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Computer Problem Jokes

47 computer problem jokes and hilarious computer problem puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about computer problem that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Computer Problem Short Jokes

Short computer problem jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The computer problem humour may include short computer error jokes also.

  1. There are 2 truly difficult problems in Computer science 0: Naming things
    1: Cache invalidation
    2: Off by one errors
  2. How many computer programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None, it's a hardware problem.
  3. What is similar to windows but can instantly detect the cause of most common computer-problems? A mirror
  4. A programming joke There are three hard problems in computer concurrency. science. Cache invalidation, naming things, off-by-one errors, and
  5. My girlfriend just emailed me a photo of us on our first date together. It's a very treasured memory for me. Problem is, the file wont open on my computer. I guess I have emotional attachment issues.
  6. What do you call a tall, obese computer nerd with a bladder control problem. A Big Fat Geek Wetting.
  7. I'm not happy with my new Quantum Computer Every time I try to solve a problem it collapses
  8. how many computer programmers does it take to change a light bulb? Are you kidding? That's a hardware problem!
  9. What's the difference between target practice and having cow computer problems? You shoot with a bullet and troubleshoot with Bull IT
  10. My older brother once told me you could use Final Fantasy VII to solve your math problems... Turns out it *was* pretty great at Cloud Computing.

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Computer Problem One Liners

Which computer problem one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with computer problem? I can suggest the ones about computer crashing and computer password.

  1. How do you annoy a computer person with a problem? Never mind, I figured it out.
  2. The biggest SEO problem with trampoline websites is the high user bounce rate!
  3. A system administrator has 2 problems:
    - dumb users
    - smart users

Computer Problem Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about computer problem you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean computer server jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make computer problem pranks.

Murphy's Laws of Computing
1. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen.
2. When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it's probably obsolete.
3. The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you least expect to find it.
4. When the going gets tough, upgrade.
5. For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction.
6. To err is human.. to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human, it is downright natural.
7. He who laughs last probably made a back-up.
8. If at first you do not succeed, blame your computer.
9. A complex system that does not work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine.
10. The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions.
11. A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want to do.

A man works in the operations department of a large bank.
Employees call him from the field when they have problems with their computers.
One night a blonde woman from a branch bank called him and said, "I've got smoke coming from the back of my computer terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"

What's the difference between a computer and a European?

A computer doesn't have a problem exiting.

Computer gender joke

A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.
"House" for instance, is feminine: "la casa."
"Pencil," however, is masculine: "el lapiz."
A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?"


Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether "computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun.
The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computadora"), because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is impossible to understand for everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval;
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
The women's group concluded that computers should be masculine ("el computador"), because:
1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem;
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer you could have gotten a better model.

a clean and timeless blonde joke for the whole family

A man was trimming his bushes. His neighbor (the blonde) walks out, checks her mail only to see that it's empty, and goes back inside.
Five minutes later, she comes back out, checks her mail again only to see that it's still empty, and goes back in.
The third time she comes out, the man asks her, "Excuse me, is there a problem?"
The blonde replies, "Darn right there's a problem! My computer keeps on telling me 'I've got mail'!"

A employee didn't show up for work

A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick one day.
Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers,he dialled the employee's cell phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper.
"Hello."
"Is your daddy home?" he asked.
"Yes," whispered the small voice.
"May I talk with him?"
The child whispered, "No."
Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?"
"Yes," whispered the small voice.
"May I talk with her?"
Again the small voice whispered, "No."
Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anybody else there?"
"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman"
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"
"No, he's busy", whispered the child.
"Busy doing what?"
"Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman," the whisper answered.
Growing more worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"
"A helicopter." answered the whispering voice.
"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.
Again, whispering, the child answered, "The search team just landed the helicopter."
Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are they searching for?"
Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle. "ME.!!:)

she can't open windows.

On a cold winter morning, while her husband is away on business, a wife has a problem at home and sends a text message to her husband:
Windows frozen, it won't open
Husband texts back:
Pour boiling water over it inside and outside
Five minutes later, wife texts back.
Computer's really s**... up now...

