Composer Jokes

92 composer jokes and hilarious composer puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about composer that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

From Chopin to Beethoven, check out this round-up of the funniest composer jokes! Perfect for classical music fans, these jokes are sure to make you laugh out loud and provide hours of entertainment for you and your orchestra.

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Funniest Composer Short Jokes

Short composer jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The composer humour may include short artist jokes also.

  1. Stallone: I'm making a movie about composers. I'm playing Vivaldi. VanDamme: I'll be Mozart.
    Schwarzenegger: Stop it guys I'm not saying it.
  2. Why did Mozart kill all of his chickens? When he asked him who the best composer was, they replied, "Bach Bach Bach"
  3. Why did Mozart kill all of his chickens? When he asked them who was greatest composer, they all said "Bach Bach Bach Bach."
  4. Why did Mozart kill all his chickens?

    Because when he asked them their favorite composer, they said Bach Bach bach
  5. What did arnold schwarzenegger say when Sylvester Stallone wanted to dress up as classical composers for Halloween? "You be Beethoven, I'll be Bach."
  6. Why did Mozart kill his chicken? Because when he asked the chicken "Who's the best composer" the chicken said "Bach, Bach, Bach"
  7. After he became deaf, many people told beethoven that his career as a composer was over. But did he listen?
  8. Since 1782, at the age of 12, Beethoven was composing some of the greatest music ever, of course since 1827 all he has been doing is decomposing.
  9. Why did Mozart hate all of his chickens? Because when he asked them who the best composer was, they all said, *Bach, Bach, Bach. *
  10. Mozart killed all his chickens.. he had asked them who the best composer was, and they kept saying " Bach! Bach! Bach!

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Composer One Liners

Which composer one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with composer? I can suggest the ones about composed and creator.

  1. Everyone told Beethoven he can't compose because he was deaf But he didn't listen
  2. So did you hear about the Angry composer? Apparently, he had a few scores to settle.
  3. Who is a chicken's favorite composer? Bach
  4. I asked my dog which classical composer he liked the best... Bach.
  5. What is Mozart doing right now? De-composing
  6. So I died and was reincarnated as a composer... I'm Bach now.
  7. My friend composes lyrics about sewing machines. She's a Singer songwriter.
  8. Did you hear about the constipated composer? He couldn't finish the last movement.
  9. Why did the composer go to the chiropractor? Because he had Bach problems
  10. If Arnold Schwarzenegger was a composer which would he be? He'd be Bach
  11. What do you call a zombie songwriter? A De-composer
  12. Which composer got the coronavirus? DryCoughsky
  13. Who is a Boston Terrier's favorite classical composer? Bach
  14. What do Beethoven's 9th and a dead baby have in common? They're both D-composed.
  15. Fish composed of 2 sodium atoms? 2Na

Classical Composer Jokes

Here is a list of funny classical composer jokes and even better classical composer puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • In honor of Father's day, a dad joke There is a rumor that a movie about a 17th century classical composers will be made. It will even star Arnold Schwarzenegger among others.
    He'll be Bach
  • What do you get when you cross a Classical German composer with an erupting volcano? Baklava.
    (It came to me in a dream last night. I dunno man..)
  • Who's a lumberjack's favorite classical composer? Chopin.
  • Which classical composer is best at playing hide and seek? Haydn. [OC]
  • Arnold Schwarzenegger is actually a talented composer with a love for classical music! His newest album is titled, "I'll Be Bach."
  • I went to the supermarket dressed as a classical composer... Somebody asked me what I was Chopin for.
  • Why did everyone hate the classical composer's music Everyone thought he had some sheet music
  • What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when his 3rd grade teacher asked him to be a classical composer in the school play ? I'll be Bach
  • Do you know which classical composer was also really into motocross? Braaaaaaahms, Braaaahms, Braaaaaaahms ... Brr Brr, Braaaaaaahms!
  • Did you hear about the guy who tripped over his collection of classical composer statues? They said he Baroque his Bach.

