Computer Programming Jokes
55 computer programming jokes and hilarious computer programming puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about computer programming that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Computer Programming Short Jokes
Short computer programming jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The computer programming humour may include short computer programmer jokes also.
- I'm surprised more people didn't know about the NSA spying programs I mean most of our computers are labelled "Intel"
- I used to date computer programs but that's over now My girlfriend still worries that I may go back but I reply to her "they're just exes "
- A programming genius named Sewter Built a limerick-writing computer
The metre was fine
And the rhymes quite divine
But for some reason it always got the last line wrong - I almost bought a huge library out of old computer programming books... ...but the ascii price was way too high.
- A programming joke There are three hard problems in computer concurrency. science. Cache invalidation, naming things, off-by-one errors, and
- Did you hear about the computer nerd who was eaten alive by a giant snake? Now he's programming in python.
- Why did the computer split up with the programming language. Because 1 or more arguments were invalid!
- If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.
The rest of them will write Perl programs. - My university just announced a Computer Science exchange program with an Indonesian university I'm really excited for the courses in Java
- If the universe really is a computer program. .. I guess Jesus really does save us.
Probably in a file somewhere.
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Computer Programming One Liners
Which computer programming one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with computer programming? I can suggest the ones about computer programer and computer science.
- What language is most commonly used during computer programming? Foul Language!!!
- What do Hutts use to program computers? JabbaScript
- Got a B in my computer programming class Call that a C++
- How did my computer eat the programming assignment? It took a couple bytes.
- How do you program a computer to make beef stew? You use bullion logic.
- My teacher was impressed with my mediocre computer programming project He gave me a C++!
- There are only two certain things in computer programming life... death and syntax (end).
- What is a furries favorite computer program? Winrawr
- Im thinking about studying computer programming next year... So i can C# in 2020
- What is the most commonly used language in computer programming? Foul
- How does a Jedi exit a computer program? He Force quits.
- What did Adele's first computer program do? It printed "hello world, it's me"
- How did AL Gore program his computer? With the proper al-gor-ithms
- [Computer Games] Enemy: Where have you learned aiming? Response: In programming course.
- Chuck Norris's programs can pass the Turing Test by staring at the interrogator.
Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Computer Programming Jokes
What funny jokes about computer programming you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean computer engineering jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make computer programming pranks.
A group of computer science geeks were listening to a lecture about Java programming at a university.
After the lecture, one of the men leaned over and grabbed a woman’s breast.
Woman: Hey! That’s private OK ?
The man hesitated for a second looking confused.
Man: But I thought we were in the same class.
Chuck Norris can make a Java Program in visual studio 2010.
Jesus vs Satan
Jesus and Satan have a discussion as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest, with God as the judge.
They sit themselves at their computers and begin. They type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen, for several hours straight. Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over.
He asks Satan to show what he has come up with. Satan is visibly upset, and cries, "I have nothing. I lost it all when the power went out."
"Very well, then," says God, "let us see if Jesus fared any better."
Jesus enters a command, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers. Satan is astonished.
He stutters, "B-b-but how? I lost everything, yet Jesus' program is intact. How did he do it?"
God smiled all-knowingly, "Jesus saves."
Artificial Intelligence
An Annapolis computer science major was given an artificial intelligence assignment for one of his classes. He ended up creating a program where you could have a conversation with your computer based on your IQ level.
To test his program he entered 80 and had a conversation with his Soap Operas. He entered 100 and talked about politics. He entered 150 and talked about nuclear physics.
Just to see what would happen he entered a -50 and the computer bumped and belched and sparked and smoked for a good 10 minutes. When it finally settled down it displayed "On Brave Old Army Team....."
Life Before The Computer
Memory was something you lost with age
An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity
A keyboard was a piano
A web was a spider's home
A virus was the flu
A CD was a bank account
A hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And if you had a 3 inch floppy ..
... you just hoped nobody ever found out!!
What do you call a computer program developed by Algol (from Soul Calibur)?
An algolithm.
What did the feminist say in her intro to computer programming course?
I hate this class, it keeps objectifying me!
Einstein famously said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
But doing the same thing over and over again and actually getting a different result - that's called Computer Programming.
Why are voodoos so good at teaching computer programming?
Because they hex everyone they meet.
A computer programming spider walks into a psychiatrist's.
"Please help me, I have WebSphere!"
Mario comes up to his father and asks, where did-a I come from?
He replies, the computer, I programmed you into existence, Mario-kun.
You might be a r**... if you know computer science.
My car engine light needs advanced programming to overcome.
Did you hear the invented a computer program that finds n**... on YouTube?
It's called the Aldo Rainethm.
What's the difference between a s**... Worker and Computer Programer?
One controls the use of V and C. The other uses ctrl V and ctrl C.
My New OS
So I programmed an new Operating System.
I named it as a "Tetra-Hedral Artificial Neural Operating System."
Unfortunately, ThanOS took over my computer and wiped out half my files.