Missing

The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees was absent but had not phoned in sick one day. Needing to have an urgent problem with one of the main computers resolved, he dialled the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper. 'Hello?'
'Is your daddy home?' He asked.
'Yes,' whispered the small voice.
May I talk with him?'
The child whispered, 'No.'
Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, 'Is your Mummy there?' 'Yes'
'May I talk with her?' Again the small voice whispered, 'No'
Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, 'Is anybody else there?'
'Yes,' whispered the child, 'a policeman.'
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, 'May I speak with the policeman?'
'No, he's busy,' whispered the child.
'Busy doing what?'
'Talking to Daddy and Mummy and the Fireman,' came the whispered answer.
Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, 'What is that noise?'
'A helicopter' answered the whispering voice.
'What is going on there?' demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive. Again, whispering, the child answered,
'The search team just landed a helicopter'
Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, 'What are they searching for?'
Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle...
'ME.'

Computer diagnosis

One day, Pete complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor."
His friend said, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.
Simply put in a sample of your u**..., and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about and it will only cost you $10.00."
Pete figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a u**... sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00.
The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper which read:
1. You have tennis elbow.
2. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labor.
3. It will be better in two weeks.......
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this computer could be fooled.
He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and u**... samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he m**... into the concoction.
He went back to the drug store, located the computer, poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00. The machine again made the usual noises, flashed its alights, and printed out the following analysis:
1. Your tap water is too hard.
2. Get a water softener.
3. Your dog has ringworm.
4. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
5. Your daughter is using c**....
6. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic.
7. Your wife is pregnant ....... twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
8. And if you don't stop m**..., your elbow will never get better.

Three engineers are riding in a car.

One is a mechanical engineer, one is an electrical engineer, and one is a computer engineer.
The car breaks down and coasts to the side of the road.
"Hang on," says the mechanical engineer. "The problem is probably the engine, let me have a look at it and I'll have us on the road again in no time."
"Wait," says the electrical engineer. "The way it just stopped like that, I think it's the electrical system. Let me have a look and I'll get us going again in a minute or two."
"Hold on," says the computer engineer. "Why don't we all just get out of the car and get in again, and then see if it starts?"

COMPUTERS: SHE OR HE?

COMPUTERS: SHE OR HE?
Why computers seem female:
-- No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.
-- The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
-- The message "Bad command or file name" is about as informative as, "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you."
-- Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
-- As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories.
Why computers seem male:
-- They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
-- They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time, they are the problem.
-- As soon as you commit to one you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have obtained a better model.
-- In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
-- Big power surges knock them out for the rest of the night.

Smarter Generation

"The computer in my high school classroom recently started acting up. After watching me struggle with it, one of my students took over. ""Your hard drive crashed,"" he said.
I called the computer services office and explained, ""My computer is down. The hard drive crashed.""
""We can't just send people down on your say-so. How do you know that's the problem?""
""A student told me,"" I answered.
""We'll send someone over right away."""

Computer Error

I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Rick the computer guy, to come over. Rick clicked a couple of b**... and solved the problem. He gave me a bill for a minimum service call. As he was walking away, I called after him, "So, what was wrong?"
He replied, "It was an ID ten T error."
I didn't want to appear s**..., but nonetheless inquired: "An ID ten T error? What's that ... in case I need to fix it again?"
The computer guy grinned.... "Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?"
"No," I replied.
"Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out."
So I wrote out ......
I D 1 0 T

A blonde woman's first day at live software support..

She was giving help to customers through live chats.
She eventually got sick and busted right into the boss's office.
Woman: This is infuriating! Every time I try to help someone resolve their problems, they just hang up on me!
Boss: Whoa, whoa.... Relax. Okay, tell me what exactly happened? Did you say something to them?
Woman: Well, all I did was ask them to try restarting their computer!

Light bulb classics. Light 'em up

1) How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
Does not compute. It's a hardware problem.

I was having trouble with my computer...

(I honestly don't know if this is a repeat or not. Don't judge.)
...so I called a neighbor, Joseph, to help.
Joseph clicked a couple of b**... and solved the problem.
As he was walking away, I called after him, "So, what was wrong?"
He replied, "It was an ID ten T error."
I didn't want to appear s**..., but nonetheless inquired, "An ID Ten T error?
What's that? In case I need to fix it again."
Joseph grinned, "Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?"
"No", I replied.
"Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out."
So I wrote down: I D 1 0 T
Joseph and I are no longer friends.