Composer Name Jokes

Here is a list of funny composer name jokes and even better composer name puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Someone asked me to name my favorite composer... It made me Bach. I couldn't get a Handel on it. I had to make a Liszt.
  • So I phoned my friend to ask him why he's been calling me the names of different composers, but he didn't answer... He hasn't called me Bach yet.
  • I just remembered the name of the cellist who composed the song "Carpe Diem" #YOLO Ma
Composer joke, I just remembered the name of the cellist who composed the song "Carpe Diem"

Composer joke, I just remembered the name of the cellist who composed the song "Carpe Diem"

Witty Composer Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends

What funny jokes about composer you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean producer jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make composer pranks.

Strange music

In Vienna, the great composer Mr. Beethoven had recently died and been buried in the city cemetery, with much mourning by the Viennese citizens.
A few nights after the burial, the town drunk is stumbling on his way home through the cemetery. All of a sudden he hears some very strange-sounding music wafting up from Beethoven's fresh burial plot. Terrified, the man runs through the streets, screaming about ghosts in the graveyard.
Pretty soon he's gathered quite a crowd around the grave, all muttering to each other about devils and ghosts. Finally one man makes his way to the front of the crowd, squats down by the grave, and listens.
"Why... that's Beethoven's Ninth Sympony, but... it's playing backwards!" He listens some more. "There's his Eighth Symphony, also backwards! ... And the seventh.... sixth..."
Finally he stands up and addresses the crowd. "My good people, you have nothing to fear. This is simply Mr. Beethoven decomposing."

Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone are planning a costume party

and the theme is composers. Bruce tells the other stars, "I'll dress up as Mozart". Sylvester responds, "I'd be a great Beethoven". As the two are planning their costumes, Arnold checks the time and notices he's late for an appointment. As he hurries out the door, Bruce and Stallone ask "Hey, Arnold, who'll you dress up as? Arnold responds, as he walks out of the room, "I'll be Bach".

Be verbs.

The teacher asked the class to stand one by one and compose a simple sentence using appropriate be verbs.
"She is beautiful", said Kate.
"My dogs are fat", shouted Mark.
"I is...", stuttered Joe when the teacher interrupted.
"You always say 'I am'. Never say 'I is'", said she.
As fast as he could, Joe uttered,
"I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

They're making a movie about classical music composers...

They're making a movie about classical music composers. In the middle of the auditions, Arnold Schwarzenegger walked in and simply declared, "I'll be Bach."


Jean Claude Van Dam, Steven Segal, and Arnold Schwarzenagger all decide to go out trick-or-treating as musical composers for Halloween. They go into a costume store and look for masks. Jean Claude sees a costume that he likes and says, "I think I'll go as Beethoven." Steven Segal sees a costume that grabs his attention and says, "I'll be Mozart." Arnold had a tough time finding a costume that he liked, but he eventually found one that appeased his interest. He picks up a costume and said, "I'll be Bach."

A New Movie - Stephen Spielberg

Stephen Speilberg has just recently decided to create a new action movie about the greatest composers on Earth. His creates his cast and asks them 'Who do you want to be' ...
Bruce Willis says to him 'I ll play Beethoven, i've always fancied myself as a bit of a genius'
Liam Neeson then pipes up saying 'Im going to be Mozart, i find his music very relaxing and very baroque'
Lastly Arnold Schwarzenegger says 'Ill be Bach'

Sean Connery, Sylvester Stallone, and Arnold Schwarzenegger are going to be in a movie about classical composers...

They are talking to the director about what roles they want to play.
Sean Connery says "I would shertainly like to play Moshart."
Sylvester Stallone says "Uh, well, I guess I wanna play Beethoven."
And so Arnold pauses a moment, and then says "I'll be Bach."

So there's this school play...

Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris, and Arnold Schwarzenegger have to put on a play featuring their favorite musical composers. They each toil over who they will play, until the next day they meet.
Stallone goes first.
"I'll be Mozart"
Next up is Chuck Norris.
"I'll be Beethoven".
Happy that no one picked his composer, Arnold announces "I'll be Bach".

