Computer Engineer Jokes
29 computer engineer jokes and hilarious computer engineer puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about computer engineer that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Computer Engineer Short Jokes
Short computer engineer jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The computer engineer humour may include short computer scientist jokes also.
- What happens when a computer engineer fails flirting with a waitress? Error in connecting to the server
- How do you tell the difference between a Computer Scientist, a Computer Engineer, and a Chemical Engineer? Ask them what PCB means.
- What did the Computer Engineer say? What did the computer Engineer say when he saw his favorite drink?
ICT - Funny facts about Google users:
50% of people use Google well as a search engine.
The rest 50% of them use it to check if their internet is connected - Light bulb classics. Light 'em up 1) How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
Does not compute. It's a hardware problem.
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Computer Engineer One Liners
Which computer engineer one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with computer engineer? I can suggest the ones about software engineer and computer programmer.
- Why did the Computer Engineer retire young? He had a lot of cache.
- Where do computer engineers like to go for entertainment? The circuits!
Rib-Tickling Computer Engineer Jokes that Bring Friends Together
What funny jokes about computer engineer you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean it engineer jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make computer engineer pranks.
Three Engineers
A mechanical engineer, an electrical engineer and a civil engineer are sitting around and talking about God.
The mechanical engineer says, "God is a mechanical engineer. Just look at the human body - a light-weight skeleton with moving parts holding up a massive frame of muscle and fat. God must be a mechanical engineer!"
The electrical engineer disagrees. "No, no. God is an electrical engineer. Just look at the human body - the nerve system routes electrical signals to the brain which is essentially a computer. God must be an electrical engineer!"
The civil engineer disagrees. "No, no. God is a civil engineer. Just look at the human body - only a civil engineer would run a toxic waste pipe through a playground."
Four engineers in a car...
Four engineers are driving to a conference when the car sputters and dies as they pull off to the shoulder. After a moment of silent contemplation, the electrical engineer says; "you know, I bet the coil's bad. We need to replace the core." The chemical engineer says; "you're nuts, it's obviously the fuel's gone bad. We need to drain the tank and refill." The mechanical engineer scoffs; "you're both wrong. Sounds to me like a valve lifter is froze. We're gonna need to rip the block apart."
After another moment of silence the three look back at the computer engineer who says; "maybe if we get out of the car and get back in?"
Engineers
One day, a mechanical engineer, electrical engineer, chemical engineer, and computer engineer were driving down the street in the same car when it broke down. The mechanical engineer said, "I think a rod broke." The chemical engineer said, "The way it sputtered at the end, I think it's not getting enough gas." The electrical engineer said, "I think there was a spark and something's wrong with the electrical system." All three turned to the computer engineer and said, "What do you think?" The computer engineer said, "I think we should all get out and then get back in."
Italian Computer Repair shop
Everytime I try to use Microsoft's search engine on my Italian laptop, the computer explodes. I took it to my Italian Computer repair store. The Italian repairman said "What seems to be the problem? Please keep it brief" so I said "Bad-a-Bing, Bad-a-boom!"
Four students are having a problem with their car...
Four students are having a problem with their car and are forced to stop on the side of the road.
"The ignition is damaged" says the electrical engineer.
"The fuel pipe is clogged" says the chemist.
"Engines is damaged" says the engineer.
"Lets just get out of the car and get in again" says the computer scientist.
Imagine getting jumped by a bunch of computer engineers and you hear them say
Imagine getting jumped by a bunch of computer engineers and you hear them say : "
01010011 01110100 01101001 01100011 01101011 00100000 01100001 00100000 01010101 01010011 01000010 00100000 01110101 01110000 00100000 01101000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01100001 01110011 01110011 "
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You might be a r**... if you know computer science.
My car engine light needs advanced programming to overcome.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Q: How many Microsoft engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, they just declare darkness the standard!
A Computer Engineer was asked by his five-year-old son:
"Dad, what is Windows 95?"
"Well, it’s 32-bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16-bit patch to an 8-bit operating system originally coded for a 4-bit microprocessor, written by a 2-bit company that can't stand 1 bit of competition."
A group of engineering students were discussing the nature of God.
The first student asserts that God is an electrical engineer, because of all the complex information and control signals running around in our nervous system.
The second student explains that God is a mechanical engineer, because of all the different kinds of activities that the human body can be trained to perform.
The third student says that God is a Systems Engineer, because the human brain is essentially a self-programming neural net computer.
The fourth student then quietly states that God is really a civil engineer, because nobody else would run a septic system through a recreational area.
A software engineer walks into a bar.
He sits down and sees the bartender yelling at the computer when trying to process a customer's order.
"Why are you yelling at the computer?" the engineer asks.
"Nothing is working! The software on the computer is riddled with bugs!" responds the bartender.
