Computer Science Jokes
62 computer science jokes and hilarious computer science puns to laugh out loud. Read space jokes about computer science that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Computer Science Short Jokes
Short computer science jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The computer science humour may include short computing science jokes also.
- A mugger jumps out in front of a university student... ...and shouts "your money or your life!"
The student keeps walking, and says "Sorry mate, I'm a Computer Science student. I don't have either". - My brother wanted to play cowboys and indians So I put on a ten gallon hat and and chaps and he went to MIT and graduated in computer science.
- There are 2 truly difficult problems in Computer science 0: Naming things
1: Cache invalidation
2: Off by one errors - I majored in Politics, Computer Science, and Dance. Now I'm stuck writing al gore Rhythms.
- The girls in my computer science class are like the matrix All you see is a bunch of ones and zeroes
- [Walks into a bar] An sql query walks into a bar. Looking around, he sees a pair of tables. Going up to them, he asks, "Excuse me, but do you mind if I join you?"
- A programming joke There are three hard problems in computer concurrency. science. Cache invalidation, naming things, off-by-one errors, and
- I'm teaching my white blood cells math and my red blood cells computer science Once they become STEM cells I am hoping to regrow a finger.
- Yesterday, my computer science teacher was teaching us about for-loops... ... he said it was a *for n* concept.
- Don't confuse your Google search with my computer scienc-- -- actually, never mind. It amounts to the same thing.
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Computer Science One Liners
Which computer science one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with computer science? I can suggest the ones about computer engineering and computer scientist.
- What do you call it when computer science majors make fun of each other? Cyber boolean
- Why did Steve Irwin fail his computer science class? String Arrays
- I would talk about computer science... But it makes my mother board
- What do you call a creepy Computer Science teacher? A PDF file
- What do you call a nap in computer science class? A CS-ta
- Where does a gay computer science major work? Back end development
- Why isn't there any beautiful girl in computer science? Because they're all 0's and 1's
- Why did the computer science student drop out? He just couldn't hack it.
- Why do scientists dislike computer science? Because it's a sudo-science.
- I received a document about the ROM in my computer science class it was read only.
Share Hilarious Computer Science Jokes and Enjoy Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about computer science you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean computer programming jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make computer science pranks.
A group of computer science geeks were listening to a lecture about Java programming at a university.
After the lecture, one of the men leaned over and grabbed a woman’s breast.
Woman: Hey! That’s private OK ?
The man hesitated for a second looking confused.
Man: But I thought we were in the same class.
How do you tell an introverted computer scientist from an extroverted computer scientist?
An extroverted computer scientist looks at your shoes when he talks to you.
Computer diagnosis
One day, Pete complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor."
His friend said, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.
Simply put in a sample of your u**..., and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about and it will only cost you $10.00."
Pete figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a u**... sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00.
The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper which read:
1. You have tennis elbow.
2. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labor.
3. It will be better in two weeks.......
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this computer could be fooled.
He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and u**... samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he m**... into the concoction.
He went back to the drug store, located the computer, poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00. The machine again made the usual noises, flashed its alights, and printed out the following analysis:
1. Your tap water is too hard.
2. Get a water softener.
3. Your dog has ringworm.
4. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
5. Your daughter is using c**....
6. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic.
7. Your wife is pregnant ....... twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
8. And if you don't stop m**..., your elbow will never get better.
Computer Science joke: After you've been bit 8 times by a mosquito does that been you have a mosquito byte?
Not understanding this joke is what causes malaria.
Your computer science teaching momma is so fat...
... she can flatten a binary tree in O(1).
Artificial Intelligence
An Annapolis computer science major was given an artificial intelligence assignment for one of his classes. He ended up creating a program where you could have a conversation with your computer based on your IQ level.
To test his program he entered 80 and had a conversation with his Soap Operas. He entered 100 and talked about politics. He entered 150 and talked about nuclear physics.
Just to see what would happen he entered a -50 and the computer bumped and belched and sparked and smoked for a good 10 minutes. When it finally settled down it displayed "On Brave Old Army Team....."
Some recent grads having a beer..
Three guys, Mike, Dave, and Doug were at a table in a bar enjoying some beers and conversation. A stranger came by and asked if he could join them and was immediately welcomed. After about an hour of lively conversation the stranger said, I can tell you are all recent college grads. I bet I can guess where each of you went to school.