Did you hear that they're producing an action movie about a team of crime-fighting composers?

They already approached Arnold Schwarzenegger about playing fellow Austrian Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, but he said "no, I'll be Bach!"

Terminator, RoboCop, & Optimus Prime are all together thinking of their next costume for Halloween...

when RoboCop says "We should all be classical musical composers; I'll be..Beethoven!".
Optimus Prime agrees and says "alright - I'll be..Mozart!".
Terminator stands up and says "I'll be Bach!".

College Assignment: Short Story

So, the assignment in a college writing class was to compose a short story using as FEW words as possible, but in order to be accepted, the story had to include discussion of three things:
1) Religion
2) Sexuality
3) Mystery
The winning entry:
"God God! I'm pregnant! I wonder who did it."

What's the difference between a musician and a dead body?

One composes, the other decomposes...

A grave digger...

A grave digger hears a story about how Mozart had an unfinished song folded up in his coat pocket when he was buried.
The grave digger goes to the cemetery where Mozart was buried, and starts digging at the composer's grave.
The grave digger hits the coffin.
The grave digger opens the coffin, and sees Mozart holding the unfinished piece, and erasing each note on at a time.
The grave digger yells, "What are you doing?!"
Mozart responds with, "Decomposing."

Did you know they are making an action movie about the great composers?

Arnold Schwarzeneggar says he'll be Bach.

i've got a Liszt of great composer puns that's Haydn in my closet somewhere...

i could look Bach there and read it to you, but i don't think you could Handel it.

A few hundred years ago, Mozart was composing beautiful music

But for a while now, hes only been de-composing.

What do you call a musical equation that a former Vice President composes?

An algorithm
(Credit to my girlfriend)

Steven Spielberg's Next Movie

Steven Spielberg decides that he wants to make a movie about famous composers. He puts out a casting call.
Tom Hulce walks in first and says, "I played Mozart in Amadeus, and would love to play him again."
Next, Gary Oldman calls. "I was Beethoven in Immortal Beloved, so I already have experience playing the part."
Arnold Schwarzenegger meets with him, and states, "I'll be Bach."

Steven Spielberg wants to make a movie about famous composers, so he puts out a casting call.

Gary Oldman walks in first and says, "I played Beethoven in *Immortal Beloved*, so I already have experience playing the part."
Tom Hulce calls in next, "I was Mozart in *Amadeus*, and would love to play him again.
Arnold Schwarzenegger meets with him and says, "I'll be Bach."

Arnold Schwarzenegger gets a call from his agent...

Who tells him that an up-and-coming director is looking for German- and Austrian-born actors for a movie.
"It's a little different than the stuff you're known for," the agent says, "It's a period piece about classical music composers. Should I arrange an audition?"
"There is no need," Arnold says. "I'll be Bach."

The Librarian

What time does the library open? the man on the phone asked.

Annoyed, the librarian composed himself before he answered.
9 am, came the reply. And what's the idea of calling me at home in the middle of the night to ask a question like that?
Not until 9 am? the man asked in a disappointed voice.
The librarian began to get angry.
No, not until 9 am, said the librarian. Why do you want to get in before 9 am?
Who said I wanted to get in? the man sighed sadly. I want to get o

A border patrol official comes into the Oval Office and says to Trump...

"Sir, because of the trauma of being separated from their parents, three Brazilian children fell deeply sick last night." Trump looks absolutely devastated. He sinks back in his chair, murmuring "oh my god" to himself over and over. Then he composes himself and says: "Okay. Just remind me, how many are there in a brazillion?"

That's a lot of zeros

An aide comes into the Oval Office and says to Trump:
"Sir, three Brazilian solders were killed in Afghanistan last night."
Trump looks absolutely devastated, nobody's ever seen him like this.
He sinks back in his chair, saying oh my god over and over.
Then he composes himself and says:
Okay. Just remind me, how many are there in a brazillion?"

Sylvester Stallone, Jean Claude Van Damme, and Arnold Schwarzenegger are all making a movie about classical composers.