The engineer takes a look at the computer and notices the software it is running was actually written by himself a few years earlier. Immediately, he gets offended.
"Those aren't bugs!" the engineer yelled. "Those are alternative features!"
The Story of Jed
There was once a man named Jed, who had grown tired of the may-may culture. But he was at work in the engineering yard, and couldn't just turn off his computer or hide it. This was not the first time he had grown angry with it, and the last time he had destroyed his computer in a rage, so it was now replaced with a reinforced chassis for when he got angry. So he just drank a Mountain Dew for energy, took off his belt and began whipping his reinforced computer. His boss heard the noise and came to stop him. His boss told him "Even Jed fueled can't belt steel memes."
A mechanical engineer, electrical engineer, chemical engineer, and computer engineer
One day, a mechanical engineer, electrical engineer, chemical engineer, and computer engineer were driving down the street in the same car when it broke down.
The mechanical engineer said, I think a rod broke.
The chemical engineer said, The way it sputtered at the end, I think it's not getting enough gas.
The electrical engineer said, I think there was a spark and something's wrong with the electrical system.
All three turned to the computer engineer and said, What do you think?
The computer engineer said, I think we should all get out and then get back in.
Job Test Cheater
Two young engineers applied for a single position at a computer company.
They both had the same qualifications. In order to determine which individual to hire, the applicants were asked to take a test by the Department manager.
Upon completion of the test, both men missed only one of the questions.
The manager went to the first applicant and said, "Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the job to the other applicant."
"And why would you be doing that? We both got 9 questions correct," asked the rejected applicant.
"We have based our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed," said the Department manager.
"And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?" the rejected applicant inquired.
"Simple," said the Department manager, "Your fellow applicant put down on question #5, 'I don't know.' You put down, 'Neither do I.'"
Exam results
Two young engineers applied for a single position at a computer company. They both had the same qualifications. In order to determine which individual to hire, the applicants were asked to take a test by the department manager.
Upon completion of the test, both men had each missed only one of the questions. The manager went to the first applicant and said, ''thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the job to the other applicant.''
"And why would you be doing that? We both got nine questions correct," asked the rejected applicant.
"We have based our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed," said the department manager.
"And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?" the rejected applicants inquired.
''Simple,'' said the department manager, ''Your fellow applicant put down on question..5, 'I don't know.' You put down, 'Neither do I.'
Three engineers are riding in a car.
One is a mechanical engineer, one is an electrical engineer, and one is a computer engineer.
The car breaks down and coasts to the side of the road.
"Hang on," says the mechanical engineer. "The problem is probably the engine, let me have a look at it and I'll have us on the road again in no time."
"Wait," says the electrical engineer. "The way it just stopped like that, I think it's the electrical system. Let me have a look and I'll get us going again in a minute or two."
"Hold on," says the computer engineer. "Why don't we all just get out of the car and get in again, and then see if it starts?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A physicist, an engineer and a statistician are on a hunting trip...
... they are walking through the woods when they spot a deer in a clearing. The physicist calculates the distance of the target, the velocity and drop of the bullet, adjusts his rifle and fires, missing the deer 5 feet to the left.
The engineer rolls his eyes. 'You forgot to account for wind. Give it here', he snatches the rifle, licks his finger and estimates the speed and direction of the wind and fires, missing the deer 5 feet to the right.
Suddenly, the statistician claps his hands and yells "We got him!"
SOURCE: One of about three jokes the PhD students from the computational mathematics and statistics know.
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Bonus: i**... is a family-wise error.
A chemical engineer, a mechanical engineer, and a computer scientist are on a road trip...
A chemical engineer, a mechanical engineer, and a computer scientist are on a road trip when all of a sudden their car breaks down. They pull over to the side of the road and start hypothesizing what is wrong. The chemical engineer says "It's probably something wrong with the catalytic converter." The mechanical engineer says "It's probably something wrong with the engine." The computer scientist says "Let's get out, get back in, and see if it starts!"
Three women were in a bar talking about their husbands and how they made love.
The first woman said, “My husband is a psychologist, and before we make love, he brings me flowers and candy. I like that.”
The second woman proclaimed, “My husband is a mechanic, he makes love a little rough, but really tunes my engine; I like that!”
The third woman replied, “Well my husband works for Microsoft and all he does is sit on the edge of the bed and tell me how good it’s going to be, when I finally get it…”
One day, a Mechanical Engineer, Electrical Engineer, Chemical Engineer and Computer Engineer were driving down the street in the same car. All of a sudden, the car broke down.
The Mechanical Engineer said, "I think a rod broke."
The Chemical Engineer said, "The way it sputtered at the end, I don't think it's getting gas."
The Electrical Engineer said, "I think there was a spark and something is wrong with the electrical system."
All three turned to the computer engineer and said, "What do you think?"
The Computer Engineer said, "I think we should all get out and get back in."