Computer trouble

I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Joseph, the 14 year old next door whose bedroom looks like Mission Control, and asked him to come over.
Joseph clicked a couple of b**... and solved the problem.
As he was walking away, I called after him, "So, what was wrong?"
He replied, "It was an ID ten T error."
I didn't want to appear s**..., but nonetheless inquired, "An ID Ten T error?
What's that? In case I need to fix it again."
Joseph grinned, "Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?"
"No", I replied.
"Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out."
So I wrote down: I D 1 0 T
I used to like that little boy.

Yesterday, I had a problem with my computer so I called Eric...

Yesterday, I had a problem with my computer so I called Eric, a friend of mine who is very skilled with technology.
He solved the problem quickly and easily. As he was leaving, I asked him what the problem was. He replied that the issue was an "ID ten T" error.
I didn't want to appear s**..., but I enquired "What is an 'ID ten T' error?"
He replied "Write it down, I think you'll figure it out."
I wrote it down: ID10T
I used to like Eric.

Defense supercomputer

A large defense contractor finally succeeded in building a supercomputer able to solve any strategic or tactical problem. Military leaders assembled in front of the new machine and were instructed to feed a difficult tactical problem into it. They described a hypothetical situation to the computer and then asked the pivotal question, "Attack or retreat?"
The computer hummed away for a minute and then came up with the answer, "Yes."
The generals looked at each other, stupefied.
Finally one of them submitted a second request to the computer, "Yes what?"
Instantly the computer responded, "Yes, Sir!."

Four engineers riding in a car -

it stalls. Mechanical engineer suggests a timing problem. Electrical engineer says bad spark. Chemical engineer offers poor fuel mixture. The computer engineer has no idea but "If we get out the car and get back in it may start

Why are ugly guys better with computers then women?

Turning off a computer often fixes the problem.

A chemistry teacher is having problems with her desktop...

So she asks the class:
"How do I unfreeze my computer?"
After a few seconds, one student raises their hand and responds:
"What's the melting point?"

Four students are having a problem with their car...

Four students are having a problem with their car and are forced to stop on the side of the road.
"The ignition is damaged" says the electrical engineer.
"The fuel pipe is clogged" says the chemist.
"Engines is damaged" says the engineer.
"Lets just get out of the car and get in again" says the computer scientist.

What is one store that always has a mouse problem that is not a pet shop?

A computer store

What kind of computer problems do octopuses(octopi) have?

Tentacle difficulties.
7 Y.O. Daughter and I just made this up together. I realize it might already exist out there in this big world, but we just had to share.

A young man helps his grandfather with his computer issues

His grandfather seems to be unable to set a password.
Trying to figure out the problem the young man looks at the password the old man is trying to set
His password is ParisLondonMickeyMouse
Puzzled by this, the man asks his grandfather why he wants to set this password anyways.
The grandfather simply replies: It wanted two capitals and a character .

Why did the young man call a pest exterminator when he had a computer problem?

Because he thought the pest exterminator would be good at debugging his computer problems.

Italian Computer repair store

Everytime I try to use Microsoft's search engine on my Italian laptop it explodes. I took it to my Italian Computer repair store. The Italian repairman said "What seems to be the problem? Please keep it short" so I said "Bad-a-Bing Bad-a-boom!"

Italian Computer Repair shop

Everytime I try to use Microsoft's search engine on my Italian laptop, the computer explodes. I took it to my Italian Computer repair store. The Italian repairman said "What seems to be the problem? Please keep it brief" so I said "Bad-a-Bing, Bad-a-boom!"

An American is typing on a computer when he flies into a rage, shouting "How the h**... am I misspelling color"?

A Canadian takes a quick look at the screen before rolling his eyes and walking away, saying "that sounds like a you problem".

Three engineers

Three engineers are riding in a car. A Mechanical Engineer, an Electrical Engineer and a Computer Engineer.
The car suddenly stops running in the middle of the street. The Mechanical Engineer says, "I know what's wrong. It is a mechanical problem and I can fix it."
The Electrical Engineer say, "No! It is an electrical problem and I can fix it."
The Computer Engineer says, "I don't know what is wrong, but if we all get out of the car and then get back in, maybe it will start."