Sylvester Stallone said, "I'll be mozart."
Jean Claude Van Damme said, "I'll be Beethoven."
Schwarzenegger said, "I'll be bach."

Arnold Schwarzenegger's girlfriend broke up with him

Arnold Schwarzenegger's girlfriend broke up with him in hopes that it would be enough to stop him from dressing up as classical composers for halloween.
But deep down, she still knew that he'd be bach.

A farmer bragged to his friend about his smart chickens

"How do you know they're smart?"
"They love classical music! That's smarty-pants music right there."
"And how do you know that's what they like?"
"Every morning, I say to the chickens 'What music for today?' and they ask for their favorite composer: 'Bach, Bach, Bach!'"

They dug up Mozart's grave. When they opened the casket he was madly erasing his music...

Of course, he was de-composing.

Co worker told me this one

Sean Connery, Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger are discussing making a movie about great composers.
Sean Connery says Only if I get to be Mozart
Stallone says Then I'll be Beethoven
Arnold says I'll be Bach

My friend composes songs about sewing machines.

He's a Singer songwriter or sew it seams. (Don't hate me.)

Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger were discussing who they were going to play in the new Hollywood Blockbuster:

The Great Composers!
"I wanna be Beethoven," said Stallone.
"I gotta be Mozart," retorted Willis.
"What about you, Arnie?" they asked....

Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris and Arnold Schwarzenegger are sitting in a restaurant, and Sylvester Stallone is like: "Guys, we should make a movie with the three of us, but I'm all out of ideas at the moment, I'm kind of bored with the standard action flicks."

Chuck says: "Don't you have any ideas?"
"Yeah, this may sound silly, but I was actually thinking about doing a movie on great classical composers"
That's when Arnold trows himself in the conversation and says: "That sounds like a great idea! Sylvester, you can be Mozart, and Chuck can be Beethoven!"
"And who will you be, Arnold?"
"I'll be Bach."

Action Composers

All the action heroes are at Stalone's house when their phones all go off. Their agents give them news about a new action movie focused on the great composers. After the call they are all talking about who they would like to play.
Stalone: I'm not going to be in it if I can't be Mozart.
Statham: I'm rather partial to Beethoven myself.
Jet Li: Chopin!
Everyone having had their turn they turn to Schwarzeneggar who is straight up not interested in the project.
Arnold: No! This is a dumb movie.
Everyone: Come on...
Arnold: Fine! I'll be Bach.

8 year old Arnold Schwarzenegger was sitting in music class. The teacher said that each student would play the role of a famous composer.

One student said "I'll be Beethoven".
Another said "I'll be Mozart".
Yet another student said "I'll be Tchaikovsky".
And Arnold said "I'll be Bach".

Why did Mozart kill all of his chickens?

Cause when he asked them who their favorite composer was, they all said "Bach, Bach, Bach"


Stallone: 'I'm making a movie about composers, I'll be Beethoven'
Van Damme: 'I'll be Mozart'
Schwarzenegger: 'Stop it guys, I'm not saying it!'

A director and composer are arguing about the score of a film

Composer: Is it really THAT important that there are no voices in any of the tracks?
Director: It's instrumental

What do you call a hungarian Composer with one leg shorter than the other?


I went to Germany, stood outside a famous baroque composer's house, and pondered the meaning of life.

That's what you call thinking outside the Bach's.

Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger are talking about making a new film together.

Sly: I wanna show the world that we're more than just action movie stars. I wanna make a movie about classical music and classical composers. I know you guys love that stuff too. What do you think? Will you help me make a movie about it and show the world how cultured we are?
Bruce: I could play Beethoven. I've always wanted to play a tortured genius
Sly: You would be great. And I'll be Tchaikovsky. What about you Arnie?
Arnie: I'll be Bach

Stallone thought of creating an action movie about composers.

Stallone: I'll play Beethoven
Van Damme: I'll be Mozart
Schwarzenegger: Shut up! I'll not say it.

Composer joke, Stallone thought of creating an action movie about composers.

jokes about composer