The Best 35 Compulsive Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Compulsive jokes. There are some compulsive anon jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these compulsive narcissist puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Compulsive Jokes and Puns
I asked my doctor if I have OCD because of my compulsive cleaning.
Apparently cleaning your browser history does not count.
Tom had been a compulsive worrier for years...
...until he found a way to overcome this problem.
His friends noticed the dramatic change.
"You don't seem to be worried about anything anymore."
"I hired a professional worrier for $1000.00 a week, Tom replied.
'I haven't had a single problem since."
"A thousand a week," said Doug. "You can't afford that, how are you going to pay him?"
"Tom replied, "That's his problem."
What did the kleptomaniacal compulsive liar say when his beekeeper friend asked him what he was running away with?
"None of your beeswax!"
My girlfriend says I have compulsive lying disorder...
...she's right; I don't have a girlfriend.
(Another screenwriting joke) Did you hear the one about the bulemic girl?
She overcame her disorder, but then lapsed into compulsive overeating. She gained 300 pounds and died of a heart attack. In the end, she was a round character.
Hello, welcome to the mental health hotline.
If you are Obsessive Compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are codependant, have someone press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5,6. If you are paranoid, we know which one you want.
I've been diagnosed as a compulsive liar and hypochondriac.
And it's making me sick.
Did you hear about the insomniac, dyslexic, obsessive compulsive butcher?
He used to lay in bed at night worrying about why he constantly weighed a steak.
Recently I bought a really good book about curing my obsessive compulsive disorder. It's helped me so much.
I can't stop reading it.
I've been told I'm a compulsive liar and a hypochondriac
but I don't worry about it.
I suffer from an unusual obsessive compulsive disorder, CDO
I have to write acronyms in alphabetical order
You can explore compulsive addictive reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean compulsive pathological dad jokes. There are also compulsive puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Dad is obsessive compulsive about his vinyl and owns every single Beatles record except for one..
I think he needs Help.
Did you hear about the compulsive gambler with diarrhea?
Well, he lost.
I was born handsome, charming witty and wise
I'm also a compulsive liar, but I think it evens out.
The Perfect Man
So one day, a man is sitting at work with his co-worker:
Man: I'm really happy with life right now. Kids are doing great in school, wife loves me and puts out every night, and my doctor says I'm the picture of perfect health.
Co-worker: Wow! That sounds so great! Is there anything wrong with you?
Man: Well my therapist says I'm a compulsive liar, but what does she know?
We need a 12-step group for compulsive talkers.
It would be called On Anon Anon.
My wife left me, saying I was a compulsive liar
Atleast I think that's what she said... I was busy wrestling a tiger at the time.
I have decided to take up compulsive lying
Nah not really.
What do you call a support group for compulsive talkers?
On and on anon.
I got a handjob from a girl with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. It was the best minute of my life...
Then the worst eleven minutes of my life.
I'm starting a weekly meeting at my house for people with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
My wife broke up with me yesterday because I'm a compulsive gambler and ever since, all I can think about is...
...how to win her back.
For 2016 I gave up smoking, for 2017 I gave up drinking.
For 2018 I gave up compulsive lying.
I was once friends with a compulsive liar that "ate tiny insects"...
Everything that came out of his mouth was lice.
My doctor told me I'm a hypochondriac and a compulsive liar.
I'm not too worried about it.
I've started a group for compulsive talkers
It's call On and On Anon.
What do you call a compulsive liar who's also an astronaut, a billionaire, and a nascar driver?
Me.
My girlfriend says I'm a fantasist and a compulsive liar.
That's a bit rich coming from someone who doesn't exist.
A patient walks into a therapist's office.
The patient says "You would not believe the week I've had".
The doctor says "No. You're a compulsive liar, that's why you're here."
What are the symptoms of a compulsive lisr?
I would check but I don't have internet connection...
Hi I'm Greg, and I'm a compulsive liar...
"We don't believe you"
Whattaya call someone who seems to have an almost fetishistic obsession with stomping into a comments section, saying something absolutely horrible, and spending the rest of the day slapfighting with whole threads of people calling them an idiot?
A compulsive mass debater.
Are you a compulsive spender?
Buy this $1 Quiz today to find out!
Quiz results: 100% of people who bought this quiz were identified as compulsive spenders.
What do a cattle farmer and a compulsive gambler have in common?
They're both interested in raising the stakes/steaks.
My wife is a compulsive plant freak. She's filled our house with all manner of potted plants that she picks up at yard sales and give aways!
I think she's a hoarder-culturist.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the compulsive psychotic jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working compulsive disorder piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.