Compound Jokes

Following is our collection of fluorine puns and nitrogen one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Compound jokes for adults, dirty phosphorus jokes and clean element dad gags for kids.

The Best Compound Puns

A husband sends a text to his wife.

Honey, I got hit by a car outside of the office. Tina brought me to the hospital. They have been taking tests and doing x-rays. The blow to my head is very strong, may be serious. Also, I have 3 broken ribs, a broken arm, a compound fracture on my left leg and they may have to amputate the right foot.

Wife's Response:
Who is Tina?

Women Think Differently

Husband's Text Message by cell phone:

"Honey, got hit by car when I was out of office. Paula brought me to Hospital. They're doing tests and X-rays now. Blow to my head very strong, fortunately it didn't cause serious injury, but I have three broken ribs, a compound fracture in left leg, and they may have to amputate right foot.

Wife's Text Response by Cell Phone:

"Who's Paula?"

The Way Women Think

Husband's Message (by text):

"Darling, I got hit by a car outside the office. Paula brought me to the hospital. They have been doing tests and taking X-rays. The blow to my head though very strong, should not have any serious or lasting effect but, I have three broken ribs, a broken arm, a compound fracture of the left leg and they may have to amputate my right foot. Fingers crossed!"

Wife's Response:
"Who's Paula?"

Husband says'' Honey, it's me. I don't want to alarm you but

. . . I was hit by a car as I was leaving the office. Paula brought me to the hospital. They've checked me over and dome some tests and x-rays. The blow to my head was severe. Fortunately, it didn't cause any serious internal injury. However, I have three broken ribs, a compound fracture in the left leg, and they think they might have to amputate my right foot.''

Wife : ''Who's Paula?''

Math in the real world

Basic Math is the subject I teach at a small community college in western North Carolina. I call one part of the curriculum Practical Applications for Living in the Real World. The day after I presented a lesson on simple and compound interest, one of my older students approached me in the hallway. "You really taught me a great deal about my life yesterday," he said. "I realized I've been struggling with a lack of interest, compounded daily, for thirty years."


As a reward for winning a race, a young stallion was put in a compound with a beautiful female zebra.

As the next day dawned, the keeper ran to see how the stallion had made out and was chagrined to see him leaning up against a tree. His mane was disheveled, his body covered in welts from angry hooves, and he had two giant black eyes. Astounded, the keeper asked what had happened.


The stallion said, "I spent the whole night trying to take off her pajamas."

As the navy seals burst into osama bin ladens room in his pakistani compound, his last dying words forever wrung in the ears of the seals...

"It was just a prank bro"

What compound is found in a lazy person's brain?

Sodium Procrastinate

Chemistry Lesson

Me: "Hey girl, if you were a compound, you'd be copper telluride. You know why?"

Girl: "Because I'm cute?"

Me: "Nah, you're just really dense."

Girl, you must be a savings account...

Because my interest is to compound you daily.

What do you call an organic compound in which a hydroxyl is bound to a carbon atom of an alkyl??

See? Sometimes alcohol IS the answer!!


A chemist and his friend go to lunch. When asked what they want to drink,the chemist says, "I'll have some H2O." His friend says "I'll have some H2O too"

When they get their drinks, they both are fine because the waiter is a sensible person who is able to distinguish the difference between the chemical compound H2O2, hydrogen peroxide, and asking to have water, like his friend.

Why did the investment bankers start dating?

Compound interest

What's the difference between a terrorist training compound and a kids birthday party?

I don't know man, I'm just the drone pilot.

A chemist walks into a bar...

And sees NaCl being beaten up. He asks, "Is that ionic compound being attacked?" The bartender replies, "No, it's a salt"

Did you hear about the banker who's also learning chemistry?

He's got a lot of compound interest.

What do you call it when a cult is looking to get a loan for property?

Compound interest

Why are compounds so cheap?

Because they are free of charge.


Thought of this one while in chem class

Hey, are you a loan?

'Cause my interest is to compound you.


Did you hear about the organic compound who became a bully?

Mean ether.

Perry was busy building a defensive palisade around the Musketeer compound, but it was leaning over badly.

Suddenly Porthos spots the enemy and yells 'Attack! Perry, REPOST!'

Scientists have uncovered the fact that there is a chemical compound that cures all diseases with a single dose.

It's called Cyanide.

What chemical compound prevails over constant negative press?

Carbon monoxide vanadium di-iron

"Professor, what organic compound do you need for the experiment, Amine or Benzene?"

- Ether is fine

Did you hear about the suicide bomber who destroyed part of his compound?

The dumbass was trying to practice.

From the Hospital...

Husband: Honey, I got hit by a car outside of the office. Tina brought me to the Hospital. They have been conducting examinations and tests and taking X-rays. The blow to my head, though very strong, will not have any serious or lasting injury. But I have three broken ribs, a broken arm, a compound fracture in the left leg, and they may have to amputate my right foot.

Wife: Who is Tina?

Did you hear about the hipster compound?

It's ionic.

What is the best-looking chemical compound?

Copper (II) telluride.

How do track and field athletes stay buff?

Lapping compound

A chemist is trying to remember the name of a compound...

"Methanal", he exclaims suddenly, having remembered the name.
His colleague turns around and says:
"Bless you".

What did the butterfly say when he failed his eye exams?

"COMPOUND IT!"

An organic chemist was banned from using the labs after substituting a nitrogen for an arsenic atom in an aromatic pyrrole compound.

Good riddance. He was a bit of an arsole anyway.

Why is BrO3 the nicest compound?

It calls everyone Bromate.

Chemistry has reached frightening possibilities

What do you get if you multiply a young ester compound by avagadro's constant?
-
-
-
A child mole ester

Punny Chemistry

"What's Jerry Sandusky's favorite compound?"
"What?"
"A mole ester"

Bad Science Joke

A high school science teacher is ordering supplies for his class online, but he can't find one particular compound. So he calls the store. "Excuse me sir," says he, "But do you by chance carry Sodium Bromate?" The store owner replies, "Na-BrO"

There is an abundance of neutrons jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 36 funniest jokes and compound puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any sulfur witze you can hear about compound.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes