Computer Programming Jokes
55 computer programming jokes and hilarious computer programming puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about computer programming that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Computer Programming Short Jokes
Short computer programming jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The computer programming humour may include short computer programmer jokes also.
- I'm surprised more people didn't know about the NSA spying programs I mean most of our computers are labelled "Intel"
- I used to date computer programs but that's over now My girlfriend still worries that I may go back but I reply to her "they're just exes "
- A programming genius named Sewter Built a limerick-writing computer
The metre was fine
And the rhymes quite divine
But for some reason it always got the last line wrong - I almost bought a huge library out of old computer programming books... ...but the ascii price was way too high.
- A programming joke There are three hard problems in computer concurrency. science. Cache invalidation, naming things, off-by-one errors, and
- Why did the computer split up with the programming language. Because 1 or more arguments were invalid!
- If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.
The rest of them will write Perl programs. - My university just announced a Computer Science exchange program with an Indonesian university I'm really excited for the courses in Java
- If the universe really is a computer program. .. I guess Jesus really does save us.
Probably in a file somewhere. - Mario comes up to his father and asks, where did-a I come from? He replies, the computer, I programmed you into existence, Mario-kun.
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Computer Programming One Liners
Which computer programming one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with computer programming? I can suggest the ones about computer science and computer scientist.
- What do Hutts use to program computers? JabbaScript
- Got a B in my computer programming class Call that a C++
- How did my computer eat the programming assignment? It took a couple bytes.
- How do you program a computer to make beef stew? You use bullion logic.
- My teacher was impressed with my mediocre computer programming project He gave me a C++!
- There are only two certain things in computer programming life... death and syntax (end).
- What is a furries favorite computer program? Winrawr
- Im thinking about studying computer programming next year... So i can C# in 2020
- How does a Jedi exit a computer program? He Force quits.
- What did Adele's first computer program do? It printed "hello world, it's me"
- How did AL Gore program his computer? With the proper al-gor-ithms
- [Computer Games] Enemy: Where have you learned aiming? Response: In programming course.
- Chuck Norris's programs can pass the Turing Test by staring at the interrogator.
- Chuck Norris can make a Java Program in visual studio 2010.
- What do you call a computer program developed by Algol (from Soul Calibur)? An algolithm.
Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Computer Programming Jokes
What funny jokes about computer programming you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean computer tech jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make computer programming pranks.
Murphy's Laws of Computing
1. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen.
2. When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it's probably obsolete.
3. The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you least expect to find it.
4. When the going gets tough, upgrade.
5. For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction.
6. To err is human.. to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human, it is downright natural.
7. He who laughs last probably made a back-up.
8. If at first you do not succeed, blame your computer.
9. A complex system that does not work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine.
10. The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions.
11. A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want to do.
Jesus and the devil were arguing over which one of them was the better computer programmer.
"I am!" Jesus shouted.
"No, I am!" the devil countered.
"I am!"
"I am!"
"Me!"
"No, me!"
"EEEEEEENOUGH!" God bellowed, and the whole universe disappeared into darkness.
When the lights came back on, two computers were sitting in front of them.
God said "Now, whoever makes the best computer program in twenty minutes wins."
Jesus and the devil both sat down, typing and clicking furiously.
This went on for about 15 minutes, but then there was a power failure, and everything went dark.
When everything came back up again, the computer screens were both blank.
The devil tried in vain to get back everything he had lost.
He came up empty-handed.
Jesus pressed one key and it all came back.
The devil looked at him in astonishment. "No way! How did you do that?!"
Jesus turned to him and smiled, and said "Everybody knows Jesus saves."
Jesus vs Satan
Jesus and Satan have a discussion as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest, with God as the judge.
They sit themselves at their computers and begin. They type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen, for several hours straight. Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over.
He asks Satan to show what he has come up with. Satan is visibly upset, and cries, "I have nothing. I lost it all when the power went out."
"Very well, then," says God, "let us see if Jesus fared any better."
Jesus enters a command, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers. Satan is astonished.
He stutters, "B-b-but how? I lost everything, yet Jesus' program is intact. How did he do it?"
God smiled all-knowingly, "Jesus saves."
Jesus VS Satan
Jesus and Satan have an argument as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest, with God as the judge.
They set themselves before their computers and begin. They type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen, for several hours straight.
Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over. He asks Satan to show what he has come up with.
Satan is visibly upset, and cries, "I have nothing. I lost it all when the power went out."
"Very well, then," says God, "let us see if Jesus fared any better."
Jesus enters a command, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers.
Satan is astonished.
He stutters, "B-b-but how?! I lost everything, yet Jesus' program is intact! How did he do it?"
God chuckles, "Everybody knows... Jesus saves"
Artificial Intelligence
An Annapolis computer science major was given an artificial intelligence assignment for one of his classes. He ended up creating a program where you could have a conversation with your computer based on your IQ level.
To test his program he entered 80 and had a conversation with his Soap Operas. He entered 100 and talked about politics. He entered 150 and talked about nuclear physics.
Just to see what would happen he entered a -50 and the computer bumped and belched and sparked and smoked for a good 10 minutes. When it finally settled down it displayed "On Brave Old Army Team....."
Life Before The Computer
Memory was something you lost with age
An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity
A keyboard was a piano
A web was a spider's home
A virus was the flu
A CD was a bank account
A hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And if you had a 3 inch floppy ..
... you just hoped nobody ever found out!!
What did the feminist say in her intro to computer programming course?
I hate this class, it keeps objectifying me!
A recent survey revealed that computer science majors prefer the metric system.
They're pro-grams.
Einstein famously said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
But doing the same thing over and over again and actually getting a different result - that's called Computer Programming.
Why are voodoos so good at teaching computer programming?
Because they hex everyone they meet.
A computer programming spider walks into a psychiatrist's.
"Please help me, I have WebSphere!"
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You might be a r**... if you know computer science.
My car engine light needs advanced programming to overcome.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear the invented a computer program that finds n**... on YouTube?
It's called the Aldo Rainethm.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between a s**... Worker and Computer Programer?
One controls the use of V and C. The other uses ctrl V and ctrl C.
My New OS
So I programmed an new Operating System.
I named it as a "Tetra-Hedral Artificial Neural Operating System."
Unfortunately, ThanOS took over my computer and wiped out half my files.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the computer nerd who was eaten alive by a giant snake?
Now he's programming in python.
