Composure Jokes

Following is our collection of silently puns and sanity one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Composure jokes for adults, dirty temper jokes and clean triumphantly dad gags for kids.

The Best Composure Puns

String

A piece of string walks into a bar and takes a seat.

The bartender says to the piece of string "We don't serve your kind around here!" and kicks the string out of the bar.

The string gathers his composure, messes his hair up, and ties himself in a knot. He then resumes his seat at the bar.

The bartender says "Hey, aren't you that piece of string I just kicked out?"

The string replies "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."

A Soviet man is waiting in line to purchase vodka from a liquor store...

...but due to restrictions imposed by Gorbachev, the line is very long. The man loses his composure and screams, "I can't take this waiting in line anymore, I HATE Gorbachev, I am going to the Kremlin right now, and I am going to kill him!"

After 40 minutes the man returns and elbows his way back to his place in line. One man asks him if he has succeeded in killing Gorbachev.

"No, he responds. That line was even longer."

A salesman knocked on a suburban door...

...and was greeted by a nine-year-old boy puffing away on a long black cigar. Stunned for a brief moment, he managed to regain his composure and say "Good afternoon. Would your mother or father be home?" The boy took the cigar out of his mouth, flicked ashes onto the carpet, and replied "What the f*ck do you think?"

Jewish man calls his mom. "Mama, I have good news and bad news..."

Mother, ever the optimist: "Give me the bad news."

Man: "I can't live a lie anymore. I'm gay."

Mother, a traditional conservative woman, after the wailing and the gnashing of teeth that was expected of her by her son, regains her composure and asks: "Well, what's the good news?"

Man: "So I met this nice Jewish doctor..."

Mike Tyson went to the hospital to say goodbye to his now dead friend...

He was distraught but as he regained his composure he noticed a doctor in the room with him.

Mike said, Doctor, please tell me, what was the cause of death?

The puzzled doctor responded, No Sir, this man hasn't lost his hearing. He's dead.


There is an abundance of grin jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 5 funniest jokes and composure puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any intimate witze you can hear about composure.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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