They drive out on the savannah in their jeep, stop and scout the horizon with their binoculars.
The biologist says, "Look! There's a herd of zebras! And there, in the middle, a white zebra! There are white zebra's! We'll be famous!"
The statistician explains, "It's not significant. We only know there's one white zebra."
The mathematician corrects him: "Actually, we only know there exists a zebra, which is white on one side."
The computer scientist exclaims "Oh, no! A special case!"
How do you tell the difference between a classical musician and a computer scientist?
Ask them what 'oboe' is.
Thomas Edison was certainly one of history's greatest scientists.
If not for his invention, right now we would be using our computers by candlelight.
A group of computer scientists walk into a restaurant
They ask for a table for 4
The waitress replies 'but sir, there's 5 of you'
The computer scientist says 'no, look there's 4 of us, see! 0...1...2..3..4..'
It was surprisingly easy to get a job at the zoo as a computer scientist
Probably because I am fluent in Python
I'm a computer scientist and my life used to be a mess.
Thankfully, I was eventually able to get my life in order after nlog(n) attempts.
I wish I could show everyone out there how to do the same, but you have to be the right sort.
A theological one for the computer scientists
After the animals exited the ark, the Lord came to the animals and the Lord spoke "Go forth and multiply".
The snakes came to him and said "Oh Lord, we cannot fulfil the commandment, for we are adders"
Thus spoke the Lord "Go and cut down the trees, and out of the trees you shall fashion furniture. For adders can multiply with the aid of log tables"
The journalist asked, "Excuse me, is it true that quantum computing could spell the end of civilization as we know it?"
The scientist replied:
"Yes ... and no. It's a bit uncertain."