That would be interesting, said Doug, I'd like to see how you could do that.
Well, Mike here, he's Harvard. That's easy. He's got the Haavard accent. He also made reference to some obscure points of business law and his stylish business suit seals the deal.
And Dave has got to be MIT. The smudged glasses and black t-shirt are a clue. He also made some references that show he has a good grasp of quantum theory and computer science.
That's amazing, said Doug. What about me?
Oh. You went to West Virginia University.
How do you know? asked Doug.
I saw your class ring while you were picking your nose.
Computer Science major walks into an English class
The Professor says "Welcome to English 101".
The student panicks.
"What's wrong?" asks the Professor.
"I missed the first 4 English classes".
(Computer science) I asked a Texan if he's seen his family tree,
he said, "you mean family graph?"
Just got my grades back for my computer science class.
Apparently, I got a C++ on my final.
Every day at my 4 PM computer science class that the teacher is late to...
"4:04 teacher not found"
A computer science student...
...was writing a note to his crush before lecture. The student next to him grabbed the note.
The first student tried to grab it back. You can't see that, it's private!
The second student protested, But we're in the same class
A young computer science student is on the phone with his father...
His father says: "so how have your classes been going?"
The son replies: "not bad. I did really well on my test on hexadecimal today! It was only worth fifteen points, but I'm still happy about it."
"Oh yeah? What grade did you get?"
"An F!"
My university just announced a Computer Science exchange program with an Indonesian university
I'm really excited for the courses in Java
How physicists see other sciences:
Biology: squishy physics
Geology: slow physics
Computer Science: virtual physics
Psychology: people physics
Chemistry: impure physics
Math: physics minus the units
A computer science teacher asks the class to turn to page 404.
The students search feverishly, to no avail
There are IO types of people in computer science.
Those who understand this joke and those who don't.
I wanted to study Computer Science but then I stopped...
Turns out its just a sudo science.
I was going to write a science fiction story about a planet where people worshipped a computer...
but I realized it would just be a deus ex machina.
I've decided I'm going to major in computer science and Japanese.
I'm gonna master weeb design.
Why didn't the client tip the server?
Because they didn't have enough cache!
(Computer Science nerds unite! This is my original joke, I originally posted it on Imgflip last year with bad pun dog and it got a decent response.)
Why can a girl not get laid in the computer science field?
the odds might be good. but the goods are odd
What do computer sciences and climate change dance parties have in common?
Al Gore rhythms
My computer science professor was fired for giving a lecture in Octal
My school has very strict policies regarding eight-speech.
One thing I know is that a computer science major didn't name the original pokemon.
Otherwise, charmander would evolve into stringmander.
You might be a r**... if you know computer science.
My car engine light needs advanced programming to overcome.
If you want to be a computer science major, all you have do is get sick.
Before long you'll be coughing and hacking.
There are two hard things in computer science: cache invalidation, naming things, and off-by-one errors.
Oh and weird concurrency bugs.
Oh and weird concurrency bugs.
A Computer Science student at MIT showed up at his buddies dorm room with a new bike.
His buddy said sweet bike, where'd ya get it?
You'll never believe this, he said, I was walking across campus and this beautiful blonde on a bike stopped, threw down her bike, tore off all her clothes and said _take whatever you want!_
His buddy stared at him blankly for a minute, then said smart. Her clothes would have never fit you.
Four teachers are talking in the staffroom
The English teacher said: "I had a particularly dim pupil today ask me what came after 'F', I made sure be kind when I told him it was 'G'"
The music teacher replied with "I think I taught the same boy, he must've been confused when I told him that naturally F sharp came after F."
The computer science teacher chimed in with "Interestingly I told him that 1 came after F since we're learning hex at the moment"
The PE teacher after quietly listening in sheepishly admits "I told him it's okay, you can always train to teach gym".
What did the Computer Science major say to the English major?
Yeah I'll take a #3 with a small fry and a Dr. Pepper, and a #7, just the sandwich. Do you guys still have that smoky barbeque sauce or has it been discontinued?
"I'm so sorry, my dog ate my homework." Rolling his eyes, my computer science professor shot back, "Really?! Your dog ate your coding assignment?"
"Well, to be perfectly honest, it did take him a couple bytes."
