Complimentary Jokes

Following is our collection of complement puns and complementary one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Complimentary jokes for adults, dirty parmesan jokes and clean loafers dad gags for kids.

The Best Complimentary Puns

A man walks into a bar and it's empty – it's just him and the bartender.

He sits down and orders a drink.

After a few seconds, he hears someone whisper, Pssst… I like your tie.

The man looks around but doesn't see anyone.

Pssst… that color looks nice on you.

He asks the bartender, Excuse me, but…are you speaking to me?

The bartender rolls his eyes and says, No, sorry about that. It's the peanuts… they're complimentary.

A man walks into a bar and orders a drink, when suddenly he hears someone say, "Hey, nice tie!"

The man looks up to try to find out who said it, but no one was around.

"Hey! Nice shirt!" The man looks up again, but there's nobody there.

"Hey! Nice suit!" The man then calls the bartender over and asks him if he keeps talking to him.

The bartender replies, "It's not me; it's the complimentary peanuts."

A man walked into a bar and sat down, ordered a beer and drank it

Suddenly he heard a voice...

"Nice tie." *Nobody was there except him and the bartender.*

"Really cool shirt, too." *He thought he must be losing his mind.*

"I like your hair that way."

He said to the bartender, "I keep hearing this voice."

"Those are the peanuts, sir. They're complimentary."

A man walks into a bar

A guy walks into a bar, sits down and hears a small voice say, "You look nice today." A few minutes later he again hears a small voice, "That's a nice shirt." The guy asks the bartender, "Who is that?" The bartender says, "Those are the peanuts. They're complimentary!"

A man walks into a coffee shop

Cashier: congratulations, you are our thousandth customer! Enjoy this complimentary bagel.

Man: hey thanks!

Cashier: of course, and it's only two dollars!

Man: i thought you said it was complimentary?

Cashier: it is

Bagel: you have beautiful eyes


A man walks into a bar...

He sits down and asks the bartender for a drink. As he takes a sip he hears a voice say, "Hey there, you're looking rather handsome today!"

He looks around but can't find the person who made the comment. So he turns to the bartender and asks, "Who said that?"

The bartender said, "The peanuts. They're complimentary."

A penguin goes into a pub...

At the bar the peanuts say:
"Nice tie Mr!"
In the toilets the condom machine says :
"You look stupid in that tie"
So he complains to the barman. The barman says :
"the peanuts are complimentary but the condom machine is out of order"

This was the best joke of my birthday cards this morning, so thither I would share.

I walked past a toy store with a huge line outside.

I asked what was going on and someone mentioned a complimentary lunch, so I joined in.

Bit dissapointing though, turned out to be a free Barbie queue.

A man walks into a bar

A man walks into a bar, and orders a drink.
As the bartender pours his drink, he begins to hear little voices saying nice things to him.
"Great tie, looks nice with those shoes."
"Swell haircut."

He asks the bartender about the voices, and the bartender replies, "Oh. It's the peanuts, they're complimentary."

A man goes to a bar

He sits down at the bar and hears a voice "that's a nice shirt man, lookin good!"

He thinks "That's odd," and orders a drink. "Man that's a good drink order, you have good taste!"

Again, the man is confused. He says to the bartender "what's that voice I keep hearing?"

Bartender says "it's the peanuts, they're complimentary."

A guy walks into a bar

He takes some of the free peanuts, but before he eats one, it says Hey, cool shirt . Guy says to the bartender Those peanuts are pretty nice . Bartender says Yeah, they're complimentary


What's the difference between a complimentary cocktail and a significant brain surgery?

One is a free bottle in front of me, and the other is a pre-frontal lobotomy

Vladimir Putin to begin marketing Kremlin brand jeans

Each pair comes with a complimentary Donald Trump in the back pocket.

What do you call a voucher for complimentary Chipotle?

free coli

A man walks into a bar and it's empty – it's just him and the bartender. He sits down and orders a drink.

He hears someone whisper, Pssst…I like your tie. The man looks around but doesn't see anyone.

Pssst…that color looks nice on you.

He asks the bartender, Excuse me, but…are you speaking to me?

The bartender rolls his eyes and says, No, sorry about that. It's the peanuts… they're complimentary.

I went to a bar last night...

The free peanuts mentioned how great my outfit looked.The broken jukebox told me i had a terrible hair cut.I asked the bartender what their deal was.
'Well,the nuts are complimentary and the music player is out of order'

I went to a very busy night club last night

They had a sign that said: Complimentary Vallet up front.

They told me they liked my shoes and charged me $50.00 to park the car.

What did the pancake say to the complimentary muffin?

I'm flattered!

What do camping and fancy hotels have in common?

Toilet trees are complimentary.


There is an abundance of planters jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 19 funniest jokes and complimentary puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any cocktail witze you can hear about complimentary.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes