Complicated Jokes
83 complicated jokes and hilarious complicated puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about complicated that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover the funniest and most complicated jokes out there! From long complicated puns to overly complicated mathematical jokes, we've got you covered. Learn how to add a factor of hilarity to any conversation with the perfect joke and complicate the simple.
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Funniest Complicated Short Jokes
Short complicated jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The complicated humour may include short difficult jokes also.
- Avril Lavigne could have just called her song Skater boy instead of Sk8er Boi. Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?
- A black guy and a white guy each drink 3 beers at a bar, who pays the bill? They each pay for their own because men aren't complicated
- Why did the accordion player sell his instrument and switch to the drums? He wanted to play something less complicated.
- "Your case is quite complicated." Patient: Why doctor? What happened?
Doc: You have a disease from the chapter I skipped during my studies. - My job is sectioning and dehydrating organic materials. It may sound complicated, but it's actually cut and dry.
- Babies are like the total opposite of a complicated dinner recipe It's more fun to make one than it is to eat one.
- A lot of people think apartheid is a complicated issue But i think it's pretty black and white
- You know what I hate about how Avril Lavigne spells her name? She had to go and make things so complicated.
- Yesterday, I surveyed strangers and asked them which gender is more complicated. Half of the women are still answering.
- A Crossbow is like a Beautiful Woman It has a lot of complicated parts and if you handle them wrong it will snap and break your fingers.
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Complicated One Liners
Which complicated one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with complicated? I can suggest the ones about complex and problematic.
- What do you call complications during chidbirth A midwife crisis.
- How does Link from Legend of Zelda always die? Heart complications.
- You know, capitalism can be pretty complicated But communism? Everyone gets it
- Where do you learn to make complicated ice-cream dishes? Sundae school.
- I have a fear of over complicated industrial facilities It's a complex complex complex
- Why are cows so complicated? They've got a lot of mooing parts
- Girls are like pi. Irrational and complicated.
- Complex numbers are complicated. Please tell me I'm just imagining things.
- I made a gaffe about birth complications Well, that came out wrong.
- I'm in love with an 11 letter word that starts with c and ends with d It's complicated
- Are you a Rhesus Factor? Because you just complicated my pregnancy.
- How do you solve the complicated problem of euthanasia? Open up more schools over there
- When England exit a competition It's merely an Exit.. so much less complicated.
- I know someone who can do complicated math in their head It's mental.
- I tried to add 1 + 1 But it was two complicated for me.
Most Complicated Jokes
Here is a list of funny most complicated jokes and even better most complicated puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- There was a young man weeping The man was sitting at a library table
A young lady approached him and asked what was wrong
He replied It's complicated
And showed his calculus homework - I would never vaccinate my own child because of all the complications Thats why I leave it to the certified medical professionals to do it.
- Jacob never needed to set up that complicated plan to steal the blessing from Esau. He could have just sneezed and let Issac say "bless you, Jacob."
- True story: Wife asked the 7yo, "Do you have any girlfriends at school?" 7yo, "No, just 'personal complications'."
- Dad had a few complications last evening. Doctors removed everything on his left side. He's all right now.
- Health care is too expensive, I went to the hospital for complications from my diabetes And It cost me an arm and a leg.
- The local hospital hired a Roman nurse! Complications arose when the IV was issued to bed #4.
- How did the Professor of Electromagnetism solve a complicated problem? He used inductive reasoning
- Some individuals understand the most complicated things in the universe... I'm sitting here trying to figure out my electricity bill.
- With all of these Muslims coming into Canada Racisim is suddenly a lot more complicated, it's not so black-and-white anymore.
Really Complicated Jokes
Here is a list of funny really complicated jokes and even better really complicated puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Everybody makes race relations seem so complicated But really the issue is pretty black and white
- Some people really don't understand what it means. to live simply. I don't get it. It's not that complicated.
Long Complicated Jokes
Here is a list of funny long complicated jokes and even better long complicated puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Scientists have decided to take a step back, and send less complicated messages to possible alien life. "If the angle is 30 degrees, and the y-axis is 20 ft long, send n**...".
Uproarious Complicated Jokes to Share with Friends
What funny jokes about complicated you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean sophisticated jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make complicated pranks.
Guy walks into a f**... home
He tells the receptionist, my wife is dying, and i need to buy a gravesite.
Receptionist says, sure, no problem. Just fill out this paperwork and we'll get the process started.
Guy says, well you should know up front this might get complicated. See, my wife weighs 800 pounds.
Ah, the receptionist says. The plot thickens.
Philosophy final
in a class for philosophy, the teacher looks at his class, grabs his chair, places it on his desk and tells the entire classroom about his final.
"You have only one question: use your knowledge that I have taught you in this class and prove to me that this chair doesn't exist. You have until the end of class."
Now while everyone else in the class worked on long complicated answers to his problem, one student got up from his desk almost as soon as it begun. The student smiles and hands the teacher his paper and was off.
The teacher, almost sad that the student didn't even try, looked at the sheet of paper and gave the student an "A"
His answer: What chair?
Talking to women
A newlywed man was talking with an old war veteran about what to excpect in his upcoming marriage. After talking about several different topics the veteran turns to the newlywed and says the most complicated thing that you will come across in marriage is communication. Puzzled the newlywed askes why that is so. The veteran explains by saying that talking to a woman is a lot like walking in a minefield. You hope its clear but you never know when you are going to set her off.
Did you hear the one about the mother who called all her 10 sons Anthony?
When someone told her that it's a complication she replied, "No it's not. It simplifies my life."
"How so?" she was asked.
"Simple" she replied, "When dinner's ready I just call Anthony and all of them come."
"But what do you do if you want to call the attention of one in particular?"
"I call him by his last name."
Needed: Eyelids
A baby is born with no eyelids. The doctors need a solution, and fast. The best solution, and the one they arrive at, is to use his f**... for his new eyelids. They successfully attach his f**... as eyelids, with only one complication. Now hes a little c**...-eyed.
Two scientists walk into a bar
The first scientist says, "I'll have some H20."
The second scientist says, "I'll have a glass of water, too, Wh.. why did you say H20? Like, I know it's the chemical formula for water and all. but it's the end of the day and there's really no need to intentionally over-complicate things like that in a situation outside of work."
The first scientist stares at his drink, angry that his assassination plan has failed.
It's complicated having s**... with hipsters.
They don't like things that are "in".
Before I begin today's lecture
I'd like to relay an anecdote from my days as a student. My classmate and I both loved the same girl. In the end, she chose him and I was left with heartbreak. But my classmate was left with heart failure. Which brings me to today's subject: s**... and its complications.
My son was born without eyelids...
The Dr suggested a new procedure using his f**... after circumcision to replace his missing lids. The only possible complication was that he would be a little c**...-eyed.
Interviewer: Name one of your accomplishments
Applicant:Well I discovered aliens, outside my house and managed to learn their language.
Interviewer:That seems rather complicated...
Applicant:Well Spanish isn't hard to learn sir.
2 scientists walk into a bar
the first one says: I´ll have a glass of H2O...
the second one says: i´ll have a glass of water too.... Wh... why did you say H2O ? Is there any reason to use the chemical formular outside the lab ?Doesn`t this just over-complicate things for no reason ? I really don´t think that was very smart...
the first scientists stares at his drink, angry, that his assassination plan has failed...
A conductor asked me if I could help him drive a train...
I said, "yeah of course, how hard could it be?" Then I saw how complicated the control panel was. It was then that I realized that I may have bitten off more than I could choo.
Operation successful
An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting a complicated surgery on him and.....
he insisted that his son-in-law, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.
As he was about to get the anaesthesia, he spoke to his son-in-law.
'Yes, Dad, what is it?'
'Don't be nervous son; do your best and just remember, if something happens to me.........
........your mother in law will come and live with you.'
The surgery was a great success....
An Englishman wants to transform into an Irish.
He inquires the expert doctor about alternatives.
**Doc**: "We will have to remove the right half of your brain."
**Patient**: "Alright. Let's go through with it."
(The next day, after the procedure...)
**Doc**: "There were serious complications during the operation.
We had to remove your entire brain. There is of course the option of installing a monkey brain."
**Patient**: "Non, non, non. -C'est magnifique!"
I used to be sesquipedally loquacious
I got bullied because I couldn't even explain that that meant I was talking all the time with big and overly complicated words.
That's when the e**... made physical contact with a hydro-electric powered oscillating air current distribution device.
Philosophers in 500B.C.: Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated
Philosophers in 400B.C.: The greatest wealth is to live content with little.
Philosophers in 1200: Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one.
Philosophers in 1900: That which does not kill us makes us stronger.
Philosophers in 2017: Would you like some drinks with that order?
A mathematician a physicist and an engineer...
A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer were all given a cow and told to find the volume. The mathematician carefully measured the dimensions of the cow and evaluated a very complicated integral. The physicist filled a beaker with water, put the cow inside and measured the total displacement. The engineer looked at the cow and said, let's suppose the cow is a sphere.
A woman is pregnant with twins
but because of complications during labor, she passed out for about 24 hours after the birth. When she wakes up, she asks to see her children, excited to name them.
The doctor says sure, here they are, but your brother already named them.
What? she exclaims, what did he name them?
He named the girl, Denise, said the doctor.
Hmm, she says, I guess that's ok. I like Denise. What did he name my son?
Denephew.
We?
Husband comes out a very complicated surgery and tells his wife: Honey, the doctor said we can't have s**... for about 3 months.
The wife replies: What do you mean 'we'? YOU cant have s**... for 3 months...
A son ask his dad to explain the difference between reality and fiction.
Dad: It's complicated but let me try to explain. Honey, would you sleep with the neighbor for 100,000$?
Mom: Yes of course because I know we need the money.
Dad: Very good. Alright now Tasha, would you have s**... with the neighbor's son for 200,000$?
Daughter: Yeah sure!
Dad: Perfect. So you see son, right now we would have 300,000 fictional dollars but in reality we have two w**... in this house.
s**... is like a complicated joke.
I don't get it.
I know a joke about nitric oxide
Every time I tell it though my skin turns red and I sometimes see spots.
See, because nitric oxide is a vasodilator that increases blood flow and lowers blood pressure? Yeah I know, it's way too complicated for a joke, that's why most people just say NO
Three fishermen catch a mermaid. If they agree to set her free, she will grant them each a wish. The first guy says, "OK, I want you to double my I.Q." Immediately, the guy recites Shakespeare flawlessly. The second guy asks the mermaid to triple his I.Q.
Suddenly, he's spouting complicated mathematical solutions. Impressed, the last guy asks the mermaid to quintuple his I.Q. The mermaid hesitates and asks, "Are you sure that's what you really want?" "Absolutely!" says the man. The mermaid smiles. Instantly, the third man turns into a woman.
One day, a mathematician was found dead in his office....
When they investigated they found he had died of dehydration, slumped over an untranslated copy of Homer's Iliad that had been sent to him by mistake.
Scrawled on the margins were the words "This is the most complicated equation I have ever seen"
How many Zionists does it take to change a lightbulb?
To change a lightbulb is actually very complex and you really need to know the entire history of lightbulbs, and electricity, to even begin to understand. There is also some very complicated electronics involved in getting the grid to power the lightbulb and unless you understand all of this, then you probably shouldn't be asking these questions.
A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him.
Why do we have to learn this stuff?" The young man blurted out.
"To save lives," the professor responded before continuing the lecture.
A few minutes later the student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?"
The professor stared at the student for a long time. "Physics saves lives," he said, "because it keeps the idiots out of medical school."
A professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept.
A pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask "Why do we have to learn this stuff?"
"To save lives." The professor responded quickly and continued the lecture.
A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?" he persisted.
"It keeps the ignoramuses out of medical school," replied the professor.
True story: My kids jokingly called me their favorite mom the other day. (I'm their dad.)
Me: No, then you wouldn't be able to see me.
Kids: *[visible confusion]*
Me: I'd be trans-parent.
-
^(Follow-up: I'm sorry to inform you that the kids perished from complications related to excessive eye rolling.)
Life saving
A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him. "Why do we have to learn this stuff? " the frustrated student blurted out. "To save lives," the professor responded before continuing the lecture. A few minutes later the student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives? "The professor stared at the student without saying a word. "Physics saves lives," he finally continued, "because it keeps the idiots out of medical school. "
Did you see on the news the boy who was born with no eyelids?
The doctors rushed him to emergency surgery for his circumcision and immediately replaced his eyelids with his f**... in a miraculous surgery. The doctor was praised and during an interview stated "the boy is going to be just fine, we don't see any major complications in his future however he may end up to be a bit cockeyed"
Getting a s**... change isn't that complicated.
Little bit of snipping.
Little bit of stitching.
And Bob's your aunt.
Vasectomy
He swore blind he had recently had a vasectomy and now a few weeks later she was sitting on her bathroom floor surrounded by positive pregnancy tests.
She rang him demanding an explanation and he replied I had to sit in Accident and Emergency for two days with a flowerpot glued to my g**... before they finally removed it. What would you b**... call it? .
She told him what she thought he had meant and managed a rueful smile over the complications arising from the vase difference.